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About Vernonia's voice. (Vernonia, OR) 2007-current | View Entire Issue (March 6, 2014)
14 in other words march6 2014 Better Parenting: Eyes on Bullying... What Can You Do? By Sonia Spackman MA, MFT stepping in to help. Bullying is a problem nationwide, and if you think it is not happening in our own community, all you need to do is have a conversation with one of our school-aged children. Bullying can happen anywhere children gather. With greater understanding of the extent and seriousness of this problem the amount of bullying can be greatly reduced. The Vernonia School District is planning on a district wide program for the schools. A program called Eyes on Bullying where much of this article is from, is dedicated to help you understand bullying in a new way as well as providing simple, clear skills and strategies kids, parents or any adult can do immediately. Once we understand how our actions or inactions can either prevent or escalate bullying behaviors we will have new confidence to deal with the bullying. I will not go into the devastating stories of bullying that have made the news headlines lately. What I want is for us to help create a bully-free environment here in our own community. And I hope we start now. EYE OPENER: In a follow-up study of boys in grades 6 through 9, bullies were found to be 4 times more likely than their non-bullying peers to be convicted of at least one crime by the age of 24. Surprisingly, 60% of these former bullies had committed at least one crime, 35% had committed 3 or more crimes. EYE OPENER: Each day, 160,000 children in the United States stay home from school for fear of being bullied. EYE OPENER: More than one-half the time the bullying stops within 10 seconds of a bystander • Ask for help if you feel angry. Victims reward the bully by giving in and showing signs of fear. They hope to gain support from bystanders when they do nothing and do not report the bullying. However, victims can learn to stop the bully by standing up and asking for support from bystanders and reporting the bullying to an adult. • Get help from a trusting adult. Report the bullying. • Tell him you feel bad about what happened. Offer to go tell an adult with him. • Include the bullying victim in activities with you and others and be a friend. If parents and adults give kids who are being bullied ideas and things they can try in order to take action Some things you can tell victims… they will help them feel less stress and • You are not to blame for being bullied. more confidence to do something about It’s not your fault. bullying. • Don’t give in to bullies, try not to get upset, or fight back. “Lasting change requires the • Stay calm and tell them to stop it. creation of an environment where • Sometimes it is best just to walk away. everyone understands that bullying • Get help from a trusted adult to help is unacceptable, harmful, and you the next time bullying happens. preventable---and where everyone Bystanders play a very important takes responsibility for stopping it.” role in promoting or preventing bullying. They may make a situation worse by Resources, IBM Global Work/Life watching, and not saying anything or Fund, Education Development Center, joining in. However, bystanders can Inc., Eyes on Bullying, their website: make the bullying stop by helping eyesonbullying@edc.org the victim, getting support from other bystanders or getting help from an adult. EYE OPENER: Most adults who were bullied as children maintain vivid memories of the events throughout their lifetime. Who is involved? Bullying involves many players: bullies, victims and bystanders. Each of these can make it stop. Bullies choose and train their victims to comply to their demands. They look for attention, encouragement or silence from bystanders. However, bullies can be stopped when victims and bystanders apply new ways to stand up against bullying. Bullies can learn social skills and making friends rather than picking on others. Some things you can tell bystanders… • Don’t stand around watching quietly. Some things you can tell bullies… Don’t join in, or laugh at the victim. • Stop bullying right now! • Stand up for the person being bullied. • Bullying will make you lose friends. If you feel safe, tell the bully to stop. • Bullying will not be put up • Use words like “stop teasing!” “Don’t with. fight!” “Leave him alone!” “It’s not • Bullying hurts kids and you. funny” • This is a bad example for kids. • Help the victim to walk a way. He may • There are other ways to solve problems. be too afraid to leave on his own. • Everyone needs to be treated • Tell other bystanders to help the victim. right. Tell them not to join in, but help. Daylight Saving Time Starts Sunday, March 9 Set your clocks ahead one hour. find us on facebook Vernonia’s Voice Drive Thru Espresso & More Route 26 Diner $1.00 off Easter Sunday Buffet Brunch April 20 Make Reservations now! 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