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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 21, 2011)
voices* Waiting On The Great Awakening OREGO N'S LGBTO N EW S M A G A ZIN E OCTOBER 21. 2011 — A couple of weeks ago, I was asked to speak at a town hall forum on our community’s re sponse to a plan by Seattle-based evangelical mega-church, Mars Hill, to move into South east Portland. By now, most of us know what went down: Q_Center held talks with church leaders, many in our community expressed outrage over that decision, many others of fered support, and I wrote a strongly worded column about evangelicals that thrust me into the middle of the debate, making me an unof ficial spokesman for Q_Center’s opposition. Somewhat begrudgingly, I marched down N W 21st Avenue that very wet, very dark Wednesday evening, finding my way to the Process W ork Institute, an educational facility specializing in—you guessed it— process work. If I may offer a crude definition, process work is a fancy way o f referring to conflict resolu tion. (I’m guessing, though, they do much more than that.) Ever flirting with tardiness, I arrived seconds before the event’s scheduled start time; the building, daunting from the outside, looked like something out of a Frank Lloyd W right retrospective. O r perhaps my nerves made the building grow. Whenever I’m faced with slightly uncomfort able situations, I can’t keep the sweats at bay, so a public speaking scenario really wreaks havoc on my glands. The night’s facilitators, who moon light as expert therapists, established ground rules from the outset. Since my skepticism was already in overdrive, I cringed a bit when they talked about honoring diversity, respecting dif ference and acknowledging unspoken feelings (they called them “ghosts”) in the room. Calm eluded me and, for a time, I felt like I was trapped in an old Saturday Night Live skit, with an exaggerated version o f Terry Gross at the helm. Not helping matters were flashbacks to my last true engagement with therapy— failed efforts to salvage a deteriorating rela tionship. That things devolved even more spectacularly mid-therapy has since made me irrationally wary. A strange thing happened as our panel fin ished mapping out positions and the audience began sharing their stories. Not long into the conversation, I stopped caring and noticing I represented the minority view; I stopped worry ing about whether talking to Hill people was futile; I didn’t care who was right or wrong (no small feat for me). I listened. Obviously a town hall forum that broaches religion attracts a par ticular demographic; that night was no excep tion. But those present weren’t evangelical Hill people (none came); these were gay Christians, M o f Emily Rose, I was awake for three days. Years dedicated to studying theology and burying my head in texts helps keep most in doctrination at bay, as did a rather lengthy, tor rid love affair with Richard Dawkins and athe ism. That process (one might call it ongoing) lent to some rather hostile feelings toward. Christianity. So it wasn’t much of a stretch for me to realize I have probably done my share to make queer Portland an often frosty place for queer Christians. I realized, too, how lucky I’ve been. I’ve never had to explain my beliefs to my peers; being generally noncommittal and always exploring is relatively easy, save for the deprogramming part. Gays who believe in God and go to church? They’re treated, often at best, with un warranted, unfair unease. As I knew throughout my exchange with Q_Center, we don’t have to agree about everything to afford each other some respect. So why doesn’t this courtesy ex tend to gay Christians? O f course it does— and should, even if they don’t drink or go out as much as some o f us. Besides, why exclude our- selves from an entirely new dating pool? W ho knows what bounty awaits? it] Unitarians and congregants from the Metropoli tan Community Church— and probably else where. A community I’ve never known well. As conversations veered away from Mars Hill, participants delved into personal territory— and I noticed a repeating theme. After discussing broadly shared wariness toward fundamentalists, they talked about their experiences as gay Chris tians, specifically about coming out Christian to other queers. They talked about being judged for their faith, and how judgment occasionally mor phed into ridicule— at bars, in social settings, al most everywhere. Already facing a hostile world at large, this passionate, loving, intelligent part of our community faces an impossible conundrum: straddling faith and sexuality. Like many, I spent my formative years in an intense evangelical situation. Like Rick Perry, I was taught to believe in angels, demons and spiritual warfare— along with a real place called hell reserved for faggots and dykes and lots more end-of-the-world, book-of-Revelation- type stuff. Remember that May 21 Armaged don prediction? Close friends and I spoke in secret about faint, nagging worries that every SN L jokes aside, I have nothing hut love fo r thing we were ever taught might be right. And the talented people at Process Works. E m ail the demon stuff? After I watched The Exorcism daniel@justout.com. - ................................... — ............. ■ ■■■■■■■ ............. . HUGE SELECTION OF DVDS • ADULT TOYS • LINGERIE • MAGAZINES S a t u r d a y O c t o b e r 2 9 th at th e C rystal Barroom h A n nu a l 25 ALL STORES OPEN 24 HOURS TO SERVE YOU! PRIVATE AND INTIMATE MULTICHANNEL ARCAOE PORTLAND. I * Your Adult Halloween Costume Headquarters. Come in for Special Pricing on all your Halloween Needs. t S e x » S ta g e s £ flte rta m f» e n i h>rt*...SaSv a ScanJet! I P e i*» i B a ttV e p n 1* * Wtf> erove* [ Join us for Halloween at The Hawthorne Saturday, October 29th, 1507 SE 39th Ave. j By Catalyst Entertainment Production. | Purchase your tickets af any Taboo Video store. 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