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About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 29, 1989)
OPINION THECLACKAMAS PRINT November 29,1989 Page 3 Quacks cover concerns of crushes, cars, condoms Editor’s Note: Neither Dr. Love nor Prof. Feelgood are trained counselors, therefore, this column is for entertainment value only. Those who have real problems should seek the help of a professional counselor or call the Personal Crisis Hotline at 655-8724. Dear Dr. Love and Prof Fed Good, When I look into my instruc tor’s tantalizing eyes, I just want to melt I’ve lost my concentra tion and just can’t seem to get rid of those butterflies in my stom ach. What do I do? LoveSick Dear Love Sick, Unfortunately we cannot condone relationships with instruc tors. A relationship between a staff member and a student should be strictly professional; however, that rarely works either. We can only suggest that you put your emo tions on hold and tiy not to melt all over the desk, the janitors have enough work as it is. As for the butterflies in your stomach take some antacid tablets; they work wonders. Dr. Love and Prof. Feel Good Dear Dr. Love and Prof Fed Good, I’m really glad this column started up because frankly I need some pretty serious help. I’m absolutely mad about this guy on campus, but the problem is the way he dresses. I, personally, am enthralled by his outrageous box ers that he wears (especially the ones with the hot pink lips splashed all over them,) but all my friends think he’s weird. My question is: Who’s weirder? Him for wearing them, or me for liking him? Hot Lips Dear Hot Lips, Judging a person by the under garments he wears, despite how different they may be, is nothing short of ludicrous. Your friends are just jealous. Unfortunately for them, not everyone has the social grace that the two of you are blessed with. As for the question of who is weirder, relax. You two are fine, although he needs to switch his pattern to-a more earthy tone for -the winter season. Remember, wearing white after Labor Day is a fashion faux pas. Dr. Love and Prof Feel Good Ask the Quacks Dubious advice from Dr. Love and Prof. Feelgood Dear Dr. Love and Prof Feel Good, Please tell me why it is that when you are traveling down the highway and you take the exit you want get off at people always lean the way they turn their cars. Do they have to scratch themselves or what? You can go a good enough speed without having to lean the way you are turning. Bob the Stud Dr. Love and Prof Feel Good, Bob the Stud, When it comes to condoms, Sounds like you have a lot of confidence just by the way you does one size realty fit all? Concerned about Condoms signed your letter. You have made an excellent observation. We in vestigated your claim and pro Concerned about Condoms, Studies show that (except in ceeded to research this matter. We traveled endless miles taking extreme cases) condoms are in exit after exit with much frustra deed “one size fits all.” However, tion at our findings. You’re right. if an unusually small object is placed People do “lean.” At one point we in a larger container, nature proves witnessed an elderly lady who that it will not remain intact If an leaned so far that her car tipped incredibly large object is forced over and was hit by a bus carrying into an object too small, this may a congregation of nuns who were be stretching the effectiveness to also leaning while turning. This a breaking point. If that is the was nota pretty sight. As foryour case, be sure and use reinforce theory ofpeoplescratching them ments or have backups ready. Dr. Love and Prof. Feel Good selves, that is a good possibility since most people find that their time behind the wheel is prime nose-picking time. The only logi Questions for "Ask the Quacks cal explanation we can offer you is can be turned in at the Student they find it to also be prime scratch Activities Office or in Trailer B north ing time. of Randall Hall. Questions should Dr. Love and Prof Feel Good be written legibly and should clearly state that they are intended for the "Ask the Quacks" column. Podunk Pete by Bob Swan Campus Views Given the situation in Eastern Europe do you think Communism will survive? Chuck Scott: The people in communist countries will continue to seek the economic and personal freedoms they see others enjoying. This pressure for change will cause the change of communism as it has been for the last thirty or forty years. Vince Fitzgerald: I think that Socialism is a legitatmate and viable government Commu nism asa more restrictive form may not survive. At present, Eastern Europe should be supported in its efforts to solidify and workable eco- nomicand philosophical sys tem. Jack Johnson: Yes, because it’s been around so long. Change cannot take place too fast. When economy is based on communism change will not be over night. Thomas A. Jordan: No, the biggest part of communism in the world is Russia and everyone will follow their hand in destroying communism.