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About Vernonia's voice. (Vernonia, OR) 2007-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 6, 2014)
14 in other words november6 2014 God is My Co-Pruner (Garden Time in Vernonia): Clan Cervidae By Tom Coughlin recognized the challenges to making things grow in our shady, cool, bowl-within-a-bowl in the woods. Espe- cially things you want to eat. We’d bought a little place on a beautiful park- like acre, a stream cutting through it, several garden beds already established. One thing making it park-like was the trees ringing it on three sides. Wonderful to look at, we somehow didn’t factor them into doing tree things like growing taller and casting more and more attractively dappled shade on everything we’d try to grow. Eventually there’d be no place on the property that got more than six and a half hours of direct sun- light a day. Years later, at a Master Gardener’s Spring Sale, I overheard a conversation between one of the volunteers and a guy with a flat of tomato plants that led me to a realization. leaves). And while I’ve read that yellow startles cows, Now that the fall harvest is here, it’s time to it doesn’t seem to much bother deer. Our main vegeta- look back on the fun we’ve had trying to grow things in ble garden is surrounded by a simple four-foot fence. Vernonia. Over the next several months, Tom Coughlin Most authorities recommend twice that height, and yet will be sharing some of the trials and tribulations in the 16 years we’ve gardened here, deer have gotten he’s experienced in his attempts to garden in the into it only three times; twice because I’d forgotten to Upper Nehalem Valley, in this sometimes humorous, close the gate. The only time the fence has been leapt, sometimes sad-but-true, monthly column. though, we had a yellow rope stretched along the top as per old timey instructions. I took it down and it’s never About three years into living here, I surprised happened since, though the rest of our yard has been myself with my reaction to something I read in a regularly ravaged. Conclusive proof that a deer cannot Ruralite. Some guy’s huge garden had been devastated jump a four-foot fence unless it has a yellow rope over by deer at the end of summer. They’d eaten just about it! everything good, all the stuff he’d had his eye on for We tried blood meal, but it seemed to attract months. Angry, the guy shot one. He let its carcass coyotes. Laying chicken wire on the ground did seem ripen a couple days, then chained it to his tractor to be a barrier, as long as they couldn’t walk (hopefully a John Deere, but I honestly don’t around or jump across it, but it was a pain to move He raised an eyebrow and brought remember) so he could drag it and its stench when I had to mow. Never did try cougar urine, a around the perimeter of his property. Round and paintball gun, or a pit with stakes. his knuckles to his lips. round he went until the deer was all chunks and Besides our magic four-foot fence, there are “You don’t---live in Vernonia, do you?” he was all smiles. two things that work so well that I wish I’d come A few years prior, I would’ve thought that across them a decade ago. One is a motion sensor response was pretty over-the-top, if not outright crazy “No, don’t worry. Tomatoes are actually fairly hooked to an impact sprinkler that goes off for several and gross. The first couple dozen times deer visited our easy to grow,” the volunteer assured the guy. seconds should a deer (or a party guest) walk within its mill shack yard, we’d call each other to the window in He explained their simple nutritional needs, range. “Scarecrow” is the most common brand. It’s like naïve delight. “Oh, look---little babies, too! Spots and how it was best to water them regularly but not over- having someone stand in your yard around the clock everything.” We’d shush each other so’s not to frighten head, and was all sunshine and botanical encourage- ready to scare away anything larger than a cat with a them away. Like a bunch of angels had just winged in. ment for several minutes before a cloud crossed his hose. Works great, but it can only cover so large an How I’d changed. Reading about this guy face. area, so you might need more than one, and at $80 each, dragging a dead one around by a chain like Achilles He had a pained expression, like he’d really that can get spendy. Also, you can’t use it in freezing defiling Hector’s corpse behind his chariot, I laughed. I like to seal the deal by raving about how much more weather, because the plastic parts will heave and break, thought it was brilliant and just and hilarious. I pictured delicious homegrown tomatoes were, but was afraid he so it’s not much protection early and late in the season. the lip-curled, appalled looks on their stupid deer faces might’ve already spoken too soon. He raised an eye- A simpler and probably more effective ap- as they encountered the stink fence their comrade’d be- brow and brought his knuckles to his lips. proach is to use a sprayable barrier like Liquid Fence. come and laughed out loud because, in the intervening “You don’t---live in Vernonia, do you?” It’s available at both hardware stores, and I would give years, I’d been trying to garden in Vernonia. Turns out the guy didn’t, so the encouragement up on gardening here without it. A deer might take one I’d dabbled at growing things previously, but continued. But I did and it dawned on me: Dumbass, exploratory chomp out of something, but this stuff will for me, like a lot of people, it was the experience of you’ve bought a shady lot in Vernonia. turn their favorite feast into something they’ll ignore. homeownership that got me serious about it. Too bad, I’ll try to complain more about the lack of light It’s made from putrescent eggs, garlic, and soap, so because if I had been more earnest earlier, I might’ve later, but back to dappled deer. It seems ungrateful to why in the world wouldn’t it? It does need to dry for say it, but most of the advice I’ve about three hours to be effective for long, but then it’s gotten concerning them has been good for a solid two weeks. baloney. Two things in particular That dry time hasn’t been a problem this fan- not to waste your time on are Irish tastically warm and dry growing season, but some Spring and yellow rope. Suppos- years a three-hour window of dryness can be hard to edly, there’s something about the find. Also, you can’t spray it directly on anything you manly smell of Irish Spring that expect to eat, so you have to plan around that (by spray- deer don’t like, too. Kinda makes ing the leaves, say, and not the fruit, or by putting your sense since it does have a strong, lettuce behind enchanted four-foot fencing). It’s been a clearly artificial fragrance and yet game changer. somewhere I have a photo of a So much so that I’ve since come back to enjoy- crude tiny scale Stonehenge rep- ing seeing deer in the yard. Even so, I recently came lica I once made of Irish Spring across something in a history book I can’t pretend not bars around a previously robust to understand. It seems frustration with deer goes back columbine---which deer had a long time in the United States---back before it was since reduced to a thin, sad ro- even called that. sette (Columbine, along with tu- It seems that the Wampanoag Indian Squanto lips, are on many Deer Resistant also had rageful feelings about Clan Cervidae. Seems Plant Lists, and that’s true as long Squanto met with leaders of the early settlers and, tak- as you’re growing the former ing pity on their hungry looks, gave this brief tutorial for its roots and the latter for its on feeding yourself in The New World: “First, clear soil equal to three blan- kets. In the center---” the old peacemaker pointed tenderly at the ground with his pipe- stem--- “of that, place a large fish and atop Titus & Son’s, Inc. that fish build a mound of soil. In that mound, plant the Sisters Corn, Squash, and Bean. Four Serving Your Communty Since 1987 seeds of each.” “Why four?” they asked. “Ah,” said Squanto and drew on his pipe. “One for the Worm, one for the Crow. One to rot and one to grow.” The leaders nodded thoughtfully as 503-429-6364 • 834 Bridge Street • 9 AM - 6 PM • Squanto took another long pull. 55670 Timber Road www.MastercraftTireRebate.com I’ll switch to the language of the Vernonia, OR 97064 original account because it so vividly captures CCB# 55056 the moment: Of a sudden, Squanto raised his face, and amazed were we all by the transforma- General Contractor tion. Now on his feet, stabbed he wildly with Dan Titus his pipe about---a sudden angry eye on every Owner shrub and tree---and avowed, “Oh, and about Ph. (503) 429-5005 a hundred more for the f#@%ing deer!” Vernonia True Value
