P A G E 12
paris in early spain
P D E IR V
ON FINDING MY BOOTS AGAIN
T h e b ig c l e a r - p l a s t i c b a g
t h a t c a m e h o m e w ith m e f r o m H a r b o r v i e w
h a d h a d m y b o o t s in i t .
A nd a ll m y c u t- a p a r t, r e tc h e d - u p o n c lo th e s an d
a s t r a n g e r 's s w e a te r
a n d a n o th e r s t r a n g e r 's s k i j a c k e t.
T h e b ig p l a s t i c b a g , t a g g e d w ith m y n a m e ,
h e l d a l l t h e s e t h i n g s a n d b e g a n to h o l d
g r u e s o m e s m e l l s — m i l d e w o f b lo o d , m i l d e w o f b i l e .
A r e a l l p a t i e n t s s e n t h o m e w ith s u c h a b a g ?
THE BRINK
I w e a r y o f th e c r e p e h a n g e r s
T h a t m a k e of s t a r s , s ig h tle s s
e y e s in t h e c a d a v e r o f
a fa ilin g u n iv e r s e .
Is t h e d e a t h r a t t l e s o a u d i b l e
T h a t w e f o r g e t w e a r e on
th e b r in k
B o th o f d i s a s t e r a n d h o p e ?
M ARY
M
c
KENNEY
A n d f o r a lo n g t i m e , I d i d n 't t h in k o f
m y b o o ts .
M y d a n c i n g p a r t n e r , a n IV o n a p o le ,
h e ld m e tig h tly b y th e w r i s t .
A n d I w a s g l a d h e l e d , in o u r d a n c e .
S o m e h o w I d i d n 't h a v e th e m i g h t o r t h e w it
t o d o a n y th i n g b u t f o ll o w .
F o l l o w i n to d r e a m s , f o ll o w d o w n t h e h a l l —
It w a s a s lo w , s t r a i g h t d a n c e .
He s e e m e d v e r y a tta c h e d to m e .
B u t e v e n tu a lly w e w e re s e p a r a te d —
h e s e n t t o l i v e w ith h i s o w n k in d ,
a n d m e w ith m i n e .
A n d I b e g a n to t h i n k o f m y b o o t s .
T h e y w e re a g o o d p a ir , h o w th e y c a m e up
a ro u n d m y a n k le s , how m y f e e t fe lt
i n v u l e r n a b l e in t h e m .
M y f e e t f e l t l ik e t h e y c o u l d c l o b b e r t h e g r o u n d .
A nd w e a rin g th e m , I h a d m o x y , h a d h u e v o s ,
a n d c h u t z p a h . I w a s s t r o n g a s a b a n jo n o te !
N o n e o f w h ic h s e e m e d t o d o m e a n y g o o d
th a t m o r n in g , m y b o o ts on th e d a r k
w et a s p h a lt of th e lo a d in g d o c k .
. . . A nd th e n th e y w e re tip p e d , to e s up
to th e F e b r u a r y 2 2 n d r a i n .
A n d l y in g o n th e a s p h a l t , I t h o u g h t ,
D e a th i s n o b ig d e a l
N o b ig d e a l .
A n d th e h a r d m e t a l s c i s s o r s o f th e p a r a m e d i c s
r a n u p o n e a r m , a c r o s s th e c h e s t,
d o w n th e o t h e r a r m .
A n d th e c l o t h e s c a m e a p a r t .
A n d th e l i g h t p a w p r i n t s o f F e b r u a r y 2 2 n d r a i n
c a m e t o t r e a d o v e r th e p o o r r i b s ,
t h e d e a r a b d o m e n , th e b r a v e l i v e r .
F in e , lig h t, w et t r a c k s .
O f th e c i r c l e o f p e o p le s t a n d i n g
t h e r e in th e r a i n ,
tw o s t r a n g e r s c a m e u n c l a d ,
a n d la id c lo th in g a c r o s s
th e b o d y m u c h to o b a r e f o r F e b r u a r y .
I fo u n d m y b o o ts in a s t o r a g e c l o s e t ,
th e y h a d b e e n a ir in g o u t f o r 9 m o n th s .
In t h e p a s t 3 s e a s o n s , I h a v e w o r n
w a y to o m a n y s l i p p e r s .
A n d i t 's tim e
i t 's a lm o s t tim e
f o r m y b o o ts to c o m e b a c k o n .
G A IL
t
G L A D S J0
THE FACTS OF LIFE
W in te r, a n d a g r a y s to r m s e a
b e h a v e d a s i f w e d i d n 't m a t t e r ,
d r i v i n g th e m a i n d e c k u n d e r w a t e r ,
b r e a k i n g o v e r th e f l y i n g b r i d g e ,
l e a v i n g th e c a t w a l k s s l i c k w ith i c e .
E v e n o u r ta n k e r s e e m e d to ig n o re
i t s o w n d e s p a i r , w a llo w in g
s te a d ily n o r th lik e a f lo a tin g b r ic k .
F o r a n i g h t a n d a d a y w e d i d n 't e a t
o r s le e p o r c h a n g e o u r filth y c lo th e s ,
s t a r i n g in to a s k y th e c o lo r o f a s h ,
t r y i n g t o w i l l th e w e a t h e r to b r e a k ,
e v e n th e o ld s a l t s s t u d y i n g c l o u d s ,
r e l u c t a n t to m e e t e a c h o t h e r 's g a z e .
A n d th e f r e e z i n g r a i n b lo w n h o r i z o n t a l ,
s w e e p i n g th e d e c k s l ik e s h o tg u n b l a s t s .
B e l l s d o w n in th e e n g i n e r o o m .
T h e s lo w f i n g e r o f m o v in g l i g h t
f r o m th e l i g h t s h i p o f f C o l u m b i a b a r
b a r e l y a b l e to b o r e a h o le
in th e s m o t h e r i n g d a r k n e s s . N ig h t.
C h r i s t , w h y d id w e e v e r c o m e to s e a ?
W h e r e a r e th e w h a l e s a n d p o r p o i s e s ,
th e th o u s a n d m e r m a i d s s in g in g ?
T h e n th e s h i p t u r n e d e a s t , A s t o r i a ,
t h e s h e l t e r o f th e r i v e r , s t i l l
i n v i s i b l e a c r o s s t h a t d e a d l y p a tc h
o f t u r b u l e n c e , th e c r i s s - c r o s s w a v e s ,
th e s h if tin g s a n d b a r s j u s t b e n e a th
th e s u r f a c e , to s s in g s te e l lik e c o r k ,
a n d a l l o f u s in l i f e p r e s e r v e r s ,
h a tc h e s b a tte n e d , p o r th o le s b a tte n e d .
M a y b e w e c o u ld m a k e it o v e r .
M a y b e b y t o m o r r o w w e 'd be d r i n k i n g
b e e r in b a r s in d o w n to w n P o r t l a n d .
M a y b e w e w o u ld s a i l a g a i n . O r m a y b e
w e w o u ld f i n a l l y p r o v e w h a t a n y s a i l o r
u n d e r s t a n d s , th e s c i e n t i s t s b e d a m n e d :
th e e a r t h is f l a t , y o u r e a c h t h e e d g e ,
f a l l o ff, a n d d o n 't c o m e b a c k .
W. D. E H R H A R T
y e a h i s a w y o u th e r e on th e f r i n g e s ,
d u l l e d b e f o r e th e l i g h t s w e n t o u t ,
c r o u c h e d in b o r e d o m , c l i n g i n g r e d r i b b o n s
a n d b l o n d e , c a m e in f o r c o f f e e ,
m o th to l i g h t , a n d e n d e d u p w ith a b e e r .
je s u s ,
y o u c a n be ju s t a s fu tile h e re
a s y o u c a n in C h ic a g o .
a d o lla r tw o n ig h ty e ig h t f o r
b a d w h is k e y a n d a ro u g h tim e ,
m o v e m e n t to m y e y e , m in e o r y o u r s ,
w ilte d th o u g h ts o f w ho b u t w h a t
th e h e ll w as h e r n a m e a n y w a y ,
s a m e y e llo w - r e d s h r i e k of m o tio n ,
th e w h i r l p o o l w r a p s t i g h t e r ,
b le n d e d c o lo r s of y e s te r d a y fad e
to h a r d l i g h t o f d a r k r o o m m o m e n t g o n e ,
b l e a t o f l o u d m a n 's v o i c e d b e l i e f ,
n o t to s a y to o m u c h t o to o m a n y ,
h e o f d o - r i g h t h o n k ie s n a r l w h o
d o n 't d r i n k w ith n o s h o e s h i n e s a l e s m a n ,
a s b la s te d le n n y tu r n s b a c k to y o u
f r o m s a ig o n a n d s a y s f r o m b e h in d h is b e e r :
" i 'v e l e a r n e d t o b e s i l e n t . "
r e s ig n e d to a c ru s h in g in d if f e r e n c e ,
e y e s u n b lin k a b le , g o n e b u t n o t f o r g o tte n ,
c o n n e d by m i r r o r s in to e a tin g h is ow n b e lie f s
a n d n o w d y in g o f s t a r v a t i o n ,
a n o t h e r s m a l l d e a t h in a q u i e t p l a c e . . .
a c c e le r a tin g s c r e a m o f o n ru s h in g v o rte x ,
e y e s b u r n e d c le a r a n d d r y to lig h t,
p a i n o f m o v e m e n t , a m e r i c a n t o f in d ,
a m e r i k a n to l o s e
b lin d in g s c r e a m , d e a fe n in g f la s h w ill fa d e ,
b u t a p a n o ra m ic b itte r n e s s w ill la s t,
r u m o r e d m u r m u r s , g h o s ts o f b ig b ill
h a y w o o d f r o m t h e b a c k o f th e r o o m ,
" g o d 's g o n s k i e d on t h e r e n t a n d
s t o l e n t h e l a n d l a d y 's r e f r i g e r a t o r "
e n d le s s r a d io b a c k s la p d r i f t s in th ro u g h
th e h ills f r o m b o a r d m a n a n d la g r a n d e ,
d u m b o ld m e r l e s q u a w k s :
" w e l l i d o n 't m i n d y a b u d d y b u t i 'm
g o n n a h a v e to p u n c h y a in th e f a c e ,
c a u s e m y dog d ie d , m y w o m a n le f t m e ,
a n d th e n ig g e r s b le w u p m y p l a c e ,"
a l o n g w ith h e o f r a n d o m t h r e a t ,
w ho w as fiv e te e n w h en he tu rn e d tw e n ty -o n e ,
e l ju a n f r o m in fin ite e a s t l . a .
w ill be h e a d e d o u t a c r o s s th e lin e to n ig h t,
b o u n d f o r a lo s t s c e n e of o p e n v e in e d o b s c u r ity
a n d m o n a l i s a s w ith t h e h i g h w a y b l u e s
r u n n in g s c r e a m i n g in to th e n ig h t,
l o o k in g f o r r e a l e s t a t e c r e d i t c a r d s
b u t f in d i n g o n ly h o p e l e s s r e n e g a d e s
o r j u s t a n o th e r litn e y b a s ta r d
w ho r a n o u t on h is h i s t o r y a n d
e n d e d u p i n a n o ld f o r d o n b r o a d w a y ,
w a tc h in g th e tim e r u n on a n d
f lu n k i n g t h e p r o p a g a n d a c o u r s e
w ith th in s h o e s o n c o ld c o n c r e te ,
m u m b le d a p o lo g ie s , s c r e a m e d i ll it e r a c y
a n d r e n te d th a n k s to m r . x ,
w ho is a w a itin g f u r t h e r o r d e r s ,
a l s o th e c h r o m e d l e a d e r o f n o
o p i n io n s a n d l i t t l e q u e e n i e
of th e m a e w e s t s to m p ,
a n d th o s e lo s t, le f to v e r
b e a t g e n e ra tio n h o r r o r s ,
ris in g fro m above an d
f a l l i n g f r o m b e lo w ,
r u n n i n g d o w n , h a n g in g o n . . .
y eah you w e re th e re ,
in p u r p l e r o s e s a n d b lu e j e a n s ,
lo s t v a rie ty fro z e n s m ile ,
in a c o n s c i o u s i n s t a n t a n d
a m i r r o r e d im a g e f r o m th e
b o tto m of a b a r r o o m g l a s s .
d a v id
h a ría n
LIVENGOOD AND LEAVES
B e f o r e I s t a r t to w r i t e
I assu m e. . .
— R ic h a r d H ugo, 1 9 2 3 -8 2
A t L iv e n g o o d th e d r u g s t o r e 's g o in g b l i n d .
T h e d r u g g i s t f i l l s h i s b l a n k s w ith b o o z e .
T h e r e 's n o p r e s c r i p t i o n f o r g o o d l u c k .
T h r e e b a r s d o w n th e b a r b e r h a s l e f t
h i s l a n o l i n a n d r a z o r s . H e 's g o n e
t o g r o o m s u c c e s s in M i l p i t a s , C a l i f o r n i a .
In w h a t i s l e f t of h o u s e s , h o u s e w i v e s
b e a t t h e i r h u s b a n d s w ith th e f i s t s
o f t h e ir f r ig id a n d fu g itiv e d r e a m s .
T h e r i v e r e n d s th e to w n in m u d . D a m n
is j u s t a s o u n d th e y s a y to s to p
th e c u r r e n t f r o m a lw a y s c u rv in g in .
T h e la w s i g h s in th e s h e r i f f 's l a p .
T h e i r a f f a i r 's s o t i r e d t h e y 'r e g o in g
to m a r r y a n d m o v e t o a c o n d o in O r l a n d o .
T h e b o a r d s g o f i r s t in s p l i n t e r s . T h e n
t h e w in d o w s s h i v e r c l e a r to w i n d s . T h e w in d
b r e a k s d o w n to L i v e n g o o d a n d l e a v e s .
T IM
BA RNES