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About Vernonia's voice. (Vernonia, OR) 2007-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 1, 2009)
health and wellness november 2009 19 For Goodness Sake... Promoting Health of the Mind, Body, Spirit and Community By Heather Lewis, LMT, CLT, NT I heard the other day that win- ter allergies are on the rise. Mold, dust- mites, evergreen tree pollen. Coupled with it being cold and flu season, I am predicting a significant increase in facial tissues stock. Hurry, get those dwin- dling 401k plans converted. We hear a lot about new cures. Claritin®, Allegra®, Zicam®-- I was watching a commercial for a new aller- gy medicine that said side-effects may include flu-like symptoms. I’m sorry, what was that? You’ve got to be kid- ding. Nope, really that’s what it said. Some medicines warn they may cause drowsiness (I think they mean may cause coma). The coughing, aching, sneezing, runny nose, sleeping if you can make it from the bathroom to the bed before you pass out medicine. We hear a lot about old cures. Is it feed a cold-- starve a fever, or the other way around? Prevention has a wide variety of options. There is flu vaccine for those who are immune compromised, with many dedicated professionals striving to predict the flu strains that will be preva- lent this season. For the rest of us, what are our options? Elmo has taught all but news reporter Chuck Todd how to sneeze properly. We have learned from Oprah that your hands aren’t really washed un- less you have been able to complete the song “Happy Birthday” while scrubbing. If all else fails and you find your- self reaching for the tissue this season, then there’s grandma’s chicken soup- - studies show it actually helps reduce inflammation and speeds up movement of mucus. Sore throat? Try a salt wa- ter gargle for temporary relief. Conges- tion? There’s Vicks Vapo-rub®, it can’t hurt and if it makes you feel better, great. Over-the-counter decongestants will of- fer relief but if used for more than a couple of days, drying effects will cause rebound inflammation and can actually make symptoms worse. Try a humidi- fier or saline nasal spray instead. Keep- ing nasal passages clean using a Neti Pot can be as effective if not more so than otc medications with no side-effects. In fact some Neti Pot enthusiasts feel it is a great preventative. They are affordable (compared to what we spend on other Better Parenting: The Spoiled Child - PART I By Sonia Spackman What is a spoiled child? How can I tell if I spoil mine? The sad truth is that it is easier to spoil our kids than not spoil them. But what is a spoiled child ex- actly? How does an adorable baby learn to manipulate us and not get any discipline for it in just a few years? Ask yourself the following questions about your children: Do they disregard rules? Do they keep going when you say stop? Do they seem to fight about almost anything? Is it difficult to keep them happy? Do they beg for unnecessary toys as though they are necessary as food? Do they disregard other family members’ feelings, wants and needs? Do they throw uncontrollable tantrums on a regular ba- sis? If you answered a solid yes to more than a couple of these questions, you might have some work ahead of you. Spoiling our kids is not about giving too much love. Spoiling them is providing too much care-- care that may look and feel loving, but keeps a child from achieving his or her full potential. Why do we spoil our kids? I think that spoiling kids starts with a good heart. We want to protect our kids from feeling the pain we had when we were growing up. Sometimes we are reacting from our own feelings of guilt, worry and sometimes we are just plain tired. David J. Bredehoft, Ph.D., the coauthor of How Much is Enough? Everything you need to know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Respon- sible, and Respectful Children, states that after reading the facts about the harm that spoiling our kids really does, many parents might think about doing things dif- ferently. What is the harm in spoiling a child? And why should I be concerned? Research clearly shows that the impact of childhood overindulgences lasts well into adulthood. They grow up facing many painful challenges as adults. A spoiled child is not ready for the real world and will butt heads with peers and adults for the rest of his life. It will be easier for them to make these changes as chil- dren than to unlearn these patterns as adults. Giving our kids too many toys, clothes, activities, sports, lessons, entertainment, or privileges. As parents, we sometimes think that if we do everything for them and give them everything they want, our kids will feel good about themselves and be more successful. In reality, it will be the opposite. This thinking is deceiving in many ways. If they have ev- erything handed to them they develop expectations that blind them to the fact that they need to know how to work and earn the things that they want. Doing things for our kids that they can and should be doing for themselves. This also involves hovering, res- cuing and siding with the child when they are misbe- having. Our children’s self-worth is determined not only by how they feel about themselves inside, but self- worth is determined by how they compare themselves to kids their own age. What do you think happens in- side our children when other kids make fun of them and hold their misbehavior against them? Over-giving is a form of child neglect. It hin- ders children from performing in their needed devel- opmental areas, and from learning needed life lessons. Over-giving and overly permissive parents hinder their kids because the kids are not able to calm themselves when feeling overwhelmed. They have no frustration tolerance, self-control or anger management skills. Not having rules, not enforcing rules, not having chores, giving too much freedom, allowing our kids to Total Body Conditioning Are you ready to get serious about your fi tness? Join today! Boot camp style training with a serious kick - to give you real results! Special pricing… $79.00 for 12 Classes* Classes on Mon, Wed & Fri at 8:30am No evening classes through February Sign Up & Save! Individual Training Sessions Also Available Teresa Williams, NSCA-CPT Certifi ed Fitness Trainer 503-429-5051 or 503-799-3424 fitnessbytw@netzero.com *Pricing available for single classes remedies) and relatively easy to use by following the directions. We pay great detail to clean every other orifice during our personal hygiene regimes; I think it is high time we gave the nose its due. Ask any auto mechanic how important the air filter is on the efficiency of your car’s performance. Neglect it for long and your vehicle will be coughing and sputtering too. So the next time you see you kid digging for gold, take the opportunity to show them how to use the more socially acceptable Neti Pot. They are just intui- tively trying to keep their engine running efficiently. Here’s wishing you good health… dominate the family. These kids are unable to understand the feel- ings, needs or wants of their peers or adults around them. Some kids act out to be contained. They shake things up, and get worse to force parents to finally give them the structure they need. Many children want and need to feel safe when they can’t control themselves. Spoiled kids with Oppositional Defiant Disor- der, ADHD, and bipolar disorder or other mental/emo- tional deficits still need to have parental help or it will be the police and the courts that intervene eventually. Medication, when necessary, and behavior manage- ment needs to be in place and evaluated periodically. It doesn’t seem right or fair not to do this for them when it’s needed. Our kids need as much help as possible to be able to manage their behavior throughout a typical day so they have a better chance to make progress. Spoiled kids usually come from permissive homes. If you give in to your child’s tantrum rather than disciplining him or her for it, or if you do not have rules or guidelines for your kids that you enforce, then you are too permissive. When you do this, you are giving your kids power over you. And that strengthens his ego and in- fluences selfish and manipulating behaviors. Before a child is 6 years old, she can learn to manipulate a per- missive parent, and then transfer this learned behavior to the world outside the home. Parents do not do this on purpose. They often do not understand what they are doing, because they mix up needs with wants. They think that a crying child needs more from them. But this is not the case- - all kids need to feel disappointment and frustration in order to learn to manage it; if we do not allow this struggle, they will get accustomed to attention and af- fection when they feel uncomfortable, and demand it from you and others. continued on page 26