.October 1 . 2 S M :
33
ADVICE
SPIRITUALITY
Metro: Spirituality
Anawim Community of gay men meets w eekly for
Christian meditation and prayer (7 3 0 pm Thursday
503-281 07 22 .) (7/05)
Atkinson Memorial Church a Unitarian
Um versalist church, provides a spiritual home for those
looking for a liberal-minded, supportive and caring con
gregation in Oregon C ity (1 0 3 0 am Sunday 710 Sixth
S t 503-656-7296) (7/05)
Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a commu
Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist
Church is a "house church" that brings gay and
straight together Daily morning prayer and Sunday
evening worship (503-281-3697
www tearsoup com/metanoia ) (7/05)
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
holds ecum enical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held during
the 11 am service (2400 N E Broadway 503-281-8868
mfo@mccportland com www mccportland com ) (7/05)
Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland offers
several weekly gatherings Everyone welcom e! (10 am
Sunday, 7.30 am Tuesday and Thursday 7 30 pm
Wednesday meditation 2025 S E Yamhill S t
503-232-8064 www mchiren-shu org/portland.) (7/05)
nity of progressive, political people explonng and cele
brating the Christian faith W e are sexual minority and
straight, multicultural and m ultiracial, and our children
are valued members, (10:30 am Sunday 621 N E 76th
A ve 503-258-0992 www.bndgeportucc.org.) (7/05)
congregation (11 am Sunday 12727 S E Market S t
503-254-6380) (7/05)
Congregation P’nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
egalitanan, Jew ish Renewal congregation in Portland
M eets several times a month at Portland State
University Campus M inistries. (PO Box 42187, Portland,
O R 97242-0187 503-248-4500 www pnaiorpdx.org.)
(7/05)
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth s a center
for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an
all-inclusive spiritual philosophy sim ilar to 12-step. Unity
and Religious Science. Impromptu wedding cerem onies
available. (503-777-0727. w w w portlandcenterorg)
(7/05)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a
Portland Radical Faeries meet tw ice a month with
welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and
children s religious education (10 30 am 1133 N E
181st A v e . Gresham. 503-665-2628
office@ eastrose.org www eastrose org.) (7/05)
potlucks and circle.s at the full moon and the new ’
moon. Open to all men seeking alternative spiritual
growth and community. C offee hours start 9 30 am
Saturdays at 3 Friends Coffeehouse, 201 S E 12th Ave
(503-235-0826 otter@pcez com .) (7/05)
Eckankar—Religion of the Light and
Sound of God holds worship services
Peace Church of the Brethren is a welcoming
SisterSpirit ffe [s women's spintuality celebrations,
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
cla sse s. Schedule of events available All women are
welcom e (Suite 102, 3430 S E Belmont S t Mailing
address: PO Bo x 9246, Portland. O R 97207
503-736-3297 sistersp@ teleport com ) (7/05)
Trinity Episcopal Cathedral a welcoming and
affirming congregation, invites all to worship services
and ongoing programs in spiritual development, com
munity outreach, music and arts education (8 am
Sunday Rite I chapel service. 10 am Sunday Rite II
cathedral service 147 N W 19th A ve 503-222-9811.
www, trinity-episcopal, o rg 7 (7 /05)
Unitarian Universalist Community Church of
Washington County is an open and affirming liberal
religious community offering a variety of enrichment
programs in addition to community and social action
opportunities (9 and 11 am Sunday 22785 NW Birch
S t.. Hillsboro 503-648-1720 w w w uuccwc o rg .)(7/05)
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation s
an open and liberal religious community offering inter-
generational services and religious education for youth
and adults W e welcom e gay, lesbian, bi and trans mem
bers and nurture spintual growth living by Unitanan
Universalist principles (4 pm Sunday. 3915 S E Steele
S t 503-777-3704 www w yea stp n w d u u a o rg .)(7/05)
Zion United Church of Christ in
open and affirming congregation, is open
to gay, lesbian, bi. trans and heterosexu
al people who wish to worship in a
Christ-centered, warm, canng, multi-
age/race/cultural faith community
(11 am Sunday 110:30 am summer).
2025 N E 23rd A v e . Gresham.
503-665-8741.) (7/05)
The Enneagram Community of
Portland offers mentoring, therapy,
spiritual direction, cla sse s, workshops
and retreats, (enneagrampdx@aol.com.
www enneagramportland com .) (7/05)
Faith United Methodist Church
Central Oregon:
is a welcom ing congregation that val
ues and affirm s the sacred n ess of all
people. W e invite and encourage
everyone to find a place in the fam ily of
God. (1 0 :1 5 a m Sunday. 2 7 4 0 0 S E
Sta rk S t., Troutdale 503-661-4520.)
(7 /0 5 )
Spirituality
United Church of Christ
Congregational s an open and affirm
ing congregation in The D alles (9 20 am
adult Sunday school, 10 30 am worship
19:30 am summer). 111 E Fifth St.
5 4 1 -296-2909 ucccongl@netcnct.net
www formimstry. com /usorucofcucocc.7
(7/05)
First Congregational United
Church of Christ is an open and affirm
ing congregation in the liberal Christian tra
dition. Church school and nursery care.
( 10 25 am Sunday. 1126 S W Park Ave
503-228-7219) (7/05)
Washington:
Spirituality
Belinki & Duprey Gallery celebrates Latin American art
and culture Oct. 4-Nov. 10
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of S t Philip
Neri Catholic Church celebrates an affirming M ass fol
lowed by a social. (7 30 pm Fnday Paulist Center,
2408 S E 16th Ave. 503-231-4955 ) (7/05)
Integrity is a group of sexual mmonty Episcopalians
and friends. Various locations throughout Oregon.
(Steven Norcross or Bruce 503-286-9111.
bmcepdxor@comcast net www integntyusa org .7 (7/05)
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spintual direc
tors from various world religious traditions, who are
available for guidance, cla sse s and retreats (Seco n d
Floor, 3910 S E 11th A ve 503-233-2026, ext. 3
www interfaithspihtualcenter.com) (7/05)
Keshet Portland is a potluck group for Jew ish mem
bers of the sexual mmonties community and their part
ners, spouses and supporters Its purpose is to help
build bridges with the larger Jew ish community
Monthly social, religious and cultural events (David
503-226-7079. ext 1 4 ) 0 / 0 5 )
Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive,
small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate
Eucharist at Bridgeport United Church of C h rist. A w el
coming congregation, Catholic in tradition and
Ecum enical in membership (6 pm Sunday 621 N E 76th
Ave 503-699-0473 www komoniacommunity o r q )
(7/05)
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Network (GLSEN ) strive s to assure that each
member of every school comm unity is valued and
respected regardless o f sexual orientation o r gender
identity/expression (12700 S W North Dakota S t..
Suite 180*12 9. Tigard. O R 97223 503-525-1177.
glsen@ glsenoregon.org w w w.glsenoregon.org )
(7 /0 5)
Outside In operates a clmic for anyone who can t
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan a s weB as needle
exchange services that include those who inject hor
m ones. Provide transitiona! housing for youth 20 and
younger a id for those HfV-posittve and younger than
23 Need volunteers of a# ages (10 am-6 pm Monday
Fnday. 1132 S W 13th A v e 503-535-3800.
www o u tsid ein o rg J (7 /0 5)
Pride Project bnngs together Washington County
queer and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly
Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support
organization for former and current Adventists who are
queer as well as their fam ily and friends. (PO Box
49375, Sarasota. FL 34230-6375 866-732-5677.
office@sdakmship org www sdakinship org.) (7/05)
Southminster Presbyterian Church s an active
member of the Community of Welcoming Congregations.
Sunday school, nursery care, classes, community service
activities and events for all ages and interests (9 am
Sunday chapel service. 10 am Sunday mam worship serv
ice 12250 S W Denney Road. Beaverton 503-644-2073
staff@southmm com www southmm co m ) (7/05)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship.
(9 3 0 am Sunday , Noon Spanish language service
806 N E Alberta S t 503-2814429 ) 0 / 0 5 )
St. Jam es Lutheran Church a Reconciled in
C hrist congregation, welcom es all people for tradition
al. liturgical worship where we experience God s recon
ciling love that se ts all people free. (9 and 11 am
Sunday 1315 S W Park A ve 503-227-2439
www stjameslutheranportland org 7 (7 /0 5)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been wel
coming all people since 1863 (12 10 pm Wednesday
and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child
care at 10 am 1432 S W 13th Ave 503-223-6424 )
0/05 )
social events. Also «form ation, referral and advocacy
services in W ashington County (Molly 503-260-5792
motty@prideprojectorg, 7 (7/05)
Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center
(SM YRC) offers support and recreation to gay. les
bian, bi and tra is youth 23 and younger Drop-in com
puter a cce ss, pool tables and an «form al place to
hang out. W eekly support m eetings include Trans
Youth Group and the creative group Personal Deity
Proxy (4-8 pm Monday and Wednesday. 4 pm-
mtdnrght Friday and Saturday 2 1 0 0 S E Belmont St.
503-872-9664 T T Y 5 0 3 -2 3 l-9 2 8 6 w w w sm y rc.o rg .)
(7 /0 5)
Eastern Oregon: Youth
Eastern Oregon Center for Independent
Living offers support and advocacy to gay, lesbian bi.
trans and questioning youth in Eastern Oregon (1021
S W 5th A v e . Ontario 541 -8893119 or 866 248-8369
eoc4@eool.org. www eoctl org 7 (7/95)
Lesbian couple fantasize about bringing
a straight man into their bedroom
Editor’s note: Ms.
Behavior is on
vacation, so we’re
rerunning a [ropular
column from the
archives.
Waverly Heights United Church of Christ s
open and affirming with worship, children s school and
child care. (10 am summer, 11 am school year 3300 S E
Woodward S t 503-238-1337 pastor@waver1yucc org
www waverlyucc.org.) (7/05)
and maintains a library of materials. Learn
how the Divine Spirit works throughout
your own life in today's world. (10 am
Sunday 7904 S E Milwaukie Ave
503-233-1595 www eckankar org. 7(7/05)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an
open and affirming liberal religious communi
ty offering a wide range of programs to nur
ture spiritual growth, community and social
justice. Sunday service 9 and 11 am
(1011 SW 12th Ave. 503-228-6389
www firstumtananportland org ) (7/05)
Three is a magic number
Abundant Life Center assists the
community in spiritual growth (10 am
Sunday. I l l W 39th S t., Vancouver The
Rev Kathleen Verigin 360-573-2626
www abundant-life-center, org.7(7/05)
Longview United Methodist Church is welcom
ing and reconciling. (10 am Sunday 2851 30th A v e .
Longview 360-425-4927.) (7/05)
Metropolitan Church of the Gentle Shepherd
in Vancouver welcom es you. (1 0 3 0 am and 6 30 pm
Sunday worship Bible study follows morning worship
2200 Broadway St. The R e v Hamet Barshofsky
36 0 -6 9 5 -1 4 8 0 )0 /0 5 )
Michael Servitus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a home
for the liberal religious spirit (9 30 and 11:15 am Sunday
4505 E 18th St.. Vancouver 360-695-1891 7(7/05)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church United Church of
Chnst is an open and affirming congregation offenng wor
ship and church school Child care provided and wheelchair
accessible (9 3 0 am Sunday learning hour. 1030 am wor
ship 700 Manor S t NE, Salem 503-363-3660 )0 /0 5 )
Metropolitan Community Church Two Rivers
is a Chnstian church with pnmary outreach in the sexual
m inorities community (6 30 pm Sunday 1166 Oak S t.,
Eugene 7 (7/05)
Washington: Youth
Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy
to gey, lesbian, bt. trans and questioning youth in
Vancouver M eets every Tuesday in the basem ent of
Youth House. (6-8 pm. 1112 Cokimbm S t John
360-695-1325.7(7/05 )
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender and
Questioning Youth Group for ages 13 to 18 offers
support, information and fun tn Eugene, Free, confiden
tial adult-facilitated. (Drop in 4-6 pm Friday Amazon
Community Center. 2700 Hityard S t 541 -684-3466.)
(7/05)
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth
Group for ages 25 and younger m eets every Monday
m Eugene (5 pm. Koinoma Center. 1414 Kincaid St.
541-346-1134 7(7/05 )
D ear M s . B ehavior :
I recently told my
girlfriend, Sandra,
my fantasy about
inviting a man to
watch us in bed. She
joined in the fantasy,
and we described it
to each other as we
made love. Our imaginary man just
observed, hut we were both turned
on by the idea, and our sex was very
exciting.
The problem is that Sandra now
seems preoccupied with rhis idea and
wants to make it a reality! The other
night she came home and said:
“Guess what? I think 1 found a man
to watch us.”
I said, “Excuse me, hut I thought
that was just a fantasy.” Sandra has
been sulking ever since. Ms. Behavior,
1 feel tom. 1 like to believe I’m adven
turous; it I could get beyond my
apprehension, it would he really fun.
But straight men make me ner
vous. We’d like one to watch hut not
participate. 1 want to make my girl
friend happy, hut the idea of inviting
a third person— especially this guy,
who lives only two blocks away— into
our hedrcxjm makes me anxious. Do
we need other lesbians there to make
sure it doesn’t get out of hand?
— Laura
D ear L aura :
You complain that your girlfriend
is taking the fantasy too seriously, hut
Ms. Behavior can’t help hut notice
that your question ultimately is not
“Should we do this?” hut rather
“When we do this, how do we keep
the straight dude— or his penis— from
getting ‘out of hand’ ?”
Since you’re lesbians, he sure to
priKess it a lot first. Talk about what
will make you feel safe and how you’ll
handle it if one of you feels un
comfortable or self-conscious (or
throws up at the sight of a wiener).
Don't involve the guy who lives
nearby. Find someone (maybe a
friend of a friend?) who you’ll never
see again. There’s no shortage of
straight men who’d happily trade
their Snap-On T x d s or their moth
ers for the chance to watch lesbians
have sex.
Your idea about having a couple
of dykes there as bouncers, in case
the man gets out o f control, is a
good one. Then maybe you can hire
a dog to hark in case the dykes are
overcome by passion and try to
insert themselves into your act. And
if you can arrange it for a conve
nient time, say, Wednesday evening
between 10 and midnight, perhaps
Ms. Behavior can come along to
keep her eye on the dog.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
On a recent trip
to Provincetown, 1
ran (literally) into a
delicate sexual eti
quette problem.
While walking my
dog off-leash on the
beach in the evening
in a cruisy area
known as the “dick
dock”— I’m a lesbian
and wasn’t in search
of dick— my dog,
Charlotte, ran off and
starting licking and
jumping on two men engaged in a
sexual act.
1 stixxl about 10 yards away,
unsure what to do. I felt tcx> embar
rassed to call the dog, so I just stixxl
in the shadows and waited until they
were done. This tcxik about 15 min
utes, which 1 thought was a long time,
hut 1 guess a leaping dog is a hit of a
distraction.
I’m a sex-positive lesbian with no
judgment about public sex, hut I also
don’t feel that it deserves any particu
lar reverence on my part. Silently
waiting until those men were finished
made me feel disempowered, so 1
don’t want to do that again.
I don’t intend to stop walking my
dog at the beautiful m<x)nlit beach—
and I don’t want to put her on a leash
because she rarely gets to run free— so
I need to know what to do in the
future. How polite should I he when
she encounters or interrupts men hav
ing sex? Should I call my dog loudly
and hope she feels like obeying? Or
should I walk unabashedly up to the
fellating men, say “Excuse me” and
retrieve her?
—
K.
D ear K.:
The beach is a public place, and
you don’t seem like a dyke who’d go
blind at the sight of a penis, so feel
free to walk right up to your leaping
dog and the men who happen to he
the object of her attention.
Conversation probably isn’t neces
sary, and you seem polite enough to
not demand that others speak to you
with their mouths full.
You might also consider a sim
ple, less interactive approach: Just
stay where you are and yell,
“Charlotte, com e!”
Of course, yelling a demand to
come while people are having sex
can go either way; it could either
help bring the act to completion or
it could wilt their...attention. Either
way, you’d probably get your dog
hack quickly. J H
© Meryl Cohn 2004
MERYL Q thn is the author of I\> What
1 Say: Ms. Behaviors Guide to Gay
and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton
Mifflin). Signed copies are available
drrecdy from the author. Send questions or
correspondence to mshehavurr@aol .com.