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I Scholarship
| Opportunity
| Title: Christopher B. Duro Fellowship |
f Deadline: June 30, 2011
f Website: www.sctei.org.
The Christopher B. Duro Fei-
1 lowship is a merit and need-based
| fellowship for Native students pur-
| suing graduate study to help the
| advancement of Native communities.
| Students who are chosen to be Duro
| Fellows will be eligible for up to
f $25,000 per year, based on need, and
= will be required to perform commu-
| nity service hours with the Southern
| California Tribal Education Institute
| and publish a scholarly article.
Preference will be given to first-
f generation Native graduate students.
Incomplete applications will not
i be reviewed.
Contact Information: Christo-
| pher B. Duro Fellowship Coordinator
| -sctei@yahoo.com
Notification of Awards: August
I 2011
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Library donations help beautify grounds, clean floors
By Audrey Casper
A local resident and longtime sup
porter of the Siletz Public Library gave
$300 to replace plants that had died
over the winter and to fill in some blank
spaces in the landscape. Bank of the West
donated $500 to purchase additional
supplies and plants to finish our current
beautification project.
In May, the Siletz Valley Friends of
the Library received $1,000 from the
Siletz Tribal Charitable Contribution
Fund to get the floors cleaned.
Several SVFOL board members
traveled to Garland’s Nursery in Corval
lis in late March. This journey yielded a
truckload of flowering plants and shrubs
One special purchase was a Pieris
Japonica (Lily of the Valley shrub) to
plant in memory of Jan Christensen, a
longtime library district board member
and supporter of the Siletz Library, who
passed away in December 2010.
Additional purchases in Lincoln
County added a pile of landscape mulch
and more tubing for our irrigation system.
A crew from the Lincoln County Jail
spent the better part of two days plant
ing the new pur
chases, installing
the expanded irri
gation system and
spreading mulch.
We look for
ward to seeing
the outcome of
this labor over the
summer and hope
all of you can stop
by and enjoy the
library - both inside
and outside.
Courtesy photo by
Audrey Casper
Alice McCain,
a Siletz Valley
Friends of the
Library board
member and chair
of the Landscape
Committee, adds
finishing touches
to the recent
landscape project.
June notes from the Healthy Family Healthy Child Project
By Mark Kimball, Project Manager
This month is the beginning of the
end of the series of articles on raising
our children. This month we will look at
“The Family Meeting.” As with all of the
articles in this series, I hope you will find
the subject interesting and challenging.
Democratic family relationships
develop most effectively when all mem
bers of the family have an equal oppor
tunity to join in the decision-making
process. This can be accomplished by
having family meetings.
The family meeting is a regularly
scheduled meeting of all family mem
bers. The topics are their beliefs, values,
wishes, complaints, plans, questions and
suggestions. It is an opportunity for all to
be heard on issues arising in the family.
The family meeting is an appropriate
time to plan family fun and to share good
experiences and positive feelings toward
each other. Regular meetings can pro
mote family harmony by providing time
for establishing rules, making decisions,
recognizing the good things happening in
the family and pointing out strengths of
individual members.
Some parents object to the idea of
regular meetings. “We don’t need them,”
they say. “Our family already holds a con
tinual family meeting. We discuss things
like this all the time.”
Nevertheless, I would urge you to set
aside a routine time for family meetings to
promote a definite commitment on each
person’s part to share in family concerns.
The meeting time should be convenient
for everyone.
If some members decide not to attend
the meeting, they will have to accept the
logical consequences of not attending;
for example, the rest of the family might
make decisions that will affect them with
out benefit of their input.
16
*
Siletz News
*
To summarize, the family meeting
provides opportunities for:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Being heard
Expressing positive feelings about one
another and giving encouragement
Distributing chores fairly among
members
Expressing concerns, feelings and
complaints
Settling conflicts and dealing with
recurring issues
Planning
Guidelines for family meetings
I would suggest the following as
guidelines for family meetings:
Meet at a regularly scheduled
time so family members can make their
plans accordingly and can count on a time
to discuss issues that are important to them.
Rotate the chair. Share the respon
sibilities of the meeting itself by rotating
who chairs the meeting. A parent can take
the chair first to model the procedures.
Then the family can plan a way to rotate the
responsibility among children and parents.
The original chairperson should be
a family member who believes in equal
rights and democratic relationships. The
chairperson starts and closes the meet
ing in line with times agreed upon. That
person makes sure all points of view are
heard and tries to keep members focused
on the issue under discussion.
The method of rotation should be
a group decision. Generally, a child of
school age can serve as chairperson with
adult guidance. Adult intervention should
be minimal - reminding the child of
procedures if necessary, but allowing the
child to lead the group.
Keep minutes of family meetings
so you have a record of issues, plans and
decisions. Some families find it helpful
to post the minutes of each meeting so
June 2011
family members can check the agreements
made. The role of secretary also should
rotate between family members.
Plan the time. Together, plan the
amount of time you will reserve for fam
ily meetings. They should not run longer
than one hour with older children, and
not more than 20-30 minutes with young
ones. Stay with your plans. Focus on the
business at hand.
Let all join in the discussion. All
family members must have the opportu
nity to make suggestions about an issue
under discussion. Parents as well as chil
dren join in making suggestions. If the
children come up with appropriate ideas,
parents should generally refrain from add
ing more, especially in the early stages of
family meetings.
It is important to withhold your sug
gestions until the children have finished
giving theirs. If you “jump in” with sug
gestions right away, the children may feel
you are trying to force your ideas on them.
After the democratic atmosphere has been
established, interactions back and forth
can become more lively and vigorous.
Limit griping. Guard against letting
the meetings become gripe sessions. If
griping becomes chronic, establish a rule
that complaints will be heard only if the
complainer is willing to seek a solution.
This can be done by asking the person rais
ing the problem whether he or she wants
to solve it or only to complain about it.
The leader’s function is to be sensitive to
the complainer’s feelings about the prob
lem, send I-messages when appropriate
and keep the focus on “What can we do
about it? How can we solve the problem?”
Cooperate in choosing chores.
In deciding who will do the household
chores, parents and children together
make a list of necessary chores and then
decide how to distribute them. Parents
can initiate a spirit of cooperation by
volunteering for the less desirable jobs
themselves. Parents should not, however,
continue to volunteer only for the “worst”
chores. To avoid misunderstandings, the
family needs to decide chore deadlines
and what the consequences will be if the
deadlines are missed.
Honor agreements. Any agree
ments made in the family meetings are
to be in effect until the next meeting (in
most cases, one week). Sometimes chil
dren will have difficulty in keeping their
agreements. When this happens, parents
can use logical consequences. Parents too,
of course, should honor their agreements.
Make meetings a reliable forum.
Any complaint about decisions from a
meeting should be deferred until the next
scheduled meeting. When a complaint
about a decision is made during the week,
“Bring it up at the family meeting” should
be a consistent reply. If that statement is
honored at the next meeting, family mem
bers then learn they have a reliable forum.
Address everyone’s issues. All
family members must have the opportu
nity to bring up matters important to them.
If the meetings are dominated by issues
the parents want to discuss, the children
will lose interest or not feel involved.
The leader can encourage the children’s
involvement by asking, “Who has some
thing they want to discuss?”
Some families establish an agenda
book that members sign if they wish to
bring something up at the next meeting.
After the agreements of the last meeting
are reviewed, the chairperson refers to the
first name on the list and begins the meet
ing with that person’s topic. Members
who do not get a chance to discuss their
interests can be first at the next meeting.
Family members who want to bring up
something but do not sign up can intro
duce their topics after those who did sign
up are finished, if time permits.
See Notes, con’t on next page.