Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Illinois Valley news. (Cave City, Oregon) 1937-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 14, 2015)
Illinois Valley News, Cave Junction, Ore. Wednesday, January 14, 2015 Page A-9 Winding Trails: by Al Hobart Thursday, January 16, 1964 Illinois Valley News, Cave Junction The Slakery (Whimsy) In the cutthroat competition of today, whenever the news gets around that a new and radically different enterprise is about to be launched, excited businessmen cast suspicious and avaricious eyes on the upstart newcomer who dares to horn in on their established markets. And Illinois Valley is no exception to this nefarious custom. Whenever I walk down the sidewalk of any town in the Valley I feel the baleful eyes of the local merchants boring into my back like laser beams. And all because of my altruistic intention to set up a new business that will be of incalculable benefit to the lucky people of the Valley. I intended to keep the thing hush-hush till opening day, but as long as some zany has leaked the secret I might as well give a cursory outline of what’s in the wind, with the exciting details to be published in next week’s issue of The gazette. For several years I have been working out the details of a scheme that will doubtless cause an unprecedented furor in the ranks of the country’s food vendors. It entails the construction of an immense retail and wholesale establishment, and is something hither-to unheard of in the field of merchandising. The new hypermarket is in process of erection and will be completed by the 12th of next month. It is to be called the Packer’s Gulch Slakery, which has nothing to do with thirst. It is a combination slaughter-house and bakery; and when our delightful new products begin flooding the market, all those old-fashioned bakers, butchers and grocers in the Valley will be tearing their hair and cursing their luck because they didn’t think of it first. The astonishing and heretofore unsuspected fact that the different kinds of meats, vegetables and fruits can be combined to produce unbelievably nutritious food, along with irresistible appeal to the most fastidious appetite, is the greatest discovery to come out of the prestigious Packer’s Gulch food-chemistry laboratories in decades. A long list of delicious and invaluable recipes and formulas will be presented for your delighted approval in the forthcoming special edition of the Packer’s gulch gazette. Meanwhile, to prevent your blowing a gasket with curiosity and impatience, I present herewith an abbreviated list of our brand new miracle products: (1) Prunison. This is a sort of super-cobbler made from equal parts of Italian prunes and back strap of venison. Soak pitted prunes overnight. Chop up venison with a few onions and sauté lightly; mix with prune and a few sprigs of parsley, wrap the whole mess in a blanket of Bisquick dough and bake in a slow oven. You can make this cobbler yourself, but why bother when you can get it from the Slakery at the unheard of price of $3.39 per pound. (2) Squm. Here is a real treat. It is a rich blend of silver-gray squirrel - greengage plums. The squirrel meat and plums are run through the food chopper and mixed with pearl barley, corn flakes and wheat germ to a thickness of putty, then baked in a 350-degree oven for 2 hours and 40 seconds. A loaf or two of Squm will assure the success of any picnic, even in a downpour. (3) Frosh. Frosh is the ultimate in puddings, and one of our tastiest products. It is made of frog’s legs and banana squash. The frog legs are fried till they stop squirming and mixed with the stewed squash. A clove of garlic and a teaspoon of oregano are added and all baked until slightly firm. Remove from oven and sprinkle with raw sugar and paprika. Return to oven and baste frequently with Southern Comfort till done. This is our most nutritious and strengthening product. No athlete in his right mind would think of going onto the field without first filling up on Frosh. Another of our delectable aliments deserving of mention is Squeal Pie, cleverly fabricated from butternut squash and braised veal. And our premium Plunk, an ingenious concoction of broiled plantain and skunk briskets, is not to be sniffed at. Watch The gazette for important announcement of grand opening of fabulous Slakery – with free servings of hot Ovaltine and Hootichokes, a revolutionary new doughnut made from shredded artichokes and hootowl livers. Classifieds ‘We ‘We Know Know the the Valley’ Valley’ 111 111 800-238-6493 / 541-592-3858 800-238-6493 / 541-592-3858 llc. 221 S. Redwood Hwy. PO Box 835 221 Cave Junction, OR 97523 www.oregonmountain.com 541-592-4146 Want best? Hire Hire the the Best! Best! Want the the best? We represent both Buyers and Sellers. We represent both Buyers and Sellers. Newer home on the outskirts of town with over a quarter acre. 3 bedrooms, 2 baths. 1687 sq. ft. Several upgrades such as vaulted ceil- ings, tile, granite counters and propane fireplace. Walk in closet in mas- ter bedroom and master bath. Garage is finished off inside and even has hot and cold water in the utility sink. $172,000 mls# 2947495 5.06 acres with breath taking view!! Southern exposure. There is a knoll where a new home could be set & capture this same view. Mix of trees, a yr round creek and a seasonal creek too. Well and septic already installed and power is close by. Zoned for easy development and Mfg. homes are allowed too. $96,500 MLS# 2950528 Level, treed property in Cave Junction. .91 ac. for $60,000 MLS# 2952428. .92 ac. for $60,000 MLS# 2952441 and 1.77 ac. for $90,000 MLS# 2952440. Each lot is zoned for single family residences at this time. Each property could possibly be split with a land partition. Possi- bility of apartments/multifamily residences with a zone change. Home(s) would need to hook up to city services. Very private 5 acres, very nice, 3 BR, 2 and 1/2 bath, 2568 sq. ft. 2007 triple wide. Looks like new. Huge kitchen with a lg. island that has an open floor plan. Enjoy the natural rock fireplace in family rm. while in the kitchen. Hickory cabinets throughout. Arctic package for insulation. Windows have very high energy rating and provide natural sunlight for the whole house throughout the day. Lg. master bedroom suite has an ex- tra room for privacy and relaxing. Entry way opens into a formal dining room and an additional living room. Enjoy the forested property from the deck that can be entered from the master bedroom or room that has the fireplace. There are also fruit trees, and special plants like Japanese maple and crepe myrtle. Partially fenced. $239,000 MLS #2952442 B ingo for A ll A ges WednesdAys eArly Bird 6:30 - m. 7PM J 17 gAMes 7 - 10PM HAMBurgers for sAle 520 e. river street, CJ iv senior Center AUTOS WANTED FIREWOOD $ $ PAYING $ $ $ TOP DOLLAR $ $50 ~ $200 for autos and trucks. Same day service at Valley Wreckers in Selma. Call David Rubenstein at 541- 450-3013. PERPETUAL FLAME Green hard- wood $200 a cord, 2 cord minimum, Soft wood $160 a cord, 2 cord minimum, De- livered in the Illinois Valley. 541-660- 8704___ ktfn-B NEW…JP Auto & Metal Recycling, 29910 Redwood Hwy. (used to be I.V. Recyclers/Jerry’s Towing) Buy scrap metal; we sell new & used parts; purchased Bi-rite’s inventory. Certified Scales. Now purchasing ferrous material by the ton.& non-ferrous coming soon. We are buying cars, cash paid; will pick-up, same day service. Call 541- 592-3691, 541-505- 4270. B.JP.M ½ cords, seasoned madrone, hardwoods $125, you pick up, call 541-660-1505 1.14-P HAY FOR SALE DOUBLE A RANCH Hay sales. High quality Klamath Alfalfa, grass and grass/alfalfa mix hay. Straw available located in Selma. We deliver. 541-- 659-7822 3.30.15 SERVICES D Illinois I V O R C E Valley $155. Complete News preparation. Includes children, custody, support, property and bills division. No court appearances. Divorced in 1-5 weeks possible. 503-772-5295. wralegalalternatives. com legalalt@msn. com Brush Bros. Yard Service. Property cleanups, brush and berry removal, tree trimming, wood splitting, haul- ing,541-660-1505. tfn FREE Free to a good home a set of encyclopedia Britannica Call 541- 441-0968______Tfn Free, silver blue, used carpet, call 541-287-1018 FREE Free piano Lester Spinet,excellent tone, 1 pedal-ham- mer, needs work, 541-415-1471 please leave a message & number. AVON Rep. Laura Man- cuso serving the Cave Junction area, 541-660-5191. New Moisture Threrapy Derma Soothing suitable for Eczema on special for $7.99 and Ultra Galzewear lowest price ever, $2.99. Brochures at the I.V. News office or enjoy shopping at www.youravon.com/ lmancuso. FOR SALE 2 cemetary plots for sale by owner at Lau- rel Cemetary, $400 a piece. 541-659-9581 1.7-P HELP WANTED Experienced bar- tender/waitperson for Patrick Creek Lodge. Please call 707-457- 3323_______1.14-B M E D I C A L B I L L I N G T R A I N E E S NEEDED! Train at home to process Medical Billing & Insurance Claims! NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED! Online training at Bryan University! HS Diploma/GED & Computer/Internet needed 1-877-259- 3880. FOR RENT — One bedroom guest apartment, one adult, private entrance, full bath, kitchen, utilities included. $550 a month plus security. References needed. Call 541-287-1018. Public Notice CRAFTERS Takilma Community Association Annual Meeting and Elections Public Notice: The TCA will be having an annual meeting and elections on Monday February 2nd at 7pm. Location: 9335 Takilma Road, Cave Junction. All are welcome. Please call 541-592-4254 for more information. AT T E N T I O N CRAFTERS! SPRING FAIR March 27 & 29 at Douglas County Fairgrounds our 40 th year! Booths available for quality crafts. For information send SASE to Spring Fair 2015, PO Box 22, Dillard, OR 97432 or innerspacefamily@ gmail.com___2.4-B WANTED Just under 4 wooded acres at the edge of town but in the city limits. Property is 20 level and and has wooded paved road acres frontage. What a Parcel wonderful for partially a custom opened home on level in Selma. has spot been by city removing of the timber. under Seller story. setting. Well a up huge lot. Some some marketable may Nice help park-like with financing. $140,000 and septic installed but never connected. Gated driveway in with nice #1294 white granite boulders for accents. Perfect spot for that dream. In- Over half acre lot fronting Caves Highway. This level lot is zoned commer- cluded in the sale is a motivated seller that says they will finance and a cial so there are lots of possibilities here. It looks like there might be a well on the credit report is not important if buyers are willing to put a good down- property too. $169,000 $65,000 #1295 payment. # 1197 REDUCED: With material costs and labor costs down perhaps now is the With material costs and labor costs down, perhaps now is the time to time to build that dream home. We offer a private 6 acre setting in the heart of the build that dream home. We offer a private six-acre setting in the heart Valley Dick George Rd. George Property Road. has septic site approval and a drilled well that of the on valley on Dick Property has septic site approval shows gpm on well the that well shows log! Mostly level with a few trees. and a 50 drilled 50 GPM on the well log! $94,900 Mostly #1204 level with Quality two bath a few trees. workmanship $119,000 is evident everywhere in this three bedroom, # 1204 home. Entering the foyer, one has a choice of either proceeding to the family Check out the reduced price of this well-maintained two-bedroom, room two- or bath the formal room fireplace Features and mountain framed by laminate the large Selma living home on with five its acres. tile views countertops, picture window. A formal of dining room, space. large kitchen with island, would walk-in pantry a flooring, and „miles‟ counter The den/study make wonderful spot for room that home the picture. gazebo can bathroom survey and a laundry/utility are just office. part of From the big The you guest your a empire including the fenced garden accessible. area, koi pond, shed with Roman tub and shower stall is handicap You will potting find another and a tub spot the chickens. even Continuing include the in Roman and for shower stall in the Seller master might bathroom. with chickens the Roman the sale! The oversized two-car garage has room for your projects. It theme, there is an attached garage with room for two chariots. This lovely 2254 can be your dream home for the reduced price of $199,900. # 1163 sq. ft. home is situated on 1 acre in a gated community with river access. $299,500 Tired of having close neighbors? Want to build that dream home now #1239 that construction prices are down? We offer an 80-acre parcel in Newer 3 bedroom, 2 bath home on 6+ wooded Selma acres. This 2 story home Selma. Nicely wooded, a seasonal pond and stream plus Thompson features open floor plan, cathedral ceilings, and an attached over- Creek an frontage. Check this property out walk-in today. pantry $225,000 # 1201 sized double garage. Your guests will appreciate the RV hookup. $275,000 #1275 PETS Public Notice German shepherd pups, AKC, born 10/14, males only, solid black, $600 Big Spring Ken- nel 541-596-2137 Kerby Water District will hold its monthly board meeting Wednesday, Jan. 21, 2015 6 p.m. at the Kerby Belt Building, 24353 RWH in Kerby. The agenda will include, but is not limited to, general business and monthly financial reports. General public is welcome. New Day – New TiMe! Ready to change? We did! TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) weight Loss Support Group now meeting at the iV family Coalition Join us on Mondays 10 am – Noon in the river room FOr MOre iNFO CaLL 541-592-3167 DRINKING PROBLEM? Public Notice Lien Sale Notice The following people must contact A+ Mini Storage, 25657 Redwood Hwy, 97523 before 5:00 p.m., Jan. 30, Home 2014 and Services: bring their accounts Sara’s current or the contents of their unit/units will be sold: #54 5x10 M. Brooks #56 5x10 J. Barnes #92 10x10 G. Condra #181 5x10 E. Carlson #189 5x10 D. Brunnemer #199 10x15 G. Condra #208 10x20 P. Mitton 1.14 & 1.21 Room foR eveRyone AA CAN HELP CALL 541-592-2901 or 541-761-4115 *** CJ Meetings: Immanuel Methodist Church Mon 7-8 p.m. Wed 7-8 p.m. Thurs 7 p.m. Sat 7 p.m. Sun 7 p.m. Women’s Meetings: I.V. Family Coalition Building Fri 12 p.m. 4 bedroom, tri-level home on a landscaped corner lot in town. This home has over 2800 sq. ft. of living area with a Wednesday’s issue. separated section for a “mother-in-law” or someone needing their own space. formal dining room, family room and living room, plus 3 ½ baths. With a double carport, single carport and a single car garage, there is room for all your vehicles. fenced backyard for your pet. $256,230 #1296 oregon mountain Real Estate LLC 541-592-4146
