33
ADVICE
.............. ▼...............
Euchanst at Bndgeport United Church of Christ. A wel
SPIRITUALITY
coming congregation, Catholic m tradition and Ecumenical
in membership (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave
Metro: Spirituality
Ainsworth United Church of Christ is a multi
racial, multicultural, open and affirming church. Sunday
worship is at 10 am; church school for children runs
concurrently (2941 NE Ainsworth St 503 2848767.
aucc@teleport com.) (7/04)
Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for
Chnstian meditation and prayer. (7 30 pm Thursday
Sunday 3915 SE Steele St 503-777-3901) (7/04)
Longview United Methodist Church is welcom
ing and reconciling (10 am Sunday. 2851 30th Ave
believes in giving to the community, caring for one
360-425-4927.) (7/04)
Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist
Church is a "house church" that brings gay and
straight together Daily morning prayer and Sunday
evening worship. (503-281-3697.
www.tearsoup.com/metanoia.) (7/04)
Bridgeport United Church of Christ s a commu
nity of progressive, political people explonng and cele
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our children
are valued members. (1030 am Sunday 621 NE 76th
Ave. 503-258-0992 www bndgeportucc org.) (7/04)
City Church Portland’s "oldest gay-affirming
Christian church." offers a spirit-driven church for
today s diverse generations. (10 am Sunday commu
nion and worship service. 630 pm Sunday worship
service 3830 SE62ndAve 503-775 5024X7/04)
Congregation P'nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
egalitarian. Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland.
Meets several times a month at Portland State University
Campus Ministries. (PO Box 42187, Portland. OP
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
503-232-8064 www nichiren-shu org/portland) (7/04)
Peace Church of the Brethren is a welcoming
congregation. (11 am Sunday 12727 SE Market St
503 254-6380) (7/04)
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a center
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a
inclusive spiritual philosophy similar to 12-step, Unity and
Religious Science. Impromptu wedding ceremonies avail
eastrose@teleport.com. wwweastrose.org.) (7/04)
Eckankar—Religion of the Light and Sound of
God holds worship services and maintains a library of
materials to help you leam about the Divine Spirit in
today s world. (10 am Sunday 7904 SE Milwaukie Ave.
503-233-1595. www.eckankar org.) (7 /04)
able (503-777-0727. wwwportlandcenterorg.)(7 /04)
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with
potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new
encourages all people in finding a place of belonging in
the family of God Sunday worship at 10:15 am; Adult
Waverly Heights United Church of Christ is
open and affirming with worship, children's school and
child care. (10 am Sunday 3300 SE Woodward St
503-238-1337. www.waverlyucc org.)(7/04)
is an open and liberal religious community offenng inter-
and adults We welcome gay, lesbian, bi and trans
members and nurture spintual growth living by Umtanan
Universalist pnnciples (4 pm Sunday 3915 SE Steele
St. 503-777-3704 www wyeastpnwduua.org) (7/04)
Zion United Church of Christ an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi. trans
and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a
Christ-centered, warm, canng. multiage/race/cultural
faith community. (11 am Sunday. 2025 NE 23rd Ave,
Gresham 503-665-8741) (7/04)
Central Oregon: Spirituality
United Church of Christ Congregational s an
moon Open to all men seeking alternative spintual
open and affirming congregation in The Dalles. (920 am
adult Sunday school, 10:30 am Sunday worship
growth and community Coffee hours start 9:30 am
Saturdays at 3 Friends Coffeehouse, 201 SE 12th Ave
www. formmistry. com/usorucofcucocc.) (7/04)
lit EFifth St 541 296-2909 ucccongl@netcnctnet.
(503-235-0826 otter@pcez.com) (7/04)
Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support organi
Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming
community of Christians in Troutdale that values and
Knepper 503-289 7843) (7/04)
generational services and religious education for youth
Wednesday meditation 2025 SE Yamhill St
zation for queer people, their families and friends (PO Box
7320. Laguna Niguel. CA 92607-7320 866-732-5677.
office@sdakmship.org. www.sdakmship.org.) (7/04)
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life Center is A New Thought
Community for spiritual awakening and transforming
SisterSpirit offers women's spirituality celebrations,
lives through love. A safe place where children learn to
embody spiritual principles. (10 am Sunday 10006 NE
Wednesday Prayers 6-6 30 pm (27400 SE Stark St.
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes. Schedule of events available All women are
503-661 -4520.) (7/04)
welcome. (Suite 102, 3430 SE Belmont St Mailing
360-573-2626X7104)
Education at 9 am; children and youth at 10 30 am
address: PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207.
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offering a wide range of
503-736-3297. sistersp@teleport.cogi ) (7104)
programs to nurture spintual growth, community and social
justice. Sunday service 9 and 11 am (1011 SW 12th Ave.
Southminster Presbyterian Church is an active
503228-6389 wwwfirstunitananportlandorg.) (7/04)
Congregations. Sunday school and nursery care
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St Philip
Neri Ca‘holic Church celebrates an affirming Mass fol
lowed by a social. (730 pm Fnday Paulist Center.
Classes, community service activities and events for all
ages and interests. (9-9 30 am Sunday chapel service.
10 am Sunday community worship service
12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton. 503-644-2073.
2408 SE 16th Ave 503-2314955X7/04)
staff@southmm com www southmm com.) (7/04)
Gay Men's Labyrinth Project meets quarterly for
a walking meditation and wisdom circle on the labyrinth
(www gaylabyhnth.com.) (7/04)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship (9.30 am
Sunday 806 NE Alberta St 503281-4429.) (7/04)
Integrity is a group of sexual minonty Episcopalians
and friends. Various locations throughout Oregon.
St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in
Christ congregation, welcomes all people for traditional,
(Bruce 503-286-9111. brucepdxor@attbi com
liturgical worship where we experience God's reconcil
www.integntyusa.org.) (7/04)
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spintual direc
tors from vanous world religious traditions, who are
available for guidance, classes and retreats. (Second
Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave. 503233-2026. ext. 3.
www interfaithspiritualcenter com.) (7/04)
member of the Community of Welcoming
•
Keshet Portland is a potluck group for Jewish mem
bers of the sexual minorities community and their part
ners. spouses and supporters Its purpose is to help
build bridges with the larger Jewish community
Monthly social, religious and cultural events. (David or
ing love that sets all people free (9 and 11 am Sunday
1315 SW Park Ave 503-227-2439
Ninth Ave., Vancouver The Rev Kathleen Vengin
East Vancouver United Methodist Church is
reconciling and welcoming (10 am Sunday
5701 MacArthur Blvd 360-693-4761.) (7/04)
First Congregational Church United Church of
Christ, holds services in an open and affirming congre
gation. (10 am Sunday worship. 11:15 am adult educa
tion 1220 NE 68th St.. Vancouver 360-693-1476
vanucc@aol com.) (7/04)
Metropolitan Community Church of the
Gentle Shepherd in Vancouver welcomes you.
(10:30 am and 630 pm Sunday worship. 9 am Sunday
Bible study. 2200 Broadway The Rev. Harriet
Barshofsky 360-695-1480) (7/04)
Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a home
for the liberal religious spint (9:30 and 1115 am Sunday
4505 E 18th St . Vancouver 360695-1891X7/04)
www stiameslutheranportland.org.) (7/04)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been welcom
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church United Church of
10 am 1432 SW 13th Ave. 503223-6424X7/04)
Chnst is an open and affirming congregation offenng wor
affirming congregation, invites all to worship services
and ongoing programs in spiritual development, com
ship and church school. Child care provided and wheelchair
accessible. (9:30 am Sunday learning hour, 10:30 am wor
ship. 700 Manon St NE. Salem 503-363-3660X7/04)
Metropolitan Community Church Two Rivers
Laney 503-226-7079. ext 143(7/04)
munity outreach, music and arts education. (8 am
Sunday Rite I chapel service 10 am Sunday Rite II
is a Chnstian church with pnmary outreach in the sexual
Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive,
cathedral service. 147 NW 19th Ave 503-222-9811
minorities community (6:30pm Sunday 1166 Oak St..
small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate
www tnnity-episcopal.org.) (7/04)
Eugene) (7/04)
Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center
(SMYRC) a program of Cascadia Behavioral
Washington: Youth
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Flavors a social support group for sexual minonty
youth of color 21 and younger, meets on weekends for
food and socializing Regular events and activities
Flavors is a project of Love Makes a Family 's MultiQueer
program and is supported by Brother to Brother. (Kristy
503-228-3892 muttiqueer@imfgmify orgXI 104)
HealthCam. offers support and recreation to gay. lesbian,
Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy
bi and trans youth 23 and younger Offers drop-in comput
er access, pool tables and an informal place to hang out
to gay, lesbian, bi, trans and questioning youth in
Vancouver. Wash Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the base
Weekly support meetings includes Trans Youth Group and
ment of Youth House. 1112 Columbia St. in Vancouver.
the creative group Personal Deity Proxy. (48 pm Monday
and Wednesday. 4 pm-midnght Friday and Saturday
(John 360-695-1325.) (7/04)
2100 SE Belmont St. 503872-9664 TTY 503-231-9286
www.smyrc.org.) Other programs include: Clackamas
County Sexual Minority Youth Connection
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education
(COSMYC) provides opportunities for queer and ques
Network (GLSEN) fights to end anti-gay bias in K-12
schools (Suite 180. 12700 SW North Dakota St.
tioning youth ages 23 and younger to get together for
»129. Tigard OR 97223 503-525-1177.
one support, referrals and information on HIV and STD
free, fun and supportive social activities. Offers one-on-
glsen@glsenoregon.org www gisenoregon.org.) (7/04)
prevention and resources for adults who work with queer
MultiQueer a program of Love Makes a Family, provides
and questioning youth. (5039690060.
cosmycyouth@yehoo.com 1 Pride Project bnngs togeth
advocacy to sexual minonty youth. Offers resources and
support in the community and the school systems, with a
focus on support for queer and questioning youth of color
(Kristy 503-228 3892 nAique&@Mamily org.) (7/04)
Center. 2700 HUyard St 541-684-3466X7/04)
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth
541-346-1134 3(7/04)
in Eugene. (5 pm Koinonia Center. 1414 Kincaid St.
(Molly 503-260-5792 moty@pndeprofect.org) (7/04)
Out *n' About Youth meet every Thursday m
Corvafts (7 pm 1165 Monroe Ave. 541-754-3906 >
(7/04)
Eastern Oregon: Youth
and younger as well as for those HIV+ and younger
than 23 Needs volunteers of all ages (10am-6pm
Eastern Oregon Center for Independent Living
offers sipport and advocacy to gay. lesbian, bi, trans and
questioning youth to Eastern Oregon. (5418893119 or
866248-8369 eoal0eocii.org www eoctlorg.) (7/04)
Send your
ram
facilitated (Drop in 46 pm Fnday Amazon Community
referral and advocacy services ¡n Washington County.
exchange services that include those who inject hor
mones Can provide transitional housing for youth 20
www outstderi.org.) (7704)
Youth Group for ages 13 to 18 offers support, inform
ation and fun m Eugene Free, confidential, adult-
Group for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as wei as needle
Monday-Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave 503535-3800
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gay, Lesbian, Bi. Transgender and Questioning
er Washington County queer and questioning youth to
plan and attend monthly social events. Also information,
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can t
Googling may at first
seem somewhat rude, like
I recently returned to
looking in a neighbor’s
the dating scene after
window while he undress
ending a 10-year monog
amous relationship. I am
es, but really it’s not.
Practically speaking, it’s
meeting most guys over
the Internet because
more like choosing not to
cover your eyes while your
I don’t go to bars.
I had a date recently
neighbor walks naked
through your front yard.
that reminded me how
As for whether you
things have changed since
should Gcxigle prospective
the last time 1 was single.
by Meryl Cohn
He mentioned that he
dates before meeting them,
of course you should! But
had looked me up on the
be forewarned that it’s as addictive as
Internet and found an editorial I had
broadcast over a local radio station. At
snack food and masturbation.
first I was glad he mentioned it, because
D ear M s . B ehavior :
the material would make for good din
ner conversation. As it turned out, he
I’m dating a nice man whose com
wasn’t interested in discussing this at all.
pany I enjoy. I’m not in love with
Then I got to thinking, why the
Charlie, which he says is OK with
heck would he Gcxigle me? I can
him, but 1 worry that his feelings
understand the need to screen dates
might be stronger than mine.
through the kxral “most wanted” list,
We see each other two or three
but more than that seems a little tacky.
times a week. We go to the movies or
What else do you need to know
the opera, have dinner, have sex and
about a guy before meeting him? His
spend the night together. Anytime
credit rating? His employment history?
things seem too heavy or romantic,
His most recent address? You’re cer
1 remind him that I’m not in love and
tainly not going to use the Internet to
not ready for anything serious. I’m
see if I like long walks in the moon
still open to dating other people.
light and cuddling during rainstorms.
My friends tell me that no matter
What do you think about this?
what 1 say, my actions are misleading
Should I be running these guys through
and are likely to hurt Charlie. 1 don’t
a Google search before 1
think it’s my job to pro
meet them?
tect him from hurt as
—Unhappily
long as I tell the truth
Googled
about my feelings.
What do you think?
D ear U nhappily
—V.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
People other
than potential
dates may also
G
:
Google you
Ms. Behavior doesn’t
and, in fact,
mean to frighten you,
but people other than
are probably
potential dates may also
Google you and, in fact,
Googling the
are probably Googling
hell out of you
the hell out of you right
now.
right now
Who else might do
oogled
ing all people since 1863 (12:10pm Wednesday and
7:45 and 10 am Sunday. Sunday school and child care at
Trinity Episcopal Cathedral a welcoming and
How much do you want to know?
Sunday 4775 N Lombard St The Rev. Jeannie
the 11 am service. (2400 NE Broadway 503-281 8868
mfo@mccportland com. www. mccportland com.) (7/04)
for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an all
children's religious education (10:30 am Sunday
1133 NE 181st Ave.. Gresham 503-665-2628
another and making a difference one person at a time.
Come celebrate God's diversity with us1 (10 am
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation
Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland offers
several weekly gathenngs Everyone welcome1 (10 am
Sunday. 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday 7 30 pm
Getting Googled
University Park United Methodist Church
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held dunng
97242-0187 503-248-4500 wwwpnaiorpdx.org.) (7/04)
welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and
who seek the grace of God and desire to work for
.peace and justice Child care available (10 30 am
503-699-0473 www komoniacommunity org >17/04)
503-281 -0722.) (7/04)
brating the Christian faith. We are sexual minonty and
Trinity United Methodist Church is for all people
Rainbow Youth is a safe, confidential support
group for young gay men. lesbians, bisexuals, trans
gender, questioning and friends (6-8 pm
Wednesday Mrcha Building. 690 State St.. Salem
www.salemratnbowyouth.org.) (1/04)
outreach listings to:
just out (attn: Calendar) • PO Box 14400 • Portland. OR 97293-0400
Fax submissions to 503-236-1257 or e-mail justout@justout.com
t be accepted over the phone • Please type your announcements and include full contact information
it? Business acquaintances, friends
from schexil, anyone you happen to
meet at a party and old boyfriends
who need to know whether you’re as
successful as they are. In fact, Ms.
Behavior plans to Gixigle you as s<x>n
as she finishes her column.
Perhaps your 10 recent years of
monogamy t<x>k you and your mate to
a sweet and gentle place, far removed
from wireless networks, search engines
and the curious minds that want to
undress you before a first date. It’s a
quaint image, you and your boyfriend
cuddling on the couch, ever spared
from the rapid evolution of threaten
ing technology, with no worries about
what information might come up—or,
worse, not come up—on a prospective
date’s 20-inch monitor.
Purists and Luddites may still want to
cultivate and savor a first-date impres
sion that hasn’t been created or minified
by the media. But they’re roughly in the
same proportion of the population as
those who chixise not to know the gen
der of their babies in advance, even
though the technology is available.
D ear V.:
The “I’m not in love
with you” mantra only
works if you can deliver
it sincerely and consis
tently and if the other
person is able to hear it.
Only you know if you’re
being emotionally hon
est with your thrice-weekly date.
If your friends are concerned, it may
be because they hear you saying the
words, “I’m not in love with you,” while
your behavior spells out L-O-V-E, as
clearly as if you were tapping it out on
Charlie’s back in Morse cixie.
Why would you (perhaps un
consciously) give mixed messages like
that? Maybe you’re lonely. Maybe the
sex is good and readily available. And
perhaps you want to have your cake
and eat it, too (while keeping the
option to spit it out).
If you continue to date Charlie,
ask yourself what you’d be doing dif
ferently if you were m love with him.
If you can’t think of anything, you’re
probably misleading him. JH
© Meryl Cohn 2004
MERYL C ohn is the author of Do What
I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay
and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton
Mifflm). Signed copies are available
directly from the author. Send questions or
I correspondence to msbehauor@aol.com.