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Bottoms Up!
Some of the first gay terms I learned when I
came out were “top” and “bottom .” For those
who don’t already know, allow me to clarify
(although if you’re reading/«.?/ Out, you should
know these terms—even if you're straight). A
“top” is a gay man who likes to— how shall I
put this delicately—penetrate the poop chute
o f another man. Conversely, a “bottom” is a
gay man who enjoys getting his usually exit-
only orifice penetrated by another man.
Certain gays like to refer to bottoms as “pas­
sive” or “submissive.” I, however, don’t think ei­
ther of these words is accurate— obviously
those who think bottoms are lazy and meek
have never encountered a “power bottom,” a
bottom who lives and breathes to take charge
during coitus and give the top one hell of a ride
(pun intended). In my years as a sexually active
gay man, I’ve also met a few tops who are not
very “active” or “aggressive.’’They just “lie” there
like a wet fish during intercourse, expecting the
bottom to do all the work.
Because of the misnomer that bottoms are
compliant and subservient to tops, I think
they’ve gotten the short end of the stick. It re­
ally irks me when the word “bottom” is so of­
ten used disparagingly— as if the person is not
entirely man enough and a huge chunk of his
masculinity is M.I.A.
Bottoms are often deemed as more effemi-
panda say what?!
BY BENNIE TAN
yi
It really irks me when the word
"bottom" is so often used
disparagingly—as if the person is
not entirely man enough and a huge
chunk of his masculinity is M.I.A.
nate. Again, I don’t think it is an accurate ste­
reotype— I’ve met several really gruff and
masculine men who look like they could beat
you up using just their pinkies but are total
bottoms. It also doesn’t explain why I know of
more than a few drag queens who exclusively
top when they have carnal relations.
As for myself, I am an unabashed bottom.
Over the years I’ve learned to not feel shame
about being an openly proud bottom. I used to
skirt around the issue or claim I was sexually
“versatile” (someone who goes both ways) when
I first came out, but I soon realized it was better
to be honest and upfront about such matters in
order to avoid later misunderstandings in the
bedroom. This is not to say I don’t enjoy top­
ping once in a really blue moon— more often
than not, it involves a really hot Cub— but I
definitely consider myself a bottom.
breathlessly, “W ho is that?
My friend—who also happens to be a bot­
tom— took one look at him, turned to me,
wrinkled up his nose and said dismissively,
“O h, her? She’s new to town and don’t bother.
She’s a big oX bottom?
The way my friend said “bottom” was filled
with such disdain I was taken aback. It just
didn’t seem right. Wasn’t he a bottom? Wasn’t I
a bottom? Why do bottoms have to dislike each
other? Even though nothing would come out
o f it, I decided to break this vicious cycle of
bottom-hating, man up and introduce myself. I
figured if things were to go that route, there's
such a thing called a double-headed dildo.
He turned out to be a really nice guy and a
really good kisser.
This is 2 0 1 1 .1 think it’s high time we don’t
judge individuals based on their sexual roles.
People who look down on bottoms should re­
alize they are an integral part of the gay sexual
equation. How else would tops get their rocks
off if it weren’t for bottoms? And self-loathing
bottoms should realize that just because they
take it up the ass doesn’t make them any less
o f a man. ! • :
Most o f you know I roll with the Bears and,
in this community, masculinity is a highly
prized trait. One would think, with all the tes­
tosterone coursing through their veins, there
would be an abundance o f tops in the Bear
community. Initially, I thought I would have
my pick o f Portland’s most prolific tops, but
alas, a large number of Bears happen to be
bottoms. Apparently, what was said in the
movie Chasing Amy is true: Everyone just
needs “some serious deep-dicking.”
Around then, I had an epiphany and real­
ized masculinity had nothing to do with what
someone did with their anus.
Sadly, because o f how most Bears perceive
masculinity, bottoms are sometimes derided
within the community. I was sitting in a bar
one day enjoying a cold beverage when in
walked a really fine Bear. He was a sight to
behold— he had a full head of cropped dark
hair; a short, fuzzy beard covered his gorgeous
face; his arms bulged with muscles; and his
manly, puffed-out chest had strands o f dark
curly hair peeking out from under his sleeve­
less shirt. I was agog with lust. I had never This Panda thinks there should he a “Bottom Pride ”
seen him before so I turned to my friend— contingent in this year's Pride parade. What do you
who seems to know everyone— and asked think? Email him at pdxpandacubdPgmail.com.
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