business directory *
OREGON'S LESBIAN/GAY/BI/TRANS/QUEER NEWSMAGAZINE
OCTOBER 21,2011
41 J ß ]
503 . 236.1253
Promote Your Business Here
» REAL ESTATE
“It all starts with
TIM PITTS
Broker. Licensed in the State of Oregon
Selecting the ideal real estate
tim@livingroomrealtors.com
503 - 317-4312
professional can make buying
or selling a home less stressful
and more fulfilling.
Where do you start?
LIVING ROOM
With a cup of cofTce perhaps
REALTORS
Donald Falk
Principal Broker,
g r i c r s abr
ol Experience
Licensed in Oregon A Washington
» VOLUNTEERING
JO E L H A M L E Y
Principal Broker, ABR
The Real in Realtor
18 YEA RS E X P E R IE N C E
1902 SE Morrison St. • Portland, OR 97214
COCKTAILS AT CLOSING
Direct: 971.506.9499
OUR RANCH OR YOURS
www.welcomehomepdx.com
See my display ad in this issue.
Ill
MLiifflS
Multi-Million Dollar
Producer
falkd @ hasson com
CO LD W ELL
pdxrealty.com
503 . 314.8307
TOM C O T T E R + D O U G B E E B E
BR O K ER S WITH A MODERN TWIST
BA N KER
SEAL
503.260.7876+ 503.2 60.780B
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BISEXUALITY
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R e a l t y T rust
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r Instant Access to Portland and the Nations
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- WOODY ALLEN
H.
D
/ "■ "N
D
A R E Y O U IN T E R E S T E D IN
E M P O W E R IN G W O M E N & GIRLS?
Join our team of volunteer violence prevention
instructors! The W om enStrength &
GirlStrength Programs, operated through
the Portland Police Bureau, are recruiting
women interested in becoming volunteer
self-defense instructors. Training starts February
25th, 2012. We encourage women of all ages &
backgrounds to apply. No experience is
necessary. APPLICATIO N DEADLINE:
DECEMBER 2nd, 2011. Call 503-823-0239 or
email Girlstrength.pb@portlandoregon.gov
w ayne
a v is
WANT TO ADVERTISE H ER E?
P rin c ip a l B ro k e r
( if»\ KcalKslalc
Celia J. Lyon
C all
Principal Broker
THE POWER OF ONE
•// ( 503 ) 319-4057
hddavisC« realtytrust.com
CeliaLyon.com • CeliaLyonf« aol.com
Meadows Group Inc. • 1902 SE Morrison
or Call Toll Free
1.888.420.MOVE (6683)
S E E M Y D ISP LA Y AD IN TH IS IS S U E
( 503 ) 294-1101
www.realtytrust.com/hdwaynedavis
503.236.1253
Fax
Ext.
to.
503.236.1257
www.justout.com
L et’s talk alm ut your need » and cre a te a strategy fo r your future.
everything you
Nervous About
Our Nellie Son
D f . a r M s . B e h a v i o r :
My partner and I are two proud masculine
gay men. We are socially and economically
successful in the straight world. W e’ve been
together for a decade, and are raising a son
together, who is now 8 years old. We haven’t
wanted Jeff to grow up in a gay ghetto, so we’ve
exposed him to a broad range o f people and ac
tivities, including sports and stock-car racing.
In the last year or so, Jeff has become quite
nellie. f le ffounces, he lisps, he wears scarves on
his head, and he watches M omm ie Dearest over
and over. We found a copy o f Oprah magazine
under his pillow. He asked for a formal tea set
for his birthday. Plus, we’ve heard him make
his favorite Barbie doll sing the theme song
1
take hers away. I f I really loved her, would I
want To make
/ love more to her?
— Confused
D ear C o n fu s e d :
31
ms. behavior
.
BY M ER YL COHN
We haven’t wanted Jeff to grow up in a gay ghetto, so we’ve
exposed him to a broad range of people and activities, including
sports and stock-car racing.
In the last year or so, Jeff has become quite nellie. He flounces,
he lisps, he wears scarves on his head, and he watches Mommie
Dearest over and over...
to Cats. Jeff is a sweet, wonderful child, hut we
First you say, “I love this woman!” Then you
wonder if deeper love would make you feel more
passionate, even though your tepid response is
not specific to this relationship. Does the ob
stacle to your passion feel physical? Emotional?
You say that “negative factors” influence your
lives together. This could mean that your mother
lives with you, you’re broke, the cat pees on the
bed, or you have a chronic yeast infection.
You seem to have trouble identifying your
feelings, or at least being honest about them.
Therapy may help, but you should also rule
don’t understand why he’s so queeny; neither
absolutely do nothing positive for your little
one o f us is effeminate.
nellies self-esteem.
D e a r M s . B e h a v io r :
out a physical problem. I f you do nothing, you
For the past three years, I’ve been in my
may lose your relationship, in which case i\fs.
This feminine behavior is not offensive to
You can try to heat the bov into butchness,
first lesbian relationship. I love this woman!
Behavior would bet that lukewarm sex follows
us, hut we’ve tried so hard to provide a loving
send him to a military school where they’ll do it
But she wants to make love more than I do
you like a had dream to the next one. Or, to he
neutral environment for our son, and we worry
for you, or confine him to his room every time he
and feels that I do not want her like she
less dramatic about it, you may find that you
that outsiders will think that we’re teaching Jeff
acts faggy. Or, you can do what the best straight
wants me. Now I worry that I am under-
just have a low libido.
to be gay. W hat should we do?
parents ultimately do: Accept the fact that you
sexed or inhibited. Everything else between
have a lovely poofter for a son, and he grateful
us is good.
— S a ru iR
for his creativity, sensitivity and sense o f style.
D ear
S
and
R:
Don’t worry what “outsiders” think; the
But if you are indeed capable o f erotic ecstasy,
then mediocre sex is a big drag. Ms. Behavior
In a previous relationship with a man, I also
would suggest that you try everything— psycho
didn’t feel passionate, but I stayed with him
therapy, an exorcism, prayer, pelvic exercises. This
because I loved him.
is not just to please your girlfriend, hut so that you
I f your son showed more masculine signs
ones prone to judging you will do so regard
o f being gay (like asking for chaps for C hrist
less of what you do or how Jeff acts. And the
I do want her, but not with the f requency or
mas, and hiding copies o f Honcho under his
loving ones will remain that way whether or
passion she needs and wants. W hen we have
pillow), you would feel more comfortable,
not your son is a sissy.
sex (about once a week), it is intense and excit
can sec how magnificent unbridled passion will
feel to you. Even if it’s just for a moment or twtv
since his queerness would he more closeted.
Buy Jeff a tea set for his birthday. And throw
ing. Some negative factors influence our lives
M ery/ Cohn is the author o f D o W h at I Say:
But trying to force him, however subtly, to
in a few pretty scarves, just to show him how
together, which affect me. But should those
M s. Behaviors G uide to Gay and Lesbian
he the kind o f queer you find acceptable will
much you love him.
other problems reduce my passion? It doesn’t
Etiquette. E m a il mshehavior^Paol.com.