Image provided by: Clackamas Community College; Oregon City, OR
About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 12, 2008)
Ls Culture Wednesday, Nov. 12, 2008 . . Clackamas Print 3 ■ : Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash The three horror icons come together for a comicbook event that could only be described as legendary Nick Kornafel The Clackamas Print The movie sequel that never was is now a graphic novel. The characters include: a child killer in a Christmas sweater who links in your dreams and kills you while you sleep, a special ed mama’s boy who has been resurrected as a seven-foot-tall machete-wielding hockey enthusiast and a middle-aged, minimum wage slave, Elvis Presley look-alike with one hand who kills evil spirits on the side. The shit has just hit the fan. Horror fans everywhere rejoice at the long awaited sequel, by writer James Kuhoric and Illustrator Jason Craig, to the hit movie “Freddy vs. Jason.” This time Ashley Williams, or Ash, from the “Evil Dead/Army of Darkness” tril ogy has entered the fray. The story opens at Camp Crystal Lake - which because of the bad history, has been renamed to “Forrest Green” - five years after Freddy and Jason exchanged fisti cuffs. Lori and Will, the couple who survived the blood bath in the movie, are doing the Dynamite Entertainment typical dumb-hor- the Wolverine y: Nate “Flying Owl" I I observe the wolverine ■ who delivers the dead ^Hike a savage valkerie FHis hunger releases these - 'Souls from their earthly bod- v^Be beastly monk of the north He adores the cold, for it - Numbs the pain of the dying He knows death like an old friend Ancihe mourns in the way of ■ A veteran in battle This soldier loves his duties Free ng the dead from the dark I And thus freeing his own heart ^■a soldier, he defends y^^Mis efforts with all his strength It is his true way of life A ¡»pointed by Jehovah His persistence goes beyond Wha any man can fathom Thamighty wolverine earns His rightful place in God’s heart As he treads through the white snow Sniffing the air for the dead He goes about his duties Respecting all the fallen ,W ror-movie-kids-thing and going back to where they thought they had defeated Freddy and Jason - seeking closure on the matter. They run into Jason Voorhees, who does w hat he does best to the both of them. Freddy Krueger is trapped in Jason’s mind and formulates a plan pf escape by convincing Jason that Freddy is his new daddy because he is now with Jason’s mother. And what “daddy” wants is for Jason to retrieve the Necronomicon, or book of the dead, so that he may use it to free himself and gain unimaginable pow er. Elsewhere in Forrest Green, they are having the grand opening of a new Super Mega Ultra S-Mart. Christmas time is just around the comer and they need to call in an expert to show the teenage employees how to run the store properly. It just happens to be Ash. The graphic novel doesn't just throw the characters together, it seamlessly melds the look and feel of all three fran chises, never making pne seem dominant for too long. The story is narrated by Ash, so it has all the horrific imagery one would expect from a Freddy or Jason movie with the sarcastic with of “Army of Darkness" peppered in to break things up. The artwork is beautifully rendered and accurately captures the look and feel of all the franchises, even going so tar as to write in the eerie back ground noise that-plays whenever Jason enters the scene. The only area that the book is lacking in is character development Because the writers had only so many issues to work with, they had little time to let the reader get to know any of the characters before they get their spines ripped out, so it’s difficult to get attached to them. Overall, “Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash” is definitely one for the horror fans and is highly entertaining. The war that ensues between these iconic characters is one of the bloodiest battle royals ever conceived, with many casualties, none of whom die painlessly. Rhapsody is a part of The Clackamas Print that gives students a place to have their creative work published. To submit a poem, short story or piece of artwork to The Clackamas Print, email it to ChiefEd@clackamas.edu, or drop it by room 135 in Roger Rook Hall. Some Rain By: Nate “Flying Owl" A dragonfly darting about An osprey scopes out the pond They’re out to get some food as well Sitting on the boat, pole in hand The sky spanning blue overhead This water is crisp and calm . Saw a couple salamanders Surface to breath in the fresh air And these fish are strong and healthy Different bait placed on the hook . I toss the line and tell my friend With a smile, “We need some rain” Homeless By: Simon Diamond Life is simplistic. Too bad for it, I am not. A demon keeps silent. His hamster wheel does doughnuts, In abandoned parking lots. Ghetto-surfing’s fun. Mutilated bus transfers, Hours of pleasure, Ninety-nine cent specials, Brown bags, scatter-spread aim. A public nuisance. Less than semi-public. Inequalities, Bear witness to logarithms, Masturbating in pay toilets. Controlled Madness, Military Intelligence, Oxymoron, S.S. Troops March in step, There once was a beetle To Barney’s theme song. named Bobbit The nerve to proclaim! Who thought his head was a Is he just a monster? socket I dare to say not. He jerked and he jiggled A monster has no feeling. Then he wriggled and wig He is still searching for it. gled Sleeps on buses, Until it came off with a Comfy cushions hurt his back, “pop-it.” Twisted positions, Pretzels pay homage to him, When drooling lifelessly... . There once was a beetle named Bobbit By: Kayla “Vinn" Berge
