july 1.20Q5 ’ jU«t OUt.33
ADVICE
.............. ▼...................
a small, diverse, open and progressive community of
faith that extends a warm welcome to all people
(10 am Sunday 4775 N Lombard St. 503 289-7843
www.upumc net.)
SPIRITUALITY
Metro: Spirituality
Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly
for Christian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm
Thursday. 503 2810722.)
open and affirming with worship, children's school
and child care. (10 am summer. 11 am school year
3300 SE Woodward St 503 238 1337
pastor@waveriyucc org www waveriyucc org)
Atkinson Memorial Church a Umtanan
Universalist church, provides a spmtual home for
those looking for a liberal-minded, supportive and
canng congregation in Oregon City. (10 30 am
Sunday. 710 Sixth St 503656 7296)
Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a
community of progressive, political people explonng
and celebrating the Christian faith We are sexual
mmonty and straight, multicultural and multiracial,
and our children are valued members. (10 30 am
Sunday. 621 NE 76th Ave 503-2580992
www. bridgeportucc org.)
Congregation P'nai Or (Faces of Light) is a
vibrant, egalitanan. Jewish Renewal congregation in
Portland. Meets several times a month at Portland
State University Campus Ministnes (PO Box 42187,
Portland. OR 97242 0187 503 248 4500
www pnaiorpdx. org)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist
a welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service
and children's religious education. (10:30 am
1133NE 181st Ave , Gresham 503-665 2628
office@eastrose.org www eastrose org.)
Eckankar—Religion of the Light and Sound
of God holds worship services and maintains a
library of materials. Learn how you can work daily
with the Divine Spirit in your own life. (10 am
Sunday. 7904 SE Milwaukie Ave. 503-233-1595
www. eckankar org.)
Elevation a gay Christian rock band, invites you to
join us for energetic, inspiring jams and powerful,
spiritual messages at Metropolitan Community
Church of Portland. (6 pm Sunday 2400 NE
Broadway. 503-281-8868)
Enneagram Community of Portland offers
mentoring, therapy, spintual direction, classes,
workshops and retreats (enneagrampdx@aol com
www. enneagramportland. com.)
Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming
congregation that values and affirms the sacredness
of all people We invite and encourage everyone to
find a place in the family of God. (10:15 am Sunday.
27400 SEStark St.. Troutdale. 503-661 4520.)
First Congregational United Church of
Christ is an open and affirming congregation in the
liberal Christian tradition Church school and nursery
care. (10:25 am Sunday. 1126 SW Park Ave
503-228 7219.)
First Congregational United Church of
Christ of Hillsboro is an of>en and affirming
congregation explicitly welcoming everyone into its
Christian community, fellowship and worship. Bible
and book study groups. Sunday school and nursery
care. (10:30 am Sunday 494 E Mam St.
503 648-4341 www hillsboro-ucc.org.)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open
and affirming liberal religious community offenng a
wide range of programs to nurture spiritual growth,
community and social justice Sunday service 9 and
11 am. (1011 SW 12th Ave. 503 228 6389
www firstunitananportland.org.)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St.
Philip Neri Catholic Church celebrates an affirming
Mass followed by a social. (730pm Friday Paulist
Center. 2408 SE 16th Ave. 503 231 4955 )
Integrity is a group of sexual minority
Episcopalians and friends. Vanous locations
throughout Oregon. (Steven Norcross or Bruce
503 286 9111. brucepdxor@comcast net
www mtegntyusa org.)
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spiritual
directors from various world religious traditions, who
are available for guidance, classes and retreats
(Second Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave 503-233 2026.
ext 3 www interfaithspiritualcenter.com.)
Koinonia Catholic Community is a
progressive, small faith community that gathers
weekly to celebrate Eucharist at Bridgeport United
Church of Christ A welcoming congregation.
Catholic in tradition and Ecumenical in membership
(6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 503 699-0473
www koinoniacommumty. org.)
Metanoia Peace Community United
Methodist Church is a "house church" that
brings gay and straight together Daily morning
prayer and Sunday evening worship (503-281 3697
www tearsoup com/metanoia.)
Los Angeles pop singer/songwriter
Jay Spears performs July 2 at the
dyke-owned coffee shop Haven.
to 12-step. Unity and Religious Science. Impromptu
wedding ceremonies available (503-777-0727.
www.portlandcenter.org.)
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month
with potlucks and circles at the full moon and the
new moon. Open to all men seeking alternative
spiritual growth and community. Coffee hours start
9:30 am Saturdays at 3 Friends Coffeehouse,
201 SE 12th Ave (503-235-0826. otter@pcez com)
Rose City Park Presbyterian Church
a member of the Community of Welcoming
Congregations and the Covenant Network of
Presbytenans, is a vibrant, inclusive community of
faith. All God's children are welcome to join in our
life and worship. (10 am Sunday 1907 NE 45th Ave.
www rosecityparkpres. org.)
Seventh Day Adventist Kinship is a support
organization for former and current Adventists who
are queer as well as their family and friends.
(PO Box 49375. Sarasota. FL 34230 6375.
866 732 5677 office@sdakmship org.
www sdakinship org)
active member of the Community of Welcoming
Congregations. Sunday school, nursery care,
classes, community service activities and events for
all ages and interests. (9 am Sunday chapel service,
10 am Sunday mam worship service 12250 SW
Denney Road. Beaverton. 503-644-2073.
staff@southmin.com. www. southmm. com)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship
(9:30 am Sunday; Noon Spanish language service
806 NE Alberta St. 503 281 4429)
Central Oregon: Spirituality
United Church of Christ Congregational is
an open and affirming congregation in The Dalles
(9:20 am adult Sunday school. 10:30 am worship
(9 30 am summer], 111 E Fifth St. 541 -296 2909
ucccongl@netcnct net.
www forministry com/usorucofcucocc.)
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life Center assists the community in
spintual growth (10 am Sunday. 111 W 39th St..
Vancouver. The Rev Kathleen Verigin
360 573-2626 www abundant-life-center, org.)
First Congregational United Church of
Christ has been an open and affirming
congregation since 1992, extending God's
extravagant welcome to all people, no matter who
they are or where they are on life’s journey.
(1220 NE 68th St.. Vancouver 360 693-1476.
www.vancouverucc.org.)
Longview United Methodist Church is
welcoming and reconciling. (10 am Sunday
2851 30th Ave., Longview 360-425-4927.)
St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in
Christ congregation, welcomes all people for
traditional, liturgical worship where we expenence
God's reconciling love that sets all people free (9
and 11 am Sunday. 1315 SW Park Ave.
503 227 2439 www stjameslutheranportland org.)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been
welcoming all people since 1863 (12:10pm
Wednesday and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday
school and child care at 10 am. 1432 SW 13th Ave
5032236424.)
SisterSpirit offers women's spirituality
celebrations, discussion groups, a drumming circle,
workshops and classes. Schedule of events
available. All women are welcome. (Suite 102.
3430 SE Belmont St. Mailing address: PO Box
9246. Portland. OR 97207. 503 736 3297
sistersp@teleport. com.)
Unitarian Universalist Community Church
of Washington County is an open and affirming
liberal religious community offering a variety of
enrichment programs in addition to community and
social action opportunities. (9 and 11 am Sunday
22785 NW Birch St.. Hillsboro. 503 648 1720
www uuccwc. org)
University Park United Methodist Church is
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Metropolitan Church of the Gentle
Shepherd welcomes you Bible study follows
morning worship. (1030 am and 6 30 pm Sunday
2200 Broadway St.. Vancouver The Rev Harriet
Barshofsky 360-695-1480)
Michael Servitus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides
a home for the liberal religious spint (9 30 and
11:15am Sunday 4505 E 18th St.. Vancouver
360-695-1891 )
St. Luke's Episcopal Church has welcomed all
people since 1853 Traditional but never stuffy
(English: 8 and 10:30 am Sunday. Spanish: 1 pm
Sunday Child care at 10:30 am. 426 E Fourth Plain
Blvd. Vancouver The Rev John Allen
360-696 0181. www. stlukeschurch info.)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church United Church of
Christ is an open and affirming congregation offenng
worship and church school Child care provided and
wheelchair accessible (930 am Sunday learning
hour, 10 30 am worship 700 Marion St NE. Salem
503 363 3660)
Metropolitan Community Church Two
Rivers is a Chnstian church with primary outreach
in the sexual minonties community (6 30 pm
Sunday 1166 Oak St.. Eugene)
Wednesday. 4 11 pm Friday 2I00SE Belmont St.
503 872 9664 www.smyrc org.)
Eastern Oregon: Youth
Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education
Network (GLSEN) strives to assure that each
member of every school community is valued and
respected, regardless of sexual orientation or
gender identity/expression. (12700 SW North
Dakota St. Suite 180 4129. Tigard. OR 97223.
503 525 1177 glsen@glsenoregon.org
www glsenoregon org )
Outside in operates a clinic for anyone who can't
Pride Project brings together Washington County
several weekly gathenngs Everyone welcome1
(10 am Sunday. 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday
7:30 pm Wednesday meditation 2025 SE Yamhill
St 503-232 8064 www nichiren shu org/portland)
queer and questioning youth to plan and attend
monthly social events Also information, referral and
advocacy services in Washington County. (Molly
503-260-5792 molly@pndeprpiect.org .)
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a
center for worship, growth and leadership that
adheres to an all inclusive spmtual philosophy similar
Zion United Church of Christ an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay, lesbian, bi.
trans and heterosexual people who wish to worship
in a Christ-centered, warm, caring,
multiage/race/cultural faith community. (11 am
Sunday (10:30 am summer] 2025 NE 23rd Ave,
Gresham 503-665 8741)
newly developing group connecting ancient traditions
and future visions to manifest liberty, peace and
justice. Now meeting for discussion, study and
meditation. (Sarah 503-757-7545
www. stbrigidcac. co. nr.)
Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland offers
congregation (11 am Sunday 12727 SE Market St
503-254 6380)
community offering intergenerational services and
religious education for youth and adults We
welcome gay. lesbian, bi and trans members and
nurture spintual growth living by Unitarian
Universalist principles. (5 pm Sunday 3300 SE
Woodward St 5O3-777-37O4
www wyeast pnwd uua.org.)
St. Brigid Celtic Anabaptist Community is a
worship services at 9 and 11 am Sunday school for
children is held during the 11 am service (2400 NE
Broadway 503 281 8868 mfoQmccportland com
www mccportland com.)
Peace Church of the Brethren is a welcoming
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist
Congregation is an open and liberal religious
Southminster Presbyterian Church is an
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle
exchange services that include those who inject
hormones. Provide transitional housing for youth 20
and younger and for those HIV positive and younger
than 23. Need volunteers of all ages. (10 am 6 pm
Monday Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave 503 535 3800
www.outsidein.org.)
Metropolitan Community Church of
Portland holds ecumenical Sunday morning
Baby on board
Waverly Heights United Church of Christ is
Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center
(SMYRC) offers support, recreation, counseling
and referral to gay. lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and
younger Drop in computer access, pool tables and
an informal place to hang out Weekly trans,
leadership and art support group meetings (4 9 pm
Eastern Oregon Center for Independent
Living offers support and advocacy to gay, lesbian,
bi. trans and questioning youth in Eastern Oregon
(1021 SW Fifth Ave . Ontario 541-889 3119 or
866 248-8369 eocil@eocil.org. wwweocil org.)
Washington: Youth
Triple Point offers education support and
advocacy to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning
youth in Vancouver Meets every Tuesday in the
basement of Youth House (68 pm 1112 Columbia
St John 360-695 1325 )
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender and
Questioning Youth (¡roup for ages 13 to 18
offers support, information and fun m Eugene Free.
' confident^. adult facilitated. (Drop in 4-6 pm Friday
Amazon Community Center. 2700 Hrlyard St.
541-684-3466)
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth
Group for ages 25 and younger meets every
Monday in Eugene (5 pm. Koinonia Center,
1414 Kincaid St 541 346 1134)
Aging dyke doesn’t have time to dawdle
D ear M s .
B ehavior :
I’m nearing 42,
and I’d love to have
a child. The timing
is not perfect, hut
I’m not getting any
younger.
A close friend
has agreed to donate
sperm, with a careful
legal agreement.
I le’s a great guy who
will participate as
much as 1 allow.
Money is not a
problem, and I have
a flexible job.
The issue is that I’m dating a
woman I met less than a year ago.
Leslie and I have gotten to know
each other slowly, but our feelings
have intensified, and I believe this
could be a serious relationship.
It’s not realistic for us to discuss
having a baby together at this point;
we don’t even live together yet. But
should I wait until Leslie and I could
make the baby decision together? Or
should I just do it?
—Rapidly Aging Lesbian
D ear R apidly A ging L esbian :
If you were 37 you’d have time to
dawdle, but at nearly 42 you should
have your sperm donor on call and
your legs in the air any time you
think you might ovulate. Since
you’re much more certain about the
baby than you are about Leslie, you
should hurry up and get pregnant.
Ms. Behavior doesn’t mean to
pressure you, but your eggs are
growing older by the minute; waiting
will only decrease your chances of
pregnancy and increase rhe odds of
miscarriage. You don’t have the
luxury of waiting to see how things
turn out with Leslie to assess
whether she’d be a good co-parent or
even if you’d live together well. You
may have some intuition about your
compatibility, but given the newness
of your relationship, it’s wise to see
how it goes and not try to force
decisions artificially.
CX course you should let Leslie
know what you’re doing and discuss
how you’ll fit into each other’s lives.
If you’re lucky and Leslie wants a
child, too, you may eventually end up
with a happy little pack. Hopefully,
by the time your baby turns into a
2-year-old monster, you’ll have a
secure relationship and a loving
partner who wants nothing more
than to please your adorable brat.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
John, my boyfriend of two years,
insists on a monogamous relationship
and yet won’t indulge my fantasies,
even the mild ones that don’t
involve pain or humiliation. He says
fantasies make him feel “t<x> self-
conscious.” John usually likes to have
sex in the same predictable position,
on his stomach with one leg bent
beneath him.
1 love him and we’re great
companions, so I’ve
tried to be patient,
but here’s the final
straw: Despite the
fact that we’re
monogamous and
have been repeatedly
HIV-tested, he won’t
he let me fuck him
without a condom.
I don’t understand
his position on this.
I’ve always thought
that one of the
benefits of a
monogamous
relationship is sexual
freedom within the
relationship. But no such luck. I’ve
tried to discuss it, but we haven’t
gotten anywhere.
I’ve fooled around a bit with a guy
at work, mostly just groping each
other in the parking lot. Tom has
expressed an interest in some of the
very activities that seem to repel
John, including barebacking, with me
as the top. He would even do it in his
car in the back of the parking lot,
during work hours, which is exactly
the kind of fantasy I think is hot.
Tom swears he’s HIV-negative.
1 don’t want a relationship with him,
but I’m tempted by his offer. What
should I do?
—Homy for More
D ear H orny
for
M ore :
If you’ve outgrown your
monotonous monogamous
relationship, tell John the tmth: You
love him, but your sexual relationship
is boring, and you’re considering
having sex with other men.
Maybe John fears unprotected sex
with you because he doesn’t tmst you
or because he himself hasn’t been
faithful. Either way, it’s time for an
honest and thorough discussion. Tell
him that you’d like to be more
sexually adventurous together and
that while he won’t necessarily have
to hang a sling over the bed or
participate in your prison warden
fantasy, the status quo is not working
for you.
If expanding your sexual
repertoire isn’t an option, maybe you
can change your agreement to
include sex with others, either
together or apart. Of course, this
discussion could be a deal-breaker,
but it’s a far better choice than
sneaking around behind John’s back.
Regardless of what happens with
him, barebacking with Tom isn’t the
way to go. His assurance that he’s
HIV-negative doesn’t mean much; if
he was infected within the past few
weeks, he wouldn’t know it now.
And what makes you think you’re
the only one who’s been offered
Tom’s ass in the parking lot? JF1
M eryl C ohn is the author of Do
What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide
to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette.
Signed copies are available directly
from the author. Send questions or
correspondence to msbehavun@aol.com.