novemtisr 19.2004 » Just
SUtj 3 3
ADVICE
SPIRITUALITY
Metro: Spirituality
Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for
Christian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm Thursday.
503-281-0722.) (7/05)
Atkinson Memorial Church a Unitarian
Um versalist church, provides a spiritual home for those
looking for a liberal-minded, supportive and canng
congregation in Oregon City. (10:30 am Sunday 710
Sixth S t 503-656-7296.) (7/05)
Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a
community of progressive, political people explonng and
celebrating the Chnstian faith W e are sexual mmonty
and straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our
children are valued members. (10.30 am Sunday.
621 N E 76th Ave 503-258-0992
www bndgeportuccorg.) (7/05)
Congregation P'nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
egalitarian, Jew ish Renewal congregation in Portland
M eets several times a month at Portland State
University Cam pus M inistnes. (PO Box 42187,
Portland. O R 97242-0187 503-248-4500.
www pnaiorpdx.org.) (7/05)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a
welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and
children's religious education. (10 30 am 1133 N E
181st A v e . Gresham 503-665-2628.
offkeQ eastroseorg. www.eastrose.org.) (7/05)
Eckankar—Religion of the Light and Sound of
God holds worship services and maintains a library of
materials Learn how the Dnnne Spint works throughout
your own life in today’s world. (10 am Sunday 7904 SE
Milwaukie Ave. 503-233-1595 www eckankarorg.) (7/05)
The Enneagram Community of Portland offers
mentonng, therapy, spiritual direction, classes,
workshops and retreats (enneagrampdxQaol.com
wwwenneagram portlandcom .) (7/05)
Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming
congregation that values and affirms the sacredness of
all people W e invite and encourage everyone to find a
place in the family of God. (10:15am Sunday.
27400 S E Stark St.. Troutdale 503-661-4520 7(7/05)
First Congregational United Church of Christ
is an open and affirming congregation in the liberal
Chnstian tradition Church school and nursery care
(10:25 am Sunday 1126 S W Park Ave 503-228-7219.)
(7/05)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offering a wide
range of programs to nurture spiritual growth,
community and social justice. Sunday service 9 and
11 am. (1011 S W 12th Ave. 503-228-6389
www firstunitananportland org.) (7/05)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of S t Philip
Nen Catholic Church celebrates an affirming M ass
followed by a social (7 3 0 pm Friday Paulist Center,
2408 S E 16th Ave. 503-231-4955)0/05)
Integrity is a group of sexual minority Episcopalians
and friends. Various locations throughout Oregon
(Steven N orcross or Bruce 503 2 8 & 9 1 11.
brucepdxorQcom cast.net www mtegntyusa org.) (7 /05)
Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland offers
several weekly gatherings Everyone welcom e1 (10 am
Sunday. 7 3 0 am Tuesday and Thursday 73 0 pm
W ednesday meditation. 2025 S E Yamhill S t
503-232-8064 www nichiren-shu org/portland) (7/05)
Peace Church of the Brethren is a welcoming
congregation (11 am Sunday 12727 S E M arket S t
503-254 6380 ) ( 7/05)
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a center
for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an
all-inclusive spintual philosophy similar to 12-step, Unity
and Religious Science Impromptu wedding ceremonies
available (503-777-0727 w w w portlandcenterorg) (7/05)
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with
potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new moon
Open to all men seeking alternative spintual growth and
community. Coffee hours start 9 30 am Saturdays at
3 Friends Coffeehouse, 201 SE 12th Ave.
(503-235-0826 otterQpcez.com .) (7/05)
Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support orga
nization for former and current Adventists who are
queer as well as their family and fnends (PO Box
49375. Sarasota. FL 34230-6375 866 732-5677
officeQsdakinship org www sdakinship org .)( 7/05)
programs in addition to community and social action
opportunities (9 and 11 am Sunday 22785 N W Birch
St.. H illsboro 503-648-1720 www uuccwc o rg ) (7/05)
Waveriy Heights United Church of Christ is
open and affirming with worship, children's school and
child care (10 am summer. 11 am school year
3300 S E Woodward S t 503-238-1337
pastorQw avedyucc org www.waverlyucc org.) (7/05)
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation
is an open and liberal religious community offering
intergenerational services and religious education for
youth and adults We welcom e gay'lesbian. bt and
trans members and nurture spiritual growth living by
Unitarian Universalist principles (4 pm Sunday
3915 S E Steele S t 503-777-3704
www wyeast.pnwd uua org.) (7/05)
Zion United Church of Christ an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi. trans
and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a
Chnst-centered. warm, caring, m ultiage/race/cultural
faith community. (11 am Sunday 110 30 am summer]
2025 N E 23rd A v e . Gresham 503 665 S74 7.7 (7/05)
Central Oregon: Spirituality
Southminster Presbyterian Church is an active
member of the Community of Welcoming
Congregations. Sunday school, nursery care, classes,
community service activities and events for all ages and
interests (9 am Sunday chapel service. 10 am Sunday
main worship service 12250 S W Denney Road.
Beaverton 503-644 2073 staffQsouthmm com
www.southmm.com) (7/05)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship
(9:30 am Sunday; Noon Spanish language service.
806 N E Alberta S t 503-281 -4429.) (7/05)
St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in
Chnst congregation, welcom es all people for traditional
liturgical worship where we expenence God's
reconciling love that sets all people free (9 and 11 am
Sunday 1315 S W Park Ave 503 227-2439
www st/ameslutheranportland org.) (7/05)
United Church of Christ Congregational is an
open and affirming congregation in The Dalles. (9:20 am
adult Sunday school. 10 30 am worship 1930 am
summer!. I l l E F ifth St. 541-296-2909
uccconglQnetcnct.net.
www formimstry. com /usorucofcucocc) (7/05)
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life Center assists the community in
spiritual growth. (10 am Sunday. 111 W 39th St.,
Vancouver The Rev Kathleen Verigin 360-573-2626
www abundant-life-center org.) (7/05)
Longview United Methodist Church s welcom
ing and reconciling (10 am Sunday. 2851 30th Ave.,
Longview 360-425-4927 )0 /0 5 )
Metropolitan Church of the Gentfe Shepherd
m Vancouver welcom es you (10:30 am and 6 30 pm
Sunday worship Bible study follows morning worship
2200 Broadway S t The Rev Harriet Barshofsky
360-695-1480)0/05)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been
welcoming all people since 1863. (12:10 pm
Wednesday and 7:45 and 10 am Sunday. Sunday
school and child care at 10 am. 1432 S W 13th Ave
503-223-6424) (7/05)
SisterSpirit offers women's spmtuality celebrations,
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes Schedule of events available A ll women are
welcome. (Suite 102, 3430 S E Belm ont S t M ailing
address PO Box 9246. Portland. O R 97207.
503-736-3297 sisterspQ teleport.com .) (7/05)
Trinity Episcopal Cathedral a welcoming and
affirming congregation, invites all to worship services
and ongoing programs in spintual development,
community outreach, music and arts education (8 am
Sunday Rite I chapel service. 10 am Sunday Rite II
cathedral service. 147 N W 19th Ave. 503-222-9811.
www.thmty-episcopal org.) (7/05)
Unitarian Universalist Community Church of
Washington County is an open and affirming liberal
religious community offering a variety of enrichment
Michael Servitus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a
home for the liberal religious spirit (9:30 and 11:15am
Sunday. 4505 E 18th S t , Vancouver 360-695-1891.)
(7/05)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church United Church of
Christ is an open and affirming congregation offering
worship and church school Child care provided and
wheelchair accessible (9 30 am Sunday learning hour,
10:30 am worship 700 Marion St. NE. Salem
503-363-3660)( 7/05)
Metropolitan Community Church Two Rivers is
a Chnstian church with pnmary outreach in the sexual
m inorities community. (6:30 pm Sunday 1 166 Oak St..
Eugene) 0 /0 5 )
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spintual
directors from various world religious traditions, who
are available for guidance, classes and retreats
(Second Floor, 3910 S E 11th A ve 503-233-2026.
ext. 3 www m terfaithspiritualcenter.com .) (7705)
Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive,
small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate
Euchanst at Bridgeport United Church of Christ A
welcoming congregation. Catholic in tradition and
Ecumenical in membership (6 pm Sunday. 621 N E 76th
A ve 503-699-0473. www komomacommunity org.)
(7/05)
Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist
Church is a "house church" that bnngs gay and
straight together Daily morning prayer and Sunday
evening worship (503-281 3697
www tearsoup.com /metanoia.) (7/05)
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held dunng
the 11 am service (2400 N E Broadway 503-281-8868
m foQm ccportland com. www m ccportland.com .H 7 705)
The "far out" musical revue Hâve a Nie e Day takes y ou on a trip back to the Nixon
era through Nov. 21 at the Chemeketa Communhy College auditorium in Salem
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
The G a y , Le s b ia n a n d S tr a ig h t E d u c a tio n
N e tw o rk j p U M MI strives to assure that each
member of «very school community is valued and
respected, regardless of sexual orientation or gender
idendty/expression (12700 S W North Dakota S i .
Suite 180 4129. Tigard. O R 97223 503525-1177
0senO gkenoregon.org w w w g fm xm g o n o rg .) (7/05)
O u t r id e la operates a clinic for anyone who can't
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as w ell »9 need«
exchange services that include those who inject hor
mones Provide trenabonal housing for youth 20 and
younger and for those H IVpositive and younger that
23. Meed volunteers of aft ages (W am -8p m
Mondoy-Fnday. 11 3 2 S W 13th A ve 503-535-3600
www.outstdem org.) (7/05)
b r id e P r oje c t bungs togethei W ashington County
queer and questioning youth to plan and attend
Washington: Youth
monthly social events A lso information, referral and
advocacy services m W ashington County. (M ofy
503-280-5792. m ofyQ prisieproject.org) (7/05)
( S M Y R O offers support and re cre e ta n to gay.
lesbian, bi and trans youth 23 and younger Drqp-in
com puter accese. p o d tables and an informal piece to
hang o u t W eekly support m eetings include Trans
Youth Group and the creative group Personal Deity
Proxy. (4-8 pm M onday and W edn&day. 4 pm -rkd-
mght Friday end Saturday. 2 1 0 Q $ E 8 elm o * t$ L
5 0 38 72 966 4. TTY 503-231 -9286 w m f.arhyit org.)
(7/05)
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Eastern Oregon: Youth
trans and questioning youth m Eastern Oregon (1021
S W 5th Ave.. Ontario. 541-889-3119 or 666-248-8389
e n cM e o rJ org www n o d org.) (7/05)
I H p le b e k * offers education, ¡support and advocacy
to gay. ¡estw n. bt. trans and questioning youth In
Vancouver M eets every Tuesday in the beeement of
Youth House (8-8 pm. t U 2 Colum bia S t John
360-696 1325 > (7/05)
Willamette Valley: Youth
t i* i, Leebfew. BL Tranagewdar ead
Q u M rim riN f « w * G ro u p for ages 13 to 10
offers support, information and fon ¡n Eugene Free,
confidential, adult-facilitated (Drop m 4-6 pm Fnday
Amazon Community Center. 2700 H fyard St.
5 4 1 6 $ 4 -3 4 d 6 )n /< £ l
L e e k k m , G e y . i l aex e r i, The e sp e n d e r Y o u th
C re e p for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday
in Eugene (5 pm Koinonia Center. 1414 K ir a * / &
541 346 i t 34J (7/05)
................. ▼ .............
Monster-in-law
Fiance doesn’t want his family
goin’ to the chapel
D ear M s .
Terry thought she’d
B ehavior :
have a job when she
My boyfriend
moved here, hut her
company downsized
and I are planning
and it didn’t work
our wedding for
next spring, and
out. She’s depressed
we’re already fight
about not having
ing over the guest
work hut doesn’t
list.
seem to he looking
I want to invite
for a new job. She
all our friends and
worries about money
relatives to join in
and complains that
our celebration.
she misses her moth
John doesn’t want to
er and her friends.
invite his mother
She lies on the couch
and brother, his only-
and cries a lot. We’re
remaining relatives.
not having fun
He feels that inviting them would
together anymore.
add “another whole layer of stress”
I’m not sure what to do. I love
and doesn’t think they’ll he comfort
Terry, hut I’m afraid of what lies
able or supportive. He’s alluded to a
ahead. Terry says she’s “not usually
rough childhood hut won’t talk
like this.”
about it. He just says that it’s “our
I’m worried about getting more
day” and that we should have things
deeply involved with someone who
the way we want them to he and
i has a depressive personality. I don’t
that he doesn’t want to conform to
want to end up wasting years of my
the heterosexual model of how to
life, only to realize we can’t he
have a wedding.
together because of her emotional
problems. Should I hail out now?
I feel that we should invite his
family because we’re making a public
— Scared
statement about our love and our
D ear S cared :
intentions and we should share that
with them. Should 1 insist that John
It’s too soon to hail out. Did Terry
invites his family? Or should I just
sleep with your personal trainer or
honor his feelings and shut up?
your mother? Did she sell your car
— K
for crack money? No. She’s just
l depressed, at least for the moment.
D ear K:
Is it hard for you to understand
why? Hello? She moved cross-coun
Express your feelings about John’s
try to he with you, and she lost her
refusal to invite his mother and
job, financial security and daily con
brother once and then shut up.
tact with her friends all at once.
Interviewing John about his child
hood won’t help; perhaps his mother
A bout of depression shouldn’t
he taken as an indication that she’s
locked him in the basement and his
not a wonderful person. How about
brother smashed his dollhouse. Or
trying a little compassion before
maybe they’re both just distant and
kicking her to the curb? Would you
disapproving and John doesn’t want
he so cavalier about ending the
to include them. Either way, the
relationship if she’d developed a
decision should he John’s, since he’s
the one who’ll he stressed hy their
physical illness?
Terry may need therapy or anti
presence.
depressants or just a job, hut in any
The notion that a wedding is a
case, she needs your support. She
public statement about your love and
probably senses that she’s on tnal,
intentions is a nice one, hut it’s best
which would add to her anxiety and
to consider what’s truly meaningful
depression
and perhaps even con
to you and your partner. Ultimately,
you'll he happier if you assign your
tribute toward immobilizing her.
own private meaning to your vows,
If your relationship doesn’t
rather than regarding your wedding
improve in another five or six
as a public relations event or proof
; months, you can always break up
that you love each other.
But it seems only fair to both of you
to give it a chance. Apparently, that
When the wedding is over and
was your intention when you asked
the guests have all gone home, you’ll
her to pack up and join you.
he left with each other. Whether or
not that’s good news depends a lot
So, try acting supportive (even if
on your ability to support (me anoth
you have to pretend). It may help
her out of her funk, which will make
er through difficult decisions.
you Kith happy. ¡D
D ear M s . B ehavior :
© Meryl Cohn 2004
After nine months, my wonderful
long-distance girlfriend, Terry, finally
M eryl C ohn is the author o f Do
moved in. At first I felt thrilled in
every way— 1 couldn’t believe she’d
What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide
to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette
actually move 2,000 miles to he with
(Houghton M ifflm ). Signed copies are
me! But now that she’s been here for
three months, she doesn’t seem so
available direedy from the author.
wonderful, and I’m not sure it was
Send questions or correspondence to
mshehavurr@aol.com.
the right decision.