july 1.20Q5 ’ jU«t OUt.33 ADVICE .............. ▼................... a small, diverse, open and progressive community of faith that extends a warm welcome to all people (10 am Sunday 4775 N Lombard St. 503 289-7843 www.upumc net.) SPIRITUALITY Metro: Spirituality Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for Christian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm Thursday. 503 2810722.) open and affirming with worship, children's school and child care. (10 am summer. 11 am school year 3300 SE Woodward St 503 238 1337 pastor@waveriyucc org www waveriyucc org) Atkinson Memorial Church a Umtanan Universalist church, provides a spmtual home for those looking for a liberal-minded, supportive and canng congregation in Oregon City. (10 30 am Sunday. 710 Sixth St 503656 7296) Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a community of progressive, political people explonng and celebrating the Christian faith We are sexual mmonty and straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our children are valued members. (10 30 am Sunday. 621 NE 76th Ave 503-2580992 www. bridgeportucc org.) Congregation P'nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant, egalitanan. Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland. Meets several times a month at Portland State University Campus Ministnes (PO Box 42187, Portland. OR 97242 0187 503 248 4500 www pnaiorpdx. org) Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and children's religious education. (10:30 am 1133NE 181st Ave , Gresham 503-665 2628 office@eastrose.org www eastrose org.) Eckankar—Religion of the Light and Sound of God holds worship services and maintains a library of materials. Learn how you can work daily with the Divine Spirit in your own life. (10 am Sunday. 7904 SE Milwaukie Ave. 503-233-1595 www. eckankar org.) Elevation a gay Christian rock band, invites you to join us for energetic, inspiring jams and powerful, spiritual messages at Metropolitan Community Church of Portland. (6 pm Sunday 2400 NE Broadway. 503-281-8868) Enneagram Community of Portland offers mentoring, therapy, spintual direction, classes, workshops and retreats (enneagrampdx@aol com www. enneagramportland. com.) Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming congregation that values and affirms the sacredness of all people We invite and encourage everyone to find a place in the family of God. (10:15 am Sunday. 27400 SEStark St.. Troutdale. 503-661 4520.) First Congregational United Church of Christ is an open and affirming congregation in the liberal Christian tradition Church school and nursery care. (10:25 am Sunday. 1126 SW Park Ave 503-228 7219.) First Congregational United Church of Christ of Hillsboro is an of>en and affirming congregation explicitly welcoming everyone into its Christian community, fellowship and worship. Bible and book study groups. Sunday school and nursery care. (10:30 am Sunday 494 E Mam St. 503 648-4341 www hillsboro-ucc.org.) First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and affirming liberal religious community offenng a wide range of programs to nurture spiritual growth, community and social justice Sunday service 9 and 11 am. (1011 SW 12th Ave. 503 228 6389 www firstunitananportland.org.) Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St. Philip Neri Catholic Church celebrates an affirming Mass followed by a social. (730pm Friday Paulist Center. 2408 SE 16th Ave. 503 231 4955 ) Integrity is a group of sexual minority Episcopalians and friends. Vanous locations throughout Oregon. (Steven Norcross or Bruce 503 286 9111. brucepdxor@comcast net www mtegntyusa org.) Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spiritual directors from various world religious traditions, who are available for guidance, classes and retreats (Second Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave 503-233 2026. ext 3 www interfaithspiritualcenter.com.) Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive, small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate Eucharist at Bridgeport United Church of Christ A welcoming congregation. Catholic in tradition and Ecumenical in membership (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 503 699-0473 www koinoniacommumty. org.) Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist Church is a "house church" that brings gay and straight together Daily morning prayer and Sunday evening worship (503-281 3697 www tearsoup com/metanoia.) Los Angeles pop singer/songwriter Jay Spears performs July 2 at the dyke-owned coffee shop Haven. to 12-step. Unity and Religious Science. Impromptu wedding ceremonies available (503-777-0727. www.portlandcenter.org.) Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new moon. Open to all men seeking alternative spiritual growth and community. Coffee hours start 9:30 am Saturdays at 3 Friends Coffeehouse, 201 SE 12th Ave (503-235-0826. otter@pcez com) Rose City Park Presbyterian Church a member of the Community of Welcoming Congregations and the Covenant Network of Presbytenans, is a vibrant, inclusive community of faith. All God's children are welcome to join in our life and worship. (10 am Sunday 1907 NE 45th Ave. www rosecityparkpres. org.) Seventh Day Adventist Kinship is a support organization for former and current Adventists who are queer as well as their family and friends. (PO Box 49375. Sarasota. FL 34230 6375. 866 732 5677 office@sdakmship org. www sdakinship org) active member of the Community of Welcoming Congregations. Sunday school, nursery care, classes, community service activities and events for all ages and interests. (9 am Sunday chapel service, 10 am Sunday mam worship service 12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton. 503-644-2073. staff@southmin.com. www. southmm. com) St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship (9:30 am Sunday; Noon Spanish language service 806 NE Alberta St. 503 281 4429) Central Oregon: Spirituality United Church of Christ Congregational is an open and affirming congregation in The Dalles (9:20 am adult Sunday school. 10:30 am worship (9 30 am summer], 111 E Fifth St. 541 -296 2909 ucccongl@netcnct net. www forministry com/usorucofcucocc.) Washington: Spirituality Abundant Life Center assists the community in spintual growth (10 am Sunday. 111 W 39th St.. Vancouver. The Rev Kathleen Verigin 360 573-2626 www abundant-life-center, org.) First Congregational United Church of Christ has been an open and affirming congregation since 1992, extending God's extravagant welcome to all people, no matter who they are or where they are on life’s journey. (1220 NE 68th St.. Vancouver 360 693-1476. www.vancouverucc.org.) Longview United Methodist Church is welcoming and reconciling. (10 am Sunday 2851 30th Ave., Longview 360-425-4927.) St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in Christ congregation, welcomes all people for traditional, liturgical worship where we expenence God's reconciling love that sets all people free (9 and 11 am Sunday. 1315 SW Park Ave. 503 227 2439 www stjameslutheranportland org.) St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been welcoming all people since 1863 (12:10pm Wednesday and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child care at 10 am. 1432 SW 13th Ave 5032236424.) SisterSpirit offers women's spirituality celebrations, discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and classes. Schedule of events available. All women are welcome. (Suite 102. 3430 SE Belmont St. Mailing address: PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207. 503 736 3297 sistersp@teleport. com.) Unitarian Universalist Community Church of Washington County is an open and affirming liberal religious community offering a variety of enrichment programs in addition to community and social action opportunities. (9 and 11 am Sunday 22785 NW Birch St.. Hillsboro. 503 648 1720 www uuccwc. org) University Park United Methodist Church is YOUTH Metro: Youth Metropolitan Church of the Gentle Shepherd welcomes you Bible study follows morning worship. (1030 am and 6 30 pm Sunday 2200 Broadway St.. Vancouver The Rev Harriet Barshofsky 360-695-1480) Michael Servitus Unitarian Universalist Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a home for the liberal religious spint (9 30 and 11:15am Sunday 4505 E 18th St.. Vancouver 360-695-1891 ) St. Luke's Episcopal Church has welcomed all people since 1853 Traditional but never stuffy (English: 8 and 10:30 am Sunday. Spanish: 1 pm Sunday Child care at 10:30 am. 426 E Fourth Plain Blvd. Vancouver The Rev John Allen 360-696 0181. www. stlukeschurch info.) Willamette Valley: Spirituality First Congregational Church United Church of Christ is an open and affirming congregation offenng worship and church school Child care provided and wheelchair accessible (930 am Sunday learning hour, 10 30 am worship 700 Marion St NE. Salem 503 363 3660) Metropolitan Community Church Two Rivers is a Chnstian church with primary outreach in the sexual minonties community (6 30 pm Sunday 1166 Oak St.. Eugene) Wednesday. 4 11 pm Friday 2I00SE Belmont St. 503 872 9664 www.smyrc org.) Eastern Oregon: Youth Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. (12700 SW North Dakota St. Suite 180 4129. Tigard. OR 97223. 503 525 1177 glsen@glsenoregon.org www glsenoregon org ) Outside in operates a clinic for anyone who can't Pride Project brings together Washington County several weekly gathenngs Everyone welcome1 (10 am Sunday. 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday 7:30 pm Wednesday meditation 2025 SE Yamhill St 503-232 8064 www nichiren shu org/portland) queer and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly social events Also information, referral and advocacy services in Washington County. (Molly 503-260-5792 molly@pndeprpiect.org .) Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a center for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an all inclusive spmtual philosophy similar Zion United Church of Christ an open and affirming congregation, is open to gay, lesbian, bi. trans and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a Christ-centered, warm, caring, multiage/race/cultural faith community. (11 am Sunday (10:30 am summer] 2025 NE 23rd Ave, Gresham 503-665 8741) newly developing group connecting ancient traditions and future visions to manifest liberty, peace and justice. Now meeting for discussion, study and meditation. (Sarah 503-757-7545 www. stbrigidcac. co. nr.) Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland offers congregation (11 am Sunday 12727 SE Market St 503-254 6380) community offering intergenerational services and religious education for youth and adults We welcome gay. lesbian, bi and trans members and nurture spintual growth living by Unitarian Universalist principles. (5 pm Sunday 3300 SE Woodward St 5O3-777-37O4 www wyeast pnwd uua.org.) St. Brigid Celtic Anabaptist Community is a worship services at 9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held during the 11 am service (2400 NE Broadway 503 281 8868 mfoQmccportland com www mccportland com.) Peace Church of the Brethren is a welcoming Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation is an open and liberal religious Southminster Presbyterian Church is an qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle exchange services that include those who inject hormones. Provide transitional housing for youth 20 and younger and for those HIV positive and younger than 23. Need volunteers of all ages. (10 am 6 pm Monday Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave 503 535 3800 www.outsidein.org.) Metropolitan Community Church of Portland holds ecumenical Sunday morning Baby on board Waverly Heights United Church of Christ is Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center (SMYRC) offers support, recreation, counseling and referral to gay. lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and younger Drop in computer access, pool tables and an informal place to hang out Weekly trans, leadership and art support group meetings (4 9 pm Eastern Oregon Center for Independent Living offers support and advocacy to gay, lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth in Eastern Oregon (1021 SW Fifth Ave . Ontario 541-889 3119 or 866 248-8369 eocil@eocil.org. wwweocil org.) Washington: Youth Triple Point offers education support and advocacy to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth in Vancouver Meets every Tuesday in the basement of Youth House (68 pm 1112 Columbia St John 360-695 1325 ) Willamette Valley: Youth Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender and Questioning Youth (¡roup for ages 13 to 18 offers support, information and fun m Eugene Free. ' confident^. adult facilitated. (Drop in 4-6 pm Friday Amazon Community Center. 2700 Hrlyard St. 541-684-3466) Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth Group for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday in Eugene (5 pm. Koinonia Center, 1414 Kincaid St 541 346 1134) Aging dyke doesn’t have time to dawdle D ear M s . B ehavior : I’m nearing 42, and I’d love to have a child. The timing is not perfect, hut I’m not getting any younger. A close friend has agreed to donate sperm, with a careful legal agreement. I le’s a great guy who will participate as much as 1 allow. Money is not a problem, and I have a flexible job. The issue is that I’m dating a woman I met less than a year ago. Leslie and I have gotten to know each other slowly, but our feelings have intensified, and I believe this could be a serious relationship. It’s not realistic for us to discuss having a baby together at this point; we don’t even live together yet. But should I wait until Leslie and I could make the baby decision together? Or should I just do it? —Rapidly Aging Lesbian D ear R apidly A ging L esbian : If you were 37 you’d have time to dawdle, but at nearly 42 you should have your sperm donor on call and your legs in the air any time you think you might ovulate. Since you’re much more certain about the baby than you are about Leslie, you should hurry up and get pregnant. Ms. Behavior doesn’t mean to pressure you, but your eggs are growing older by the minute; waiting will only decrease your chances of pregnancy and increase rhe odds of miscarriage. You don’t have the luxury of waiting to see how things turn out with Leslie to assess whether she’d be a good co-parent or even if you’d live together well. You may have some intuition about your compatibility, but given the newness of your relationship, it’s wise to see how it goes and not try to force decisions artificially. CX course you should let Leslie know what you’re doing and discuss how you’ll fit into each other’s lives. If you’re lucky and Leslie wants a child, too, you may eventually end up with a happy little pack. Hopefully, by the time your baby turns into a 2-year-old monster, you’ll have a secure relationship and a loving partner who wants nothing more than to please your adorable brat. D ear M s . B ehavior : John, my boyfriend of two years, insists on a monogamous relationship and yet won’t indulge my fantasies, even the mild ones that don’t involve pain or humiliation. He says fantasies make him feel “t self- conscious.” John usually likes to have sex in the same predictable position, on his stomach with one leg bent beneath him. 1 love him and we’re great companions, so I’ve tried to be patient, but here’s the final straw: Despite the fact that we’re monogamous and have been repeatedly HIV-tested, he won’t he let me fuck him without a condom. I don’t understand his position on this. I’ve always thought that one of the benefits of a monogamous relationship is sexual freedom within the relationship. But no such luck. I’ve tried to discuss it, but we haven’t gotten anywhere. I’ve fooled around a bit with a guy at work, mostly just groping each other in the parking lot. Tom has expressed an interest in some of the very activities that seem to repel John, including barebacking, with me as the top. He would even do it in his car in the back of the parking lot, during work hours, which is exactly the kind of fantasy I think is hot. Tom swears he’s HIV-negative. 1 don’t want a relationship with him, but I’m tempted by his offer. What should I do? —Homy for More D ear H orny for M ore : If you’ve outgrown your monotonous monogamous relationship, tell John the tmth: You love him, but your sexual relationship is boring, and you’re considering having sex with other men. Maybe John fears unprotected sex with you because he doesn’t tmst you or because he himself hasn’t been faithful. Either way, it’s time for an honest and thorough discussion. Tell him that you’d like to be more sexually adventurous together and that while he won’t necessarily have to hang a sling over the bed or participate in your prison warden fantasy, the status quo is not working for you. If expanding your sexual repertoire isn’t an option, maybe you can change your agreement to include sex with others, either together or apart. Of course, this discussion could be a deal-breaker, but it’s a far better choice than sneaking around behind John’s back. Regardless of what happens with him, barebacking with Tom isn’t the way to go. His assurance that he’s HIV-negative doesn’t mean much; if he was infected within the past few weeks, he wouldn’t know it now. And what makes you think you’re the only one who’s been offered Tom’s ass in the parking lot? JF1 M eryl C ohn is the author of Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette. Signed copies are available directly from the author. Send questions or correspondence to msbehavun@aol.com.