nlhe
7
A&I
I____________ _
CI ac I camas P rint
WedNEsdAy, J anuary 50, 2002
Kung Pow: Enter the Fist’ bad cow, udder ow!
ISAIAH CREEL
flicks that have some how found
their way into my psyche. The cre
ators of the film have basically taken
out the main character from an ac
“Kung Pow: Enter the Fist,”
tual kung fu film and added then-
ox’s next big flop, hit theaters Jan.
own “Chosen One.” They have
5. Its 105 minutes combine high
also taken the liberty to dub (hilari
oses of silliness with the classic
ously poorly) their own dialogue
aper-thin plot that has grown to
over the voices of the original ac
be efine the kung fu genre.
tors.
)1- In a recent deluge of spoofs and
We find our hero at the begin
jin-offs, comedy has hit a brick
ning of his life in a simple cottage
, all of unoriginality. After the days
somewhere in what we can assume
f Mel Brooks, the Wayans broth-
is China. The evil Master Pain, aka
rs
have
recently
dominated
the
ey
Betty, catches wind of his birth and
poof scene with a string of “Scary
ne
goes to investigate. After the dis
:r- dovies” whose repetitive jokes
posal of his family at the hands of
ave spawned a legion of taste-
ssly crude humor fanatics. Even
Betty, the Chosen One takes to the
wild, where he is raised by various
oofs are being spoofed, e.g. “Not
nother Teen Movie.”
jungle rodents.
Upon his maturity, the Chosen
JO
One sets out to fulfill his destiny
"Kung
Pow"
however
is
a
spoof
n.
by destroying the evil Master
in If a different caliber. The concept
Betty. He is, however, assailed at
ft
apparently
a
take
on
a
‘
70s
film
to
every step, and I do mean every
■ailed
“
Savage
Killers,
”
which
to
at
step, by minions of Betty.
isl py dismay was unavailable at all
Tiring of his life on the road, he
ini' novie rental joints. (If you know
J'here to find it, contact The Print
seeks refuge in an abbey devoted
or
to odd behaviors loosely associ
lor a handsome reward. Mwa ha
ated with martial arts. The abbot, a
Ba!) Without having seen it
chronically ill man, allows him to
■ Jiough, all I have to go on is the
.’Bast amount of cheesy kung fu
Contributing Writer
I
5
t
enter the abbey, where the Chosen
One is to continue his training in or
der to confront the evil Master.
Insert romantic subplot here.
After discovering Betty’s weak
point, the Chosen One confronts him
in a final showdown. The end.
“Kung Pow” is a silly silly silly silly
film. Although usually I hold myself
to a higher standard of film-viewing, I
must admit that I quite literally could
not stop the laughter from bubbling
out of my mouth from the opening
credits ‘til they hauled my maniacally
laughing carcass out of the movie
theater on a stretcher.
I did get in for free though, a fact
I’m still laughing about, but I would
not recommend spending the $5 on
this or any movie, excluding “The
Lord of the Rings.”
Libra (Sept 21 - Oct. 23):
the source of annoyance. They
don’t mean evil. Do not leave
your iron plugged in while you
are gone or the carpet might bum
and turn all green. In that case,
do not paint it with a brush. Your
magic spot of the week: home
sweet home.
look closer. Not everything can
be flushed down the toilet. Re
member that for the future. Your
magic spot of the week: the bed.
as
j-
/s
îe
i-
al
æ
!y I Lquarius
. (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18):
ri |ou are having a hard time sit-
y ting still. Something is on your
;9 Blind. Let it out and tell your
Bo-workers how you really
- feel. Make sure that your
I Beater is not turned up to 95
IBegrees or you will be very hot
IBt night. Your magic spot of
| the week: the hallway.
Ilisces (Feb. 19 - March 20):
IBou will get the great chance
| to expand your horizon if you
J let things unfold as they may.
IBrust in your inner voice al-
| though it might lead you to
I strange places. Be careful not
I to fall asleep on the couch or
IBou will find your back hurt-
' ing very much. Your magic
| spot of the week: the jacuzzi
I Bries (March 21 - April 19):
IBou are acting very childish
I Biis week. If you must go gaga
I Bver a situation, then at least
I By to be polite. A strange en-
I counter will bring you a lot of
I Boney. Your plants need to be
IBatered more often. Your
IBagic spot of the week: the
greenhouse.
I I aurus (April 20 - May 20):
I fou need to express your feel-
Iings. If you don’t tell others
■hat’s bothering you, then
Bey will continue bugging
you. Practice you communica-
t on skills. Your forks might
disappear in a mysterious
II tanner. Your magic spot of the
Beek: the gas station.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21):
In order to be more productive
and be a team player, you need
to be more like a piece of tofu.
You need to learn to absorb
the colors, flavors, shapes and
attitudes of those around you.
Don’t put ice cream in the
fridge. It belongs in the freezer.
Your magic spot of the week:
The health food section.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22):
You know you need to make
an important decision. Ask
your inner self what it is that
you really want. There is a
little monkey, inside you and
there is a King Kong and they
are more than willing to work
together. Your magic spot of
the week: the zoo.
You can’t smile on the outside and
frown on the inside at the same time.
You need to make up your mind. A
friend wants to spend more time
with you. Your couch is getting old,
and people don’t find it comfort
able anymore. Your magic spot of
the week: the organic food store.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21):
Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21):
Life just doesn’t get any easier
but do not despair. You can do it.
Ignore your roommates if they are
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22):
Someone is trying to steal your
ideas. Don’t let that happen. Your
ideas belong to you unless you
sell them for a lot of money. An
ugly creature might crawl in your
bed and scare you. Have insect
spray with you all the time. Your
magic spot of the week: the sauna.
You are trying to rid yourself of
an old habit. It will be worth it.
Do not forget to call your mom
once in a while. It is impossible
to be at five different places at
the same time. Very important: do
not procrastinate. Your magic
spot of the week: the closet.
A New Dining Experience
Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22):
Miracles don’t happen around
here. If you want something to
get done, then you must take
care of it. Don’t forget that no
body is perfect. A friend will
give you a nice gift. Don’t perm
your hair too many times, it
might fall out. Your magic spot
of the week: the little corner in
your living room.
You are looking for answers. But
maybe you just keep on search
ing in the wrong spots. The an
swers are there, you just need to
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19):
Hrs: Mon.-Thurs.-7a.m.-6:30p.m.; Fri.- 7a.m.-2p.m; Sat.-8:30a.m.-10:30p.m.
Wednesdav-Budget: Baked potato bar
Special: Cuban pork chops, rice and veggie
Grill: Bleu cheese and small soup
Thursday- Budget: Spinach salad w/ a bacon vinaigrette
dressing
Special: Chicken satay w/coconut rice
Grill:
Chili burger w/cheese and fries -
Friday-
Budget: Spaghetti and side salad
Special: Meatball sub w/ provolone cheese &
bag of chips
Grill:
Monte Cristo sandwich
*
Special
Caribbean
confetti
shrimpw/
rice
$W0
3:308:00pm
XZL11
FINE HOST
CORPORATION