Monologue Southpaws endure prejudices that exist in right hand world By Rodney Fobert Let us take, for example, the common desk here at the College. It is designed so that a right-handed person can rest In this world which seems to be dominated by right his arm on the table-top while, handers, us unfortunate left writing. The left-hander does handers have been forced to not have this luxury. While sit adapt to their strange ways. ting at his desk writing, the Don’t get me wrong, I don’t left-hander’s arm hangs over Able to feel inferior or ashamed to be the edge of the desk with Rtlcdc left-handed. I just feel that us nothing but air with which to rest it on. southpaws have been neglected and taken for While we’re on the subject granted. I doubt if right of writing, let’s takena closer handers realize that many look at the spiral notebook. everyday objects were design The right-handed person would find no problem keep ed purposely to make life more ing notes in a wire-bound, difficult for those of us who spiral notebook, are left-handed. Us southpaws know better. As the left-hander moves “'N across the page when writing in such a notebook, the hand By Fritz Wenzel and forearm drag across the thin wires, making the job dif ficult at best. The way I have Mountain ranges. found to remedy this problem In the last quarter-inch of my big toe, apes is to start writing from the got up off their arms and started carrying back of the notebook and groceries in front. The shopping cart could not work toward the front. be long in coming. Soon you and I appear in Also on the left-handers less distance than I filed away from my toenail night before last. I can’t help thinking that hate list is the common object known as scissors. It takes since so much happened in the last half-inch of even the most skilled my shoe, we are all pretty darn lucky that I’m southpaw many years to make not a size lO'/i instead. LIFE IN THE (TOO) FAST LANE: An :+ English instructor recently gave his class an assignment to describe a life crisis in 500 words. He reported back that 80 percent of the papers turned out to be car accident descriptions. Is somebody misunderstanding the phrase “crashing a party?” Sports Editor Community Corner WALKING FAST: Imagine stepping into the days when jtawless fish swam the seas, or being there on the spot to witness the uplift of the great Rocky Mountains. No, I don’t have a travel agent who drinks excessively, and I haven’t been following Stephen Spielberg around as he hunts for movie ideas. I have discovered the geological time courtyard over at the Pauling Center, though, and the 15 minutes I spent, there were fascinating. Right away I could tell that I would have to think big. The courtyard is laid out so that every two feet a brick marks 100 million years, and you’re suppossed to start right at the begin ning of Earth (think real big, now) and walk toward the present-day tile. It will take you eight tiles just to reach the spot where the first rock was found, but don’t stumble and stop there, because, according to geology instructor Snively’s handout on the subject you’re just halfway through history to the point where life begins. Since the at mosphere is toxic at these early tiles, you should probably be holding your breath. (Now he tells me, you say). When you’ve crossed 15 tiles you’ll come upon the momentous occassion of the Birth of Life in the form of blue-green algae. The theory of evolution just swells you with pride, doesn’t it? All those things that happened in the early tiles are nice, but there is something missing. They don’t reach out and grab you. I mean, standing around at tile No. 27 waiting for fossils to form rates slightly lower than wat ching “Charlie’s Angels.” At tile No. 40, the handout says that evolutionary radiation has begun. (Not long after that the trilobites started organizing the first anti-nuke movement.) Lacking time, I strode over millions of years to the “present-day” tile. My size 11 Nikes were resting right on the leading edge of history as I noted recent geological happenings: From where I stood, my foot’s arch marked a time when the Pacific Northwest was being covered by 60,000 cubic miles of basalt, producing the Columbia Plateau. The ball of my foot marked ’ 'the beginning of the Coast, Cascade and Blue Clackamas Community College right-handed scissors work in the left hand. In my early days of schooling, when the right handers could cut things out neatly along the lines, my pro jects always looked like they had been chewed out of the paper. This bias against left handers can also be found in the entertainment business. Any left-hander who has pick ed up a guitar knows this to be true. Guitars were designed to be played by right-handers. In order for a southpaw to play such an instrument, he must either learn to play it right- handed, switch all the strings around and play left-handed or else just learn how to play the guitar upside down. Is all this descrimination against the left-hander? Should us southpaws sue for our rights? No, us left-handers must have pity on the poor right-handed people of the world, for it has been said that it is the right side of the brain which controls the left side of the body. Therefore, us left-handers are the only people in our right minds. Want to know what’s happening on campus? ON A ROLL: Shawnee Christensen, the new president of ASG told me last week the pool tables in the Community Center have to be recovered every term. Having had a table myself for years and not ever needing to recover it, I guess you can tell that I’m more of a table tennis man myself. Sccftt Hermo, who works in the center where the billiards are played, said a new covering makes the ball roll easier and truer, which I guess is good for most people. As for me, all those snags and taped-up tears in a table is what I count on to help me out. Those guys would probably force me to put my sweating Pepsi on a coaster, too. By the way, Hermo said there are “quite a few” people signed up to participate in the na tional billiards contest this month. The winner will go to the University of Washington in Seat tle to compete in a regional tournament, all ex penses-paid. WHAT YOU'RE MISSING: Dr. Linus Paul ing, who is famous for his theory about the value of vitamin C and after whom our science cener is named, would be proud of the figures portrayed in Pat Baird’s artistic effort to bring the Renaissance masters work back into a popular state. You can see the drawings in the Pauling Center until the end of January. Stop by Trailer B and get the facts first-hand by becoming a Print reporter. Call Ext. 309 and ask for Shelley Ball. THE PRINT, a member of the Oregon Newspaper Publishers Associa tion, aims to be a fair and impartial journalistic medium covering the campus community as thoroughly as possible. Opinions expressed in THE PRINT do not necessarily reflect those of the College administra tion, faculty, Associated Student Government or other members of THE PRINT. THE PRINT is a weekly publication distributed each Wednesday except for'finals week. Clackamas Community College, 19600 S. Molalla Avenue, Oregon City, Oregon 97045. Office: Trailer B; telephone: 657-8400, ext. 309,. 310 Editor In Chief: Shelley Ball News Editor: Fritz Wenzel Arts Editor: D. Dietrich Sports Editor: Rodney Fobert Copy Editor: Fritz Wenzel Photo Editor: Joel Miller Advertising Manager: Jack Griffith Cartoonist: Richard Byington Advertising Representative: Richard Byington Staff Writers: Shelley Davis, J. Jason, Amy LaBare, Julie Miller, Heather Wright Staff Photographers: Rodney Fobert, Jeff Meek, Mike Templeton, Daniel Wheeler Typesetter: Diana Blakley Advisor: Dana Spieimann Page 2