The Clackamas print., March 03, 2004, Page 9, Image 9

:____Af^^mERTAINMENT
„„ 3,
T he C lackamas P rint • 9
'Sonic Heroes' scores solid zeros*
Jadon Triplett
T he C lackamas P rint
Anyone itching for a great
game by the Sega crew would be
wasting time and money by pur­
chasing “Sonic Heroes” for Play
Station 2.
“Sonic the Hedgehog” is
Sega’s flagship character, and, like
“Mario,” “Link” and “Lara
Croft,” anything with his name
on it is supposed to be good for
all ages. However, everything
about this game is just annoying.
The title screen features what
is perhaps the worst video game
music ever, and it isn’t even video
game music. It is a real band
singing about- “Sonic” in a style
of music that can only be
described as disco pop-punk.
The tutorial is horribly annoy­
ing, featuring a voice that sounds
like a girl on speed who has
inhaled copious amounts of heli­
um. The problem is that one
needs the tutorial to have a clue
how to play this thing.
After sitting through the
mind-numbingly idiotic tutorial,
players finally «rive at the first
level, featuring more prepubes-
cent, irritating, screechy character
voices. Yes, the volume could be
turned off, but while still learning
to play the game, it is necessary
to hear oral instructions as to
what on earth is supposed to be
done.
Beside the complications of
button-mashing, usually reserved
for fighting games, there is only
one real challenge to this game,
and that is running really, really
fast without falling off the side of
a cliff.
That’s it?! No real strategic
challenges, no real puzzle solv­
ing? Just run really fast and don’t
fall. Now this is all fine when it
comes to racing games, but this is
hardly a racing game.
To add to the lack-of-a-ch'al-
lenge problem, the player is given
an unlimited arnount of lives.
This only makes me yearn for the
days of 16-bit systems, where 2-
D ruled the day. Now there is a
challenge. Running really fast,
and doing it right, was actually
fun for the original “Sonic”
games.
Taking that challenge
and making it the central theme
to this game was a terrible idea,
and whoever made it so hard to
control should be taken outside
and shot. That is the only reason
there is any challenge at $11; it’s
hard to control what a character
is doing when running.
Without the anxiety caused by
limited lives, the only thing a
gamer has to worry about is the
God-forsaken controls. There
should always be more to a game
then pretty colors and button­
mashing-
This game does have one
Sonic, Tails and Knuckles run for their lives. Apparently, those Idea People at SEGA felt
that the children weren’t getting enough exercise. Thanks, Sonic, you’re a role model!
redeeming factor, and that is the
multiplayer mode. The competi­
tive edge brought on by going
head-to-head is, admittedly, kind
of fun. While it is not fun to run
really fast and fall, it is fun to race
another opponent who has to do
their best not to fall when they
run really fast. Then a person
can laugh at opponents for
falling.
Anyone yearning for good
Sega should bust out the old
Genesis and put in “Sonic” 1, 2
or 3, or better yet, “Streets of
Rage.” Don’t have a Genesis?
Goto a pawn shop and buy one
with a couple decent games, and it
won’t cost a penny more than the
price of “Sonic Heroes” for Play
Station 2.
T' H
*
1
f
■
f
I