ADVICE
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SPIRITUALITY
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St Philip
Metro: Spirituality
Neri Catholic Church celebrates an affirming Mass
followed by a social (730 pm Friday. Paulist Center.
2408 SE 16th Ave 503-231-4955) (7105)
Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for
Integrity is a group of sexual mmonty Episcopalians
Chnstian meditation and prayer (7:30 pm Thursday
503-281 -0722.) (7/05)
and friends. Vanous locations throughout Oregon
(Steven Norcross or Bruce 503-286-9111
brucepdxor@comcast.net www mtegntyusa.org) (7/05)
Atkinson Memorial Church a Umtanan
Universalist church, provides a spintual home for those
looking for a liberal-minded, supportive and canng con
gregation in Oregon City. (10:30 am Sunday 710 Sixth
St. 503-656-7296) (7/05)
Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a commu
nity of progressive, political people explonng and cele
brating the Chnstian faith We are sexual minority and
straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our children
are valued members (10:30 am Sunday 621 NE 76th
Ave. 503258-0992 www bndgeportucc org.) (7/05)
Congregation P'nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
egahtanan, Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland
Meets several times a month at Portland State
University Campus Ministries (PO Box 42187.
Portland. OB 97242-0187. 503-248-4500
wwwpnaiorpdx.org) (7/05)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a
welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and chil
dren's religious education. (10:30 am. 1133 NE 181st
Ave. Gresham 503-665-2628 ofhce@eastrose.org.
www.eastrose org.) (7/05)
Eckankar—Religion of the Light and Sound of
God holds worship services and maintains a library of
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spintual direc
tors from vanous worid religious traditions, who are
available for guidance, classes and retreats (Second
Hoor. 3910 SE 11th Ave 503-233-2026. ext 3
www interfaithspiritualcenter com.) (7/05)
is an open and affirming congregation in the liberal
Chnstian tradition Church school and nursery care
(10:25 am Sunday. 1126 SW Park Ave. 503-228-7219.)
(7/05)
First Congregational United Church of Christ
of Hillsboro is an open and affirming congregation
explicitly welcoming everyone into its Christian
community, fellowship and worship Bible and book
study groups. Sunday school and nursery care.
(10 30 am Sunday 494 E Mam St. 503-648-4341
www.hillsboro-uccorg.) (7/05)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offering a wide
range of programs to nurture spiritual growth,
community and social justice. Sunday service 9 and
11 am (1011 SW 12th Ave 503-228-6389
wwwfirstumtananportlandorg.) (7/05)
spiritual growth (10am Sunday 111 W39th St..
Vancouver The Rev Kathleen Vengin 360-573 2626
wwwabundant-hfe-center.org.) (7/05)
D ear N ot a H oliday S ell -O ut :
affirming congregation, invites all to worship services
and ongoing programs in spiritual development,
community outreach, music and arts education (8 am
Sunday Rite I chapel service. 10 am Sunday Rite II
cathedral service 147 NW 19th Ave 503-2229811.
www tnmty-episcopal org.) (7/05)
Unitarian Universalist Community Church of
straight together Daily morning prayer and Sunday
evening worship. (503-281-3697
wwwtearsoup.com/metanoia) (7/05)
Washington County is an open and affirming liberal
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am. Sunday school for children is held dunng
the 11 am service. (2400 NE Broadway 503-281-8868
mfo@mccportland.com www mccportlandcom.) (7/05)
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a center
for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an
all-inclusive spintual philosophy similar to 12-step, Unity
and Religious Science Impromptu wedding ceremonies
available (503-777-0727. www portlandcenter org)
(7/05)
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with
potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new moon
Open to all men seeking alternative spiritual growth and
community Coffee hours start 9 30 am Saturdays at
3 Friends Coffeehouse, 201 SE 12th Ave.
(503-235-0826 otter@pcez.com.) (7/05)
Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support orga
nization for former and current Adventists who are
queer as well as their family and fnends (PO Box
49375. Sarasota. FL 34230-6375 866-732-5677
office@sdakinship.org www sdakinship org.) (7/05)
St. Andrew
Catholic
Church invites all
to join a diverse
faith community for
prayer and fellow
ship. (9:30 am
Sunday: Noon
Spanish language
service 806 NE
Alberta St.
503-2814429)
(7/05)
St. James
Lutheran
Church a
Reconciled in
Christ congrega
tion. welcomes all
people for tradi
tional. liturgical
worship where we
experience God's
reconciling love
Debra Beers' “American Brigade" is on display through Jan. 29
at Mark Woolley Gallery
religious community offenng a vanety of enrichment
programs in addition to community and social action
opportunities. (9 and 11 am Sunday 22785 NW Birch
St.. Hillsboro. 503-648-1720 www uuccwc.org) (7/05)
Waverly Heights United Church of Christ is
open and affirming with worship, children's school and
child care (10 am summer, 11 am school year
3300 SE Woodward St. 503238-1337
pastor@waverfyucc org. www.waverlyucc org.) (7/05)
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation
is an open and liberal religious community offering inter-
generational services and religious education for youth
and adults We welcome gay, lesbian, bi and trans mem
bers and nurture spintual growth living by Unitarian
Universalist principles (4 pm Sunday 3915 SE Steele
St. 503-777-3704 www wyeastpnwd.uua org.) (7/05)
Zion United Church of Christ an open and affirm
ing congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and
heterosexual people who wish to worship in a Christ
centered. warm, canng. multiage/race/cultural faith
community (11 am Sunday 110 30 am summer)
2025 NE 23rd Ave. Gresham 503-665-8741 ) (7/05)
Central Oregon: Spirituality
United Church of Christ Congregational is an
open and affirming congregation in The Dalles (920 am
adult Sunday school. 10:30 am worship [9.30 am sum
mer) 111 EFifth St. 541-296-2909 ucccongl@netc-
net net www formimstry com/usorucofcucocc.) (7/05)
Washington: Spirituality
Longview United Methodist Church is welcom
ing and reconciling. (10 am Sunday 2851 30th Ave.
Longview 360-425-4927.) (7/05)
Metropolitan Church of the Gentie Shepherd
in Vancouver welcomes you (10 30 am and 630 pm
Sunday worship Bible study follows morning worship
2200 Broadway St The Rev Harriet Barshofsky
360-695-1480) (7/05)
Michael Servitus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a
home for the liberal religious spirit (9 30 and 11 15 am
Sunday 4505 E 18th St, Vancouver 360-695-1891.)
(7/05)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church United Church of
Christ is an open and affirming congregation offenng
worship and church school Child care provided and
wheelchair accessible (9:30 am Sunday learning hour.
10 30 am worship 700 Manon St. NE. Salem
503-363 3660) (7/05)
Metropolitan Community Church Two Rivers is
a Chnstian church with primary outreach in the sexual
minorities community. (630 pm Sunday 1166 Oak St.,
Eugene) (7705)
$
Y O U T FI
Metro: Youth
aocia events. Also information, referral and advocacy
services m Washington County. (Moly 503-260-5792
moUy@pndepro)6Ct org) (7/05)
Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center
(SMYRC) offers support and recreation to gay, lea
Netwerir (GLSEND mreetoaesure tf tar each mem
ber of every achod comrrwity is valued and respect
ed. regarcfees of aewai orientation or gender
riermty/expressfon. (12700 SW North Dakota St.
Suite 1904129. Tigard. OR 97223 503525-1177.
gisen@gisnnoregon.org. www ghseiioregon org) (7/05)
Outside In eperates 3 clinic for any me who can!
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as weB as needte
exchange aerviceB that indude those who inject hor-
monea. Provide transitional houamg for youth 20 and
younger and tor those HIV-positive and younger than
23 Need wtemeersirf al ages. (10 om6 pm Monday-
Friday. H82 SW 13th Ave 5O3-535-38OO.
www.oMdein.org.) (7/06)
IMdto Prak** brings together Washington County
D ear M s . B ehavior :
Abundant Life Center assists the community in
Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist
Trinity Episcopal Cathedral a welcoming and
Church is a "house church" that brings gay and
Peace Church of the Brethren is a welcoming
congregation. (11 am Sunday 12727 SE Market St.
503-254-6380 1(7/05)
First Congregational United Church of Christ
Scrooge of a boss frowns on holiday greetings
member of the Community of Welcoming
Congregations. Sunday school, nursery care, classes,
community service activities and events for all ages and
interests. (9 am Sunday chapel service. 10 am Sunday
mam worship service. 12250 SW Denney Road.
Beaverton 503-644-2073 staff@southmm com.
www southmin.com.) (7/05)
small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate
Euchanst at Bndgeport United Church of Christ. A wel
coming congregation, Catholic in tradition and
Ecumenical in membership (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th
Ave 503-699-0473. www komomacommunity org.)
(7/05)
Enneagram Community of Portland iffers men
toring, therapy, spiritual direction, classes, workshops
and retreats, (enneagrampdx@aol.com.
www enneagramportland com.) (7/05)
place in the family of God (10:15 am Sunday
27400 SE Stark St . Troutdale 503-661-4520.) (7/05)
SisterSpirit offers women s spirituality celebrations,
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes Schedule of events available All women are
welcome (Suite 102. 3430 SE Belmont St. Mailing
address PO Box 9246, Portland. OR 97207.
503-736-3297 sistersp@teleport.com.) (7/05)
Bah, humbug!
Southminster Presbyterian Church is an active
Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive,
Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland offers
several weekly gathenngs Everyone welcome1 (10 am
Sunday. 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday 7 30 pm
Wednesday meditation 2025 SE Yamhill St.
503-232-8064 www mchiren-shu org/portland) (7/05)
congregation that values and affirms the sacredness of
all people We invite and encourage everyone to find a
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been
welcoming all people since 1863. (12 10pm
Wednesday and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday
school and child care at 10 am 1432 SW 13th Ave
503-223-6424.) (7/05)
1 do not celebrate
any holidays; how
ever, when 1 am at
work, 1 tend to offer
holiday greetings,
especially in e-mails.
1 also sometimes say,
“I hope you had a
nice weekend,” or
some other pleas
antries.
My boss is
annoyed by -the
mixing of professional
and personal
greetings in a work
setting. She says,
“David, no one wants to hear your
subjective views on matters not per
taining to business." 1 think that to
wish someone a happy holiday or to
note a hope for all gcxxl things in the
new year helps soften things up in an
already too impersonal world.
The thing she really objects to is
that 1 wish people happiness in the
belief of their choice, even though 1
do not believe in God, whether in
celebration of Hanukkah, Christmas
or Kwanzaa.
1 would feel funny if I couldn’t
include my own friendly tone in my
correspondence. But do you think I
need to defer to my boss and just get
right down to business?
—Not a Holiday Sell-Out
matenals Leam how the Divine Spirit works throughout
your own life in today's world (10 am Sunday 7904 SE
Milwaukie Ave 503-233-1595. www eckankar org)
(7/05)
Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming
that sets all people free (9 and 11 am Sunday
1315 SW Park Ave 503-227-2439
www stiameslutheranportland org.) (7/05)
bian bi and trans youth 23 and younger. Drop-in com
puter access, pool tabfes and an informal place to hang
out weewy support meetings wtcnioe trans Toutn
Ci ft )up and the creative group Personal Deity Proxy
«-S pm Monday and Wednesday. 4 pm-nndnx^it Friday
and Saturday 2100 SE Belmont St. 503872-9664.
TTY 503231-9286 wwwsmyrcorg.)dt05)
Eastern Oregon: Youth
Washington: Youth
Triple Pebrt offers education, support end advocacy
to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth in
Vancouver Meets every Tuesday in the basement of
Youth House. &8 pm 1112 Columbia St John
36M95-1325) (7/05!
Willamette Valley: Youth
Queefimting WMrth ftSJpfor^ges 13to 18offers
support, information and fan m Eugene. Free, confiden
tial, addt •fociSfeted (Dtop st
pm Friday Amazon
Community Center, 2700 fHyerd St 541-684-3466 )
(7/05)
Living offers support and advocacy to g3y lesbian, bt.
trans and questioning youth m Eastern Oregon. (1021
SW 5th Ave. Ontario 641889-3119 or 895-248-8369.
eoai@eocl.otg. www eocH org.) (7/05)
Group forages 25 and younger meets every Monday
in Eugene (5 pm. Koinonia Center. 1414 KncekfSt.
S4l34&l134)(7/(/5)
ano quwKXHng yojn to pan ano Mrena monthly
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Whether or not you need to defer
to your Scrixige of a boss depends on
how and why she imposes her opin
ion on your e-mail niceties.
If the discussion has the feel of a
debate and your boss is merely offer
ing her judgment that the faithless
shouldn’t send holiday greetings, you
probably don’t have to stop your
friendly e-mail chatter. (You could
say that your greetings merely
acknowledge that religion has
become irrelevant in holiday celebra
tions and that for most people, at
least according to television,
Christmas is about iPixls and new
cars with bows, not devotion to Jesus
Christ or the Virgin Mother.)
But if your hiss feels that the
hearts and daisies in your correspon
dence reflect ptxirly on the compa
ny’s values or purpose, you’ll need to
do what she says and stick to the
point. If this feels stifling, you can
find another way to express yourself,
maybe by buying little butterfly stick
ers and pasting them on all of your
file folders.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
I was single for a long time and
thought it might always be that way,
but I finally met a really cool girl a
few months ago. Darlene and 1 have
been hanging out a lot, and it’s start
ing to get very real. I think I’m in
love with her.
But, there’s a new complication:
A few nights ago, when I got home
from work, Darlene told me she’d
watched a documen
tary on female-to
male transsexuals. We
chatted about it for a
while before bed.
The next morning,
she woke me up early
and told me that she
thinks she’s a trans
sexual and that she
wants to find a doctor
who will prescribe “T’
(testixsterone). 1 tried
to dismiss it because I
thought Darlene was
just reacting to the
dixmmentary, but she
seems serious.
Now she spends all of her time at
night looking at Web sites created by
“transmen.” She’s even started a blog
about her journey to manhood!
Why, after so many years of kx)k-
ing for the right girlfriend, do 1 find
one who wants to become my
boyfriend? I don’t know if I can
handle it.
Darlene isn’t sure she wants to
have the “bottom surgery,” so she
probably won’t have a dick. But
still.. .she wants to surgically remove
her breasts, and her goal is to “pass”
as a guy. She’s planning to change
her name to Derrick.
Would it be insensitive for me to
break up with her if she becomes a
guy? And if I stay with her, am I still
a lesbian?
—Confused
D ear C onfused :
This is a huge decision (or realiza
tion) for Darlene, so she’ll need time
to sort it out. Try not to decide what
her revelation means to your rela
tionship right away; it’s a complex,
emotionally charged issue that
requires a lot of patient discussion
and understanding from both of you.
It may be too s<x>n to decide
whether you’ll want to stay together
as lovers. It’s not like Darlene is
thinking of changing her hair color
and you’re just not sure if you’ll find
her blond highlights attractive.
Sexuality and gender are such deli
cate and specific issues; one could
hardly judge you fickle or “insensi
tive” if you find that you’re only
romantically interested in Darlene as
a woman.
If you consider yourself a lesbian
and you do stay with Darlene after
she becomes a dude, you’ll be a les
bian who’s in a relationship with a
dude. You won’t be the first.
If, however, you and Darlene
decide to break up, be sure to assert
your lesbianism: Keep Derrick as a
close friend forever, invite him over
for every holiday, and share custixly
of a pet, a child or a house plant. |H
M eryl C ohn is the author of Do
What 1 Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to
Gay and Lesbian Etiquette. Signed
copies are available directly from the
author. Send questions or correspondence
to mshehavurr@aol.com.