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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (May 20, 2005)
__________________________ may 20. 2005 » jt—t «**35 ADVICE ........... ▼............. a small, diverse, open and progressive community of faith that extends a warm welcome to all people (10 am Sunday 4775 N Lombard St 503 289-7843 www.upumc.net) SPIRITUALITY Metro: Spirituality Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for Christian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm Thursday. 503 281 -0722) Atkinson Memorial Church a Umtanan Umversalist church, provides a spintual home for those looking for a liberal-minded, supportive and caring congregation in Oregon City (10:30 am Sunday 710 Sixth St. 503-656-7296) Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a community of progressive, political people explonng and celebrating the Chnstian faith. We are sexual minority and straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our children are valued members. (10:30 am Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave. 503 258 0992. www. bridgeportucc. org.) Congregation P'nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant, egalitarian, Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland. Meets several times a month at Portland State University Campus Ministries (PO Box 42187, Portland. OR 97242-0187. 503-248 4500. www. pnaiorpdx. org.) Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalis! a welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and children’s religious education. (10:30 am 1133NE 181st Ave.. Gresham 503-665-2628 office@eastrose.org www.eastrose org.) Eckankar—Religion of the Light and Sound of God holds worship services and maintains a library of materials. Leam how the Divine Spirit works throughout your own life in today's world. (10 am Sunday 7904 SE Milwaukie Ave 503-233-1595 www. eckankar org.) Enneagram Community of Portland offers mentonng, therapy, spintual direction, classes, workshops and retreats (enneagrampdx@aol com. www enneagramportland.com.) Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming congregation that values and affirms the sacredness of all people We invite and encourage everyone to find a place in the family of God. (10:15am Sunday. 27400 SE Stark St.. Troutdale. 503-661-4520.) First Congregational United Church of Christ is an open and affirming congregation in the liberal Christian tradition Church school and nursery care. (10.25 am Sunday 1126 SW Park Ave. 503228-7219) First Congregational United Church of Christ of Hillsboro is an open and affirming congregation explicitly welcoming everyone into its Christian community, fellowship and worship. Bible and book study groups, Sunday school and nursery care. (10:30 am Sunday. 494 E Mam St 503 648-4341 www.hillsboro-ucc org.) First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and affirming liberal religious community offenng a wide range of programs to nurture spintual growth, community and social justice Sunday service 9 and 11 am. (1011 SW 12th Ave. 503-228 6389 www firstunitarianportland. org.) Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St Philip Neri Catholic Church celebrates an affirming Mass followed by a social. (730 pm Friday. Paulist Center. 2408 SE 16th Ave 503 231 4955.) Integrity is a group of sexual minority Episcopalians and friends. Various locations throughout Oregon (Steven Norcross or Bruce 503 286 9111 brucepdxor@comcast net www integrityusa. org.) Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spintual directors from vanous world religious traditions, who are available for guidance, classes and retreats (Second Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave 503 2332026. ext. 3 www mterfaithspintualcenter.com.) Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive, small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate Eucharist at Bridgeport United Church of Christ A welcoming congregation. Catholic in tradition and Ecumenical in membership (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 503-6990473. www. komoniacommunity org.) Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist Church is a "house church* that bnngs gay and straight together Daily morning prayer and Sunday evening worship (503-281 3697 www tearsoup.com/metanoia) Metropolitan Community Church of Portland holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at 9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held dunng the J1 am service. (2400 NE Broadway 503 281 8868 mfo@mccportlandcom. www mccportland. com.) Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland offers several weekly gathenngs Everyone welcome1 (10 am Sunday. 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday 7:30 pm Wednesday meditation 2025 SE Yamhill St 503-232 8064 www nichiren shu org/portland.) Peace Church of the Brethren is a welcoming congregation (11 am Sunday 12727 SE Market St 503-254 6380 ) Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a center for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an all inclusive spintual philosophy similar to 12-step. Unity and Religious Science Impromptu wedding ceremonies available (503 777 0727 www portlandcenter org.) Pillow talk Waverly Heights United Church of Christ is open and affirming with worship, children's school and child care. (10 am summer, 11 am school year 3300 SE Woodward St. 503 238 1337. pastor@waverlyucc org. www waverlyucc org) Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation is an open and liberal religious community offenng intergenergtional services and religious education for youth and adults We welcome gay. lesbian, bi and trans members and nurture spintual growth living by Unitarian Universalist pnnciples (5 pm Sunday 3300 SE Woodward St 503 777-3704. www wyeast.pnwd. uua. org.) Christy Klep’s photographs of children and expectant families are on display through May 25 at Milagros. Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new moon Open to all men seeking alternative spiritual growth and community. Coffee hours start 9:30 am Saturdays at 3 Friends Coffeehouse. 201 SE 12th Ave. (503-235-0826. otter@pcez com.) Rose City Park Presbyterian Church a member of the Community of Welcoming Congregations and the Covenant Network of Presbytenans. is a vibrant, inclusive community of faith All God's children are welcome to join in our life and worship (10 am Sunday. 1907 NE 45th Ave. www rosecityparkpres org.) Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support organization for former and current Adventists who are queer as well as their family and fnends. (PO Box 49375. Sarasota. FL 34230-6375. 866- 732-5677. office@sdakinship org. www. sdakinship. org.) Southminster Presbyterian Church is an active member of the Community of Welcoming Congregations. Sunday school, nursery care, classes, community service activities and events for all ages and interests. (9 am Sunday chapel service. 10 am Sunday main worship service 12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton 503-644 2073 staff@southmin.com. www southmin com.) St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship (9 30 am Sunday: Noon Spanish language service 806 NE Alberta St. 503 281 4429 ) St. James Lutheran Church, a Reconciled in Christ congregation, welcomes all people for traditional, liturgical worship where we expenence God's reconciling love that sets all people free (9 and 11 am Sunday 1315 SW Park Ave. 503-227-2439. www stjameslutheranportland org.) St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been welcoming all people since 1863. (12:10 pm Wednesday and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday. Sunday school and child care at 10 am 1432 SW 13th Ave 503-223 6424) SisterSpirit offers women's spmtuahty celebrations, discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and classes. Schedule of events available All women are welcome. (Suite 102. 3430 SE Belmont St. Mailing address: PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207. 503 736 3297 sistersp@teleport. com) Unitarian Universalist Community Church of Washington County is an open and affirming liberal religious community offenng a variety of enrichment programs in addition to community and social action opportunities (9 and 11 am Sunday 22785 NW Birch St. Hillsboro 503 648 1720. www.uuccwc.org.) University Park United Methodist Church is YOUTH Zion United Church of Christ an open and affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a Christ-centered, warm, caring, multiage/race/cultural faith community (11 am Sunday 110 30 am summer). 2025 NE 23rd Ave . Gresham 503-665-8741.) Central Oregon: Spirituality United Church of Christ Congregational is an open and affirming congregation in The Dalles (9:20 am adult Sunday school. 10:30 am worship 1930 am summer). 111 E Fifth St 541 296-2909 ucccongl@netcnct. net www formmistry com/usorucofcucocc.) Washington: Spirituality Abundant Life Center assists the community in spintual growth. (10 am Sunday 111 W 39th St.. Vancouver. The Rev. Kathleen Verigin 360 573 2626. www.abundant-life-center.org.) First Congregational United Church of Christ has been an open and affirming congregation since 1992. extending God's extravagant welcome to all people, no matter who they are or where they are on life's journey. (1220 NE 68th St.. Vancouver 360-693 1476 www. vancouverucc org) Longview United Methodist Church is welcoming and reconciling. (10 am Sunday. 2851 30th Ave., Longview 360-425 4927.) Metropolitan Church of the Gentle Shepherd welcomes you. Bible study follows morning worship. (10:30 am and 6:30 pm Sunday. 2200 Broadway St.. Vancouver The Rev Harriet Barshofsky 360-695-1480) Michael Servitus Unitarian Universalist Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a home for the liberal religious spirit. (930 and 11.15 am Sunday. 4505 E 18th St.. Vancouver. 360 695 1891) St. Luke's Episcopal Church has welcomed all people since 1853. Traditional but never stuffy. (English 8 and 10 30 am Sunday Spanish: 1 pm Sunday Child care at 10 30 am 426 E Fourth Plain Blvd. Vancouver. The Rev. John Allen 360-696-0181 www stlukeschurch. info) Willamette Valley: Spirituality First Congregational Church. United Church of Christ is an open and affirming congregation offering worship and church school Child care provided and wheelchair accessible (9 30 am Sunday learning hour. 10 30 am worship 700 Marion St NE. Salem 503 363-3660 ) Metropolitan Community Church Two Rivers is a Christian church with pnmary outreach in the sexual minorities community (6 30 pm Sunday. 1166 Oak St.. Eugene) Wednesday. 4-11 pm Fnday 2100 SE Belmont St. 503-872-9664 www smyrc.org ) Metro: Youth Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. (12700 SW North Dakota St.. Suite 180 4129. Tigard. OR 97223 503 525-1177. glsen@glsenoregon.org. www glsenoregon org.) Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can't qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle exchange services that include those who inject hormones Provide transitional housing for youth 20 and younger and for those HIV-|3ositive and younger than 23. Need volunteers of all ages (10 am-6pm Monday Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave. 503-535 3800 www.outsidein.org.) Pride Project bnngs together Washington County queer and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly social events Also information, referral and advocacy services in Washington County (Molly 503 260 5792 molly@pndeprofect org ) Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center (SMYRC) offers support, recreation, counseling and referral to gay. lesbian, bt and trans kids 23 and younger Drop^m computer access, pool tables and an informal place to hang out Weekly trans, leadership and art support group meetings (4-9 pm Eastern Oregon: Youth Eastern Oregon Center for Independent Living offers support and advocacy to gay. lesbian bi. trans and questioning youth in Eastern Oregon (1021 SWFifth Ave., Ontario 541 889-3119 or 866-248-8369 eocil@eocil.org. www eocil org) Washington: Youth Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy to gay, lesbian, bl. trans and questioning youth in Vancouver. Meets every Tuesday in the basement of Youth House. (68 pm 1112 Columbia St. John 360-695 1325.) Willamette Valley: Youth Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender and Questioning Youth Group for ages 13 to 18 offers support, information a<id fun in Eugene. Free, confidential adult facilitated (Drop in 4 6 pm Friday Amazon Community Center 2700 Hilyard St 541684-3466) Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth Group for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday in Eugene (5 pm Koinonia Center 1414 Kincaid St 541 346 1134 ) My lover is critical and. Insensitive in bed! What to do? D ear M s . B ehavior : knows how to put up a tent in three minutes flat, but her inability to communicate with kindness and sensitivity means she’s a lousy lover. Toss her back and hold out for a partner who likes to read AND finds you sexy. I’ve been with my new girlfriend, Sandra, for two months, and we’re compatible in most ways. We both love literature and camping, and we have similar politics. She’s attractive and professional, with a job that keeps her busy but not unavailable. My only complaint about Sandra is sexual: In bed, she becomes this totally different person. She even has a different voice—a whiny, complaining Midwestern tone. Every time we have sex, she says things like: “No, Audrey! Not like that!” And “What the hell are you doing down there.7” And “Well, that’s just no good. Haven’t you ever done this before.7” It’s like being in bed with my overly critical mother. I’m starting to feel horrible about my ability to please her. I’ve talked to her about it and even tried to get her to tell me what she likes sexually when we’re NOT in bed, but she still can’t seem to stop. Now Sandra wants to go to sex therapy to work on “our problem.” Our problem? I’ve never had this happen before. 1 love her madly, except in bed. Surely something can be done, right? —Anxious Audrey I’m a consultant- for-hire in a conserva tive financial industry. Recently, a local newspaper profiled me and my work. When the reporter came to my hofne to interview me, I briefly introduced him to my partner, Tom. I assumed the reporter would be discreet, since Tom has nothing to do with my business life, and rhe reporter didn’t ask any direct questions about my being gay. Much to my dismay, half of the article was about the reporter’s impressions of my private life, including my relationship with Tom. The whole “outing” of my private life upsets me, and I’m feeling too anxious to get anything done. I don’t think there has been any actual fallout yet, but how will I know if there is? How can 1 make sure my clients know I am still the person they thought I was before this article appeared in the paper? (I am straight looking and acting.) Should I issue a statement? —Banking on Your Answer [') ear A nxious A udrey : D ear B anking on Y our A nswer : Who needs a mean, inconsiderate lover? Someone so nasty and insensitive to your feelings during sex is not worthy of your trust in other matters. Masochism is only fun when it’s intentional, within boundaries acceptable to both people. This kind of ego-crushing, emotionally sadistic treatment is not what you signed up for. Hungry sex therapists may disagree, but this doesn’t sound like a case that’s worth the investment. If you said that you and Sandra used to have hot sex but it eventually fell apart and your desire began to wane, Ms. Behavior would encourage you to go to therapy to find out why and try to fix it. Or, if Sandra were sweet and patient but you just hadn’t figured out how to please her, sex therapy might help you communicate better in bed. In that case, Sandra could leam to ask for what she needed in a way that wouldn’t hurt or insult you—“Honey, it would be great if you could move your tongue a little higher”—ami you could become more adept at pleasing her. But sex therapy won’t turn Sandra’s mean streak into something else, especially if she needs to be nasty to get off. So cut your losses: Sandra may be a fun companion who D ear M s . B ehavior :- What sort of statement would you issue to your clients? An assurance that despite your homo lifestyle you’re just as manly as before? An affidavit swearing that you’ll never let your desire for cocksucking interfere with your fiduciary responsibilities? Maybe you could have your picture taken at a rodeo while you try to lasso a big hairy bull and include the photo in your next client mailing. This is clearly a case of someone else—perhaps a divine power?— doing something for you that you could not do for yourself. Namely, growing up and coming out. At this point, anything you say in attempt to discredit the reporter’s observation that you’re gay would make you look like a liar or a self- loathing wimp. Try to muster up the attitude that your sexual orientation is a neutral fact, like hair color or shoe size, and expect others to do the same. It’s a lot better than parading your silly internalized homophobia for all to see. jn M eryl C ohn is the author of Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette. Signed copies are available directly from the author. Send questions or correspondence to mshehavior@aol . com.
