30
FILM
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Queer ears
The Phantom off the Opera
hile college theses and lxx>ks have under
taken the task to deconstruct exactly
why gay men are so drawn to Broadway
musicals, one of those shows that defies easy
categorization as “queer friendly” is Andrew
Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera.
Sure, it has a tragic and misunderstcxxl lead
male who hides his true self, hut who wants to
and a ccxlpiece, Schumacher’s overly gaudy
compare their closet to the dank dungeons of
stamp is all over the screen.
rhe Phantom—or their hair-don’ts with a mis
But is it fair to blame the director for set
shapen face?
designs that kxik as if King Midas got touchy-
Yes, it has a comely heroine in Christine,
feely during an orgy? After all, by now, even
who’s tom between suitor Raoul’s true love and
Schumacher must realize no one comes to his
money and the Phantom’s charisma and career
films expecting subtlety, so he gives none here.
advancing lessons, hut Christine is neither the
Which is not to say that his Phantom is a fail
take-charge ballsy bitch nor the oppressed
ure. Au contraire. Schumacher’s Phantom is so
woman we secretly r<x)t for, both of which are
close to Webber’s, stage version that 1 had to
popular themes for showtune queens.
research to figure out what few scenes were miss
Yes, Phantom has shamelessly-stolen-from-
ing from the original (to make rixim for a dread
Puccini music that swells and recedes, yet it
fully shcx-'homed-in origin for Li’l Phantom).
also alternately threatens to induce sleep or
Gerard Butler does an acceptable turn in
confusion, depending on the length of the love
the lead role, thankfully not aping Michael
ballads or the five-person counter-songs.
Crawford’s original take on the character.
So it must be the chandelier. Gorgeous and
Emily Rossum is a pretty and winsome Chris
full of crystalline lights, the crashing chandelier
tine, and both Minnie Driver (as a bitchy diva)
is as orgasmic a sight-for many gay men as a car
and Miranda Richardson (as an uptight ballet
jumping through a fireball is for hetero guys.
mistress) shine. Only Patrick Wilson dis
Gay director Joel Schumacher knows chan
appoints, showing both zero charisma and a
deliers, as well as gilded statuary, dark-cloaked
lack of lip-sync ability that would make Ashlee
men in shadows and overwrought music. After
Simpson blush.
all, this is the man who went from The Lost
—Andy Mangels
Boys to Batman & Robin, and although the
Phantom has not been reimagined with nipples
W
<
Tone-deaf musical directors Joel Schumacher
and Kevin Spacey can’t compete
with visionary artist who’s actually losing his hearing
Beyond the Sea
obby Darin died when he was 37. Kevin
Spacey is 46. His Darin biopic, Beyond the
Sea, is dead in the water.
Although Spacey acquits himself nicely
doing all of his own singing and dancing, one
can never escape the fact that he’s just tix> old
to play a baby-faced lounge singer.
Darin enjoyed a huge pop and film follow
ing in rhe 1960s—he was the highest-paid
singer in Vegas—but his life was a race against
time. A bout of rheumatic fever left his heart
damaged at the age of 8; his d<x:tor predicted
he wouldn’t live past 15. This Sword of
Damocles sparked his frantic work ethic and
tireless ambition.
Darin’s story—his drive and his meteoric rise
to fame; his celebrity marriage to Sandra Dee,
the No. 1 box office star at rhe rime (imagine
marrying Julia Roberts); his political awakening;
and his surprise discovery that his sister was
The Phantom menace: A young singer (Golden
actually his mother—invites dramatization. Yet
Globe nominee Emily Rossum) is charmed by a | Spacey, who is credited with the screenplay, has
mysterious specter who haunts the Paris Opera
written a downright dull movie filled with silly
house (Gerard Butler) in Joel Schumacher’s
cliches. (“Memories are like moonbeams; we do
gaudy musical
what we want with them.” Huh?)
B
I
VIDEO MAGAZINES
While the supporting cast (including Boh
Hoskins, Brenda Blethyn and, especially, Caro
line Aaron as his sister) is terrific, when an
actor writes, directs, produces and stars, you
naturally f<x:us on him, which brings us hack to
the age problem.
Older men playing opposite much younger
women is an established movie tradition.
(Remember Clint Eastwixxl and Rene Russo in
In the Line of Fire or Richard Gere and Winona
Ryder in Autumn in New York? lek!). But seeing
Spacey w<x> Kate Bosworth (Win a Date with
Tad Hamilton!) as Sandra Dee just feels wrong.
In the film, Darin’s manager calls him
“brash, c<x:ky and arrogant.” But the middle-
aged Spacey, with his doughy face, deep lines
and double chin, doesn’t exude a young man’s
energy and enthusiasm, no matter how hard he
tries. I can’t help wondering what Beyond the
Sea would have been like with Matt Damon or
Ewan McGregor (who was so Darin-like in rhe
musical number that played during the closing
credits of Down with Dive) instead.
—Floyd Sldaver
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t seems to me poetry is better than prose,
and ptxjtry with music is heightened
poetry. And that’s what opera is—it’s
heightened experience.”
That’s how gay artist David Hockney sum
marizes his passion for the fat lady in The Col
ors of Music, screening Jan. 9 as part of the
Northwest Film Center’s 22nd annual Reel
Music Festival. (See Page 24 for details.)
As an opera virgin, I wasn’t sure what to
expect from this documentary, which takes us
behind the scenes to watch the celebrated
painter design sets for several productions per
formed around the world. It turns out Hockney
brings a fresh outsider’s perspective to the
stage, adding new visual flavor to old musical
compositions.
Mixing media is nothing new for H<x:kney,
whose works include 1961 ’s We Two Boys
Clinging Together, a painting that incorporated
graffiti-like text from a Walt Whitman poem,
Kevin Spacey rocks the cradle with Kate
Bosworth in the Bobby Darin biopic
Beyond the Sea
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David Hockney:
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Gay artist David Hockney creates
The Colors of Music
and 1967’s Illustrations for Fourteen Poems by
CPC Cavafy, a series of etchings to accompany
homosexual verse by the Greek writer.
Nonetheless, it’s impressive to see Hockney
remain relevant at the age of 67. He makes a
sly reference to current events in his analysis of
the Eric Satie ballet Parade: “The messages are
against war. We begin, as it were, with the ugli
ness of war and end with the innocent vision
of a child that thinks kindness is our only
hope. I like that.”
Sadly, Hixzkney is going deaf from a genetic
condition, so he doesn’t have much longer to
enjoy the music that accompanies his colorful
décor. But he maintains a bright outlook on life
that is a joy to behold: “We are all touched by
tragedy...yet we’re not, unfortunately, all
touched by the comic. Life must have two
sides.”
—Jim Radosta jH