JULY 6, 2007
SOCIAL
Arts & Music
1
researchers to trace your family tree and tackle "brick
Women of the Rivers, the PordantWancouver chapter of
•
wall" female ancestors (famhistnw@aol com)
the Women on Wheels Motorcycle Club, meets
monthly at Elmer's, sponsors ndmg clinics and takes day
Happy Ours ProductioM is a grassroots group dedicat
ed to building the visibiiity, community participation and
collective leadership of lesbian women of color through
tnps (7:15 pm second Thursday 9848 N Whitaker
Four Play
projects, (wwwhappyoursproductions com )
Physical Recreation
Old-fashioned lesbians fret
about nonmonogamous new pals
Imperial Sovereign Rose Court of Oregon is the old
Adventure Group organizes a variety of activities
D ear M s . B ehavior :
year round, including hiking, walking, cross-country
a social gathering for gay men who are artists,
est gay, lesbian, bi and trans social/fund-raising organ
ization in the state of Oregon Meetings are the first
writers or musicians or who pursue some creative
activity. Noncommercial, nonjudgmental; supporting
two Mondays of each month, (www rosecourt org)
Confluence: The WiMemette Valley Mixed GALA
Chorus rehearses Sundays at Unitarian Universalist
Congregation of Salem. (4-630pm. 5090 Center St NE
503-364-2370 confluence@aol com www. confluence
chorus org)
Creative Connection (formerly Real Connection) is
raising and action-oriented activities, events and
personal creativity for novices and professionals
Jewish Gay Men's Group—please call for meeting
alike. Monthly potlucks on the second Friday. (7 pm.
Cart 503-284-2971.)
time and place. (503-246-5939 efraimlevi@aol.com.)
Film discussion group forming for gay, bi and trans
and their spouses, partners, significant others and
men. Share your perspective regarding portrayals of
good friends, whether Jewish or not. ft meets month
Monthly
ly for potluck dinners and special events. (David
sexual minority men in current films.
activities include group
ffilmtalk@vemon.net)
outings
to
see
films
Keshet is a social connection group for queer Jews
Portland Lesbian Choir is an informal, nonaudition com
munity chorus for women of all ages to sing, socialize
and share songs, melodies and talents. Directed by Ray
and older to join Portland's only out lesbian dragon
boat team. Be part of the fun and fitness with this
dynamic group (wwwamazondragons org)
The Forest Group outings are cooperative adven
Participants are responsible for
tures for women
advice and encouragement while having a good time.
Call for a copy of the newsletter and information about
support members and volunteers. (503-226-2588
Amazon Dragons Paddling Club invites women 16
providing their own equipment and choosing outings
appropriate for their skill and fitness level. All skill
gardens and gardening. They exchange plants, seeds,
www.pdxgmc.org)
www adventuregroup org.)
Lesbian Garden Club is.a group of women who love
Foreign Film Group meets every second and fourth
Portland Gay Man's Chorus is open to singers,
and downhill skiing, rafting and mountain biking.
(P0 Box 2201,
Portland.
OR 97208 2201.
503 226 7079, ext. 14. or Mike 503-331-1111.)
Sunday to screen foreign films at various venues, fol
lowed by a group discussion. (pdxgayfHm@yahoo.com.)
Road www womenofthenvers.org.)
a wide variety of social, networking, consciousness
levels welcome (503-772-1860. imnoregon@com
cast net www geocities, com/ncc 1127/forestpdx)
Gay Men's Walking Group invites gay, bi and ques
upcoming events (Linda 503-909-2002.)
Lesbians with Degrees is a social group that was
started for degreed women, but no degree is neces
sary. Just come and join the fun! Pool parties, Scrabble
tioning men to stroll in vanous neighborhoods around
Portland for fun, friendship and exercise. (10 am
Saturday Tom 503-984-4549.)
and more. (Lam 503-233-3557. Join listserv at
Gay Women's GoH Group welcomes all levels of
LesbianswDegrees-subscribe@Yahoogroupscom.)
players, (www turfgir1z.com.)
Elliot, a talented and expenenced leader New members
Lulu's Pervy Playhouse is a social group for self
Lesbian Equestrian Group gets together for equestrian
welcome to rehearsals at Ainsworth United Church of
identifying women who are into S/M. Play parties are
activities
Christ on an open enrollment through fall 2006.
held
(6:30-8:30 pm Wednesday 2941 NE Ainsworth St.
503-727-3306
portlandlesbianchoir@hotmail.com
www.plchoirorg.)
on
the
second
of
Saturday
the
month
(503-231-3992. dykedadi@comcast.net www lulus
pervyplayhouse org.)
in
the
Pacific
Northwest.
(Denise
503-654-3865. Lynn 503 777-2339 kBkav@rdrop.com.)
Net Rippers is a gay men s indoor soccer team that's
just starting up in Portland
(bendoverbeckham@
gmailcom www myspace.com/netnppers I
Rose City Gay Freedom Band is a performance group
Men Over 40 is a small, socially supportive group that
meets second and fourth Thursdays. (503-777-1376.)
for queers and supportive friends of varying musical
Night in Black Leather and The Leather Duck Club
Ankeny Street Studio Classes for different dance styles
skill levels with annual fall and spring concerts.
Subgroups include the Rose City Swing band and
are the first and third Friday of each month at Gail's
start the first Fnday of each month: country, swing,
Dirty Duck Tavern. (9 pm-midmght. 439 NW Third Ave
tango, cha-cha, etc Call for schedule. (503-236-5129
a marching band with flag corps. Come join us!
503-224-8446 orieatherfrat@yahoo com.)
out dancmg@yahoo com home att net/
(503-790-2170. mfo@rcgfb.org wwwrcgfb.org.)
Satori Men's Chorus welcomes new members of all
OutKayaking Portland's gay and lesbian sea kayak
for gay male naturists/nudists Social gathenng second
group, explores the lakes, rivers and bays of
northwest Oregon and southwest Washington.
Saturday of every month
musical background, to join Wednesday rehearsals
www. omenpdx org.)
chorus.org.)
General
(omenpdx@omenpdx org
(www. outkayakmg. org)
PDX FTM is a social group for female-to-male trans
Portland Gay b Lesbian Community Bowling
men and their significant others, friends, families and
Association is in its 28th season! Meets Sundays at
allies, (groups yahoo.com/group/PDX_FTM.)
Hollywood Bowl. Drop-ins welcome anytime
(3:30 pm. 4030 NE Halsey St Mailing address:
The gay Pinochle Group meets Sundays at Hobo's.
Asian b Pacific Islander Lesbians and Gays is a non
profit community voice for gay, lesbian and bi Asian and
Pacific Islanders Activities include potlucks, recreation
Come play cards and meet the gang New players
always welcome. (6 pm
120 NW Third Ave. Mike
Poder Latino is a nonprofit social community voice
meet and connect with other API. (PO Box 12661,
Portland. OR 97232 aplg jxix@yahoo.com.)
group for gay, lesbian, bi and trans people that reach
B/D/S/M club for self-identified women with an empha
sis on safety and education. Workshops, discussions,
P0 Box 42034. Portland. OR 97242 503 722 0438
pdxbowl@comcast.net wwwpdxbowlcom )
Portland Gay Basketball Association practices at
503-641-7224.)
al outings and cultural events. Fnendly environment to
Bad Giris is a social and educational leather and
outdancing)
Oregon Men Enjoying Naturism is a social organization
ages and races, regardless of sexual orientation or
No audition necessary. (503-299-4454. wwwsatori
Out Dancing teaches dancing for same sex couples at
es out to Latinos and Latmas by organizing events and
Tubman Middle School. All skill levels welcome!
(7:30-9:30 pm Monday 2231 N Flint Ave pdxgay
hoops@yahoo com.)
retreats and advocating HIV prevention. Meets every
other Monday at Outside In. (6:30 pm 1030 SW 13th
Whether you’re a running novice or a seasoned
Ave Hugo 503-997-8615 orAudencio 503-261-5463.)
lesbian, bi and trans people of all abilities and
events and parties. Women of all onentations can con
Portland Leather Alliance is one of the largest pan
marathoner, Portland Frontrunners welcomes gay,
interests.
(Gary
mfo@portlandfrontrunners org
www portlandfrontrunners org)
justputlaa
My partner, Sally, and I have become friends
with a hip, younger couple I’ll call Miranda and
Mae. Soon after we recently mutually confessed
a couple-crush on them and them on us, they
asked us over for dinner so they could tell us that
they had a nonmonogamous relationship. In fact,
at the moment Miranda is “seeing someone else.”
They were nervous telling us this because they
didn’t want to change the nature of our friendship;
they really have enjoyed having us as new pals.
Sally and I are old-fashioned, and we are not
sure we can handle this kind of arrangement in
BY MERYL COHN
our new friends. Mostly, we are afraid that
Miranda and Mae will want to have sex with us or, worse, with one of us. We are
freaked out and don’t know what to do. Miranda and Mae are great and we want to
stay friends, but we don’t want any funny business.
Should we tell them we are not sexually interested in them? Should we cool our
friendship off? Should we find new friends?
—Nervous Older Couple
Ms. Behavior
D ear N ervous O lder C ouple :
Miranda and Mae might be nonmonogamous, but don’t flatter yourself; it doesn’t mean
they’re itching to pounce on you. Your assumption is cutely naive; you sound like straight
women who are scared to be friends with lesbians, for fear that the lesbians will be over
come with sudden uncontrollable desire to have sex with them. As if you couldn’t say no.
As if you’re not sure you’d want to say no. Oh. Perhaps that’s what’s so confusing.
Why are you so freaked out? If you trust your own ability to maintain gtxxl
boundaries, there’s no reason to get weird or withdraw or find new friends. What’s the
worst that could happen, really, even if they do find you hot? Miranda and Mae could
propose a threesome or a foursome, and you would (presumably) say no. It seems
unlikely that they will drug you and Sally and tie you up and perform unspeakable
erotic acts on your unconscious bodies. Short of such a Sapphic ambush, you and Sally
should be perfectly capable of saying, “Thanks, we’re flattered, but we only have sex
with each other.”
nect and ask questions during the Kinky Women's
sexual, nonprofit B/D/S/M, leather and fetish lifestyle
Welcoming Munch at 7 pm every second Tuesday.
organizations in the Northwest. Regular social and
(503-972-2233 wwwpdxbadgiris net.)
educational opportunities, including KinkFest, Leather
largest gay sports organization, for open and women's
Ball and Fall Vendors Fair, (wwwpdxleatheralliance org.)
divisions of slow-pitch softball Regular season games
D ear M s . B ehavior :
are played throughout the summer at Gordon Faber
Recreational Complex in Hillsboro. All levels of
My boyfriend, Jake, spends all his holidays and work vacations in North Carolina
with his family. His father just died, and he has an aging mother who lives down there
all by herself.
When I first met Jake two years ago, this was a quality I most admired in him—his
loyalty to his family. But he neither invites me on these frequent trips nor does he call
me while he’s away. He says that his mother knows he’s gay and that it’s not that he
wouldn’t want me to meet her, it’s just that he gets caught up in what he’s doing down
there and likes to take the opportunity to “really be away” from his life.
It occurs to me that perhaps he is living a double life of some sort and not going to
North Carolina at all. Is there any way I can find out what’s really going on? And if
this is just his way, should 1 protest and insist on being invited to visit the mother?
—Jake's Secret
Border Riders Motorcycle Club provides social oppor
tunnies for gay men interested in recreational motorcycle
Portland Leather Men meet every second Saturday
touring and promotes education on safe and legal
for potluck and socializing. Meet men into a leather
machinery. (503-281-4488. brmcprez@yahoo com)
lifestyle and keep abreast of leather happenings. No
Cascade Flyers are gay, lesbian and bi aviators, both
private and professional, in Washington, Oregon and
southern
British
Columbia.
Omner meetings
in
dues, no formal organization, no officers or board, just
leather
socialization
for
the
past
21
years
Portland area. (503-701-7922. casffyers@yahoo.com.
Portland Lesbian Book Club gathers monthly to chat
about a chosen book or to attend selected events.
or questioning Jehovah’s Witnesses who are queer
(acbportiand@webtv net.)
Coqsure is a social group for people who were assigned
a female sex at birth but identify otherwise (female-to
male, genderqueer, drag king, etc.) First Sunday meet
ings are open to partners and families of any configure
tion. (503-471-1515. groups yahoo com/group/coqsure)
Dungeon Men PDX hosts a men's S/M party every
other month in a Portland dungeon. Masters and
novices
always
welcome.
(503-281-2076.
bighnboy@aracnet. com.)
FA.G. PDX (Femme Affinity Group Portland), a radical
activist and social group open to seff identified femmes
of all genders, seeks to create solidarity among femmes,
promote femme visibility and combat femmephobia in
the community at large (www notsony org/fagpdx.)
50+ lesbian social group for women meets on the
third Saturday of the month. (4-7pm 503-642-3360 or
503-288-1870 sutaytig@aol com.)
Portland Lesbian Network organizes brewpub visits,
golf events, hiking, kayaking, cycling. Scrabble games
and movie nights and keeps you aware of what's going
on in the area
(PDXLesbianNetwork-subscribe@
Portland Metro Prime Timers is a social group for
mature gay men and those who appreciate them, com
360-693-5506
(rubyredflippers@yahoo.com
Team Tennis meets Sundays at University of Portland
quent times are $7. Please join us! (8 am-noon
503-788-8192 teamportiandtennis@yafx)o.com.)
YOUTH
pdxprimetimers@yahoo com.
Children
www.geocitiescom/pdxprimetimers.)
of
Lesbians
and
Gays
Everywhere
(COLAGE) is the only international organization specif
Rainriders Motorcycle Club meets weekly at the
Roxy. Ride your bike or |ust come meet the group.
Everyone welcome (10 am Sunday 1121 SW Stark St.
ically supporting young people with sexual minority
parents (colage@lmfamilyorg wwwcolage org )
Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network
wwwpdx-rrmc. com.)
(GLSEN) strives to assure that each member of every
Rose City Discussion Club, the largest open pansex
ual/alternative sexuality club in the Northwest, is open
to all orientations, fetishes and lifestyles that are side,
school community is valued and respected, regardless
of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression
(12700 SW North Dakota St., Suite 180 ft 129, Tigard,
sane and consensual. Monthly meetings, workshops
Sappho Social Club is a group of women 40 years
tural activities. (thesapphosocialclub@yahoo com.)
Genealogy group forming Gather with other lesbian
waters
es. (PO Box 5884. Portland. OR 97228 503-286-4613
or
and older as well as their friends and loved ones,
Jefferson St. 503-701-9376 )
Northwest
www rubyredflippers org.)
ing together for social, educational and cultural purpos
and older building community through social and cul
tion and socializing The death need not have occurred
recently. (7:30 pm second Wednesday 1201 SW
takes dives in Tacoma, Hood Canal and other Pacific
All levels of play welcome. First time is free, subse
yahoogroups com.)
Funny Ladies, a social group for nice lesbians 35
the West Cafe to provide an opportunity for conversa
www rosetownramblers com.)
Ruby Red Flippers, a group of gay and lesbian scuta
www.rcdc.org.)
Gay Men Who Have Lost Their Partners meets at
levels. (PO Box 5352. Portland. OR 97228-5352
divers in the Portland area, teaches new recruits and
group for female-to-male trans men (groups yahoo
month. (flataps@yahoo com.)
Rosetown Ramblers, Portland's gay and lesbian
(6:30 pm third Tuesday, groups yahoo.com/group/port
and newsletter (503-972-1869. rcdc@teleport.com.
holds potlucks on the second Saturday of each
www rosecitysoftball org)
landlesbianbookclub)
FTM Pacific NW OR b WA is a social and discussion
com/group/FTM PacificNW I
experience are welcome. (4450 NW 229th Ave.
square dance club, dances at mainstream and plus
(360-896-6665 plm@direcway.com.)
www. geocities, com/casflyers.)
A Common Bond is a social support network for former
Join the Rose City Softball Association, Oregon’s
Social OUTings is a social group for all interested in
meeting people and doing activities other than bar
hopping (kyleinportland@yahoocom.)
Soyboys Vegetarian Men's Group is a fun, social gath
vegetarian or vegan lifestyle A variety of activities
monthly
potlucks
on
the
submissions s 14 days poor to publication
OirtReach I stmqs of up to 50 words are provided tree of chatge to organ zations and
groups specifically serving the sexual minorities community All listings are subject
to nd ling and m Ins rm s subject to spar e I rmtations relevant n and rece pt by dead
line
I istmgs r >p m onr e a yeai I n Julyi and subm ssmns run fiom thè date rer e ved unt
tire- neri s* 'a.duled ( xpaat ori (lati l st u(;s are automati! al’y (It-lt.lfri iipon exp ra
is a group of gay/bi/same-gender-loving men of color
between 16 and 25 who want to engage in activities,
socials and community events among their peers
(Kourtm 503-417-7991 www brotobropdx org.)
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can t quali
Saturday.
services that include those who inject hormones Provide
transitional housing for youth 20 and younger and for
those HIV positive and younger than 23 Need volunteers
of all ages (10 em-6 pm Monday Fnday 1132 SW 13th
Ave 503-535-3800 www. outsidein org)
(veggieguys@aol.com.)
Just Out is published on the first and third Friday of every month The deadline for
last
House of MOCHA (Men of Color Healthy b Aware)
fy for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle exchange
enng for gay and bi men who are interested m a healthy
and
OR 97223 503-525-1177 glsen@glsenoregon org
www glsenoregon org.)
tron To ensure uninterrupted listing, please submit updated information at least a
month poor to the expiration date Complete listings are available online at
www justout com
Send listings to Just Out tattn Calendarl P0 Box 1.1400 Portland OR 9/293 0400
fa* submissions to 503 236 1257 or e ma I jiistoul .■ justout com Submissions
cannot he accepted over the phone
Please t,
R ear J ake ’ s S ecret :
The possibilities for a double life are endless. Jake could have a wife and kids down
South, with a different car and a straight man’s wardrobe: synthetic sweaters, Docker
pants and woven slip-on loafers that he wears with argyle socks. Perhaps people in North
Carolina call him Frank, and when he hangs out at the kxral pub he changes his favorite
drink to something sweeter and colder than what he drinks when he’s with you.
Or maybe Jake films videos for a gay pom ring, and he lives with a gang of 18-year-
old rent boys who teach him about hip music and relieve him of his pocket money and
his anxiety about getting older.
If, however, Jake really visits his mother, it would be helpful for him to fill you in
on his long-term plan. Is he happy with things as they are? Does he ever plan to include
you in his visits? Would he consider having his mother come to visit you and Jake?
Is there rix>m for negotiation? For example, would he he willing to have you come with
him some of the time? Is Jake willing to let you call him at his mother’s house?
If you really doubt that he’s visiting his mother and don’t trust him to tell you the
truth, some sn<x>ping might be in order. Itemized cell phone bills are often a gtxxl place
to start. ©
M eryl C ohn is the author of Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and
Lesbian Etiquette. Signed copies are available directly from the author. Send questions or
correspondence to msbehavior@aol.com.