Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 9, 2011)
OREGON'S LGBTO NEWSMAGAZINE voices Merry Chwanukkahsticevus! Ahhh... the smell of rotting leaves com bined with the steady, incessant pitter-patter o f raindrops falling on dying foliage. Oh, and let’s not forget the half-rain, half-mist phe nomenon often lasting for days I call “mist with an attitude.” Folks, welcome to Christ mastime in Portland. Growing up in a tropical country where Christmas season is no different than any other time o f year (think 90 degrees heat, swaying palm trees and 100 percent humidi ty), I really looked forward to a white Christ mas when I first arrived here. Alas, poor me— I didn’t do my research well enough (mind you, these were pre-Internet days and Google was not invented yet) and moved to Portland, Ore. not realizing it doesn’t snow much here. When I finally did experience my first white Christmas, I ended up hating it after only two days because Portland is one o f those cities that comes to a screeching, grind ing halt if as much as an inch o f snow sticks to the ground. As a child, Christmas was a novelty to me. We never celebrated it while I was growing up. Even though my parents were somewhat progressive for Asians (my father championed English over our native tongue and my mother encouraged us to pursue higher education in western countries even though she had no for D VOUR VE mal schooling o f any kind), I grew up in a very strict Buddhist/Taoist environment. Both my mom and dad were very religious and super stitious. When I mention this to people here, they don’t seem to think it was that bad. How ever, westerners’ ideas o f Buddhism are very different from the actual Buddhism practiced in Southeast Asia. Over there Buddhism is cross-pollinated with Taoism and other super stitions such as animal and object worship. (Look, it’s an extra large tree and it is super ugly— there must be a spirit living in it! L et’s sacrifice a chicken and appease the spirit be fore it harms us!) When I was 18,1 converted to Catholi cism— I guess it was inevitable considering I attended Catholic schools my whole life (from The Holy Rosary Kindergarten to the Univer sity o f Portland, a Jesuit college). I was also hopelessly in love with a Catholic boy then so I did everything I could to be around him, in cluding going to church. Strangely enough, I am also convinced I was “called.” At the time my mother had fallen prey to an unscrupulous “medium” and was tricked into parting with a lot o f money and her peace o f mind. I was young, hurt and confused and needed some answers. I was appalled at how the gods we worship can be so cruel when they should be benevolent so I “Bible-dipped” (ask God a question, close your eyes, randomly open a page in the Bible and point at a verse with your'finger) and got some eerily accurate an swers. Only later did I learn the Bible is chock-full o f passages about a merciful and loving God, but I was in too deep. Ironically, I was a staunch Catholic until I moved here and attended the University o f Portland— which, as a Catholic college, re quired students to take either a theology or philosophy class every semester. In a course I took called “Science and Religion,” the in structor talked about how many o f the “mira cles” in the Bible can be debunked with mod ern science. However, if we are true Christians, we should have blind faith in God and believe He is responsible for everything. This did not make sense to me. Another class I took cov ered the history o f religions from around the world. My eyes were opened to the horrors organized religions are capable o f (jihads and crusades are just beginning). DECEMBER 9. 2011 37 While I don’t believe in organized religion, I do believe we are all here for a reason. I guess you can consider me agnostic. I don’t subscribe to the belief system and dogma o f any one re ligion but rather believe in the universal good ness o f all religions. In college, I made the mistake of wishing someone “Merry Christmas” only to offend him because I didn’t realize he was Jewish. This was when I was still fresh off the boat and had not learned o f the more generic and politically cor rect greeting o f “Happy holidays.” To me, Christmas never really meant the birth of Christ anyway (the Christmas we celebrate is really a pagan holiday the Catholic Church an nexed to appease the pagans and help convert them), so I didn’t see what the fuss was about. Christmas to me is about being around friends and family and the spirit o f sharing. After that snafu, I decided to take all good intentions o f all the holidays occurring at this time o f year and make it into a new greeting that won’t offend anyone and is more interesting than “Happy holidays.” So here it is— have a very Merry Chwanukkahsticevus everyone! JM In case you're wondering, it is Christmas, Kwan- zaa, Hanukkah, Solstice and Festivus (for the rest o f us). Bennie is accepting Chwanukkahstice vus wishes and gifts at pdxpandacub@gmail.com. WITH A BANG! ^ O R T L flO D . / r (TOOTHY ADVEflTURE Fun 1/ Done S T E A IV I • open 24 HR/ • CLOSED CHRISTMAS DAV LIVE PERFORMER LIVE D| NUDE DANCERS CHAMPAGNE AT 12AM MUST BE 21+ FOR CHAMPAGNE TOAST* GLOW /TICK adveatu re / R6D=BOTTOm GReen-veR/ BLUE TOP AVAILABLE AT CHECK- 0 $13 • LOCKER/ $22 . R o o m / $27 • VIDEO ROOm / $34 • DOUBLE/ BLACKOUT I/ EVERY 3RD /ATURDAY STEAM PORTLAND • 2885 NE SANDY BLVD PORTLAND OR 97232 • www.steamportland.com • 503.736.9999 NEW MEMBERS VISIT US ONLINE FOR VITUAL TOUR AND A SPECIAL DISCOUNTED ADMISSION!
