OPINION
THE CLACKAMAS PRINT
Quacks make their debut
Editor’s Note: Neither Dr. Love Dear Dr. Love, Professer Feelgood,
nor Professor Feelgood are trained
Why do Oregon drivers tail
counselors, therefore, this column gate people with their bright lights
is for entertainment value only. Those on. Also, don’t drivers know the
who have realprob
rules of the
road. Courtesy
lems should seek the
help of a profes
dictates that
sional counselor or
Ask the Quacks
you lower your
call the Personal
beams when
Dubious advice from Dr.
Crisis Hotline at
approaching
Love and Prof. Feelgood
655-8724.
on-coming cars.
Dear Dr. Love, Professor Feelgood,
Please tell me why guys al
ways spit “goobers” on the ground.
It’s a gross habit and you have to
step around what looks like bird
doo. Why don’t they spit into a
kleenex and throw it away.
Dear Goober,
Spitting on the ground gives
men the opportunity to prove their
existence on earth as studs. Spit
ting into a Kleenex is not the answer
either, as the goober would then
get all over his hand. I think it’s all
of our duty to go up to the next
goober spitter we see, stop him,
and make a citizens arrest with a
Kleenex of your own.
self down when you find out that
the girl you like is married?
Sincerely,
Zen Phume
Dear Zen,
It looks like you have gotten
yourself in a bit of a predicament.
We find that the best way to mend
a broken heart is a swift dose of
your favorite beverage. (We won’t
mention what kind but you know
what we mean). To calm yourself
down, a frivolous night of Alf re
runs on TV will often do the trick.
However, if you are a direct per
son perhaps you should be up front
with her and express yourself.
Regardless of what happens, don’t
worry about it. There are a lot of
hot babes on this campus, set your
sights on one without a wedding
band.
Dear Highbeam,
Having someone tailgate you
with their bright lights on is proba
bly a good indication that you’re
going to slow and need to speed
up, or in the wrong lane. I’m sure
most of the drivers on the road
know the rules. Whether they
follow them or not is a different
story. Perhaps you should go out
and buy a 8x8 piece of mirror and
carry it in your car. When those
Questions for Dr. Love and
darn people forget to turn off their
brights, you can hold up your mirror Professor Feelgood can be turned
and reflect it right back at them. in at the Student Activities Office or
in Trailer B north of Randall Hall.
Dear Dr. Love and Professor Questions should be written legibly
and should clearly state that they
Feelgood,
Whatdoyoudoto calmyour- are intended for the "Ask the Quacks"
column.
November 8,1989
Page 3
Smoker wants clean,
isolated smoking area
To the editor,
I am not writing this to ex
plore the merits, or lack thereof,
of smoking. There is no point.
Non-smokers hate smoke and
smokers love it.
I am writing this to try and let
everyone know how I and my fel
low smokers feel. First and fore
most, I’m cold! I used to have a
dog named “Skipper” who had an
A-frame dog house with windows.
He had it better than I do now, if
I want to smoke.
We had a petition that asked:
Should the smokers be allowed a
place inside? There were a large
number of non-smokers who
agreed we should be indoors and
isolated. We don’t want to bother
people. We just want a dry, warm
place with tables and chairs so we
can relax a little and do our home
work. We recently had a sit-in which
was done with decorum and re
spect for others. Most of us smoke
the same way.
Non-smokers are in the ma
jority on this campus. Smokers
are a minority, but we cannot be
silent. In June of this year, smok
ers in Oregon were taxed to the
tuneof $12,860,345 in federal and
state taxes. That’s a lot of taxes
per month.
All we are asking for is one
isolated area where we can smoke
without infringing on the non-
smokers’ rights. We are approxi
mately 1/4 of the campus popula
tion and we only want about two
percent of the covered campus
area. The room we ask for should
be isolated completely from non
smoking areas. This should re
move all concern over whether or
not smoking indoors would be
detrimental to the health of non-
smokers, for no cigarette smoke
would be entering non-smoking
areas. It should also be centrally
located so that those smokers who
are handicapped or older can use
it.
When we vote, we don’t want
to look at whether we should smoke
or not; whether it is good for us or
not. We want to vote on the spe
cific point: whether or not we
should be allowed to smoke in
doors. The other day a lady asked
me, “Where does it stop?” Will
drug testing be next?
Where will the administra
tion’s control end? What line will
we cross next?
Virginia Cowan
Podunk Pete by Bob Swan
Campus Views
"What are your future career plans?"
Apology
In last week’s "From the
editor" column it was strongly
implied that the Enterprise
Courier had stolen a quote from
the Clackamas Print concern
ing the death of basketball
player Raymond Bell. This was
not the case.
David Clark: I am planning a
future in the field of word
processing. Until that time I
will study at Clackamas and
then on to USC.
James M. Williams: I would
like to be a counselor be
cause I feel that I could help
troubled kids by showing
them that everyone is equal.
Deni Gardner: My future,
career plans are to get my
Bachelor’s degree in music; I
am working on music com
position and would like to
perform (singing) profession
ally.
Text and photos compiled by Jillian Porter
Heidi A. Stardig: I’m out to
get my Master’s in account
ing and have a strong back
ground in psychology. As a
CPA, I’ll have the opportu
nity to make over $50,000 a
year. With a background in
psych I’ll have a better un
derstanding of myself and oth
ers.
The comments about the
Courier were made with bad
judgement and the Print would
like to apologize to the Cou
rier. It was a mistake to word
the article so that the Courier
was implicated as having sto
len the quote.
We are very sorry...