October 21.2005: * just OUt 33
ADVICE
▼..............
SPIRITUALITY
Metro: Spirituality
Ainsworth United Church of Christ is a
multicultural, multiracial, open and affirming, just peace
congregation (2941 NE Ainsworth St. 503 284-8767.)
Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for
Chnstian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm Thursday
503281-0722)
Atkinson Memorial Church a Unitarian
Universalist church, provides a spiritual home for those
looking for a liberal-minded, supportive and canng
congregation in Oregon City (10:30 am Sunday 710
Sixth St 503-656 7296)
Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a joyful
community working for justice, nurturing peace and
exploring and celebrating our progressive Christian faith
We are queer and straight, multicultural and multiracial,
and our children are valued members Good coffee,
cool people, hot church! (11 am Sunday 621 NE 76th
Ave 503-258-0992 www.bridgeportucc org.)
Community of Welcoming Congregations an
interfaith ministry of spiritual congregations in Oregon
and Southwest Washington that welcome and affirm
people of all sexual orientations, provides pastoral
care, advocacy, education and consultation
(503-665 8741. 2025 NE 23rd St.. Gresham Mailing
address: PO Box 14948. Portland. OR 97293
www. welcomingcongregations org.)
Congregation P'nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
egalitarian. Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland
Meets several times a month at St Mark Presbyterian
Church (9750 SW Terwilliger Blvd 503 248-4500
wwwpnaiorpdxorg)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a
welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and chil
dren s religious education (10 30 am 1133 NE 181st
Ave . Gresham. 503-6652628 office@eastrose.org
www. east rose, org)
Eckankar—Religion of the Light and Sound of
God holds worship services and maintains a library of
matenals. Leam how you can work daily with the Divine
Spirit in your own life (10 am Sunday. 7904 SE
Milwaukie Ave 503-233-1595 www eckankar.org.)
Wednesday meditation 2025 SE Yamhill St.
503-232-8064 www nichiren-shu org/portland.)
Open Spirit a New Thought community, welcomes
you to remember our divinity, celebrate our humanity
and honor our oneness (1030 am Sunday 6536 SE
Duke St. 503-7880085)
Peace Church of the Brethren is a welcoming
congregation (11 am Sunday. 12727 SE Market St
5032546380)
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a center
for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an
all-inclusive spintual philosophy similar to 12 step, Unity
and Religious Science Impromptu wedding ceremonies
available (503-777-0727 www.portlandcenter.org )
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with
potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new moon
Open to all men seeking alternative spiritual growth and
community. Coffee hours start 9:30 am Saturdays at
3 Friends Coffeehouse. 201 SE 12th Ave
(503 235-0826 otter@pcez com.)
Rose City Park Presbyterian Church a member
of the Community of Welcoming Congregations and the
Covenant Network of Presbyterians, is a vibrant, inclu
sive community of faith. All God's children are welcome
to join in our life and worship (10 am Sunday 1907 NE
45th Ave www rosecityparkpres org.)
Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support
organization for former and current Adventists who are
queer as well as their family and friends (PO Box
49375. Sarasota. FL 34230-6375. 866-732-5677.
office@sdakmship org www sdakinship. org. )
Soka Gakkai International a huge wprld peace
Buddhist organization, holds monthly Rainbow Group
meetings to talk about Buddhism and where queers can
become familiar with a philosophy that has always had a
place for everyone (1805 SE Ankeny St.
503 230-1038 sgi-usa-oregon org.)
Southminster Presbyterian Church is an active
member of the Community of Welcoming
Congregations Sunday school, nursery care, classes,
community service activities and events for all ages and
interests. (9 am Sunday chapel service. 10 am Sunday
main worship service. 12250 SW Denney Road.
Beaverton 503-644 2073. staff@southmm.com
www. southmm. com. )
Elevation a gay Christian rock band, invites you to
join us for energetic, inspiring jams and powerful, spintu-
al messages at Metropolitan Community Church of
Portland. (6pm Sunday. 2400 NE Broadway
503-281-8868)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship
(9:30 am Sunday; Noon Spanish language service
806 NE Alberta St. 503-2814429.)
Enneagram Community of Portland offers
newly developing group connecting ancient traditions
and future visions to manifest liberty, peace and justice
Now meeting for discussion, study and meditation.
(Sarah 503-757-7545 wwwstbrigidcac.co.nr.)
mentoring, therapy, spintual direction, classes, work
shops and retreats (enneagrampdx@aol.com.
www enneagramportland com.)
Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming
congregation that values and affirms the sacredness of
all people We invite and encourage everyone to find a
place in the family of God. (10:15am Sunday
27400 SEStark St.. Troutdale 503-661-4520.)
First Congregational United Church of Christ
is an open and affirming congregation in the liberal
Christian tradition. Church school and nursery care.
(10:25 am Sunday 1126 SW Park Ave. 503-228-7219 )
First Congregational United Church of Christ
St. Brigid Celtic Anabaptist Community is a
St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in
Christ congregation, welcomes all people for traditional,
liturgical worship where we expenence God's
reconciling love that sets all people free (9 and 11 am
Sunday 1315 SW Park Ave 503-227-2439
www stjameslutheranportland org. )
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been wel
coming all people since 1863 (12:10pm Wednesday
and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child
care at 10 am. 1432 SW 13th Ave 503 223 6424 )
of Hillsboro is an open and affirming congregation
SisterSpirit offers women's spirituality celebrations,
explicitly welcoming everyone into its Christian commu
nity. fellowship and worship Bible and book study
groups. Sunday school and nursery care. (10:30 am
Sunday. 494 E Mam St 503-648-4341
www.hillsboro-ucc.org.)
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes Schedule of events available All women are
welcome (Suite 102. 3430 SE Belmont St Mailing
address: PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207.
503-736 3297 sistersp@teleport.com)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
Unitarian Universalist Community Church of
affirming liberal religious community offering a wide
range of programs to nurture spiritual growth,
community and social justice. Sunday service 9 and
11 am. (1011 SW 12th Ave. 503 2286389
www firstunitarianportland org)
Washington County is an open and affirming liberal
religious community offering a vanety of ennchment pro
grams in addition to community and social action oppor
tunities (9 and 11 am Sunday 22785 NW Birch St.,
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St Philip
Neri Catholic Church celebrates an affirming Mass fol
lowed by a social (7:30 pm Friday Paulist Center.
2408 SE 16th Ave 503 2314955 )
University Park United Methodist Church is a
Integrity is a group of sexual minority Episcopalians
Hillsboro 503-648-1720 www uuccwc org.)
YOUTH
and friends Vanous locations throughout Oregon
(Steven Norcross or Bruce 503-286-9111.
brucepdxor@comcast net www mtegntyusa org)
Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spiritual direc
(COLAGE) is the only international organization
tors from vanous world religious traditions, who are
available for guidance, classes and retreats (Second
Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave 503-233-2026. ext 3.
www interfaithspintualcenter com)
Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive
small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate
Eucharist at Bridgeport United Church of Christ. A
welcoming congregation, Catholic in tradition and
Ecumenical in membership (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th
Ave 503-699 0473 www koinoniacommunityorg.)
Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist
Church is a "house church" that brings gay and
straight together Daily morning prayer and Sunday
evening worship. (503-281 3697
www tearsoup com/metanoia)
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held dunng
the 11 am service (2400 NE Broadway 503 281 8868
mfo@mccportlandcom www mccportland com)
Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland offers
several weekly gatherings Everyone welcome1 (10 am
Sunday. 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday 730 pm
Metro: Youth
specifically supporting young people with sexual minori
ty parents. (colage@lmfamily org www.colage.org.)
small, diverse, open and progressive community of faith
that extends a warm welcome to all people (10 am
Sunday 4775 N Lombard St. 503-289-7843
open and affirming with worship, children's school and
child care (10 am summer. 11 am school year
3300 SE Woodward St 503238-1337.
pastor@waverfyucc org wwwwaverlyuccorg)
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation is
an open and liberal religious community offering inter-
generational services and religious education for youth
and adults We welcome gay. lesbian, bi and trans mem
bers and nurture spiritual growth living by Unitarian
Universalist principles (5 pm Sunday 3300 SE
Woodward St. 503-777-3704
www. wyeast pnwd uua. org.)
Zion United Church of Christ an open and affirm
ing congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and
heterosexual people who wish to worship in a Christ
centered. warm, caring, multiage/race/cultural faith
community (11 am Sunday 110 30 am summed
2025 NE 23rd Ave. Gresham 503 665-8741)
Central Oregon: Spirituality
United Church of Christ Congregational is an
open and affirming congregation in The Dalles.
(920 am adult Sunday school. 10:30 am worship
1930 am summed 111 E Fifth St. 541 296-2909
ucccongl@netcnct net.
www formmistry. com/usorucofcucocc)
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life Center assists the community in
spiritual growth. (10 am Sunday 111 W39th St..
Vancouver The Rev Kathleen Vengm 360 573-2626
www abundant-lifecenter org)
First Congregational United Church of Christ
has been an open and affirming congregation since
1992, extending God's extravagant welcome to all peo
ple, no matter who they are or where they are on life's
journey (1220 NE 68th St. Vancouver 360-693-1476.
www. vancouverucc org.)
Longview United Methodist Church is welcom
ing and reconciling (10 am Sunday. 2851 30th Ave.
Longview 360-425-4927.)
Metropolitan Church of the Gentle Shepherd
welcomes you Bible study follows morning worship
(10 30 am and 6 30 pm Sunday 2200 Broadway St..
Vancouver. The Rev Hamet Barshofsky
360-695-1480)
Michael Servitus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a
home for the liberal religious spirit. (930 and 11:15 am
Sunday 4505 E 18th St . Vancouver 360-695-1891.)
St. Luke's Episcopal Church has welcomed all
people since 1853 Traditional but never stuffy (English:
8 and 10 30 am Sunday Spanish: 1 pm Sunday Child
care at 10:30 am. 426 E Fourth Plain Blvd. Vancouver
The Rev. John Allen 360-696-0181
www stlukeschurch. info.)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church United Church of
Christ is an^ipen and affirming congregation offering
worship and church school Child care provided and
wheelchair accessible. (9 30 am Sunday learning hour.
10:30 am worship 700 Manon St. NE. Salem
503-363 3660)
Sweet Spirit Metropolitan Community
Church holds services at the American Legion
Building in Salem. (11 am Sunday 4774 Lilac Lane
NE Ken Kerr 503-315 7923
salemsweetspint@aol com.)
Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center
(SMYRC) offers support, recreation, counseling and
referral to gay. lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and
younger Drop-in computer access, pool tables and an
informal place to hang out. Weekly trans, leadership
and art support group meetings (4 9 pm Wednesday.
4-11 pm Friday 2100 SE Belmont St 503-872-9664
wwwsmyrc org)
Eastern Oregon: Youth
(GLSEN) strives to assure that each member of every
Eastern Oregon Center for Independent
Living offers support and advocacy to gay. lesbian, bi.
trans and questioning youth in Eastern Oregon.
(1021 SWFifthAve.. Ontario 541 8893119or
866 248 8369 eocil@eocll org. www eocrlorg.)
www glsenoregon org)
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can't
Anti-social partner complains
about “constant stream of visitors”
Washington: Youth
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle
exchange services that include those who inject hor
mones Provide transitional housing for youth 20 and
younger and for those HIV positive and younger than
23 Need volunteers of all aqes (10 am-6 pm Monday-
Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave. 503535-3800
Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy
www.outsidem.org.)
Willamette Valley: Youth
Pride Project brings together Washington County
queer and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly
social events Also information referral and advocacy
services In Washington County (Austin 5032605792
austtn@pndeprofect org)
Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender and
to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth in
Vancouver. Meets every Tuesday in the basement of
Youth House (6-8 pm 1112 Columbia St. John
360-695-1325)
Questioning Youth Group for ages 13 to 18 offers
support, information and fun in Eugene Free, confiden
rial, adult-facilitated. (Drop in 4-6 pm Friday Amazon
Community Center. 2700 HUyard St 541-684-3466)
health of your
relationship.
D ear M s .
B ehavior :
I love my
extended family
more than any
thing: ex-girl
friends, college
buddies and their
children, my god
daughter and my
adopted nephew,
not to mention a
whole coterie of
other loved ones
and dear friends.
My ideal is to
have them visit as
often and to stay
as long as possible,
sometimes four or five people at a
time, so that we really feel like a
family. 1 especially adore having
them near for the summer.
The problem is that my partner,
Sylvie, objects to what she stingily
refers to as “my constant stream of
visitors.” We just bought a new
house and had a studio cottage built
in the back yard for her painting.
All she does is complain about how
she never gets to use it. I’m nor
stopping her. We only needed to
use her studio for guests a few times
this summer when we had a hill
house; it’s not like we slept people
in there every week! Still, she com
plains about her personal space and
her need for privacy, which makes
me really resent her anti-social
streak.
Sometimes 1 think we are totally
incompatible. How can I get Sylvie
to lighten up and enjoy having
company.7
—Happy Hostess
Metropolitan Community Church Two Rivers is
a Christian church with primary outreach in the sexual
minorities community (6 30 pm Sunday. 1166 Oak
St., Eugene)
Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network
school community is valued and respected, regardless
of sexual orientation or gender identity/expressxxi
(12700 SW North Dakota St. Suite 180 4129. Tigard.
OR 97223 503-525-1177 glsen@gisenoregon org
Be my guest
www upumc net.)
Waverly Heights United Church of Christ is
D ear H appy H ostess :
One person’s beloved guest is
often another person’s flesh-eating
irritant. Since you view your friends
as indispensable and your girlfriend
apparently views them as annoying,
you must find ways to compromise
on the issue.
The only way Sylvie will “light
en up and enjoy company” is if she
gets some quiet time and privacy,
too. It’s difficult to enjoy visitors if
you’re not guaranteed some time
without them, particularly if you’re
engaged in a creative endeavor that
requires solitude.
If you want to keep Sylvie
happy while you still get to enjoy
visits from friends and family, you
need to impose the same rule that
airlines use to confound passengers
who want to cash in their frequent
flyer miles: blackout dates. You
and Sylvie should arrange a sched
ule that satisfies each of you. This
means that visitor-free weeks and
weekends should be at least equal
in number to those that are guest-
infested. This may seem harsh to
you, but it will help protect
Sylvie’s mental health and the
D ear M s .
B ehavior :
What is the
etiquette for a
bachelorette party
for two lesbians
having a commit
ment ceremony?
Do you include
both women.7 Do
you have separate
parties7 This has
been a long
distance relation
ship from the
beginning, so rhe
out-of-town bride only knows peo
ple here through her girlfriend (my
friend).
The other issue is whom to
invite to the bachelorette party. It’s
shaping up to be very much like a
traditional straight wedding for
about 50, with close friends and
family. There are also a number of
other friends who I know won’t be
invited to the wedding. Is it in ptxir
taste to invite them to a bachelor
ette party if they aren’t invited to
the wedding? I was never good at
following those traditional wedding
rules (mostly because 1 didn’t
understand most of them), so I
need all the help I can get.
The wedding is coming up very
soon. Help!
—Marilyn
D ear M arilyn :
The ideal situation would be to
host a bachelorette party in both
cities, so each bride could celebrate
with her own close friends. A joint
party may seem practical but would
more likely be a drag, since the out-
of-town bride would be a stranger
to most of the guests. Bride A
would be stuck making sure her
future wife is comfortable, defeating
the purpose of a last hurrah with
her friends. Bride B would be in the
awkward position of meeting every
one—a strange role for one’s own
bachelorette party—and would like
ly feel like a geek. More important
ly, her presence would probably dis
courage any potential lap dances,
which would be a downer for
Bride A and her friends.
As for inviting friends who
aren’t invited to the wedding,
don't do it: A bachelorette party is
meant to he for the bride’s closest
friends, not random people who
aren’t worthy of an invitation to
the wedding. JR
M eryl C ohn is the author of Do
What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide
to Gay "and Lesbian Etiquette.
Signed copies are available directly
from the author. Send questions or
correspondence to
msbehavior@aol. com.