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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 1, 2008)
AUGUST 1,2008 juSt)OUV35 L.A. Story: Part One Setting the Standard ho are you going to kiss vard has been described as a vintage hotel. Un this time?” asked my boy fortunately, the vintage appears to have been a friend, writer Marc Acito, 1960s Howard Johnson’s motor kxlge. Walking when 1 told him I was into the lobby with its shag carpeting on the ceil invited on another press ing, potted cacti and beautiful bikini-clad female junket. He was referring, of course, linger aquarium makes me feel chic. lying in to a my Plexiglas ing liplock with a notable gay author (not my hus The room, on the other hand, is so hip it makes band) during a previous junket. me feel square. This time, however, General Motors had invited me and nine other journalists to Los Angeles to test-drive the new hydrogen- powered Equinox. As a further enticement (as if an expense-paid excursion weren’t enough), we would be attending the opening gala ofOutfest, Los Angeles’ 25-year-old gay and lesbian film festival. I know you’re all thinking: “Why Floyd? Why choose the guy who thinks a dipstick is an anatomical feature?” I’d like to believe it’s because I’m an influential journalist who writes for a prestigious paper and has a rabidly loyal following. In reality, GM’s publicist is my friend and former No on 36 fund-raiser Floyd and Calvin Fleming poolside at The Standard. Calvin Fleming. Oh. And my editor, Jim Ra- dosta, couldn’t go. The purpose of the trip was to review cars, For starters, there are no drawers to store my and 1’11 get to them in the next issue. But first, clothes, which seems to be a trend in hospitality, as a courtesy to you readers headed to West Hol- forcing me to stack everything on the countertop/ lywcxxl, let me tell you about the hotel. Warn is desk. In the corner where an easy chair would be more the word. sits a silver cone-shaped sculpture. I poke it and The Standard Hollywood on Sunset Boule determine it’s a beanbag chair, which I plop into. W However, it’s easier getting into than out of, as 1 discover when the phone rings. It’s the twenty-something front desk clerk re sponding to my request for a quieter rtxim. “I’m sorry,” he says in a tone that clearly indi cates he isn’t. “That’s the price category GM paid for. So you’ll have to look out onto the street.” Everything at The Standard is ultra cool, including the bathrixim tile, which is safety-orange. It’s blindingly bright and adds to the Hojo’s feel. The tub has been removed and a glass-enclosed shower in stalled in its place. Here fashion trumps function as 1 sit down on the toilet and bang my head against the glass. The Standard lies just outside the boundary of West Hollywood. Manage ment obviously understands its clientele, because the mini-bar is stocked with a tiny box of condoms that reads: “Slip it on. Slide it in.” The room key also says, “Slip it in,” and the pencils on the countertop/desk read, “**&.! ME!” In other words, I feel like a loser for sleeping alone. At dinner 1 meet the other journalists who are from Genre, The Advocate, Passport, Car & Driver and Logo. Many of these guys are car geeks, and I try not to feel like the ugly stepsister invited to the haH. They all seem so cool, 1 wonder if they like their rooms. After dinner, I hit the sack because we’re scheduled for an early start. But 1 wake up at 2 a.m. shivering from the cold. The lamp on the countertop/laundry pile is so chic I can’t figure out how to turn it on, so 1 stumble in rhe dark to find the thermostat, which is marked “Blow.” The design team must have been gay, because the tem perature settings are “Hard” and “Harder.” 1 opt to turn the blower off, only to wake up an hour later sweating. This time I open the door onto the terrace overlooking busy Sunset Boulevard and watch a group of rowdy partiers head home. L.A. bristles with excitement in a way that sleepy Portland can’t match. Rocker Storm Large says that Portland is the woman you man-y but that Los Angeles, San Francisco and New York are the ladies you take as lovers. I need more of those in my life, with or without liplocks. And for that, I need to be more Out Going. © -w < F loyd S klaver wants to know about your event. E-mail him at floydsklaver@comcast.net. DOES SIZE REALLY MATTER? Whether your existing home is too small or too large, give John a call for all of your real estate needs. (503) 467-9997 □ ta John J. Gibbons, ABR Real Estate Broker Accredited Buyer Representative RFZVIKK Signature Properties email : sizematters@homesofthemetroarea.com HomesoftheMetroArea.com tue OAY-ßTMIIT ALLIANCES - or Mß AWb AUß/ Mnodiwiny, a new ymup (tpatntiwfy,) caffprf THE AUJMM PROJECT ALL CAY. bl. TfcANß Mb CRAICUT Mß I AUS ALUMNI iNVITLb, ESPECIALLY DLUNION OLAßßEß Of 79.79. 99, 99. 99 ¿ 99! 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