apri! 16.2004 - just out 35
ADVICE
SPIRITUALITY
Metro: Spirituality
Ainsworth United Church of Christ is a m ulti
racial, multicultural, open and affirm ing church Sunday
worship is at 10 am; church school fo r children runs
concurrently. (2941 NE Ainsworth St 503 284-8767
aucc@teleport com.) (7/04)
Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for
Christian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm Thursday
503281 0722 7(7/04)
Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a commu
nity of progressive, political people explonng and cele
brating the Chnstian faith We are sexual minonty and
straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our children
are valued members (10:30 am Sunday 621 NE 76th
Ave. 503-258-0992 www bndgeportucc o rg ) (7/04)
City Church Portland s "oldest gay-affirming
Chnstian church, " offers a spirit-driven church for
today's diverse generations. (10 am Sunday commu
nion and worship service. 6 30 pm Sunday worship
service 3830 SE 62nd Ave 503-775-50247 (7/04)
Congregation P'nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
egalitarian. Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland
Meets several times a month at Portland State University
Campus Mmistnes. (PO Box 42187. Portland. OR
97242-0187 503-248 4500 www pnaiorpdx o rg ) (7/04)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a
welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and
children's religious education. (10 30 am Sunday
1133 NE 181st Ave . Gresham 503-665-2628
eastrose&teteport com www eastrose o rg ) (7/04)
Faith United Methodist Church s a welcoming com
munity of Christians in Troutdale that values and encour
ages all people in finding a place of belonging in the family
of God. Sunday worship at 10; 15 am. Adult Education at
9 am; children and youth at 10 30 am. Wednesday Prayers
6-6:30 pm (27400 SE Stark St. 503-661-4520.H7/04)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offenng a wide range of
programs to nurture spmtual growth, community and social
justice. Sunday service 9 and 11 am. (1011 SW 12th Ave.
503-228-6389 wwwfirstumtananportlandorg.) (7/04)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St Philip
Neri Catholic Church celebrates an affirm ing Mass fo l
lowed by a social (7 3 0 pm Fnday Paulist Center.
2408S E 16thAve 503-231 4 9 5 5 ) (7/04)
Gay Men's Labyrinth Project meets quarterly for
a walking meditation and wisdom circle on the labyrinth.
(www.gaylabynnth.com.) (7/04)
Integrity is a group of sexual minonty Episcopalians
and fnends. Vanous locations throughout Oregon
(Bruce 503-286-9111 bnjcepdxonSattbi com.
www.integntyusa.org.) (7/04)
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spintual direc
tors from various world religious traditions, who are
available for guidance, classes and retreats. (Second
Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave 503-233 2026. ext 3.
www interfaithspintualcenter. com.7 (7/04)
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held during
the 11 am service (2400 NE Broadway 503 281-8868
mfo@mccportland com. www mccportland com 7(7/04)
Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland >ffers
several weekly gatherings Everyone welcome1 (10 am
Sunday. 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday 7 30 pm
Wednesday meditation 2025 SE Yamhill St
503-232-8064 www mchiren-shu.org/portland 7 (7/04)
Peace Church of the Brethren s a welcoming
congregation. (11 am Sunday 12727 SE Market St
503 254-6380.7(7/04)
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a centei
for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an all-
mclusive spintual philosophy similar to 12-step, Unity and
Religious Science Impromptu wedding ceremonies avail
able (503-777-0727 wwwportlandcenterorg7(7/04)
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with
potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new
Want to get hitched?
ultnomah County issues marriage licenses
to all couples 8 am-4 45 pm weekdays in
the Marriage License Unit of the M ultno
mah Building. 501 SE Hawthorne Blvd., Port
land. The application fee is $60 cash or certified
check.
Both parties must sign any marriage
license, and you do not have to be an Oregon
resident to obtain a license.
Visit www.basicrights.org for suggested
officiants (as well as up-to-the-minute info on
the legality of your marriage in Oregon)
Officiants may also be available at one o f the
churches in the Just Out Spirituality section
A list o f Multnomah County judges is
available at the marriage license unit or at
www.co. multnomah .or. us/dbcs/assess_tax/jud
ges.pdf The fee fo r an in-chamber appointment
is $25
M
moon Open to all men seeking alternative spintual
growth and community. Coffee hours start 9:30 am
Saturdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse, 201 SE 12th Ave.
(503-235-0826 otter@pcez.com) (7/04)
Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support organi
zation for queer people, their families and fnends. (PO Box
7320. Laguna Niguel. CA 92607 7320 866732-5677.
office@sdakmship.org. www.sdakinship.org.) (7/04)
SisterSpirit offers women's spirituality celebrations,
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes Schedule of events available All women are
welcome (Suite 102. 3430 SE Belmont St Mailing
address: PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207.
503-736 3297 sistersp@teleport.com.)(7/04)
Southminster Presbyterian Church is an active
Keshet Portland is a potluck group fo r Jewish mem
bers o f the sexual m inorities community and their part
ners, spouses and supporters. Its purpose is to help
build bndges with the larger Jewish community
M onthly social, religious and cultural events (David or
Laney 503-226-7079. ext 14)01/04)
Koinonia Catholic Community r. a progressive,
small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate
Euchanst at Bridgeport United Church of Christ A wel
coming congregation, Catholic in tradition and Ecumenical
in membership. (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave
503-699-0473 w wwkomoniacommumty.org)(7/04)
Longview United Methodist Church is welcom
ing and reconciling (10 am Sunday 2851 30th Ave
360-425-4927.) U /0 4 )
member o f the Community of Welcoming
Congregations. Sunday school and nursery care.
Classes, community service activities and events for all
ages and interests. (9-9 30 am Sunday chapel service.
10 am Sunday community worship service 12250 SW
Denney Road, Beaverton 503-644 2073.
staff@southmm com www southmm com.) (7/04)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship (9 30 am
Sunday 806 NE Alberta St 503-2814429.) (7/04)
St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in
Chnst congregation, welcomes all people for traditional,
liturgical worship where we experience God's reconcil
ing love that sets all people free. (9 and 11 am Sunday
1315 SW Park Ave 503-227-2439
www stiameslutheranportland o rg ) (7/04)
Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist
Church is a "house church" that bnngs gay and
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been welcom
straight together Daily morning prayer and Sunday
evening worship (503-281-3697
www.tearsoupcom/metanoia) (7/04)
ing aH people since 1863 (12 10 pm Wednesday and
745 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child care at
10 am 1432 SW 13th Ave. 503 2236424 ) (7/04)
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Flavors, a social support group for sexual m inority
youth o f color 21 and younger, meets on weekends for
food and socializing. Regular events and activities
Flavors is a project o f Love Makes a Family 's
M ultiQueer program and is supported by Brother to
Brother (Knsty 503 228 3892
multiqueer&lmfamiy org.) (7/04)
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education
Network (GLSEN) fights to end anti-gay bias m K-12
schools. (Suite 180. 12700 SW North Dakota St
«129. Tigard. OR 97223 503-525-1177.
glsenOgtsenoregon org www glsenoregon.org.) (7/04)
MultiQueer a program o f Love Makes a Family, pro
vides advocacy to sexual mwortty youth. O ffers re
sources « id support in the communrty and the school
systems, with a focus on support fo r queer and ques
toning youth of color (Knsty 503-228-3892
multqueer@tmfamiiy.org.) (7/04)
University Park United Methodist Church
believes in giving to the community, canng for one
another and making a difference one person at a time.
Come celebrate God's diversity with us1 CIO am
Sunday 4775 N Lombard St. The Rev Jeanme
Knepper 503-289-7843) (7/04)
Waverly Heights United Church of Christ is
open and affirm ing with worship, children's school and
child care. (10 am Sunday 3300 SE Woodward St.
503-238-1337 wwwwaverlyuccorg) (7/04)
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation
is an open and liberal religious community offenng inter-
generational services and religious education for youth
and adults We welcome gay. lesbian, bi and trans
members and nurture spintual growth living by Unitarian
Universalist principles. (4 pm Sunday 3915 SE Steele
St. 503-777-3704 www wyeast.pnwd.uua org 7 (7/04)
Zion United Church of Christ an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi, trans
and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a
Chnst-centered. warm, canng, m ultiage/race/cultural
faith community ( I I am Sunday 2025 NE 23rd Ave ,
Gresham 503665-87417(7/04)
Central Oregon: Spirituality
United Church of Christ Congregational , an
open and affirming congregation in The Dalles (9 2 0 am
adult Sunday school, 10:30 am Sunday worship
111 EFifth St 541-296-2909 ucccongl@netcnct net
www forministrycom/usomcofcucocc.) (7/04)
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life Center is A New Thought Com
mumty for spintual awakening and transforming lives
through love. A safe place where children learn to
embody spiritual principles (10 am Sunday 10006 NE
Ninth A v e . Vancouver The Rev Kathleen Vengm
360-573 2626 ) (7/04)
East Vancouver United Methodist Church is
reconciling and welcoming (10 am Sunday
5701 MacArthur Blvd 360-693 4 761.7(7/04)
First Congregational Church United Church of
Christ, holds services in an open and affirm ing congre
gation. (10 am Sunday worship. 11:15 am adult educa
tion 1220 NE 68th St.. Vancouver 360 693-1476
vanucc@aot.com.) (7/04)
Metropolitan Community Church of the
Gentle Shepherd in Vancouver welcomes you
(10 30 am and 6 3 0 pm Sunday worship. 9 am Sunday
Bible study. 2200 Broadway The Rev Hamel
Barshofsky 360-695-1480) (7/04)
Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a
home for the liberal religious spirit (9:30 and I I 15 am
Sunday 4505 E 18th S t , Vancouver 360-695-1891.)
(7/04)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church United Church of
Christ is an open and affirming congregation offenng
worship and church school Child care provided and
wheelchair accessible (9 3 0 am Sunday learning hour,
10 30 am worship 700 Marion St NE. Salem
503-363-3660) (7/04)
Metropolitan Community Church Two Rivers
is a Chnstian church with pnmary outreach in the sexual
mmonties community (6 3 0 pm Sunday 1166 Oak St .
Eugene.7 (7/04)
Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center
(SMYRC) a program of Cascade Behavioral
Washington: Youth
HeelthCare. offers support and recreation to gay. lesbian,
tx » id trans youth 23 » id young«. Offers drop-in comput
er access, pool tables and an informal place to hang out
Weekly support meetings Includes Trans Youth Group » id
the creative group Personal Deity Proxy. (4-8 pm Monday
and Wednesday. 4 pm-midnight Friday and Saturday.
2100 SE Belmont S t 503-872-9664 TTY 503-231-9286
www smyrc.org. 7 O d e r programs include Clackamas
Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy
County Sexual Minority Youth Connection
(COSMYO provides opportunities for que« and ques
tioning youth ages 23 and young« to get together for
free, fun and supportive social activities. Offers one-on-
one support, referrals and mformatxxi on HIV and STD
prevention and resources for adults who work with que«
and questioning youth. (503-969-0060
cosmycyouth@yahoo.com 7 Pride Project bungs togeth
er Washington County que« and questioning youth to
plan and attend monthly social events Also information,
referrai and advocacy services in Washington County
(Molly 503-260-5792 moSy@pndeproject org.) (7/04)
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can't
qualify for the Oregon Health Pten as we8 as needle
exchange sendees that include those who n je ct hor
mones. Can provide transitional housing fo r youth 20
and younger as w e l as for those HIV+ and younger
than 23 Needs volunteers of all ages (10 atn-6 pm
Monday-Fnday. 1132 SW 13th Ave 503-535 3800
wwwoutsideln.org.) (7/0 4 )
Trinity Episcopal Cathedral i welcoming and
affirm ing congregation, invites all to worship services
and ongoing programs in spintual development, com
munity outreach, music and arts education (8 am
Sunday Rite I chapel service 10 am Sunday Rite II
cathedral service 147 NW 19th Ave 503-478-1218
www tnnity-episcopal.org7 (7/04)
Eastern Oregon: Youth
Eastern Oregon Center for Independent
Living offers support and advocacy to gay. lesbian, bi.
trans and questioning youth in Eastern Oregon
(541-889-3119 o r 866248-8369. eocit@eoci org.
w w w eoai org. 7 (7/0 4 )
to gay, lesbian, bi, trans and questioning youth in
Vancouver, Wash Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the base
ment o f Youth House, 1112 Columbia St. in Vancouver.
(John 360-695-1325 ) 0 /0 4 )
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgander and
Questioning Youth Group forages 13 to 18 offers
support, information and fun in Eugene Free, confiden
tial, adult facilitated (Drop m 4-6 pm Fnday Amazon
Community Center. 2700 Htfyard St 541 684 3466 )
(7/04)
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth
Group for ages 25 and young« meets every Monday
m Eugene. <5 pm. Komonia Center. 1414 Kincaid St
541 346 1134 7 (7/04)
Out V About Youth meet every Thursday m
Corvafts (7p m 1165 Monroe Ave 541-754-3906.7
(7/04)
Rainbow Youth is a safe confidential support group
fo r young gay men. lesbians, bisexuals, transgend«.
questioning and friends (6-8 pm Wednesday
Micha BtßkDnq 690 State S t. Säern
www satemrambowyouth org 7 (7/04)
Without the one
Please love me. Please, please,
please, please, please.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
After running into an
incredibly hot “straight”
friend from college at a
gay bar, we began to
date. I’d had a crush on
rhis hoy for three years. 1
always knew this guy was
nice and oh-so-hot, hut
he totally surprised me
with his funny, kind,
sweet, thoughtful, open,
mature, dedicated, sexy
self. (Yes, he’s Mr.
Perfect.)
About three weeks ago, four
months after we started dating, he
ended our relationship, saying we
were at different places in our lives,
etc. He is still my best guy friend, and
we continue to spend time together,
talk every day and joke about the
same things we used to.
We tell each other we miss each
other, and he still apologizes for end
ing our relationship hut fears if we get
hack into it, it will go the same direc
tion it did before.
Ms. Behavior, my life is empty
without this guy. Not being the
drama hoy so many guys in their
early 20s are, I’m not about to crawl
back to him crying and begging for
him to take me hack; I’m stronger
than that. However, 1 want him
hack very badly— I don’t feel like I
am ever going to
want to date again
because no one will
compare to him.
How do 1 go
about getting Eack
the hoy 1 lost, who
still has a thing for
me deep down, with
out coming off as a
desperate loser?
— Without the
One
for you. If not, maybe
hearing the specifics
will help you accept ir
and move on, rather
than hanging around
hoping that he’ll
change his mind.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
Ever since 1 was a lit
tle hoy, I’ve dreamed of
getting married. Before I
came out to myself, 1
dreamed of marrying a
woman. And years
before I thought gay marriage would
ever he possible, I dreamed about
marrying a man.
With all the talk about gay mar
riage this and gay marriage that, it has
me wondering where my Prince
Charming is.
Lately, when I go on dates, I spend
less time trying to figure out if this
guy is fun to he with and more time
trying to figure out if he’s marriage
material. With gay marriage rights in
sight, why waste my time any longer?
Before, it was OK to mess around
with relationships because, hey, it’s
not like I could get married anyway.
But now, the race is on, and I want to
cross the finish line with a gix>d-
lix)king, stable guy on my arm.
Unfortunately, no guys I’ve dated
seem to fit the hill. Should I keep dat
ing them anyway or
f(x:us my energy on
searching for Mr.
Right?
— Marriage Minded
How do I go
about getting
back the boy
I lost, who
still has a thing
for me, without
coming off
as a desperate
loser?
D ear W ithout the
O ne :
It sounds like
you didn’t know what Mr. Perfect
meant when he said that you and
he were at “different places” in your
lives. This could mean almost any
thing— from “ I’m not really queer; I
just had a dick-sucking slip, and I’m
going to date women now” to “ 1
have a job, and you don’t” to
“You’re a great guy, hut I don’t feel
that special something that makes
me want to hump you” or “You
have had breath; please stop breath
ing in my face.”
Don’t you think you need more
specific information before deciding if
you should try to win him back?
The sad tmrh, which is perhaps
unimaginable to you, is that your Mr.
Perfect may not see you as his perfect
match. If you feel compelled to know,
ask him to tell you what he meant
when he said you were at different
places in your lives.
If it’s something you can fix
(like, say, halitosis), well then, gixxl
D ear M arriage
M inded :
Ease up, Missy,
and stop conducting
your dares like job
interviews. Finding
the right person is
no harder or easier
than it was before;
rhe only difference is
your sense of
urgency. If you apply so much pres
sure to your dates, how do you expect
to relax and have a gtxxd time?
It sounds like the intensity of
your search for “Mr. Right” would
interfere with your ability to recog
nize him even if he were sitting right
on your face.
Regardless, rake comfort in this:
If you’re only kxiking for a “gtxxl-
looking, stable guy,” your ixlds are
better rhan those who are seeking,
say, a smart, funny, wealthy, well-
endowed top with a nice collection
of Prada shoes.
jn
© Meryl Cohn 2004
MERYL C ohn is the author of Do What
I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay
and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton
Mifflin). Signed copies are available
direedy from the author. Send questions
or correspondence to
msbehavior@aol. com.