ADVICE
▼
opportunities (9 and 11 am Sunday 22785 NW Birch
St. Htlsboro 503648 1720 www uuccwc org)
SPIRI T L A L 1 T Y
Metro: Spirituality
University Park United Methodist Church is a
Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for
Chnstian meditation and prayer. (730 pm Thursday
5032810722.)
smal. Averse. open and progressive community of faith
that extends a warm welcome to all people (10 am
Sunday 4775 N Lombard St 503289 7843
www upumc.net)
Atkinson Memorial Church a Unitarian
Congregation P'nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
egalitarian. Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland
Meets several times a month at Portland State
University Campus Ministries (PO Box 42187.
Portland. OR 97242 0187 503248 4500
www pnaiorpdx org.)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a
welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and
children's religious education. (1030 am 1133 NE
181st Ave. Gresham 503 665 2628
office@eastroseorg www eastrose org )
Eckankar—Religion of the Light and Sound of
God holds worship services and maintains a library of
matenals Leam how the Divine Spirit works throughout
your own life in today s world (10 am Sunday 7904 SE
Milwaukie Ave 503-233-1595 www eckankar org)
Enneagram Community of Portland offers
mentoring, therapy, spiritual direction, classes,
workshops and retreats (enneagrampdx&aol.com
www enneagramportland com.)
Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming
congregation that values and affirms the sacredness of
all people. We invite and encourage everyone to find a
place in the family of God. (10:15am Sunday
27400 SE Stark St. Troutdale 503-6614520.)
First Congregational United Church of Christ
is an open and affirming congregation in the liberal
Chnstian tradition Church school and nursery care.
(10:25 am Sunday 1126SW Park Ave 503228 7219 )
First Congregational United Church of Christ
of Hillsboro is an open and affirming congregation
explicitly welcoming everyone into its Chnstian
community, fellowship and worship. Bible and book
study groups. Sunday school and nursery care.
(10 30 am Sunday 494 E Mam St 5036484341
www hillsboro-ucc org)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offering a wide
range of programs to nurture spintual growth,
community and social justice. Sunday service 9 and
11 am. (1011 SW 12th Ave 503 2286389
www firstumtananportland org.)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St Philip
Nen Catholic Church celebrates an affirming Mass
followed by a social (7 30 pm Friday Pauhst Center.
2408 SE 16th Ave. 503 2314955 )
Integrity is a group of sexual mmonty Episcopalians
and fnends. Various locations throughout Oregon
(Steven Norcross or Bruce 503 2869111
brucepdxorQcomcast net www mtegrityusa org)
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spintual
directors from various world religious traditions, who are
available for guidance, classes and retreats (Second
Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave 5032332026. ext 3.
www mterfarthspintualcenter com )
Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive,
small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate
Euchanst at Bndgeport United Church of Christ A
welcoming congregation. Cathobc in tradition and
Ecumenical in membership (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th
Ave 503699-0473 www komonacommunity org )
open and affirming with worship, children s school and
child care. (10 am summer. 11 am school year
3300 SE Woodward St 503238 1337
pastor&waverlyucc org www waverlyucc org )
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation is
Gay singer/songwriter/multi-
instrumentalist Maia Sharp performs
May 19 at Aladdin Theater.
Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland offers
several weekly gathenngs. Everyone welcome1 (10 am
Sunday. 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday 7 30 pm
Wednesday meditation 2025 SE Yamhill St
503 232-8064 www nichiren shu org/portland )
Peace Church of the Brethren s a welcoming
congregation. (11 am Sunday 12727 SE Market St
503 254-6380 )
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a center
for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an
all-inclusive spiritual philosophy similar to 12-step. Unity
and Religious Science Impromptu wedding ceremonies
available. (503 777 0727 www portlandcenter org)
an open and liberal religious community offering
intergenerational services and religious education for
youth and adults. We welcome gay. lesbian, tn and trans
members and nurture spiritual growth living by Unitarian
Universalist principles. (5 pm Sunday 3300 SE
Woodward St. 503 777 3704
www wyeast pnwd uua org.)
Zion United Church of Christ in open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi. trans
and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a
Christ-centered, warm, caring, multiage/race/cultural
faith community. (11 am Sunday (1030 am summed
2025 NE 23rd Ave. Gresham 5036658741.)
Central Oregon: Spirituality
United Church of Christ Congregational s an
open and affirming congregation in The Dalles (920 am
adult Sunday school. 1030 am worship (9 30 am
summed 111 E Fifth St 541 296 2909
ucccongl@netcnct net
www formmistry com/usorucofcucocc.)
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with
potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new moon.
Open to all men seeking alternative spintual growth and
community. Coffee hours start 9:30 am Saturdays at
3 Friends Coffeehouse. 201 SE 12th Ave
(503-235-0826 otter@pcez.com )
Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support
organization for former and current Adventists who are
queer as well as their family and fnends (PO Box
49375, Sarasota. FL 342306375 866 7325677
office@sdakmship org www sdakinship org)
Southminster Presbyterian Church is an active
member of the Community of Welcoming
Congregations Sunday school, nursery care, classes,
community service activities and events for all ages and
interests. (9 am Sunday chapel service. 10 am Sunday
mam worship service 12250 SW Denney Road.
Beaverton 503-644 2073 staff@southmm com
www.southmin.com.)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship
(9 30 am Sunday. Noon Spanish language service
806 NE Alberta St 503281 4429)
St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in
Christ congregation, welcomes all people for traditional,
liturgical worship where we experience God's
reconciling love that sets all people free. (9 and 11 am
Sunday 1315 SW Park Ave 503 2272439
www st/ameslutheranportland org )
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been
welcoming all people since 1863 (12:10 pm
Wednesday and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday
school and child care at 10 am 1432 SW 13th Ave
503 2236424)
SisterSpirit offers women’s spirituality celebrations,
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes Schedule of events available. AH women are
welcome (Suite 102. 3430 SE Belmont St Mailing
address PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207
503 736-3297 srstersp@teleport com )
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Washington County is an open and affirming liberal
rekgnus community offering a variety of enrichment
programs n addrtion to community and social action
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life Center assists the community in
spintual growth (10am Sunday 111 W39th St.
Vancouver The Rev Kathleen Vengin 360-573-2626
www abundant life-center org.)
First Congregational United Church of Christ
has been an open and affirming congregation since
1992. extending God's extravagant welcome to all
people, no matter who they are or where they are on
life's journey (1220 NE 68th St.. Vancouver
360-6931476 www vancouverucc org)
Longview United Methodist Church is
welcoming and reconciling. (10 am Sunday 2851 30th
Ave. Longview 360-425 4927 )
Metropolitan Church of the Gentle Shepherd
welcomes you Bible study follows morning worship.
(10 30 am and 6 30 pm Sunday 2200 Broadway St.
Vancouver The Rev Harriet Barshofsky
360-695 1480)
Michael Servitus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship, a Welcoming Congregation, provides a
home for the liberal religious spirit (9 30 and 11:15 am
Sunday 4505 E 18th St . Vancouver 360-695 1891.)
St. Luke's Episcopal Church has welcomed all
people since 1853 Traditional but never stuffy (English
8 and 10 30 am Sunday Spanish 1 pm Sunday Child
care at 1030 am 426 E Fourth Plain Blvd. Vancouver
The Rev John Allen 3606960181
www stlukeschurch .info.)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church United Church of
Christ is an open and affirming congregation offering
worship and church school. Child care provided and
wheelchair accessible (930 am Sunday learning hour.
10 30 am worship 700 Manon St NE. Salem
503-363 3660)
I ***-----»---- I
Metropolitan vomniunity vnurcn iwo nnrer» is
a Christian church with pnmary outreach in the sexual
minorities community (630pm Sunday 1166 Oak St..
Eugene)
Fnday. 2TOO SE Belmont St 5038729664
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Church is a ‘house church' that brings gay and
wnn1r.intyK.cs9J
straight together Darty morning prayer and Sunday
evening worship (503 281 3697
www tearsoup com/metancxa)
Eastern Oregon: Youth
w/' >
Living aferWppM and «Noc^toga^iXan. bl.
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held during
the 11 am service (2400 NE Broadway 503-281 8868
infoGmccportland com www mccportlandcom)
tons and questioning youth M Eastern Oregon
(1021 SW Fifth Awe„ Ontario. 5418893119 or
8662488369. oocfOeoaiorg wwweoci.org >
Washington: Youth
THpl» PieiM offers education. support and adrocacy
to oav {nation, bt. trana and westkxwiQ youth in
Vancouver. Meets every Tuesday in th» basement, of
Youth House. 4M pm tltiCdurritySl John
3604991325J
Gay comedian James Williamson
performs May 7 at Windows.
Partner envies Mr. Right’s sown oats
Waverly Heights United Church of Christ is
Universalist church, provides a spintual home for those
looking for a liberal-minded, supportive and caring
congregation in Oregon City (1030 am Sunday 710
Sixth St 5036507296)
Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a
community of progressive, political people exploring and
celebrating the Christian faith We are sexual mmonty
and straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our
children are valued members (10:30 am Sunday
621 NE 76th Ave 503 2580992
www bndgeportucc org)
Measure of a man
trans,
M Í
I^EAR MS.
B ehavior :
I’m 34 and in an
eight-year monog
amous relationship
with a 38-year-olJ
man, the only
person I’ve ever
kissed or been
intimate with. I was
so paranoid about
diseases that I’d go
on dates with other
guys but send them
on their way when
1 realized our
personalities did not
click. I waited for Mr. Right and do
think 1 found him. My partner is
great. I le is loving, extremely
devoted and good-looking.
It was important to me to know
my partner’s past; when we first met
we discussed it extensively. However,
I recently learned that one of our
closest friends was a former fling of
my partner’s. I called my partner on
this, and he confessed that it was
tme. Soon I learned that his past was
more extensive than he’d
acknowledged.
I felt deceived and hurt that I
wasn’t given full disclosure. I’m
having a hard rime talking to my
friends now as well as my partner. I’m
questioning the relationship, and I
feel as if I’m competing with his past.
I feel like less of a man for not having
chosen the same path; if I had “sown
my oats” it would not be a big deal.
1 do realize my lack of an intimate
past Ls playing a big role in my
feelings. I feel tom between the best
thing that ever happened to me and
my need to feel like more of a man.
I hope you have gtxxl advice.
Thanks.
D ear G.:
Come on. Do you really think
you’re questioning your relationship
because your partner didn’t fully
disclose his sexual history? It sounds
like you just want to parlay your
feelings of betrayal into a few dozen
acts of fucking and sucking so you’ll
feel like “more of a man.”
Maybe that’s ultimately what
you’ll need to do, but you’ll be
happier if you do it from a conscious
place, rather than deluding yourself
about why you want to be with other
men. When your partner misled you
about his sexual experience from the
beginning, maybe he sensed that
revealing his whole slutty history
would scare you or make you feel
inadequate.
Now, after eight years of
monogamy, why does his past
matter? Why does your lack of
experience suddenly loom so large?
Would getting a few extra blow jobs
really make you feel like a man? If 90,
is your partner willing to allow you
to experiment? And even if “Mr.
Right" says it’s OK to go fuck your
brains out for a while, are you willing
to risk whatever may
happen to your
relationship?
You’d be wise to
wait and do nothing
for a while and see if
your feelings pass or
change into
something else.
Meanwhile, keep an
open dialogue with
your partner. Perhaps
he can help you think
of something else that
will make you feel
more manly: A new
hat? A big truck?
A new attitude?
D ear M s . B ehavior :
Recently my partner and 1
attended a (straight) baby shower for
her cousin’s wife. Her cousin didn’t
attend.
While driving home I asked my
partner, who will have a baby before
I do, if 1 can come to her baby
shower. She replied that since 1
would serve as the “husband,”
I would not be invited. 1 asked if I
would have a baby shower when I
was pregnant with our second child,
which would be my first. She said
she thought I should have one.
I don’t think it’s fair to ask our
families and friends to throw two
showers in light of the expense and
the fact that we’ll have stuff from the
first baby. 1 also want to go to her
baby shower because it will be our
first baby. What should I do?
—Baby Shower Blues
IT ear B aby S hlwer B lues :
Ms. Behavior has a news flash for
your partner: When lesbians create
their own celebrations, they don’t
need to follow heterosexual
traditions. Lesbians can do whatever
they want. We don’t have to makes
silly hats from wrapping paper at
baby showers. We don’t have to
exclude men. And even if some
lesbians do exclude men or husbands
from their baby showers, you’re not a
man or a husband! If you want to
attend your Raby’s shower, you
should be able to do so.
If somehow you end up
submitting to your partner’s
ridiculous mle that you can’t attend
her baby shower, then you should
have your own. But Ms. Behavior
senses a dangerous precedent, where
one baby will be considered your
partner’s and one will be yours. You’ll
have a happier family experience if
you can integrate both babies into
both of your lives. Attending your
partner’s baby shower seems like a
step in that direction, jm
M eryl C xthn is the author of Do
What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to
Gay and Lesbian Etiquette. Signed
copies are available directly from the
author. Send questions or
correspondence to
msbehavior@aol.com.