Just out., June 18, 2004, Page 17, Image 17

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TnTiTíTiw^Tineivs
hen Portland gay entrepre­
neur Steve Jones left his 14-
year, high-salaried executive
position at Norm Thomson
earlier this year, he thought
he had plenty of time to ponder his future. With
the political season in full force, he just couldn’t
keep his mind off of the Bush administration
and his extreme distaste for its policies and
Dubya’s behavior.
During a layover at Dulles airport in Wash­
ington, D.C., he was struck by a vision of the
president’s face on toilet paper. A couple of gig­
gles and a few seconds later, “Wipe Your Tush
with Bush” popped into his head, and the latest
political gag gift was horn. Out came the wire­
less laptop, and within 10 minutes Jones had a
Web site and a new business.
With his wit, passion and marketing back­
ground Jones set out to develop a business
rruxJel that would help the environment, con­
tribute to U .S. regime change, express his
thoughts about the White House on paper and
encourage political dialogue through humor.
Jones immediately began researching environ­
mentally friendly printers that were willing to
print Bush’s face on toilet paper. Then he hired a
friend to design the image. “He came up with some
wonderful illustrations,” Jones said of his creative
director, “that capture the tme essence of Junior—
the cockiness, the arrogance, the ‘screw you, 1 can
do whatever I want’ expression on his face.”
Within weeks, the first prototypes rolled of
the presses. Wipe Your Tush with Bush toilet
paper is made of recycled content and uses soy-
based ink. It features an effigy of Bush in Craw­
ford Ranchwear with a tree-shaped tcxithpick
hanging from “that smirk.”
The label warns consumers, “Proceeds from
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------- --_ june 18.2004 * JlISt
ou t
W iped O ut
Anti-Bush toilet paper nixed by potent office
by M ichael E B arrett
the sale of the product will contribute to regime
change and restoring the planet!” And it guar­
antees “complete satisfaction with your presi­
dential administration. It at any time you are
unsatisfied with your president, simply vote him
out of office in November.”
Jones hit the pavement in Portland, San
Francisco, Chicago and other U.S. cities to stcx:k
the shelves of gift shops and other businesses
with his new pnxluct. A toilet paper launch
party wits held in New York, and stores were
reordering rolls as often as twice a week. Despite
the hectic travel schedule, Jones was having fun,
and his business was off to a strong start.
With his Web site up and ninning and toilet
paper flying off the shelves across the country,
he still wanted his toilet paper rolls to hear the
words “patent pending." That wish would not be
granted, however.
The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office failed
to see the humor in the product when Jones’
application crossed the desk of examining attor­
ney Karen K. Bush. She refused registration of
Wipe Your Tush with Bush because “the pro­
posed mark consists of or comprises matter
which may disparage or bring into contempt or
disrepute the president of the United States,
George W. Bush.” She further stated, “A reason­
able person of ordinary sensibilities would con­
sider this reference offensive or objectionable.”
According to Jones, this interpretation of
U.S. code affords President Bush
protection from the said dispar­
agement that regular citizens do
not enjoy. The patent office’s
argument continued, “Because
of the intense media coverage
focusing on George Bush...the
use of the tenn BUSH in the
proposed mark...clearly would
he construed by the public as a
Wipe Your Tush with Bush founder Steve Jones (left, with
reference to George W. Bush.”
canine
C EO Atticus) was refused a patent for his toilet paper
“I was discouraged at first,”
Jones said about the rejection. because it “ comprises matter which may disparage or bring
“Starting a business and doing into contempt or disrepute the president of the United States”
everything on your own involves
a lot of work and risk. To face rejection by my fed­
A percentage of profits will go to progressive
eral government was certainly troubling...[and] I organizations and environmental groups. So far,
was confronted with the realization that I am not Jones has been able to make contributions to
a ‘reasonable person of ordinary sensibilities,’
MoveOn.org, John Kerry for President, the Ore­
because I find the tenn ‘Wipe Your Tush with gon F(xxf Bank and the American Foundation for
Bush’ personally inspiring, not disparaging. It gives
AIDS Research. He is quick to remind con­
me hope. In fact, it’s why I get up in the morning.” sumers, “The more I sell, the more I can donate—
Maintaining his sense of humor, Jones laughs
at least 10 percent of pre-tax profits.” JH1
off the rejection. “ It’s the humor that draws the
customer in. The thought of wiping your tush
W ipe Y our T ush with B ush can be finmd in
with Bush— it makes people laugh.”
Portland stores such as Greg's on Hawthorne and
Though humor is his weapon, political change
Balloons on Broadway. The product is also available
is his motivation. “It sounds cliché and trite,” he for purchase at uruw.wipeyourtushivithbush.com.
says, “hut I want to wake up every day motivated
and inspired to have an impact on what’s going on
M ichael E B arrett is a Portland free-lance
in my country and make a significant contribution.” writer and food columnist.
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