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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 7, 2011)
M 32 W W W JUSTOUT C O M JANUARY 7 2011 VOICES Call It Improvised Confession I’ve always loved New Year’s Eve. My contin ued adoration isn’t a sign of my (well-docu mented) love for hinge drinking, as this devotion existed long before I emerged an ever imbibing, sentient adult. In the Pentecostal cult I grew up in, I anxiously awaited an annual church service called Watch Night: a frenzied, late-night spec tacle that rang in each new year with raised hands, tongue-talking and sprinting up and down the aisles. As a young child and, eventually, a teenager, I’d sit attentively, transfixed, partici pating, awaiting either Jesus’imminent return or the apocalypse’s inception— I was never certain. The dawn of the new year represented some thing I couldn’t fathom then: hope. Hope for 'improvement, change, for bidding the past good riddance. The older I got, I realized there was plenty I needed to banish: impure thoughts (the gay), questionable morals (the gay), indecision (again, the gay). I capitalized on this opportunity to bury recent history. I called it improvised confession—inspired by distant, abandoned Catholic roots hut utterly evangelical in nature. #d pray, weep, break down in the arms of church elders. Then, hope was more about biding time, maintaining delusion, plotting escape. Now, I still yearn for purging. And since 2010 was debacle-filled, a brief look back— and subsequent lessons. (Not resolutions.) First: Beach trips rarely end in happily-ever- after, wedded bliss. If you find yourself caught Lesson: It’s okay to hide your sexy secrets until someone puts a ring on it. (Most don’t.) Next: Time isn’t sacred. There arc no longer moments, respites to escape our electronic obli gations— the ones, whether life, death or not, we feel compelled to fiilfill instantaneously. Imme diate text responses. Social networking posts. by D aniel B orgen Barrages of cell phone calls, voice mails. Friends declaring, “I know you’re there, you just posted C ha in ed to e le c tro n ic on FacebookTThe last time I sat through an en constraints. I've fe lt— a t tim es— tire movie, show or dinner without checking my flig h t/, unnerved and. at worst, phone? No idea— as if waiting an hour on that usually urgent, witty retort will spell the min of utterly unhinged. B attling close friendships. Chained to electronic con straints, I’ve felt— at times— flighty, unnerved this irreversible trend is a and, at worst, utterly unhinged. Battling this ir futile effort. I know. Society reversible trend is a futile effort, I know. Society marches on, determined, with or without me. m arches on. determ ined, with Going forward: Be present. or w ithout me. G oing forward: Third: Even if you’re especially eager to get your trick home, do not drink and drive. A close Be present. friend did last summer, wrecking his vehicle, up in a moment, acting somewhat embarrass crashing into a gigantic construction dumpster. ingly during said trips (say you write messages He somehow managed to pull away and get his in recently emptied wine bottles and toss them (completely totaled) car home (he had a trick in into the ocean), keep those sorts of shameful the car, after all). W hen the police came, knock secrets secret, lest close friends spend the rest of ing on his apartment door— mere moments af the year making jokes, crafting variations. ter— he answered Matthew McConaughey-style “Maybe you can pass that handsome stranger (nude, inebriated: “Can I help you, sexy offi sitting at the bar a message in a bottle.” “Need cers?”), they tossed the (also disrobed) trick out some of my empty wine bottles for your date?” the door and arrested Matthew-lite. W hen I LADY ABOUT TOWN — Bring Your Bottoms In For Bottomless Mlimosas A re resolutions w orth the energy? Can't simple re flection suffice? D aniel ^ ju stout , com . r LYDE C O M M O N 5 0 3 . 2 2 8 . 3 3 3 3 1014 SW STARK STREET Quality Food, Quality Service Sc Lots of Champagne Every Saturday & Sunday from 1 Oam - 2pm saw photos of the wrecked car, grief and what-ifs overwhelmed me— a sad, way-too-late wake-up call everyone needed. Each of my closest friends has cabbed or walked since. Another: Although Facebook seems to be dying a slow death, it still serves vital purposes: stalking, awkward public proclamations, inces sant griping, droll mayhem. This beloved re source holds some oft startling revelations— our go-to for relationship gossip. This I learned vi cariously through close friends: Be quite sure you’re ready to alter that “relationship status.” W hen your burgeoning love crashes and burns weeks after it begins, you might regret all the condolences that pour in— unless, o f course, you’re into that sort of thing. Lesson: Facebook isn’t life. Disconnect sometimes. Finally, changes of scenery can be good, ca thartic even. Even when said change is a move to an old neighborhood (NW ) or rejoining an old gym (24 Hour), where daily I’ve faced more ghosts of old flames past than a year’s worth of Blow Ponys. Unlike that confused Pentecostal kid, I now understand why I embrace out-with- the-old, in-with-the-new. I blithely embark upon 2011, hopeful that, year by year, I’m less an idiot than before— older, wiser, pleasantly purged, like the Pentecostal. 1*1 W e ’ll see yo u b a c k in p rin t on Just Out is ta k in g tw o w eeks o ff for ea rly spring c le a n in g Feb. 4. Still b rin g in g you the news d a ily at JustOut.com Restaurant and Bar Good food. Great Fun, and Friendly Staff.., 21* St Clinks LOU S E S&&M Portland’s Eastside Dining & Spirits Music and Videos on flat screen plasma monitors Late Night Menu: F ri . + S at . til M idnight Bar Menu: every night til 2 am ( p ) 503.230.7980 w 2913 SE S tark St.
