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Bottoms Up!
Some of the first gay terms I learned when I
came out were “top” and “bottom .” For those
who don’t already know, allow me to clarify
(although if you’re reading/«.?/ Out, you should
know these terms—even if you're straight). A
“top” is a gay man who likes to— how shall I
put this delicately—penetrate the poop chute
o f another man. Conversely, a “bottom” is a
gay man who enjoys getting his usually exit-
only orifice penetrated by another man.
Certain gays like to refer to bottoms as “pas
sive” or “submissive.” I, however, don’t think ei
ther of these words is accurate— obviously
those who think bottoms are lazy and meek
have never encountered a “power bottom,” a
bottom who lives and breathes to take charge
during coitus and give the top one hell of a ride
(pun intended). In my years as a sexually active
gay man, I’ve also met a few tops who are not
very “active” or “aggressive.’’They just “lie” there
like a wet fish during intercourse, expecting the
bottom to do all the work.
Because of the misnomer that bottoms are
compliant and subservient to tops, I think
they’ve gotten the short end of the stick. It re
ally irks me when the word “bottom” is so of
ten used disparagingly— as if the person is not
entirely man enough and a huge chunk of his
masculinity is M.I.A.
Bottoms are often deemed as more effemi-
panda say what?!
BY BENNIE TAN
yi
It really irks me when the word
"bottom" is so often used
disparagingly—as if the person is
not entirely man enough and a huge
chunk of his masculinity is M.I.A.
nate. Again, I don’t think it is an accurate ste
reotype— I’ve met several really gruff and
masculine men who look like they could beat
you up using just their pinkies but are total
bottoms. It also doesn’t explain why I know of
more than a few drag queens who exclusively
top when they have carnal relations.
As for myself, I am an unabashed bottom.
Over the years I’ve learned to not feel shame
about being an openly proud bottom. I used to
skirt around the issue or claim I was sexually
“versatile” (someone who goes both ways) when
I first came out, but I soon realized it was better
to be honest and upfront about such matters in
order to avoid later misunderstandings in the
bedroom. This is not to say I don’t enjoy top
ping once in a really blue moon— more often
than not, it involves a really hot Cub— but I
definitely consider myself a bottom.
breathlessly, “W ho is that?
My friend—who also happens to be a bot
tom— took one look at him, turned to me,
wrinkled up his nose and said dismissively,
“O h, her? She’s new to town and don’t bother.
She’s a big oX bottom?
The way my friend said “bottom” was filled
with such disdain I was taken aback. It just
didn’t seem right. Wasn’t he a bottom? Wasn’t I
a bottom? Why do bottoms have to dislike each
other? Even though nothing would come out
o f it, I decided to break this vicious cycle of
bottom-hating, man up and introduce myself. I
figured if things were to go that route, there's
such a thing called a double-headed dildo.
He turned out to be a really nice guy and a
really good kisser.
This is 2 0 1 1 .1 think it’s high time we don’t
judge individuals based on their sexual roles.
People who look down on bottoms should re
alize they are an integral part of the gay sexual
equation. How else would tops get their rocks
off if it weren’t for bottoms? And self-loathing
bottoms should realize that just because they
take it up the ass doesn’t make them any less
o f a man. ! • :
Most o f you know I roll with the Bears and,
in this community, masculinity is a highly
prized trait. One would think, with all the tes
tosterone coursing through their veins, there
would be an abundance o f tops in the Bear
community. Initially, I thought I would have
my pick o f Portland’s most prolific tops, but
alas, a large number of Bears happen to be
bottoms. Apparently, what was said in the
movie Chasing Amy is true: Everyone just
needs “some serious deep-dicking.”
Around then, I had an epiphany and real
ized masculinity had nothing to do with what
someone did with their anus.
Sadly, because o f how most Bears perceive
masculinity, bottoms are sometimes derided
within the community. I was sitting in a bar
one day enjoying a cold beverage when in
walked a really fine Bear. He was a sight to
behold— he had a full head of cropped dark
hair; a short, fuzzy beard covered his gorgeous
face; his arms bulged with muscles; and his
manly, puffed-out chest had strands o f dark
curly hair peeking out from under his sleeve
less shirt. I was agog with lust. I had never This Panda thinks there should he a “Bottom Pride ”
seen him before so I turned to my friend— contingent in this year's Pride parade. What do you
who seems to know everyone— and asked think? Email him at pdxpandacubdPgmail.com.
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