JANUARY 6. 2006
Complete spirituality and nonmetro listings available online at www.justout.com
join Wednesday rehearsals. No audition neces
sary <503 299-4454 www.satonchorus.org.)
General
Asian & Pacific Islander Lesbians and Gays is
a nonprofit community voice for gay, lesbian and
bi Asian and Pacific Islanders. Activities include
potlucks, recreational outings and cultural events.
Friendly environment to meet and connect with
other API. IPO Box 12661. Portland. OR 97232.
aplg jidx@yahoo. com.)
Bad Girls is a social and educational leather and
B/D/S/M club for self-identified women with an
emphasis on safety and education. Workshops,
discussions, events and parties. Women of all
orientations can connect and ask questions dur
ing the Kinky Women’s Welcoming Munch at
7 pm every second Tuesday. 1503-972-2233
www.pdxbadgirls. net.)
Cascade Flyers are gay, lesbian and bi aviators,
both private and professional, in Washington,
Oregon and southern British Columbia. Dinner meet
ings in Portland area. 1503-701-7922. casflyers
@yahoo. com. www. geocities, com/casflyers.)
A Common Bond is a social support network for
former or questioning Jehovah's Witnesses who
are queer, (acbportland@webtv.net.)
Coqsure is a social group for people who were
assigned a female sex at birth but identify other
wise (female-to-male, genderqueer, drag king,
etc.). First Sunday meetings are open to partners
and families of any configuration. (503-471-1515.
groups, yahoo, com/group/coqsure.)
50+ lesbian social group for women meets on
the third Saturday of the month. (4-7 pm.
503 642-3360 or 503-286-3575.)
Fem2fem social group forming for feminine singles
between 30 and 50. (fem2fempdx@yahoo.com.)
FTM Pacific NW OR ft WA is a social and dis
cussion group for female-to-male trans men.
(groups, yahoo. com/group/FTM PacificNW)
Funny Ladies, a social group for nice lesbians 35
and older as well as their friends and loved ones,
holds potlucks on the second Saturday of each
month. (503-639-7488. flataps@yahoo.com.)
Genealogy group forming Gather with other
lesbian researchers to trace your family tree
and tackle "brickwall" female ancestors.
(famhistnw@aol.com.)
Imperial Sovereign Rose Court of Oregon is the
oldest gay, lesbian, bi and trans social/fund-rais-
ing organization in the state of Oregon. Meetings
are the first two Mondays of each month.
(www. rosecourt, org.)
Jewish Gay Men's Group please call for meet
ing
time
and
place.
(503-246-5939.
efraimlevi@aol. com.)
Keshet is a social connection group for queer
Jews and their spouses, partners, significant oth
ers and good friends, whether Jewish or not. It
meets monthly for potluck dinners and special
events. (David 503-226-7079, ext. 14, or Mike
503-331-1111.)
Leather Night and Red Hanky Social are the
first and third Friday of each month at Gail's Dirty
Duck Tavern. (9 pm-midnight. 439 NW Third Ave.
503-224-8446. earl@leathercigarboy.com.)
Lesbians Enjoying Nature and Science (LENS)
is a fun-loving group of women who enjoy explor
ing all aspects of the environment. Activities
include bird watching, nature walks, archaeology,
camping, kayaking, star gazing and an occasional
"lecture."
No
experience
necessary.
(6:45-8:30 pm second Thursday planning meeting.
Laurie 503-977-2903 lensnews@yahoo.com.)
Lesbian Garden Club is a group of women who
love gardens and gardening. They exchange
plants, seeds, advice and encouragement while
having a good time. Call for a copy of the
newsletter and information about upcoming
events. (Linda 503-909-2002)
Lesbians with Degrees is a social group for
intellectual women and those who want to meet
them. (Lam 503-233-3557 Join listserv at
LesbianswDegrees subscribe@yahoogroups com.)
Lulu’s Pervy Playhouse is a social group for
self-identifying women who are into S/M. Play
parties are held on the second Saturday of the
month. (503-231 -3992 dykedadi@comcast.net.
www. luluspervyplayhouse. org.)
Men Over 40 is a small, socially supportive
group that meets second and fourth Thursdays.
(503-777-1376.)
Oregon Men Enjoying Naturism is a social
organization for gay male naturists/nudists. Social
gathering second Saturday of every month.
(omenpdx@omenpdx org www. omenpdx org.)
PDXFTM is a social group for female-to-male trans
men and their significant others, friends, families and
allies, (groups, yahoo com/group/PDX FTM.)
PDX Lesbo Nerds invite interesting, intelligent
women 35 and older to socialize while playing
board games like Scrabble and Spades.
(gamps groups yahoo com/group/PdxLesboNerds)
The gay Pinochle Group meets Sundays at
Hobo's. Come play cards and meet the gang.
New players always welcome. (6 pm 120 NW
Third Ave Mike 503-641-7224.)
come anytime. (3:30 pm 4030 NE Halsey St.
Mailing address: PO Box 42034, Portland, OR
97242. 503-722-0438 pdxbowl@comcast net.
www. pdxbowl. com.)
Poder Latino is a nonprofit social community
voice group for gay, lesbian, bi and trans people
that reaches out to Latinos and Latinas by
organizing events and retreats and advocating
HIV prevention. Meets every other Monday at
Outside In. (6:30 pm. 1030 SW 13th Ave Hugo
503-997-8615 or Audencio 503-261-5463 )
Whether you're a running novice or a seasoned
marathoner, Portland Frontrunners welcomes
gay, lesbian, bi and trans people of all abilities and
interests. (Gary info@portlandfrontrunners.org.
www.portlandfrontrunners.org.)
Portland Bisexual Women is a discussion, social
and support group for bi and questioning women.
(503-347-5817 portlandbiwomen@comcast.net.
www. portlandbiwomen. free servers com.)
Portland Leather Alliance is one of the largest
pansexual, nonprofit B/D/S/M, leather and fetish
lifestyle organisations in the Northwest. Regular
social and educational opportunities, including
KinkFest, Leather Ball, kind auctions and Fall
Vendors Fair, (www.pdxleatheralliance.org.)
Portland Leather Men meet every second
Saturday for potluck and socializing. Meet men into
a leather lifestyle and keep abreast of leather hap
penings. No dues, no formal organization, no offi
cers or board, just leather socialization for the past
21 years. (360-896-6665. plm@direcway.com.)
Portland Metro Prime Timers is a social group
for mature gay men and those who appreciate
them, coming together for social, educational
and cultural purposes. (PO Box 5884, Portland,
OR 97228 503-286-4613 or 360-693-5506.
pdxprimetimers@yahoo.com. www.geocities,
com/pdxprimetimers.)
Rainriders Motorcycle Club meets weekly at
the Roxy. Ride your bike dt just come meet the
group. Everyone welcome. (10 am Sunday.
1121 SW Stark St. www.pdx-rrmc.com.)
Rose City Discussion Club, the largest open pan
sexual/altemative sexuality club in the Northwest,
is open to all orientations, fetishes and lifestyles
that are safe, sane and consensual. Monthly meet
ings, workshops and newsletter. (503-972-1869.
rcdc@teleport.com. www.rcdc org.)
Soyboys Vegetarian Men's Group is a fun,
social gathering for gay and bi men who are inter
ested in a healthy vegetarian or vegan lifestyle. A
variety of activities and monthly potlucks on the
last Friday, (veggieguys@aol.com.)
Women of the Rivers, the Portland/Vancouver
chapter of the Women on Wheels Motorcycle
Club, meets monthly at Elmer's, sponsors
riding clinics and takes day trips. (7:15 pm
second Thursday. 9848 N Whitaker Road,
www. hevanet. com/chama/wow.)
Physical Recreation
Adventure Group organizes a variety of activities
year round, including hiking, walking, cross
country and downhill skiing, rafting and mountain
biking. (PO Box 2201, Portland, OR 97208-2201
www. adventuregroup. org.)
Amazon Dragons Paddling Club invites
women 16 and older to join Portland's only out
lesbian dragon boat team. Be part of the fun
and fitness with this dynamic group.
(www. amatondragons. org)
The Forest Group outings are cooperative
adventures for women. Participants are respon
sible for providing their own equipment and
choosing outings appropriate for their skill and
fitness level. All skill levels welcome. (Dawn and
Tami 503-659-2782. ncc1127@yahoo.com.
www.geocities.com/ncc 1127/forestpdx.)
The Gay Women's Golf Group welcomes all
levels of players. (turfgirlt@yahoogroups.com.)
Lesbian Equestrian Group gets together for
equestrian activities in the Pacific Northwest.
(Denise 503 654-3865 Lynn 503-777-2339.
kelrav@rdrop. com)
National Gay Basketball League is forming a
chapter in Portland to represent Oregon in the 2006
Gay Games, (wwwngba.us/portland/pdx.htm.)
Out Dancing teaches dancing for same sex couples
at Ankeny Strbet Studio. Classes for different dance
styles start the first Friday of each month: country,
swing, tango, cha-cha, etc. Call for schedule.
(503-236-5129
out_dancing@yahoo.com
home.att.net/~outdancing.)
,
OutKayaking, Portland's gay and lesbian sea
kayak group, explores the lakes, rivers and bays
of
Northwest
Oregon
and
Southwest
Washington, (www.outkayaking.org.)
Pacific
Coast
Boating
Club
provides
opportunities for gay and lesbian boaters to come
together for fun on local rivers and promotes safe
boating. (paccoastboatclub@comcast net)
Portland Avalanche rugby team is always
seeking new players for practices Mondays and
Wednesdays Aug. 29 Nov. 12 at East Delta Park.
(6:30-8:30 pm.
10737 N Union Court
503-715-3122 www avalancherugby org.)
Portland Gay & Lesbian Community Bowling
Association is in its 28th season! Meets
Sundays at Hollywood Bowl. Drop-ins wel
Energizer Bunny
Insatiable girlfriend exhausts older butch
D ear M s . B ehavior :
I'm feeling some tension in my relationship with
my new girlfriend, Liz. She’s younger than me and
quite feisty. We’ve been together six months, and she
Rosetown Ramblers, Portland’s gay and lesbian
square dance club, dances at mainstream and
plus levels. (PO Box 5352, Portland, OR
97228-5352 www.rosetownramblers.com.)
continues to want to have sex every night. However,
Ruby Red Flippers a group of gay and lesbian scuba
divers in the Portland area, teaches new recruits and
takes dives in Tacoma, Hood Canal and other Pacific
Northwest waters, (rubyredflippers@yahoo.com.
www. rubyredflippers. org)
revving up.
Team Oregon the umbrella sports group coordi
nating efforts for Outgames 2006 in Montreal and
Gay Games 2006 in Chicago, holds monthly
meetings for those wanting to participate.
(503-736-3292 www. teamoregon2006. org.)
Team Tennis meets Sundays at University of
Portland. All levels of play welcome. First time is free,
subsequent times are $7. Please join us! (8 am-noon.
503-788-8192. teamportlandtennis@yahoo. com)
YOUTH
Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere
(COLAGE) is the only international organization
specifically supporting young people with sexual
minority
parents.
(colage@lmfamily.org.
www.colage.org.)
Gay,
Lesbian
and
Straight Education
Network (GLSEN) strives to assure that each
member of every school community is valued
and respected, regardless of sexual orientation
or gender identity/expression. (12700 SW
North Dakota St., Suite 180 if 129, Tigard, OR
97223. 503-525-1177 glsen@glsenoregon.org.
www. glsenoregon. org.)
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can't
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as
needle exchange services that include those who
inject hormones. Provide transitional housing for
youth 20 and younger and for those HIV-positive
and younger than 23. Need volunteers of all ages.
(10am-6 pm Monday-Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave.
503-535-3800. www outsidein. org.)
Pride Project brings together Washington
County queer and questioning youth to plan
and attend monthly social events Also infor
mation, referral and advocacy services in
Washington County. (Austin 503-260-5792
austm@prideproiect. org.)
Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center
(SMYRC) offers support, recreation, counseling
and referral to gay, lesbian, bi and trans kids 23
and younger. Drop-in computer access, pool
tables and an informal place to hang out. Weekly
trans, leadership and art support group meetings
(4-9 pm Wednesday, 4-11 pm Friday. 2100 SE
Belmont St. 503-872-9664 www.smyrc.org.)
JUStOUt 33
I work a lot, have a ton of family responsibilities and
am often exhausted by 10 p.m., when she is just
I love having sex with Liz, though I must admit
that being the butch, I’m the one who expends all the
energy. Whenever I turn her down (which is rare),
we fight and she tells me to quit drinking coffee, eat
more protein and exercise more so that I’ll have
more stamina for her evening desires. How normal
it is to want to do anything every single night?
Ms. Behavior
BY MERYL COHN
—Servicing Butch
D ear S ervicing B utch :
Daily sex is fantastic if you want it but turns into a chore if you don’t. There's nothing wrong
with Liz’s desire for sex every night unless the intensity of her need comes from something oth
er than sexual desire.
A few years ago, Ms. Behavior probably would have taken Liz’s side and implied that you
were a fool to turn down this younger woman who wanted you so desperately and consistently.
She would have advised you to get to the gym and eat protein and veggies so that you could give
Liz exactly what she wanted every night.
But now the older and perhaps wiser (and less nutritionally inclined) Ms. Behavior has a
different idea: You should exercise and eat well and not have sex with Liz more than you want
to. Your fitness regime will make you feel strong and clear-headed. Once you feel more attrac
tive, neither of you will blame your occasional lack of desire on your age or lack of stamina.
This will help your relationship feel more balanced.
Ms. Behavior has never conducted a double blind study (although volunteers are welcome
to contact her), but she believes that frequently the very women who feel compelled to have sex
every day—when the compulsion stems from something other than actual sexual desire—are
the ones who end up plagued by Lesbian Bed Death a few short years later.
There’s nothing wrong with letting Liz want you more often than she can have you. Let her
feel her desire. Let it well up inside her. Let her rub herself against the mattress for relief as she
watches you sleep. Allowing her to long for you will not hurt your relationship, but having half
hearted sex with her might.
D ear Ms. B ehavior :
My friend Al conies to town every few months on business. He sleeps on my pullout, eats my
food, drinks my wine and coffee, and makes himself al home. That’s fine, actually. We used to
be lovers, and we re pretty comfortable with one another.
just out is published on the first and
third Friday of every month. The
deadline for submissions is 14 days
prior to publication.
The thing is, when we go out to dinner, he never offers to take me out. I was always taught cour
teous guest behavior: If you don't bring a gift for your host, you should at least pay for one meal.
Is that a true etiquette rule? If so, should I mention it? I could sav, “Well, I was reading Ms.
Behavior the other day, and guess what she thinks....” Or does etiquette fly out the window
when the guest is an ex? My current boyfriend thinks Al’s behavior is outrageous.
outreach listings of up to 50 words are
provided
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to
organizations and groups specifically
serving
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Listings expire once a year (in July),
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Send listings to: Just Out (attn:
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OR 97293-0400
Fax submissions to 503-236-1257 or
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—Jerry
D ear J erry :
In the realm of etiquette, you both suck. Al is a freeloader who doesn't know enough to
reciprocate your generosity. He should indeed offer to pay for a meal or at least bring a small
gift as a token of appreciation for your hospitality.
You, on the other hand, appear to be a generous host, but in fact you're keeping score and
harboring resentments. It makes you seem small, which probably isn't how you view yourself.
If you look back over your life, you'll most likely see that in some relationships you received
more than you gave. Maybe at some point you were young and didn't have a decent kitchen and
some of your older friends cooked you meals when you w eren 't able to reciprocate. Maybe you
went through a period of being out of work and your friends treated you.
That's just how life is. In the big picture, there's probably balance, even if it doesn’t feel bal
anced within each particular relationship.
You can say something to Al, but the risk is that it will make you both feel uncomfortable.
On the other hand, not saying anything may result in a growing resentment that will interfere
with your friendship. So go for it, but be prepared for a period of time where your pullout
remains unoccupied. ©
Submissions cannot be accepted over
the phone.
Please type your announcements and
include full contact information.
M eryi . C ohn is the author q/ Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior s Guide to Gay and Irsbian
Etiquette. Signed copies are available directly from the author. Send questions or
correspondence to mshebaitior@aol.com.