by Atlas Flynn
ADVICE
Dirty Words
On The Move
Apparently,
our
roomate's
boyfriend
is really
grossed-out
hearing us
have sex.
OMG I’m in trouble. I’m sleeping with a girl in
Portland that’s pretty well known. She’s been see-
ing other people in the past, but is supposed to be
just with her girlfriend right now. I just feel like
everyone is on the verge of finding out, and I’m
afraid everybody is going to blame me. WTF do I
do? Nothing? Move away? - On the verge
Hmmm. Well, you are in the shit OTV, aren’t you?
Basically, you’re sleeping with someone who is
cheating. Regardless of rules in the past, the cur-
rent ones consist of her being exclusive with her
girlfriend. If you continue to sleep with her, you
become accountable to the injuries that ensue. If
the girl you’re seeing is as socially known as you
say, you can be sure… There will be blood.
Moving away seems a bit much. If you’re friends
with your lover’s girl, then you need to work out a
way to come clean. It’s painful, but only the truth
can set you free. If you don’t know her girlfriend,
then it’s time to suspend romantic privileges until
they’ve worked it out. You might save yourself the
angry Facebook messages from her army of queers
and dears.
Hey Dirty Words! I’m excited to read your new
column, and I have a question for you… My boy-
friend and I just moved into a beautiful house with
a straight couple. The problem is that I’ve now
overheard them argue twice about us. Apparently,
the boyfriend is really grossed-out about hearing
us have sex. I’ve heard them, and it’s not music, but
it doesn’t bother me. My boyfriend doesn’t think
we should bring it up, but… now I feel weird.
Should this be a talk? - To talk or not to talk
Oh, man, and thanks for the well wishes. I like the
idea of you approaching this freaked-out dude,
and promising to only have straight sex with your
boyfriend from now on. But no, that’s a bad idea.
50
JustOut.com
There’s no other option I can see, but having a talk
about it. It will be awkward, but you have the right
to have sex in your house. Nothing will change for
the better if you let it alone. Approach the subject
in the least combative way possible, and prepare
for non-resolution.
He probably won’t be okay with it for a while, or
perhaps ever, but your “good roommate” duty
is over. The burden is on him to deal with it. He
doesn’t have to like it, but I’m glad that you do.
Thanks again!
I’m 25, straight, and male. I’m having trouble with
my girlfriend of two years. At first, the sex was
good, and we both seemed satisfied. Now things
have cooled off, and I think we need to experi-
ment. I’d like to watch other couples, especially
gay ones. I think queer sex is incredibly hot, and
I don’t know why she’s so resistant and closed-
minded to it. Are there words I should be using to
convince her to loosen up? – Likes to Watch
LTW, I will refrain from joking with you, as I’m
afraid you’d take me seriously. Of course there’s
nothing wrong with a harmless fetish. If the voy-
eurism is consensual for all parties, then that’s just
fine. However, pressuring your girlfriend to do
something she’s not comfortable with isn’t cool.
There aren’t “loosening up” words for things like
this, and if there were, I wouldn’t share the dark
arts with you. Have a talk about ways to rekindle
your sex life that she’s into. If she draws a blank,
surprise her with something sexy that won’t scare
or scar her. If my girlfriend wanted to watch
straight couples do it, I’d get her a Cinemax sub-
scription. Perhaps the gay porn can be for your
eyes only. Good luck. g
Send your questions for Atlas Fynn to atlas@justout.com.
September
2012