Monologue
Southpaws endure prejudices
that exist in right hand world
By Rodney Fobert
Let us take, for example,
the common desk here at the
College. It is designed so that a
right-handed person can rest
In this world which seems to
be dominated by right­
his arm on the table-top while,
handers, us unfortunate left­ writing. The left-hander does
handers have been forced to
not have this luxury. While sit­
adapt to their strange ways.
ting at his desk writing, the
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t
left-hander’s arm hangs over
Able to
feel inferior or ashamed to be
the edge of the desk with
Rtlcdc
left-handed. I just feel that us
nothing but air with which to
rest it on.
southpaws
have
been
neglected and taken for
While we’re on the subject
granted. I doubt if right­ of writing, let’s takena closer
handers realize that many
look at the spiral notebook.
everyday objects were design­ The right-handed person
would find no problem keep­
ed purposely to make life more
ing notes in a wire-bound,
difficult for those of us who
spiral
notebook,
are left-handed.
Us
southpaws know better.
As the left-hander moves
“'N
across the page when writing
in such a notebook, the hand
By Fritz Wenzel and forearm drag across the
thin wires, making the job dif­
ficult at best. The way I have
Mountain ranges.
found to remedy this problem
In the last quarter-inch of my big toe, apes
is to start writing from the
got up off their arms and started carrying
back of the notebook and
groceries in front. The shopping cart could not
work toward the front.
be long in coming. Soon you and I appear in
Also on the left-handers
less distance than I filed away from my toenail
night before last. I can’t help thinking that hate list is the common object
known as scissors. It takes
since so much happened in the last half-inch of
even the most skilled
my shoe, we are all pretty darn lucky that I’m
southpaw many years to make
not a size lO'/i instead.
LIFE IN THE (TOO) FAST LANE: An
:+
English instructor recently gave his class an
assignment to describe a life crisis in 500 words.
He reported back that 80 percent of the papers
turned out to be car accident descriptions. Is
somebody misunderstanding the phrase
“crashing a party?”
Sports Editor
Community Corner
WALKING FAST: Imagine stepping into the
days when jtawless fish swam the seas, or being
there on the spot to witness the uplift of the
great Rocky Mountains. No, I don’t have a
travel agent who drinks excessively, and I
haven’t been following Stephen Spielberg
around as he hunts for movie ideas. I have
discovered the geological time courtyard over at
the Pauling Center, though, and the 15 minutes
I spent, there were fascinating.
Right away I could tell that I would have to
think big. The courtyard is laid out so that
every two feet a brick marks 100 million years,
and you’re suppossed to start right at the begin­
ning of Earth (think real big, now) and walk
toward the present-day tile.
It will take you eight tiles just to reach the
spot where the first rock was found, but don’t
stumble and stop there, because, according to
geology instructor Snively’s handout on the
subject you’re just halfway through history to
the point where life begins. Since the at­
mosphere is toxic at these early tiles, you should
probably be holding your breath. (Now he tells
me, you say). When you’ve crossed 15 tiles
you’ll come upon the momentous occassion of
the Birth of Life in the form of blue-green
algae. The theory of evolution just swells you
with pride, doesn’t it?
All those things that happened in the early
tiles are nice, but there is something missing.
They don’t reach out and grab you. I mean,
standing around at tile No. 27 waiting for
fossils to form rates slightly lower than wat­
ching “Charlie’s Angels.” At tile No. 40, the
handout says that evolutionary radiation has
begun. (Not long after that the trilobites started
organizing the first anti-nuke movement.)
Lacking time, I strode over millions of years
to the “present-day” tile. My size 11 Nikes
were resting right on the leading edge of history
as I noted recent geological happenings: From
where I stood, my foot’s arch marked a time
when the Pacific Northwest was being covered
by 60,000 cubic miles of basalt, producing the
Columbia Plateau. The ball of my foot marked ’
'the beginning of the Coast, Cascade and Blue
Clackamas Community College
right-handed scissors work in
the left hand. In my early days
of schooling, when the right­
handers could cut things out
neatly along the lines, my pro­
jects always looked like they
had been chewed out of the
paper.
This bias against left­
handers can also be found in
the entertainment business.
Any left-hander who has pick­
ed up a guitar knows this to be
true. Guitars were designed to
be played by right-handers. In
order for a southpaw to play
such an instrument, he must
either learn to play it right-
handed, switch all the strings
around and play left-handed
or else just learn how to play
the guitar upside down.
Is all this descrimination
against the left-hander?
Should us southpaws sue for
our rights? No, us left-handers
must have pity on the poor
right-handed people of the
world, for it has been said that
it is the right side of the brain
which controls the left side of
the body.
Therefore, us left-handers
are the only people in our right
minds.
Want to know what’s happening on
campus?
ON A ROLL: Shawnee Christensen, the new
president of ASG told me last week the pool
tables in the Community Center have to be
recovered every term. Having had a table
myself for years and not ever needing to recover
it, I guess you can tell that I’m more of a table
tennis man myself.
Sccftt Hermo, who works in the center where
the billiards are played, said a new covering
makes the ball roll easier and truer, which I
guess is good for most people. As for me, all
those snags and taped-up tears in a table is what
I count on to help me out. Those guys would
probably force me to put my sweating Pepsi on
a coaster, too.
By the way, Hermo said there are “quite a
few” people signed up to participate in the na­
tional billiards contest this month. The winner
will go to the University of Washington in Seat­
tle to compete in a regional tournament, all ex­
penses-paid.
WHAT YOU'RE MISSING: Dr. Linus Paul­
ing, who is famous for his theory about the
value of vitamin C and after whom our science
cener is named, would be proud of the figures
portrayed in Pat Baird’s artistic effort to bring
the Renaissance masters work back into a
popular state. You can see the drawings in the
Pauling Center until the end of January.
Stop by Trailer B and get the facts first-hand
by becoming a Print reporter.
Call Ext. 309 and ask for Shelley Ball.
THE PRINT, a member of the Oregon Newspaper Publishers Associa­
tion, aims to be a fair and impartial journalistic medium covering the
campus community as thoroughly as possible. Opinions expressed in
THE PRINT do not necessarily reflect those of the College administra­
tion, faculty, Associated Student Government or other members of THE
PRINT. THE PRINT is a weekly publication distributed each Wednesday
except for'finals week. Clackamas Community College, 19600 S. Molalla
Avenue, Oregon City, Oregon 97045.
Office: Trailer B; telephone: 657-8400, ext. 309,. 310
Editor In Chief: Shelley Ball
News Editor: Fritz Wenzel
Arts Editor: D. Dietrich
Sports Editor: Rodney Fobert
Copy Editor: Fritz Wenzel
Photo Editor: Joel Miller
Advertising Manager: Jack Griffith
Cartoonist: Richard Byington
Advertising Representative: Richard Byington
Staff Writers: Shelley Davis, J. Jason,
Amy LaBare, Julie Miller, Heather Wright
Staff Photographers: Rodney Fobert, Jeff Meek,
Mike Templeton, Daniel Wheeler
Typesetter: Diana Blakley
Advisor: Dana Spieimann
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