_______________________________________________________________________ JULY 7, 2006
COMPLETE SPIRITUALITY AND NONMETRO LISTINGS
AVAILABLE ONLINE AT WWW.JUSTOUT.COM
Activities include potlucks, recreational outings
and cultural events. Friendly environment to meet
and connect with other API IPO Box 12661.
Portland, OR 97232 aplg j>dx@yahoo com.)
Bad Girls is a social and educational leather and
B/D/S/M club for self-identified women with an
emphasis on safety and education. Workshops,
discussions, events and parties Women of all ori
entations can connect and ask questions during
the Kinky Women’s Welcoming Munch at 7 pm
every
second
Tuesday.
1503-972-2233.
www.pdxbadgirls net.)
Border Riders Motorcycle Club provides social
opportunities for gay men interested in recre
ational motorcycle touring and promotes educa
tion on safe and legal machinery. 1503-281-4488
brmcprei@yahoo. com)
Cascade Flyers are gay, lesbian and bi aviators,
both private and professional, in Washington,
Oregon and southern British Columbia. Dinner meet
mgs in Portland area. 1503-701-7922. casflyers
(riyahoo.com wwwgeocitiescom/casflyers)
A Common Bond is a social support network for
former or questioning Jehovah's Witnesses who
are queer. Iacbportland@webtv.net.)
Coqsure is a social group for people who were
assigned a female sex at birth but identify other
wise (female-to-male, genderqueer, drag king,
etc.). First Sunday meetings are open to partners
and families of any configuration. 1503-471-1515
groups, yahoo, com/group/coqsure.)
Dungeon Men PDX hosts a men’s S/M party
every other month in a Portland dungeon Masters
and novices always welcome 1503-281-2076
bighnboy@aracnet com)
50+ lesbian social group for women meets on
the third Saturday of the month. (4-7 pm
503-642-3360 or 503-286-3575.)
FTM Pacific NW OR b WA is a social and discus
sion group for female-to male trans men.
(groups yahoo com/group/FTM PacificNW I
Funny Ladies, a social group for nice lesbians 35
and older as well as their friends and loved ones,
holds potlucks on the second Saturday of each
month. (503-639-7488. flataps@yahoo.com)
Gay Men’s Garden Club meets at a different
garden every month to enjoy the diversity of plant
materials that Portland offers the avid gardener
Meet others, share ideas, trade plants, show off
your garden, and have some fun outdoors! (11 am
1 pm first Sunday 503-347-5477 rogermosser@
Comcast net.)
Genealogy group forming Gather with other
lesbian researchers to trace your family tree and
tackle "backwall" female ancestors, (famhistnw
@aol.com)
Imperial Sovereign Rose Court of Oregon is the
oldest gay, lesbian, bi and trans social/fund-raismg
organization in the state of Oregon. Meetings are
the first two Mondays of each month
(www.rosecourt.org.)
Jewish Gay Men's Group please call for meet
ing
time
and
place.
(503-246-5939
efraimlevi@aol. com.)
Keshet is a social connection group for queer
Jews and their spouses, partners, significant oth
ers and good friends, whether Jewish or not It
meets monthly for potluck dinners and special
events. (David 503-226-7079, ext 14, or Mike
503-331-1111J
Lesbians Enjoying Nature and Science (LENS)
is a fun-loving group of women who en|oy explor
ing all aspects of the environment. Activities
include bird watching, nature walks, archaeology,
camping, kayaking, star gazing and an occasional
''lecture." No experience necessary
(Vicki
971-998-6040 lensnews@yahoo.com)
Lesbian Garden Club is a group of women who
love gardens and gardening. They exchange
plants, seeds, advice and encouragement while
having a good time. Call for a copy of the news
letter and information about upcoming events.
(Linda 503 909-2002 )
Lesbians with Degrees is a social group for
intellectual women and those who want to meet
them. (Lam 503-233-3557. Join listserv at
LesbianswOegrees-subscnbeCaiyahoogroupscom.)
Lulu’s Pervy Playhouse is a social group for self
identifying women who are into S/M Play parties
are held on the second Saturday of the month.
(503-231-3992.
dykedadi@comcast.net.
www luluspervyplayhouse org)
Men Over 40 is a small, socially supportive group
that meets second and fourth Thursdays.
(503-777-1376.)
Monamorous bi group forming for women in their
40s who are single and professionally employed
(monogirls06@yahoo com.)
Night in Black Leather and The Leather Duck
Club are the first and third Friday of each month at
Gail's Dirty Duck Tavern (9 pm-midmght 439 NW
Third
Ave
503-224 8446
orleatherfrat@
yahoo.com.)
Oregon Men Enjoying Naturism is a social
organization for gay male naturists/nudists. Social
gathering second Saturday of every month
(omenpdx@omenpdx. org www omenpdx org)
PDXFTM is a social group for female-to-male
tr ns men and their significant others, friends,
families and allies, (groups.yahoo com/group/
PDXFTM.)
PDX Lesbo Nerds invite interesting, intelligent
women 35 and older to socialize while playing
board games like Scrabble and Spades
(games groups yahoo com/group/PdxLesboNerds )
The gay Pinochle Group meets Sundays at
Hobo's. Come play cards and meet the gang. New
players always welcome. (6 pm 120 NW Third
Ave Mike 503-641-7224.)
Poder Latino is a nonprofit social community
voice group for gay, lesbian, bi and trans people
that reaches out to Latinos and Latmas by organ
izing events and retreats and advocating HIV pre
vention. Meets every other Monday at Outside In
(6 30 pm 1030 SW 13th Ave Hugo 503 997 8615
or Audencio 503-261-5463.)
Portland Leather Alliance is one of the largest
pansexual, nonprofit B/D/S/M, leather and fetish
lifestyle organizations in the Northwest Regular
social and educational opportunities, including
KmkFest, Leather Ball and Fall Vendors Fair.
(www pdxleatheralliance. org.)
Portland Leather Men meet every second
Saturday for potluck and socializing. Meet men into
a leather lifestyle and keep abreast of leather hap
penings. No dues, no formal organization, no offi
cers or board, just leather socialization for the past
21 years. (360-896 6665 plm@direcwaycom)
Portland Lesbian Book Club gathers monthly to
chat about a chosen book or to attend selected
events. 16 30 pm third Tuesday groups yahoo
com/group/portlandlesbianbookclub)
Portland Metro Prime Timers is a social
group for mature gay men and those who
appreciate them, coming together for social,
educational and cultural purposes. (PO Box
5884, Portland, OR 97228 503 286 4613 or
360-693-5506 pdxprimetimers@yahoo com
www geocities com/pdxpnmetimers.)
Rainriders Motorcycle Club meets weekly at the
Roxy. Ride your bike or just come meet the group.
Everyone welcome. (10 am Sunday 1121 SW
Stark St. wwwpdx-rrmccom.)
Rose City Discussion Club, the largest open pan
sexual/alternative sexuality club in the Northwest,
is open to all orientations, fetishes and lifestyles
that are safe, sane and consensual Monthly meet
mgs, workshops and newsletter (503-972-1869
rcdc@teleport.com wwwrcdc org.)
Soyboys Vegetarian Men's Group is a fun, social
gathering for gay and bi men who are interested in
a healthy vegetarian or vegan lifestyle. A variety of
act vities and monthly potlucks on the last
Saturday. (veggieguys@aolcom)
Women of the Rivers, the Portland/Vancouver
chapter of the Women on Wheels Motorcycle
Club meets monthly at Elmer's, sponsors riding
clinics and takes day trips. (7:15 pm second
Thursday
9848
N
Whitaker
Road,
www hevanet com/chama/wow)
Physical Recreation
Adventure Group organizes a variety of activities
year round, including hiking, walking, cross-coun
try and downhill skiing, rafting and mountain bik
ing. (PO Box 2201, Portland, OR 97208-2201
www adventuregroup org)
Amazon Dragons Paddhng Club invites women 16
and older to join Portland's only out lesbian dragon
boat team. Be pari of the fun and fitness with this
dynamic group, (www amazondragons org.)
The Forest Group outings are cooperative
adventures
for
women
Participants
are
responsible for providing their own equipment and
choosing outings appropriate for their skill and fit
ness
level
All
skill
levels
welcome
(503-772-1860
imnoregon @comcast net
www geocities com/ncc 1127/forestpdx)
Gay Women's Golf Group welcomes all levels of
players (wwwturfgidz com.)
Lesbian Equestrian Group gets together for
Just Out is published on the first and third Friday of every month The dead
line for submissions is 14 days prior to publication
OutReach listings ol up to 50 words are provided free of charge to organ
izations and groups specifically serving the sexual minorities community
All listings are suhiect Io editing, and inclusion is suhiect to space limita
lions relevance and receipt by deadline
listings expire once a year tin July), and submissions run from the date
received until the next scheduled expiration date Listings are automatically
equestrian activities in the Pacific Northwest
(Denise 503 654-3865 Lynn 503 777-2339
kelrav@rdrop. com.)
National Gay Basketball League practices at
Chief Joseph Elementary School in preparation to
represent Oregon in the 2006 Gay Games
(7:15-9:30 pm Monday 2409 N Saratoga St.
edmundgames@msn. com www ngba us.)
Net Rippers is a gay men's indoor soccer team
that's just starting up in Portland (bendoverbeck-
ham@gmail com www myspace com/netrippers)
Out Dancing teaches dancing for same-sex cou
ples at Ankeny Street Studio Classes for different
dance styles start the first Friday of each month:
country, swing, tango, cha cha, etc. Call for sched
ule (503-236-5129 out_dancmg@yahoo com
• home att.net/~outdancmg)
OutKayaking, Portland’s gay and lesbian sea
kayak group, explores the lakes, rivers and bays of
northwest Oregon and southwest Washington.
(www outkayakmg org)
Portland Gay it Lesbian Community Bowling
Association is in its 28th season' Meets Sundays
at Hollywood Bowl. Drop ms welcome anytime
(3 30 pm 4030 Nt Halsey St. Mailing address
PO Box 42034, Portland, OR 97242 503 722 0438
pdxbowl@comcast net www pdxbowl com)
Whether you're a running novice or a seasoned
marathoner, Portland Frontrunners welcomes
gay. lesbian, bi and trans people of all abilities and
interests (Gary info@portlandfrontrunners org
www portlandfrontrunners org)
Rosetown Ramblers. Portland's gay and lesbian
square dance club, dances at mainstream and plus
levels. (PO Box 5352, Portland. OR 97228 5352
wwwrosetownramblers com.)
Ruby Red Flippers, a group of gay and lesbian
scuba divers in the Portland area, teaches new
recruits and takes dives in Tacoma, Hood Canal
and other Pacific Northwest waters, (rubyredflip-
pers@yahoo com www rubyredflippers org.)
Soccer players capable of participating in 2006
Gay Games July 15-22 in Chicago sought for adult
league in Portland
(Carlos 503-282-4907
gaygames soccer@myway com.)
Team Oregon, the umbrella sports group coordi»
natmg efforts for Outgames 2006 in Montreal and
Gay Games 2006 in Chicago, holds monthly meet
ings
for
those
wanting
to
participate
(503-736-3292. www teamoregon2006 org.)
Team Tennis meets Sundays at University of
Portland All levels of play welcome First time is
free, subsequent times are $7. Please join us!
18 am-noon 503-788-8192 teampcirtlandtenms
@yahoo.com.)
justput 37
Buyer Beware
My friend is bossy, opinionated and judgmental.
Can you help her find a girlfriend?
P ear M s . B ehavior :
My friend Nancy wants a girlfriend very badly.
She’s 35, smart, cute, active and fun. However, she’s
also bossy, opinionated, judgmental and never
interested tn anyone who is interested in her.
Operating on the “there’s a lid for every pot”
theory, how can we help Nancy find that lid? I'm
not sure that sharing my perceptions about her
pickiness would be helpful or welcome. She reads
your column, though, and would welcome any
advice you could share. Thanks.
—Wanting My Friend to Be I lap|ry
Ms. Behavior
BY MERYL COHN
D ear W anting M y F riend to B e H appy :
Your difficulty in helping your judgmental friend is similar to those faced every day by
corporations: How can you create a marketing campaign to sell a worthwhile item
(Nancy) with some serious flaws?
Pharmaceutical companies are forced by fair balance laws to disclose the hideous side
effects of their products along with the potential benefits. Thus a list of potential maladies
ranging front baldness to diarrhea to flatulence must be revealed to the consumer, result
ing in a sort of informed consent, so that the promise of lower blood pressure or a harder
erection won’t be t<x> powerful to resist.
If you take on the job of selling Nancy, you probably don’t have to start out hy dis
closing her issues; it sounds like she’s perfectly capable of revealing them herself.
(Hopefully, she doesn’t cause hair loss or gastrointestinal disorders, hut she does sound
strident, which is unpleasant enough anyway.)
Perhaps unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do to change Nancy’s personality. But
in keeping with your cover-for-every-pot theory, Nancy might yet get lucky and find a
partner. As you might have noticed, some people actually do like to be bossed around and
judged. Why? Sometimes they're slightly masochistic and need to be abused in order to
feel loved. Sometimes they’re still working out their family crap and haven’t figured out
how to move beyond their childhood wounds. Whatever the reason, such people love to
be controlled and criticized. Let’s hope that your friend Nancy finds such a person to love
and control and that they live together happily ever after.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
YOUTH
Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere
(COLAGE) is the only international organization
specifically supporting young people with sexu
al minority parents. (colage@lmfamily org
www.colage org.)
Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network
(GLSEN) strives to assure that each member of
every school community is valued and respected,
regardless of sexual orientation or gender identi
ty/expression (12700 SW North Dakota St, Suite
180 4129. Tigard, OR 97223 503 525 1177
glsen@glsenoregon org wwwglsenoregon.org.)
House of MOCHA (Men of Color Healthy b
Aware) is a group of gay/bi/same-gender loving
men of color between 16 and 25 who want to
engage in activities, socials and community
events among their peers (Kourtm 503-417-7991
www. brotobropdx. org.)
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can t
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as nee
dle exchange services that include those who
inject hormones. Provide transitional housing for
youth 20 and younger and for those HIV-positive
and younger than 23. Need volunteers of all ages.
(10 am-6 pm Monday-Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave
503-535-3800 wwwoutsidem org)
Pride Project brings together Washington County
queer and questioning youth to plan and attend
monthly social events. Also information, referral
and advocacy services in Washington County.
(Austin 503-260-5792 austm@pndepro/ect org)
Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center
(SMYRC) offers support, recreatioh, counseling
and referral to gay, lesbian, bi and trans kids 23
and younger Drop in computer access, pool tables
and an informal place to hang out. Weekly trans,
leadership and art support group meetings
(4 9 pm Wednesday, 4-11 pm Friday 2100 St
Belmont St. 503-872-9664 wwwsmyrc org)
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ed information at least a month prior to the expiration date Complete listings
are available online at www.justoul com
Send listings to Just Out iattn Calendar) P0 Box 14400, Portland, OR
97293 0400
Fax submissions, to 503 236 1257 or e ntail justout'u justdut.com
Submissions cannot be accepted over the phone
Please type your announcements and include full contact information
My new boyfriend is considerably older than I am. He was married most of his adult
life and is divorced from a woman with whom he has three grown kids.
The problem is that Jack is used to living a straight life and getting gay sex on the side,
so he’s not exactly the grown-up, sophisticated gay male partner I’ve been looking for all
my life. Nonetheless, he is sensitive and warm and a very gixxl person, which is nothing
to sneeze at.
I’ve lately put my kxit down and told Jack that he has to behave more like a grown
up: joining me at parties, being out in public, making a consistent plan to see each other.
Otherwise, 1 think he’d just keep me on the side for sex (coming over late at night and
leaving before dawn) and not include me in his regular life.
He seems to be slowly coming along, but my friends think I’m wasting my time. They
tell me once a closet case, always a closet case. Is that true? Do you think there’s hope?
—Vincent tn Love
D ear V incent in L ove :
Some musty closet dwellers do come out later tn life, but they have to be motivated to
do so. Such inspiration generally comes either from a lengthy proo'ss involving growth
and self-acceptance or from falling in love.
Jack might rise to your requests for a real relationship, or he might continue to act like
a so-called straight man who finds occasional relief at a rest stop. You say he’s “slowly
coming along,” but it’s unclear what that means. Is he stuck on appearing straight at all
costs? Will he ever comfortably go out on dates with you and spend time with your gay
friends? It seems that an evening at home together, doing facials and wearing sarongs is
probably out of the question. Can you live with this?
Jack might be able to change enough to have a relationship you’ll find fulfilling, but don’t
count on it. He might actually prefer to socialize with his straight friends and treat you like
a hustler, no matter how unevolved it might seem to you. Ultimately, you’ll probably need
to ask yourself whether you can be satisfied with furtive late-night blow jobs or if you’d rather
be with someone who can integrate you into his life and join you in yours. ©
MERYL C ohn is the author of Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian
Etiquette. Signed copies are available directly from the author. Send questions or
correspondence to mshehavior@aol.com