Image provided by: Clackamas Community College; Oregon City, OR
About The print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1977-1989 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 2, 1987)
“Apache” With over 3700 horse power at the ready, you sit hovering behind a stand of trees waiting for that right moment With your rotors set in "Whisper Mode" sur prise is guaranteed. You check the TARGET ACQUISITION & . DESIGNATION SYSTEM (TADS) to see how close the enemy is ap proaching. Adjusting your IHADSS (Integrated Helmet and Display Sighting Sub-System) helmet so that the monocle is directly over your right eye, you scan side to side so the infra-rfed diode sensors will pick up everything coming your way. The TADS computer "knows" which way you are looking and in structs the TV camera, laser, FUR optics and CHAIN GUN to point in that direction. Without having to move your steering hand,.you arm your AGM-114A HELLFIRE ANTI-TANK MISSILES and check the status of your 2.75 inch FOLDING FIN AERIAL ROCKETS (FFAR). With the targets nearing the strike point, you quickly scan your instru ment panel. Checking your altimeter, fuel gauges, rotor and engine RPM's and status lights, you flip the INFRA RED (IR) and RADAR jamming switches and start your attack. You ascend above the tree line and let go the HELLFIRE missiles, which are locked onto the un suspecting enemy targets. There is nowhere they can hide from the laser-homing missile with the HEAT armor-piercing warheads. The missiles collapse the enemy tanks' armor like\ an invisible giant stepping on an egg. The FFAR rockets light up the air in front of your airship and you follow their contrail as they scream their way to the un suspecting targets below. The effect on the receiving end of the volley is like being in an earthquake, with deadly metal fragments filling the air. The shock effect alone is enough to knock down men and equip ment that have been near miss ed. You press your thumb against the fire button along side your steering arm and the 30mm CHAIN GUN rattles off the HE DP (High Explosive Dual Pur pose) rounds towards those targets that have survived. The bullets are leaving your airship at a rate of over 625 rounds a minute, and it's hard to distinguish an individual blast The CHAIN GUN rumbles like an outboard motor as the rounds find their fleeing targets on the ground. As the enemy runs in all directions to escape your onslaught, it's no problem for you to follow them with IHADSS helmet and TADS computer system. Merely look ing in their direction ensures a’ perfect hit as the CHAIN GUN follows your path of sight. The rounds explode on contact so it doesn't matter if you are a few inches off when firing. It's over in just a few seconds and you have effectively destroyed every "hard" or "soft" enemy target within striking range. Your infra-red. ground sensors tell you if anything is alive below you. Seeing that there are no longer any retaliatory objectives left in existence, you disarm your attack mode and set your Inertial Naviga tion System (INS) for the nearest landing zone. Flying home you experience the gratification of knowing you have done a good job. This is what it is like to be the pilot of an AH-A4A APACHE gunship in combat. With the world situation what it is today, it is a great comfort to know that such a fantastic piece of equipment is available only to us Americans. Unfortunately, our country's leaders have decided that we should take a profile of nonparticipation when it comes to combat scenarios throughout the world. This neutrality syndrome has caus ed a bloat in the military supp ly system. We now have more weapons than we have wars. This means you can benefit from this inequity, in that our government is giving you, the American citizen, the chance to have your very own APACHE helicopter gunship. Think of it, no longer will you have to worry about traf fic jams, being late for an ap pointment or being in timidated by some unkown threat. In your APACHE you will have two, not one, but two turboshaft jet engines. Imagine having a vehicle that produces over 3700 horsepower and can travel in excess of 224 miles per hour. No more obnoxious sportscar drivers cutting you off on the freeway. No more teenage drivers to worry about or traffic jams to ruin your day. Police radar means nothing to an APACHE owner as your vehicle is equipped with an anti-radar jamming device; it will foil any attempts to get a reading on your driving speed. Even if you are being followed by a "Bear in the Sky," just push a button and your APACHE will release a can- nister of metal chaff which will fool any electronic detection device. Picture1 yourself in a sleek aerodynamically shaped APACHE slipping over those poor souls in the morning traffic tie-ups. By putting your APACHE in "Whisper Mode," you can listen to your favorite radio sta tion without any outside in-. terference. The APACHE comes, stocked with air conditioning and tinted windows so that mor ning sun will never be a problem. For you who work on a rotating schedule, the APACHE's infra-red scanning system allows you to see in the dark without any lights. Merely set your INS to the location of your place of employment and the automatic system will guide you there without a map. No traffic signals or street signs to look for. No glaring, blinding lights from discourteous oncoming drivers. And there is never a worry about inclement weather as your APACHE is fully armored to pro tect you. No sportscar owner can compete with your two seater APACHE. Along with being a great work vehicle, your APACHE can be a great asset at home. For garden ing there is no piece of farming equipment like an APACHE. The 30mm CHAIN GUN, using ex ploding rounds, can till a section of ground so well that you can plant potatoes after only one pass. Pesky pests like crows, gophers, or moles will never be a problem for an APACHE owner. Just drop your monocle down on your IHADSS helmet (which comes with every APACHE pur chase) and focus on the target of your choice. Your TADS com puter will aim your guns to follow the path of the intruder. A quick push on the fire button and "no more birdie." Moles and gophers can't escape the infra red scanners as they're effective down to 6 feet and the FFAR rockets can penetrate and destroy even deeper. The FFAR rockets come 7 or 19 to the pod, depending on your personal needs. Leaf mites, bugs, and caterpillers are a cinch to get to, as your APACHE has a ceiling range of over 20,000 feet. Just hover over those fruit trees and spray to your heart's content Besides your everyday uses for your APACHE, it is the perfect by Sam Pendergrass If you have enjoyed the look of Rhapsody, then join in and submit your talents. Rhapsody is YOU. Without you, there isn't a Rhapsody. Bring poems, short stories and essays to trailer B, "The Print". Editor & Designer vehicle for the outdoors minded enthusiast You have a terrific range of travel, with your 375 ‘gallon fuel tank capacity, allow ing you access to places that just weren't possible to car owners. Never worry about accommoda tions or if there will be a camping spot when you get there. With your APACHE you go when and where you wish. If, when you get there, you find that special spot covered in lush forest or rough debris, just arm one of your HELLFIRE laser missiles and pick the place you want to land. The HELLFIRE will accurately strike and obliterate any area with its high explosive warhead making it clear of any obstacles. Why you can even start the campfire before landing by merely dropp ing a decoy flare from the under carriage. And there you are, ins tant camping ground for you and your family. And your APACHE can carry over 5 tons of material so there will never be a problem of not having enough supplies to last through a vacation. Think of the savings you will have by not buying extra food and supplies while traveling. And especially think of how safe you will feel knowing that your fully armed APACHE is there if you need it against any kind of predator. Now initially the APACHE cost over 7.3 million dollars each to manufacture. But because of the supply and de mand decrease placed on HUGHES HELICOPTER INC., they have been drastically reduced. With nary a war zone to supply they are virtually a steal to anyone who wishes the luxury of owning their very own gunship. Don't be left out in the cold war of competition when it comes to owning your own APACHE. There are plenty of com petitors out there who will tell you that their product has more to offer than the AH- A4A. Especially that the foreign competition with their MI-24 "HIND" ATTACK HELICOPTER. Although this Soviet built vehicle can ac commodate three people, its excessive weight does not af ford the better gas mileage of our APACHE. True, it also has two engines, heavier armor, and a greater payload, but it's a real "Bear" when it comes to sleek design and turning capabilities. Our APACHE can fly circles around it, and besides, for an additional small fee you can have a set of SIDEWINDER air to air missiles installed. The SIDEWINDER will easily adapt to the TADS system on your APACHE and can seek out land destroy a HIND over 2 miles away. That's something our competiton can't brag about. So be first on your block to own an APACHE from HUGHES AIRCRAFT INC. With the competition just around the cner, "DON'T BE CAUGHT AWAY FROM HOME WITH OUT ONEI"