OPINION THE CLACKAMAS PRINT Quacks make their debut Editor’s Note: Neither Dr. Love Dear Dr. Love, Professer Feelgood, nor Professor Feelgood are trained Why do Oregon drivers tail­ counselors, therefore, this column gate people with their bright lights is for entertainment value only. Those on. Also, don’t drivers know the who have realprob­ rules of the road. Courtesy lems should seek the help of a profes­ dictates that sional counselor or Ask the Quacks you lower your call the Personal beams when Dubious advice from Dr. Crisis Hotline at approaching Love and Prof. Feelgood 655-8724. on-coming cars. Dear Dr. Love, Professor Feelgood, Please tell me why guys al­ ways spit “goobers” on the ground. It’s a gross habit and you have to step around what looks like bird doo. Why don’t they spit into a kleenex and throw it away. Dear Goober, Spitting on the ground gives men the opportunity to prove their existence on earth as studs. Spit­ ting into a Kleenex is not the answer either, as the goober would then get all over his hand. I think it’s all of our duty to go up to the next goober spitter we see, stop him, and make a citizens arrest with a Kleenex of your own. self down when you find out that the girl you like is married? Sincerely, Zen Phume Dear Zen, It looks like you have gotten yourself in a bit of a predicament. We find that the best way to mend a broken heart is a swift dose of your favorite beverage. (We won’t mention what kind but you know what we mean). To calm yourself down, a frivolous night of Alf re­ runs on TV will often do the trick. However, if you are a direct per­ son perhaps you should be up front with her and express yourself. Regardless of what happens, don’t worry about it. There are a lot of hot babes on this campus, set your sights on one without a wedding band. Dear Highbeam, Having someone tailgate you with their bright lights on is proba­ bly a good indication that you’re going to slow and need to speed up, or in the wrong lane. I’m sure most of the drivers on the road know the rules. Whether they follow them or not is a different story. Perhaps you should go out and buy a 8x8 piece of mirror and carry it in your car. When those Questions for Dr. Love and darn people forget to turn off their brights, you can hold up your mirror Professor Feelgood can be turned and reflect it right back at them. in at the Student Activities Office or in Trailer B north of Randall Hall. Dear Dr. Love and Professor Questions should be written legibly and should clearly state that they Feelgood, Whatdoyoudoto calmyour- are intended for the "Ask the Quacks" column. November 8,1989 Page 3 Smoker wants clean, isolated smoking area To the editor, I am not writing this to ex­ plore the merits, or lack thereof, of smoking. There is no point. Non-smokers hate smoke and smokers love it. I am writing this to try and let everyone know how I and my fel­ low smokers feel. First and fore­ most, I’m cold! I used to have a dog named “Skipper” who had an A-frame dog house with windows. He had it better than I do now, if I want to smoke. We had a petition that asked: Should the smokers be allowed a place inside? There were a large number of non-smokers who agreed we should be indoors and isolated. We don’t want to bother people. We just want a dry, warm place with tables and chairs so we can relax a little and do our home­ work. We recently had a sit-in which was done with decorum and re­ spect for others. Most of us smoke the same way. Non-smokers are in the ma­ jority on this campus. Smokers are a minority, but we cannot be silent. In June of this year, smok­ ers in Oregon were taxed to the tuneof $12,860,345 in federal and state taxes. That’s a lot of taxes per month. All we are asking for is one isolated area where we can smoke without infringing on the non- smokers’ rights. We are approxi­ mately 1/4 of the campus popula­ tion and we only want about two percent of the covered campus area. The room we ask for should be isolated completely from non­ smoking areas. This should re­ move all concern over whether or not smoking indoors would be detrimental to the health of non- smokers, for no cigarette smoke would be entering non-smoking areas. It should also be centrally located so that those smokers who are handicapped or older can use it. When we vote, we don’t want to look at whether we should smoke or not; whether it is good for us or not. We want to vote on the spe­ cific point: whether or not we should be allowed to smoke in­ doors. The other day a lady asked me, “Where does it stop?” Will drug testing be next? Where will the administra­ tion’s control end? What line will we cross next? Virginia Cowan Podunk Pete by Bob Swan Campus Views "What are your future career plans?" Apology In last week’s "From the editor" column it was strongly implied that the Enterprise Courier had stolen a quote from the Clackamas Print concern­ ing the death of basketball player Raymond Bell. This was not the case. David Clark: I am planning a future in the field of word processing. Until that time I will study at Clackamas and then on to USC. James M. Williams: I would like to be a counselor be­ cause I feel that I could help troubled kids by showing them that everyone is equal. Deni Gardner: My future, career plans are to get my Bachelor’s degree in music; I am working on music com­ position and would like to perform (singing) profession­ ally. Text and photos compiled by Jillian Porter Heidi A. Stardig: I’m out to get my Master’s in account­ ing and have a strong back­ ground in psychology. As a CPA, I’ll have the opportu­ nity to make over $50,000 a year. With a background in psych I’ll have a better un­ derstanding of myself and oth­ ers. The comments about the Courier were made with bad judgement and the Print would like to apologize to the Cou­ rier. It was a mistake to word the article so that the Courier was implicated as having sto­ len the quote. We are very sorry...