___________________________________________________________________ AUGUST 3, 2007
ing and treatment for sexually transmitted diseases,
Gay Men Who Have Lost Their Partners meets at
Soyboys Vegetarian Men's Group is a fun, social
HIV testing and hepatitis A and B vaccinations By
the West Cafe to provide an opportunity for conversa
appointment or walk-in. Most insurance plans accept
ed; sliding-scale fee Se habla espahol (9 am-4 30pm
Monday-Friday except 12 30-4 30 pm Wednesday
426 SW Stark St., Sixth Floor 503-988-3700.)
tion and socializing. The death need not have occurred
gathering for gay and bi men who are interested in
a healthy vegetarian or vegan lifestyle. A variety of
recently. (7:30 pm second Wednesday
Jefferson St 503-701-9376 )
1201 SW
activities and monthly potlucks on the last Saturday
(veggieguys@aol com)
Genealogy group forming. Gather with other lesbian
researchers to trace your family tree and tackle "bnck-
Women of the Rivers, the Portland/Vancouver chapter
of the Women on Wheels Motorcycle Club, meets
wall* female ancestors (famhistnw@aol com )
monthly at Elmer's, sponsors riding clinics and takes
SOCIAL
Arts & Music
Confluence: The Willamette Valley Mixed GALA
Chorus rehearses Sundays at Unitarian Umversalist
Congregation of Salem. (4-6:30 pm 5090 Center St NE
Happy Ours Productions is a grassroots group dedicat
day tnps (7 15 pm second Thursday 9848 N Whitaker
ed to building the visibility, community participation and
Road www womenoftherivers org.)
collective leadership of lesbian women of color through
a wide variety of social, networking, consciousness
raising and action-oriented activities,
events and
Physical Recreation
503-364-2370 confluence@aol com www confluence
projects, (www happyoursproductions com)
Adventure Group organizes a variety of activities
chorus org.)
Imperial Sovereign Rose Court of Oregon is the old
Creative Connection (formerly Real Connection) is
est gay, lesbian, bi and trans socialdund-ratsing organ
ization in the state of Oregon. Meetings are the first
two Mondays of each month (www rosecourt org)
year round, including hiking, walking, cross-country
and downhill skiing, rafting and mountain biking.
a social gathering for gay men who are artists, writers
or musicians or who pursue some creative activity.
Noncommercial, nonjudgmental; supporting personal
creativity for novices and professionals alike. Monthly
potlucks on the second Friday (7 pm. Carl
503-284 2971.)
Film discussion group forming for gay, bi and trans
men. Share your perspective regarding portrayals of
sexual minority men in current films. Monthly
activities include group
tfilmtalk@verizon.net.)
outings
to
see zlilms.
*
Foreign Film Group meets every second and fourth
Sunday to screen foreign films at various venues, fol
Jewish Gay Men's Group
please call for meeting
time and place. (503-246-5939 efraimlevi@aol.com)
Keshet is a social connection group for queer Jews
and their spouses, partners, significant others and
good friends, whether Jewish or not. It meets month
ly for potluck dinners and special events. (David
‘ 503-226-7079, ext. 14, or Mike 503-331-1111.)
(PO
Box
Portland,
2201,
OR
97208-2201
www adventuregroup. org.)
Amazon Dragons Paddling Club invites women 16
and older to join Portland's only out lesbian dragon
boat team Be part of the fun and fitness with this
dynamic group, (wwwamazondragons.org.)
The Forest Group outings are cooperative adventures
for women. Participants are responsible for providing
their own equipment and choosing outings appropriate
for their skill and fitness level All skill levels welcome.
Lesbian Garden Club is a group of women who love
(503-772-1860 imnoregon@comcast.net wwwgeo
gardens and gardening. They exchange plants, seeds,
cities.com/ncc 1127/forestpdx)
advice and encouragement while having a good time
Call for a copy of the newsletter and information about
Gay Men s Walking Group invites gay, bi and ques
upcoming events (Linda 503-909-2002)
tionmg men to stroll in various neighborhoods around
Portland for fun, friendship and exercise. (10 am
Portland Gay Men s Chorus is open to singers,
Lesbians with Degrees is a social group that was
Saturday Tom 503-984-4549)
support members and volunteers. 1503-226-2588
www.pdxgmc.org.)
started for degreed women, but no degree is neces
sary. Just come and join the fun! Pool parties,
lowed by a group discussion, (pdxgayfilm@yahoocom.)
Gay Women's GoH Group welcomes all levels of play
ers. (www turfgirlz.com.)
Portland Lesbian Choir is an informal, nonaudition
Scrabble and more (Lam 503-233-3557 Join listserv
community chorus for women of all ages to sing,
at LesbianswOegrees subscribe@yahoogroups com.)
Lesbian Equestrian Group gets together for equestrian
socialize and share songs, melodies and talents.
Directed by Ray Elliot, a talented and experienced
Lulu's Pervy Playhouse is a social group for self
activities in the Pacific
identifying women who are into S/M Play parties are
503 654 3865 Lynn 503 777 2339 ketrav@rdrop com)
Northwest.
(Denise
leader. New members welcome to rehearsals at
Ainsworth United Church of Christ on an open enroll
(503-231-3992 dykedadi@comcast.net www lulus
Net Rippers is a gay men s indoor soccer team that's
just starting up in Portland. (bendoverbeckham@
ment through fall 2006. (6:30-8:30 pm Wednesday.
pervyplayhouse org.)
gmail com www myspace. com/netrippers.)
Men Over 40 is a small, socially supportive group that
meets second and fourth Thursdays. (503-777 1376 )
Out Dancing teaches dancing for same sex couples at
Ankeny Street Studio. Classes for different dance styles
Night in Black Leather and The Leather Ouck Club
are the first and third Friday of each month at Gail's
start the first Friday of each month: country, swing,
tango, cha cha, etc. Call for schedule (503 236-5129
2941 NE Ainsworth St 503-727-3306 portlandlesbian
choir@hotmail. com. www. plchoir, org.)
Rose City Gay Freedom Band is a performance group
for queers and supportive friends of varying musical
skill levels with annual fall and spring concerts.
Subgroups include the Rose City Swing band and a
held
on
the
Saturday
second
of
the
month.
Dirty Duck Tavern. (9 pm-midmght 439 NW Third Ave
out dancmg@yahoo com home att net/-outdancing)
503-224-8446 orleatherfrat@yahoo. corn!
OutKayaking. Portland's gay and lesbian sea kayak
(503 790-2170 mfo@rcgfb org. www.rcgfb.org.)
Oregon Men Enjoying Naturism is a social organization
for gay male natunsts/nudists. Social gathering second
group, explores the lakes, rivers and bays of north
west Oregon and southwest Washington, (www out
marching band with flag corps. Come join us!
Satori Men's Chorus welcomes new members of all
Saturday of every month, (omenpdx@omenpdx.org.
kayakmg.org.)
ages and races, regardless of sexual orientation or
www omenpdx org)
musical background, to join Wednesday rehearsals.
No audition necessary. (503-299-4454 www. satori
PDX FTM is a social group for female-to-male trans
PDX Pride Bowling League is recruiting for fun
games Friday nights September through April.
men and their significant others, friends, families and
(info@pdxpridebowl. com.)
chorus.org.)
General
allies, (groups yahoo. com/group/PDX_FTM.)
Portland
The gay Pinochle Group meets Sundays at Hobo's
Come play cards and meet the gang. New players
Association is in its 28th season! Meets Sundays at
always welcome. (6 pm
Asian b Pacific Islander Lesbians and Gays is a non
120 NW Third Ave Mike
Gay
b
Lesbian
Community
Bowling
Hollywood Bowl. Drop-ins welcome anytime. (3:30 pm
4030 NE Halsey St Mailing address PO Box 42034,
Portland, OR 97242 503 722 0438 pdxbowl@
503-641 -7224)
profit community voice for gay, lesbian and bi Asian and
Comcast net www pdxbowl com)
al outings and cultural events. Friendly environment to
Poder Latino is a nonprofit social community voice
group for gay, lesbian, bi and trans people that reach
meet and connect with other API. (PO Box 12661,
es out to Latinos and Latinas by organizing events and
Tubman Middle School. All skill levels welcome!
Portland, OR 97232. aplgjtdx@yahoo.com.)
retreats and advocating HIV prevention. Meets every
other Monday at Outside In. (6:30pm 1030 SW 13th
hoops@yahoo. com.)
Pacific Islanders. Activities include potlucks, recreation
Bad Girts is a social and educational leather and
B/D/S/M club for self-identified women with an empha
sis on safety and education. Workshops, discussions,
events and parties. Women of all orientations can
connect and ask questions during the Kinky Women's
Welcoming Munch at 7 pm every second Tuesday
Border Riders Motorcycle Club provides social oppor
tunities for gay men interested in recreational motorcy
cle touring and promotes education on safe and legal
machinery (503-281 4488. brmcprez@yahoo com.)
Cascade Flyers are gay, lesbian and bi aviators, both
private and professional, in Washington, Oregon and
southern Bntish Columbia Dinner meetings in Portland
(503-701-7922
Portland Leather Alliance is one of the largest pan-
sexual, nonprofit B/D/S/M, leather and fetish lifestyle
casflyers@yahoo.com
www. geocities com/casflyers)
A Common Bond is a social support network for
former or questioning Jehovah's Witnesses who are
queer (acbportland@webtv.net.)
Coqsure is a social group for people who were assigned
a female sex at birth but identify otherwise (female-to-
male, genderqueer, drag king, etc ). First Sunday meet
ings are open to partners and families of any configura
tion. (503-471-1515. groups yahoo com/group/coqsure.)
Dungeon Men PDX hosts a men's S/M party every
(7:30-9:30 pm Monday. 2231 N Flint Ave pdxgay
Whether you're a running novice or a seasoned
marathoner, Portland Frontrunners welcomes gay,
lesbian, bi and trans people of all abilities and
organizations in the Northwest. Regular social and
interests
educational opportunities, including KinkFest, Leather
www portlandfrontrunners.org)
Ball and Fall Vendors Fair, (www pdxleatheralliance org)
(503-972-2231 www.pdxbadgirls net)
area
Ave Hugo 503-997-8615 or Audencio 503-261 5463)
Portland Gay Basketball Association practices at
(Gary
mfo@portlandfrontrunnersorg
largest gay sports organization, for open and women’s
for potluck and socializing Meet men into a leather
lifestyle and keep abreast of leather happenings. No
divisions of slow-pitch softball Regular season games
are played throughout the summer at Gordon Faber
leather
socialization
for
the
past
21
years
(360-896-6665. plm@direcway.com.)
Recreational Complex in Hillsboro All levels of experi
ence
are
welcome
(4450
NW
229th
Ave.
www. rosecitysoftball org)
Portland Lesbian Book Club gathers monthly to chat
Rosetown Ramblers, Portland's gay and lesbian
about a chosen book or to attend selected events.
square dance club, dances at mainstream and plus
(6:30 pm third Tuesday groups yahoo.com/group/port
levels. (PO Box 5352, Portland, OR 97228 5352
landlesbianbookclub)
www rosetownramblers, com.)
Portland Lesbian Network organizes brewpub visits,
Ruby Red Flippers, a group of gay and lesbian scuba
golf events, hiking, kayaking, cycling, Scrabble games
and movie nights and keeps you aware of what's going
divers in the Portland area, teaches new recruits and
takes dives in Tacoma, Hood Canal and other Pacific
on in the area (PDXLesbianNetwork-subscribe@
yahoogroups com.)
www. rubyredflippers org)
Northwest
waters.
(rjbyredflippers@yahoocom.
Portland Metro Prime Timers is a social group for
She Rocks, a supportive rock climbing group for
mature gay men and those who appreciate them,
coming together for social, educational and cultural
lesbians 18 and older, organizes year-round climbing
and training events chosen according to skill level.
Monthly meetings are held at Bagdad Pub
purposes. (PO Box 5884, Portland, OR 97228
503-286-4613 or 360-693-5506 pdxprimetimers@
(6:30-7:30 pm second Thursday 3702 SE Hawthorne
novices always welcome. (503-281-2076 bighnboy@
aracnet.com.)
yahoo com www geocities com/pdxprimetimers)
Blvd www sherocks. wetpaint com.)
Rainriders Motorcycle Club meets weekly at the
Team Tennis meets Sundays at University of Portland
F.A.G. POX (Femme Affinity Group Portland), a radical
Roxy. Ride your bike or just come meet the group
other month in a Portland dungeon
Masters and
activist and social group open to self-identified femmes
Everyone welcome. (10 am Sunday 1121 SW Stark St.
All levels of play welcome. First time is free, subse
quent times are $7. Please join us! (8 am-noon
of all genders, seeks to create solidarity among femmes,
promote femme visibility and combat femmephobia in
www. pdxrrmc. com.)
503- 788-8192 teamportlandtenms@yahoo com)
the community at large (wwwnotsorryorg/fagpdx)
Rose City Discussion Club,
the largest open
pansexual/alternative sexuality club in the Northwest,
third Saturday of the month. (4-7 pm 503 642-3360 or
is open to all orientations, fetishes and lifestyles that
are safe, sane and consensual. Monthly meetings,
503-288-1870 sutaytig@aol.com)
workshops and newsletter. (503-972-1869 rcdc@
50+ lesbian social group for women meets on the
FTM Pacific NW OR b WA is a social and discussion
group
for
female-to-male
trans
(groups yahoo com/group/FTM PacificNW)
men.
teleport.com wwwrcdc.org)
Sappho Social Club is a group of women 40 years
and older building community through social and
cultural activities. (thesapphosocialclub@yahoo com )
YOUTH
Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere
(COLAGE) is the only international organization specif
ically supporting young people with sexual minority
parents (colage@lmfamilyorg www colage org)
Pride Project brings together Washington County queer
older as well as their fnends and loved ones, holds
potlucks on the second Saturday of each month (flataps
meeting people and doing activities other than bar
@yahoo com)
hopping. (kyleinportland@yahoo.com.)
austm @prideproject org. )
Social OUTings is a social group for all interested in
Just Out is published on the first and third Friday of every month The deadline for
submissions is 14 days prior to publication
OutReach listings of up to 50 words are provided free of charge to organizations and
groups specifically serving the sexual minorities community All listings are subject
to editing, and inclusion is subject To space limitations, relevance and receipt by dead
line
Listings expire once a year (in July), and submissions run from the date received until
the npxt scheduled expiration date Listings are automatically deleted upon expira
Reunion provides perfect opportunity
for fearful woman to tiptoe out of the closet
D ear M s . B ehavior :
1 am 47 and have been in a relationship with
a woman for 10 years, but 1 own a business tn a homo-
phobic industry, so I am not out.
1 am going to my Seven Sisters college reunion
next month, and feel like this event will be a way for
me to test the waters and come out. Then, after
reunion weekend, my wife strongly wants me to
come out in all areas of my life; she believes our rela
tionship is being compromised by my “dishonesty.”
However, she is pushing me too hard. 1 am afraid
to come out: 1 am afraid that people will reject me
and that my business will be ruined. 1 am afraid that
my life will fall apart.
Intellectually, 1 know this is irrational, but 1 don’t know how to address my strong
emotions. Can you suggest something that will give me courage?
—Chicken
D ear C hicken :
You’re right; the only thing that will give you the courage to come out in all aspects of
your life (other than? say, a shamanic ritual or a lock of Ms. Behavior’s hair) is trying it in
a safe place—e.g., your college reunion—and having a positive experience. Once you “test
the waters” at your Seven Sisters gathering (perhaps by slipping your college roommate ’
the tongue during high tea) you’ll find it easier to come out in other contexts, too.
And let’s face it: You’re way tcxi old to be languishing in mothballs. Besides, your
partner is fed up. If your relationship is being ruined by your inability to be honest, it’s
time to tell the truth.
You’ve said that you’re afraid of being rejected and that your business will be ruined.
Your industry might be far more open than you think. And because you're your own hoss,
the only homophobia you really need to worry about is your own. In fact, many people
who struggle with coming out eventually learn that their colleagues or clients either
already knew that they were queer or don’t actually care and that the negative feelings '
they anticipated were actually inside them.
Plus, telling the truth has powerful positive consequences. Ms. Behavior predicts that
once you truly feel like yourself, unburdened by apprehension, you’ll be safer and stronger.
You’ll be connected to more of your own power, so you’ll be way better at whatever it is
you do for a living. You’ll make queer connections and gain more business. You’ll be more
attractive, since your face will no longer be scninched up in fear. Your partner will respect
you. Perhaps she’ll appreciate your courage so much that she’ll go down on you every day,
for as long as you both shall live.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
I have an acquaintance I’ll call Steve. Steve and I share an ex, Arthur, who recently
died. There have been many events surrounding Arthur’s death—including a funeral,
memorial service and dinners—so I have seen a lot of Steve.
At each of these events, Steve wears Arthur’s watch, which he claims Arthur gave him,
but I know for a fact that Steve just helped himself to it. Steve is a liar and sometimes
a thief, which is actually the reason he and Arthur weren’t speaking when Arthur died.
This has little to do with me, but it is difficult to sit around at these get-togethers and
hear Steve go on with stories about Arthur as if they were best friends. 1 am also pissed
that he is wearing Arthur’s (very expensive) watch. I’m not saying the watch should be
mine, but I think it should go to someone other than Steve.
I have held my tongue, but I am getting ready to take Steve aside and tell him that
I’m on to his charade. I also want to tell Arthur’s other friends who Steve really is. My
partner says I should keep my mouth shut. What do you think?
—About to Burst
D ear A bout to B urst :
and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly social
events Also information, referral and advocacy servic
es in Washington County (Austin 503 260-5792
Funny Ladies, a social group for nice lesbians 35 and
The Old College Try
Join the Rose City Softball Association, Oregon's
Portland Leather Men meet every second Saturday
dues, no formal organization, no officers or board, just
JUStOUt 33
tion To ensure uninterrupted listing, please submit updated information at least a
month prior to the expiration date Complete listings are available online at
wwwjustout.com
Send listings to Just Out lattn Calendar). P0 Box 14400. Portland, OR 97293 0400;
Fax submissions to 503 236 1257 or email justoiitui justout com Submissions
cannot be accepted over the phone
Please type your announcements and include full contact information
Insincere people invariably reveal themselves to be just that, as do no-good fucking
liars. Anyone who matters to Arthur will soon understand who Steve is and who he isn’t,
without your explaining it to them. Stxin the postmortem events will be over, life will
return to normal, and you won’t have to deal with Steve anymore.
Meanwhile, although Steve sounds annoying and his flaunting of the stolen watch is
upsetting, there’s nothing you can do about it, unless there’s a will that contradicts Steve’s
claim of ownership. Confronting Steve won’t help; he sounds like the kind of person who
believes his own ridiculous stories. As for what other people think, you’re better off
stepping back anti letting Steve’s lies speak for themselves. o
M f .RYL C ohn is the author of Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian
Etiquette. Signed copies are available directly from the author. Send questions or
correspondence to msbehavior@aol.coTn.
•