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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 1, 2008)
FEBRUARY 1, 2008 just|out|M singing, skill building and socializing, led by dynamic direct« Ray Elliot Rehearsals take place at Ainsworth United Church of Christ. ¡6:30-8:30 pm Wednesday 2941NE Ainsworth St. 503-727-3306. portlandlesbian choir@hotmail.com. www.pkhoir.org.) Rose City Gay Freedom Band is a performance group for queers and supportive friends of varying musical ski levels with annual fall and spring concerts. Subgroups include the Rose City Swing band and a marching band with flag corps. Come join us! 1503-790-2170. info@rcgfb.org. www.rcgfb.org) Satori Men's Chorus welcomes new members of all ages and races, regardless of sexual orientation or musi cal background, to join Wednesday rehearsals No audi tion necessary. I5O3-242-4244. www.satorkhonjs.org.) General Asian & Pacific Islander Lesbians and Gays is a non profit community voce for gay, lesbian and bi Asian and Pacific Islanders. Activities include potlucks, recreation al outings and cultural events. Friendly environment to meet and connect with other API. IPO Box 12661, Portland, OR 97232. aplg jdx@yahoo.com.) Bad Girts is a social and educational leather and B/D/S/M dub for self-identified women with an empha sis on safety and education. Workshops, discussions, events and parties. Women of all onentations can con nect and ask questions during the Kinky Women's Welcoming Munch at 7 pm every second Tuesday. 1503-972-2233. www.pdxbadgirls.net.) Bisexual Community Forum is a space to meet people and freely discuss issues relevant to the bi community at 3 Friends Coffeehouse. Everyone is welcome. 17:30 pm first Monday. 201SE 12th Ave. Laury 503-285-4848J Bookwomen is a lesbian discussion group that meets monthly to share stories, favorite authors, top 10 lists and opinions and reviews of the assigned book. 1503-684-0305. mikkata@comcast.net.) Border Riders Motorcycle Club provides social oppor tunities for gay men interested in recreational motorcycle touring and promotes education on safe and legal machinery. 1503-281-4488. brmcpm@yahoo.com.) Cascade Flyers are gay, lesbian and bi aviators, both private and professional, in Washington, Oregon and southern British Columbia. Dinner meetings in Portland area. 1503-701-7922. casfiyers@yahoo.com. www.geocities.com/casfiyers.) A Common Bond is a social support network for former or questioning Jehovah's Witnesses who are queer, facbportland@webtv.net.) Coqsure is a social group for people who were assigned a female sex at birth but identify otherwise (female-to-male, genderqueer, drag king, etc.). First Sunday meetings are open to partners and families of any configuration. 1503-471-1515. groups.yahoo.com/ group/coqsure.) Dungeon Men PDX hosts a men’s S/M party every other month in a Portland dungeon. Masters and novices always welcome. 1503-281-2076. bighnboy@ aracnet.com.) FAG. PDX (Femme Affinity Group Portland), a radical activist and social group open to self-identified femmes of all genders, seeks to create solidarity among femmes, promote femme visibility and combat femmephobia in the community at large. Iwww.notsorry.org/fagpdx.) 50+ lesbian social group for women meets on the third Saturday of the month. 14-7 pm. 503-642-3360 or 971-216-1173. sutaybg@aol.com.) FTM Pacific NW OR b WA is a social and discussion group for female-to-male trans men. Igroups. yahoo.com/group/FTM_PacificNWJ Funny Ladies, a social group for nice lesbians 35 and older as well as their friends and loved ones, holds potlucks on the second Saturday of each month. Iflataps@yahoo.com.) Gay Men Who Have Lost Their Partners meets at the West Cafe to provide an opportunity for conversation and socializing. The death need not have occurred recently. (7:30 pm second Wednesday. 1201 SW Jefferson St. 503-701-9376.) Genealogy group forming. Gather with other lesbian researchers to trace your family tree and tackle "brick- wall" female ancestors. Ifamhistnw@aol.com.) Happy Ours Productions is a grassroots group dedicat ed to building the visibility, community participation and collective leadership of lesbian women of color through a wide variety of social, networking, consciousness- raising and action-oriented activities, events and projects. Iwww.happyoursproductions.com.) Imperial Sovereign Rose Court of Oregon is the old est gay, lesbian, bi and trans social/fund-raising organ ization in the state of Oregon. Meetings are the first two Mondays of each month. Iwwwrosecourt.org.) Jewish Gay Men's Group—please call for meeting time and place. 1503-246-5939. efraimlevi@aol.com J Keshet is a social connection group for queer Jews and their spouses, partners, significant others and good friends, whether Jewish or not. It meets month ly for potluck dinners and special events. /David 503-226-7079, ext. 14, or Mike 503-331-1111.) - Lesbian Garden Club is a group of women who love gardens and gardening. They exchange plants, seeds, advice and encouragement while having a good time. ■ Just Out Call for a copy of the newsletter and information about upcoming events I Linda 503-909-2002 ) Lesbians with Degrees is a social group that was started for degreed women, but no degree is neces sary. Just come and join the fun! Pool parties, Scrabble and more. ILani 503-233-3557. Join listserv at LesbianswDegrees-subscribe@yahoogroups com.) Lulu's Pervy Playhouse is a social group for self identifying women who are into S/M. Play parties are held on the second Saturday of the month. 1503-231-3992. dykedadi@comcast.net. www.lulus pervyplayhouse.org.) Men Over 40 is a small, socially supportive group that meets second and fourth Thursdays. ¡503-777-1376.) Night in Black Leather and The Leather Duck Chib are the first and third Friday of each month at Gail's Dirty Duck Tavern. 19 pm-midnight. 439 NW Third Ave. 503-224-8446 orleatherfrat@yahoo com.) Oregon Men Enjoying Naturism is a social organiza tion for gay male naturists/nudists. Social gathering . second Saturday of every month. Iomenpdx@omen pdx.org. www.omenpdx.org.) POX FTM is a social group for female-to-male trans men and their significant others, friends, families and allies. lgroups.yahoo.com/group/PDX_FTM.) The gay Pinochle Group meets Sundays at Hobo's. Come play cards and meet the gang. New players always welcome. 16 pm. 120 NW Third Ave. Mike 503-641-7224J Poder Latino is a nonprofit social community voice group for gay, lesbian, bi and trans people that reach es out to Latinos and Latinas by organizing events and retreats and advocating HIV prevention. Meets every other Monday at Outside In. 16:30 pm. 1030 SW 13th Ave. Hugo 503-997-8615 orAudencio 503-261-5463.) Polyamory Circle is a gathering for folks exploring options beyond monogamy. Discussions include open relationships, extended families and intentional communities. Everyone is welcome. (7:30 pm third Monday. Laury 503-285-4848 ) Portland Leather Alliance is one of the largest pan- sexual, nonprofit B/D/S/M, leather and fetish lifestyle organizations in the Northwest. Regular social and edu cational opportunities, including KinkFest, Leather Ball and Fall Vendors Fair. Iwww.pdxleatheralliance.org.) Portland Leather Men meet every second Saturday for potluck and socializing. Meet men into a leather lifestyle and keep abreast of leather happenings. No dues, no formal organization, no officers or board, just leather socialization for the past 21 years. 1360-896-6665 plm@direcway.com.) Portland Lesbian Book Club gathers monthly to chat about a chosen book or to attend selected events. 16:30pm third Tuesday, groups.yahoo.com/ group/portlandlesbianbookclub.) Portland Lesbian Network organizes brewpub visits, golf events, hiking, kayaking, cycling. Scrabble games and movie nights and keeps you aware of what's going on in the area. IPDXLesbianNetwork-subscribe@ yahoogroups.com.) Portland Metro Prime Timers is a social group for mature gay men and those who appreciate them, com ing together for social, educational and cultural purpos es. IPO Box 5884, Portland, OR 97228. 503-286-4613 or 360-693-5506. pdxprimetimers@yahoo.com. www.geocibes.com/pdxprimetimers.) Rainriders Motorcycle Club meets weekly at the Roxy. Ride your bike or just come meet the group. Everyone welcome. 110 am Sunday. 1121 SW Stark St. www.pdx-rrmc.com.) Rose City Discussion Club, the largest and oldest open pansexual/alternative sexuality club in the Northwest, is open to all orientations, fetishes and lifestyles that are safe, sane and consensual. Monthly meetings, social, workshops and newsletter. Ircdc@teleport.com. www.rcdc.org.) Sappho Social Club is a group of women 40 years and older building community through social and cultural activities. Ithesapphosocialclub@yahoo.comj Social OUTings is a social group for all interested in meeting people and doing activities other than bar hopping. lkyleinportland@Yahoo.com.) Soyboys Vegetarian Men's Group is a fun, social gathering for gay and bi men who are interested in a healthy vegetarian or vegan lifestyle. A variety of activities and monthly potlucks on the last Saturday. fveggieguys@aol. com.) Women of the Rivers, the Portland/Vancouver chapter of Women on Wheels Motorcycle International, encourages women who love to nde to gather for good times, support and growth in the sport through social meetings, professional seminars, rider training and organized and pickup rides. Monthly meetings at MacTamahan s Taproom. (6:30 pm second Thursday. 2730 NW 31st Ave. wwwwomenofthenvers org.) Physical Recreation Adventure Group organizes a variety of activities year round, including hiking, walking, cross country and downhill skiing, rafting and mountain biking. IPO Box 2201, Portland. OR 97208-2201. wwwadventuregroup.org.) .......... Amazon Dragons Paddling Club invites women 16 and older to join Portland's only out lesbian dragon boat team. Be part of the fun and fitness with this dynamic group. Iwww.amamndragons.org) Fits Bowling invites you to come j«n this fun, friend ly, alternative league at AMF Pro 300 Lanes. 17 pm Friday. 3031 SE Powell Blvd. 503-234-0237.) The Forest Group outings are cooperative adventures for women. Participants are responsible for providing their own equipment and choosing outings appropriate for their skill and fitness level. All skill levels welcome. 1503-772-1860. imnoregon@comcast.net. wwwgeo cities, com/ncc 1127/forestpdx.) Gay Men’s Walking Group invites gay, bi and ques tioning men to stroll in various neighborhoods around Portland for fun, friendship and exercise. (10 am Saturday. Tom 503-984-4549J Gay Women's Golf Group welcomes all levels of play ers. Iwww.turfgiri2.com.) Lesbian Equestrian Group gets together for equestn- an activities in the Pacific Northwest. ¡Denise 503-654-3865. Lynn 503-777-2339. kelrav@rdrop.com.) Out Dancing teaches dancing for same-sex couples at Ankeny Street Studio. Classes for different dance styles start the first Friday of each month: country, swing, tango, cha-cha, etc. Cail for schedule. 1503-236-5129. out_dandng@yahoo.com. home.att.net/~outdanang.) OutKayaking, Portland's gay and lesbian sea kayak group, explores the lakes, rivers and bays of north west Oregon and southwest Washington. (www.out kayaking.org.) PDX Pride Bowing League is recruiting for fun games Friday nights September through April. finfo@pdx pndebowl.com.) PDX NetRippers is Portland's queer soccer organization with competitive indoor soccer, outdoor scrimmages, practices for all levels and regional tournaments. (Kyle bendoverbeckham@gmailcom. www.myspace.com/ netrippers.) Portland Gay b Lesbian Bowling Association celebrates 30 years with its 2007-08 season. Meets Sundays from Labor Day through Memorial Day at Hollywood Bowl. Drop-ins welcome anytime. (3:30 pm. 4030 NE Halsey St. Mailing address: PO Box 42034, Portland, OR 97232. 503-693-6261. pdxbowl@yahoo.com www.pdxbowl.com.) Portland Gay Basketball Association welcomes all skill levels. Igroups.yahoo.com/group/PortlandGay BasketballAssociation) Whether you're a running novice or a seasoned marathoner, Portland Frontrunners welcomes gay, lesbian, bi and trans people of all abilities and interests. (Gary info@portlandfrontrunners.org. www.portland frontrunners.org.) Rosetown Ramblers, Portland's gay and lesbian square dance club, dances at mainstream and plus lev els. IPO Box 5352, Portland, OR 97228-5352. www.rosetownramblers.com.) Ruby Red Flippers, a group of gay and lesbian scuba divers in the Portland area, teaches new recruits and takes dives in Tacoma, Hood Canal and other Pacific Northwest waters. Irubyredflippers@yahoo.com. wwwnjbyredflippers.org.) She Rocks, a supportive rock climbing group for les bians 18 and older, organizes year-round climbing and training events chosen according to skill level. Monthly meetings are held at Bagdad Pub. ¡6:30-7:30 pm sec ond Thursday. 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd, www.she rocks.wetpaint.com.) Team Tennis meets Sundays at University of Portland. All levels of play welcome. First time is free, subse quent times are $7. Please join us! (8 am-noon. 503-788-8192. teamportlandtennis@yahoo. com.) YOUTH Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE) is the only international organization specif ically supporting young people with sexual minority parents. Icolage@lmfamily.org. www.colage.org.) Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. 112700 SW North Dakota St., Suite 180 ft 129, Tigard, OR 97223. 503-525-1177. glsen@glsenoregon.org. wwwglsenoregon.org.) House of MOCHA (Men of Color Healthy b Aware) is a group of gay/bi/same-gender-loving men of color between 16 and 25 who want to engage in activities, socials and community events among their peers. IKourtm 503-417-7991. www.brotobrofxix.orgj Pride Project brings together Washington County queer and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly social events. Also information, referral and advocacy services in Washington County. ¡Austin 503-260-5792. austin@prideproiect.org.) Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center (SMYRC) offers support, recreation, counseling and referral to gay, lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and younger. Drop-in computer access, pool tables and an informal place to hang out. Weekly trans, leadership and art support group meetings. ¡4-9 pm Wednesday, 4-11 pm Friday. 2100 SE Belmont St. 503-872-9664 wwwsmyrc.org.) ibwsS'Ons SChfOlr^d e»C ratiO»’ de )te bst.ngs re automatically deleted i. Ki-qtou|s Compiete s’"gsarea\,ai ar?<e online at www.ustout com and mciu Send i«st;ngs to Just Out idtf Calendar' P0 Be* 14400 Poman<< OR 97293 0400. Fa« si.p-’ ss rupted 's? ng p'tase st OutReacIi s! : ’ ■ ' iinont'es community All 1 stings are Si Long-Distance Dilemma Can I justify going to a lesbian tantric workshop without telling my partner? D ear M s . B ehavior : I’m in a long-distance relationship with a great woman who lives two hours away. We see each other most weekends but are limited to phone calls during the week. Living togeth er won’t be possible for at least two years, after her daughter graduates from high school. I’m not really interested in dating other people, but I’m lone ly. Although my girlfriend and I talk ev£ry night, spending 20- plus days of the month without physical affection is hard for me. I’ve heard about a lesbian tantric workshop that meets every Wednesday in my hometown, and I’m curious. I called for infor mation and was told that it’s OK to-attend with or without a partner. There’s no actual sex during the workshop, but people try things out with different partners and there’s an emphasis on “touching and intimacy.” I’m excited by the thought of this, but I’m afraid that if I tell my partner about it, she’ll say she doesn’t want me to go. Is there any way I can justify going without telling her? —I Wanna Sneak D ear I W anna S neak : Ah, The Slippery Slope of the Monogamous Lesbian and the Tantric Workshop! Can you justify attending the lovefest without telling your girlfriend? Sure, you could probably justify almost anything. How about if Ms. Behavior provides the rationalization: “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” “It’s not like I’m having sex with the tantric women. I’m just stroking their hair. And their faces. And their breasts....” Or even, “My relationship will be even better if I’m more fulfilled.” That all may be true, but the bigger question is what effect keeping a juicy secret will have on your relationship. If you and your partner didn’t have an agreement about monogamy, there’d be no need to seek advice. Given that you and she talk every day, omitting any mention of Tantra Night would involve a string of lies. How would you respond to the “How was your day? What did you do tonight?” phone call on Wednesdays? If you say you’ve joined a Scrabble team or a bowling league, what happens when you continue to throw gutter balls or don’t learn any new two-letter words, but become an increasingly focused and attentive lover? The nitty-gritty details of the tantric lezzie activities (whether or not they involve “actual sex”) matter less than being truthful with your partner: Even if you merely engage in some innocent fire breathing and chakra stroking, you’ll be violating your shared understanding about the relation ship. There’s nothing wrong per se with nuzzling and dancing and chanting with other women or even kissing them and massaging their G spots, if your girlfriend knows what’s going on and is will ing to live with it. If your relationship isn’t meeting your needs, you need to say so, which could lead to discus sion to address the problem or to a compromise that works for you both. Try to be open-minded. And maybe next weekend you and your girlfriend could rent Hearts Cracked Open, a documentary about lesbian tantra. D ear M s . B ehavior : What do you do when an ex wants you back and you’re afraid you’ll give in? My ex Brian broke up with me in an extremely nasty way last summer, telling me that I was “too boring.” 1 was hurt and even depressed for a couple of months. A couple of weeks ago, Brian e-mailed me out of the blue and told me that he misses me and that he’s lonely without me. I knew I shouldn’t respond, but I wrote to him anyway. Then he wrote three more e-mails asking when we can talk, which makes me wonder if he wants to get back together. If he does, should I take him back? I did love him. Do people ever change? Does a mean person always stay mean? —James D ear J ames : Because of the sweet hopefulness coming through your letter (like an innocent belief in Santa Claus), Ms. Behavior feels reluctant to tell you that, in general, people don’t ever really change. If it’s Brian’s nature to be mean, he’ll be mean, even if he occasionally tempers it with confusing peri- <xls of kindness. When someone has been “extremely nasty” in a breakup and you have little resist ance to that person (as indicated by your inability to ignore your ex’s initial e-mail, even though you knew it would be better not to respond), you can’t afford to open the door. It’s over; he doesn’t get to be with you again just because he’s having a moment of loneliness. You don’t have to delude yourself into thinking it will be different this time. Protecting yourself now will spare you the pain of being tossed aside again when he moves from lonely to bored. • >onth prior to the expiirafron date MERYL C ohn is the author of Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette. Signed copies are available directly from the author. Send questions or correspondence to msbehavior@aol. com.
