march 5. 2004 »
ADVICE
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SPIRITUALI T Y
Metro: Spirituality
Ain«worth United Church of Christ is a multi
University Park United Mathodiat Church
Euchanst at Bridgeport United C hurch of C h n st
A w elcom ing congregation. Cathokc m tradition and
believes m gwm g to the community, caring for one
Ecum enical m m em bership (6 pm Sunday 621 N E 76th
another and m aking a difference one person at a time
Ave 503-6990473 wwwkomomacommuntyorg.)
C om e celebrate G o d 's dw ersity with us! (10 am
(7/04)
Sunday 4775 N Lombard S t The Rev Jeanne
Knepper 5 0 3 2 8 9 7 8 4 3 ) (7/04)
racial. multicultural, open and affirm ing church Su n day
Longviaw United Mathodiat Church is w elcom
w orship is at 10 am. church school for children runs
ing and reconaling (10 am Sunday 2851 30th Ave
Mfaverty Heights United Church of Christ is
concurrently (2941 N E Ainsworth St 503 284 8767
auccQteleport com ) (7/04)
360425-4927 ) (7/04)
open and affirming with w orship, children's school and
child care (10 am Sunday 3300 S E Woodward St.
503-2381337 www wavedyucc org.) (7/04)
Anawrim Community of gay men m eets w eekly for
Motenoia Poaca Community United Mathodiat
Church is a ‘ house ch u rch ' that b o n gs gay and
Chnstian meditation and prayer. (7 30 pm Thursday
503-281-0722.) (7/04)
straight together Daily m orning prayer and Sunday
Wy'eest Unitarian Universalist Congregation
evening w orship (503 281 3697
is an open and kberal rekgw us com m unity offenng inter
www tearsoup.com/metanoia) 0/ 04 )
generational services and religious education for youth
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
and adults. W e welcom e gay. lesbian, bi and trans
m em bers and nurture spmtual growth Irving by Unitarian
Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a com
munity of progressive, political people exploring and
celebrating the Chnstian faith W e are sexual mmonty
holds ecum enical Sunday m orning w o rsh p services at
and straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our cM -
9 and 11 am. Su n day school for children is held during
dren are valued m em bers. (1 0 3 0 am Sunday 621 N E
the 11 am service (2400 N E Broadway. 503 2 8 1 8 8 6 8
76th Ave 503-258-0992 www.bndgeportucc org.)
mfoQmccportland.com www mccportbnd.com.) (7/04)
(7/04)
Nichiran Buddhiat Temple of Portland offers
City Church. Portland's 'o ld e st gay-affirm ing
several w eekly gatherings Everyone welcom e! (10 am
Chnstian ch u rch ,' offers a spm t-dnven church for
Sunday. 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday 7:30 pm
W ednesday meditation 2025 S E Yamhill St.
503-2328064 www mchiren-shu.org/portland) 0 /04)
today's diverse generations (10 am Sunday commu
nion and worship service. 6 3 0 pm Sunday worship
service 3830 S E 62nd A ve 503 775-5024.) (7/04)
congregation. (11 am Sunday 12727 S E Market St.
egalitarian. Jew ish Renew al congregation in Portland
503 2 5 4 -6 3 8 0 )0 / 0 4 )
U niversity C am pus M inistries. (PO Box 42187,
Portland. O R 97242-0187 503 248 4500
wvwv pnatorpdx org ) (7/04)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist. a
w elcom ing congregation, offers Su n d ay service and
children's religious education. (10.30 am Sunday.
1133 N E 181st Ave.. Gresham. 5 0 3 6 6 5 2628
eastroseOteteport com. www.eastrose.org.)(T704)
St. 503-777-3704 www w yeastpnw duuaorg .7(7/04)
Zion United Church of Christ. an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi. trans
and heterosexual people w ho w ish to w orship m a
Chnst-centered. warm, caring, multiage/race/cuftural
faith community. ( I I am Sunday 2025 N E 23rd Ave.,
Gresham 5 0 3 6 6 5 -8 7 4 1 ) (7/04)
Peace Church of the Brethren is a w elcom ing
Congregation P'nai O r (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
M e e ts several tim es a m onth at Portland State
Universalist principles (4 pm Sunday 3915 S E Steele
Central Oregon: Spirituality
Portland Canter for Spiritual Growth is a center
United Church of Christ Congregational is an
for w orship, grow th and leadership that adheres to an
open and affirming congregation m The D alles (9.20 am
all inclusive spm tual philosophy sim ilar to 12-step.
adult Sunday school. 1030 am Sunday worship
111 EFifth St 541 2 9 6 2 9 0 9 ucccoriglQnetcnct net
www form nstrycom /usorucofcucocc.) (7/04)
Unity and R eligious Science. (503-777-0727.
w ww portlandcenter org ) ( 7/04)
Portland Radical Faeriea meet twice a month with
potlucks and circles at the full m oon and the new
m oon O pen to all men seeking alternative spiritual
grow th and community. Coffee hours start 9 30 am
Washington: Spirituality
Faith United Methodist Church is a w elcom ing
Satu rdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse, 201 S E 12th A ve
Abundant Ufa Canter is A N ew Thought
com m unity of C h n stian s in Troutdale that values and
(503-235-0826 otterQpcez com.) 0/ 04 )
Com m unity for spmtual aw akening and transform ing
Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support
lives through love. A safe place w here children learn to
organization for queer people, their fam ilies and friends
em body spiritual pnncples. (10 am Sunday 10006 N E
encourages all people in finding a place of belonging in
the family o f G od. Su n day w orship at 10:15 am; Adult
Education at 9 am; children and youth at 10:30 am
W ednesday Prayers 6-6 3 0 pm. (27400 S E Stadi St.
50 3-661 -4 52 0)0 /0 4)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious com m unity offenng a wide
range o f program s to nurture spiritual growth, com m uni
ty and social |ustice Su n d ay service 9 and 11 am
(1011 S W 12th Ave. 50 3228-6389
www hrstumtananportland.org.) (7/04)
(PO Box 7320. Laguna Niguel. C A 92607-7320
866-732-5677 officeQsdakinshporg
www sdakmship org.) 0/04)
N en Catholic C hurch celebrates an affirm ing M a s s fol
lowed by a social (7 3 0 pm Friday Paulist Center.
reconciling and welcom ing. (10 am Sunday
tions. d isc u ssio n grou ps, a drum m ing circle, w ork
5701 MacArthur Blvd. 360693-4761.HT 104)
sh o p s and c la sse s. Sch e d u le of e ve n ts available All
First Congregational Church. United C hurch of
w om en are w elcom e (Suite 102. 3 4 3 0 S E Belmont
Chnst. holds services in an open and affirming congre
gation. ( 10 am Sunday worshp. 11 15 am adult educa
(7/04)
Southm inster Presbyterian Church is an
active m em ber o f the C om m unity o f W e lcom in g
2408 S E 16th A ve 503-231-4955 )0 / 0 4 )
C o n g re g a tio n s S u n d a y sch o o l and n u rse ry care
Gay M en's Labyrinth Project m eets quarterly for
C la s s e s, com m unity se rv ice activities and e ve n ts for
a w alking meditation and w isdom circle on the labyrinth
all a g e s and in te re sts (9-9:30 am Su n d ay chapel
(www gaylabynnth.com.) 0 / 0 4 )
service. 10 am Sunday com m unity worship se rvice
12250 S W D enney Road. Beaverton
503-644-2073. staffQsouthm m .com
w w w southm in.com .) 0 / 0 4 )
Integrity is a group of sexual m inonty Episcopalians
and friends Various locations throughout O regon
(Bruce 503-286-9111. brvcepdxorQattbi com.
www mtegntyusa org. ) 0 / 0 4 )
East Vancouvsr United Mathodiat Church is
Siste rSp irit o ffe rs w o m e n 's spirituality celebra
St. Mailing address P O Box 9246. Portland. O R
97207. 503-736-3297 sistersp Q telep ct com .)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO ) of S t Philip
Ninth A v e . Vancouver The Rev Kathleen Vengm
360-573 2626 ) ( 7/04)
tion. 1220 N E 68th St.. Vancouver 3 6 0 6 9 3 1 4 7 6
vanuccQaol.com.) (7/04)
Metropolitan Community Church of tha
Gantia Shepherd in Vancouver w elcom es you
(10:30 am and 6 30 pm Sunday worshp. 9 am Sunday
Bible study 2200 Broadway The Rev. Harriet
Barshofsky 3 6 0 6 9 5 1480) (7/04)
■ 1 1 - 1 ------- * » ----------- a
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fsifcnflci D v fw iu s I un
oan an un ivw M iifi
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregatxm. provides a hom e'
for the liberal refcglous spirit (9 3 0 and 11:15 am Sunday
4505 E 18th St . Vancouver 36 06 95 189 1)1 7/04)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
Interfaith Spiritual Center h o u se s spiritual direc
tors from va nous w orld rekgxxis traditions, w ho are
available for guidance, c la sse s and retreats (Second
Floor. 3910 S E 11th Ave 503-233 2026. ext. 3.
www mterfaithspmtualcenter com.) 0/ 04 )
diverse faith com m unity for prayer and fellow ship
(9 30 am Sunday 806 N E Alberta St. 503 2 8 1 4 4 2 9 )
(7/04)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled m
Keshet Portland is a potluck group for Je w ish mem
bers of the sexual m m onties com m unity and their part
ners. sp o u se s and supporters Its purpose is to help
build bridges with the larger Jew ish com m unity
C h n st congregation, w elcom es all people for traditional,
First Congregational Church. United C hurch of
C hrist Is an open and affirming congregation offenng
liturgical w orship w here w e experience G o d 's reconcil
ing love that se ts all people free (9 and I I am Sunday
w orship and church school. Chiid care provided and
1315 S W Park Ave 503-227 2439
www st/ameslutheranportland org.) ( 7/04)
M onthly social, religw us and cultural events. (David or
S t Stephen's Episcopal Church has been wetcom-
Laney 503 226-7079. ext 14.) ( 7/04)
n g all people since 1863 (12:10 pm Wednesday and
Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive,
7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child care at
10 am 1432 S W 13th Ave 503-223-6424 )0 / 0 4 )
sm al faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate
(S M Y R O a program of C ascade Behavioral
Metro: Youth
i. s social support group for sexual minority
youth of color 21 and younger, meets on weekends for
food and socializing Regular events and activities
Flavors Is a project of Love M akes a FamSy 's
MultiQueer program and is supported by Brother to
Brother. (Jaye 503-228-3892. jayeQkrim nly.org ) 07 04 )
HeeithCare. offers support and recreation to gey. les
bian. bi and trans youth 23 and younger. Offers drop-in
computer access, pool tables and an informal place to
hang out. W eekly support meetings includes Trans
Youth Group and the creative group Personal Deity
Proxy. ( 4 6 pm M onday and Wednesday. 4 pm-rmdnight
Friday and Saturday. 2100 S E Belmont St.
503872-9664. TTY503-231-9286isw w sm yrc.org.)
Other programs indude: Cheka— a C ounty
The Gay, Lesbian i
8*a«d Minority Youth Cowmctiow (COSMYC3
Mstssorfc (GLSEN) fights to end anti-gey bias si K-12
provides opportunities for queer and oueshorang youth
ages 23 and younger to get together for free, fun and
supportive social activities Offers one-on-one support
referrals and Information on Hh/and ST D prevention
and resources for adults vrfio work with queer and
questioning youth (5 0 3 9 6 9 0 0 6 0
cosm ycyouthQyahoo com.) P rid e Project brings
together W ashington County queer and questioning
youth to plan and attend monthly social events. Also
Information, referral and advocacy services in
W ashington County. (M o*y 50 3-2606792
moiyQpridtproject.org) (7/04)
schools. (Strife 180. 12700 S W North Dakota St
*129. Tigard. O R 97223. 503625-1177.
glsenQglsenoregon.org. www.glsenoregon o rg ) (7/04)
. a program of Lore M akes a Famiy. pro
vides advocacy to sexual minonty youth Offers
resources and support in the community and the school
system s, with a focus on support for queer and ques
tioning youth of color. (Jaye 50 3 2 2 8 3 8 9 2 .
jayeQ M am ilyorg.) (7/04)
Outside In operates a d ra c for anyone who can’t
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as we* as needte
exchange services that include those who inject hor
mones Can provide transitional housing for youth 20
and younger as we* as for those H h A and younger
than 23. Needs volunteers of all ages (1 0 a m 6 p m
Monday-Fnday 1132 S W 13th A ve 503535-3800.
www.outsider org.H 7/04)
Eastern Oregon: Youth
i Oregon C in tif for
Living offers support and advocacy to gay.
trans and questioning youth In Eastern Oregon
Send your
w heelchair accessible (9 3 0 am Sunday learning hour.
10.30 am w orshp 700 Manon St. NE. Salem
503-3633660 H T /04)
Metropolitan Community Church Two Rivers
is a Christian church with pnm ary outreach m the sexual
m m onties com m unity (6 3 0 pm Sunday 1166 Oak St.,
Eugene) (7/04)
(541889-3119 or 866248-8369. eodQ eoci.org.
w w w .ood.org.)n/04)
Washington: Youth
Triple Paint offers education, support and advocacy
to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth n
Vancouver. W ash M eets 641 pm Tuesdays in the beae-
ment of Youth House. 1112 Columbia St. In Vancouver.
(John 3 8 0 6 9 5 1 3 2 5 .) (7/04)
Willamette Valley: Youth
Catty« Lfetbittit, 1
Youth Group for ages 13 to 18 offers support, mferm-
ation and fen in Eugene. Free. confidential. adult-
fadktated. (Drop n 4 6 pm Friday. Ameton Community
Center. 2700 HUyard St. 54 16 84 -34 66 )0/ 04 )
Lfithliw. Catty« Bfoftxua!,____ __ __ _____
Group for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday
in Eugene (5 pm. Komonia Center. 1414 Kincaid S t
5 4 1 -3 4 6 1 1 3 4 )0 / 0 4 )
Rainbow Youth is a safe, confidential support
group for young gay men. lesbians, bisexuals,
trensgender. questioning and friends (6 8 pm
W ednesday. M icha Bwktng. 69 0 State St.. Salem
www.aatemraidbowyouth.org) (7/04)
outreach listings to
ju s t o u t [attn Calendar) • PO Box 144(
Fax submissions, to 5 0 3 -2 3 6 -1 2 5 7
e
• Portland OR 97292 0400
justout@ justout.com
The scarlet letter
When your fag hag’s husband cheats
(or when you do)
D ear M s . B ehavio r :
Besides, keeping your
My boyfriend, Paul,
“romantic detour" with
and I are delighted by the
David a secret would only
Massachusetts gay mar
put a wedge between you
riage decision and have
and Paul, possibly wreck
been excitedly planning
ing your chances for a
our June wedding in
happy gay marriage.
Provincetown.
Well-meaning friends
Paul and 1 have been
may advise you just to cut
together for four years,
off from David and not
and its never entered my
M s. Behavior mention anything to Paul,
mind to cheat on him.
with the hope of sparing
by Meryl Cohn
Until recently.
Paul’s feelings. But the
intensity of the attraction you
I’d gone out to a club after work
with some friends who were talking
describe isn’t likely just to go away on
its own.
and laughing with a man named
David. It was crowded, and David and
Start by telling Paul the truth.
I ended up sharing a barstool. There
Keep in mind that while
was an immediate magnetic attrac
Massachusetts may allow you to marry
tion, and we stayed there chatting
Paul, it doesn’t mean you have to do
after our friends had dispersed.
it. You do, however, need to be hon
est with him.
Eventually we ended up in the
hallway making out. I managed to
P.S. In the future, if all the
pull myself away somehow and went
barstools are occupied, try standing
home to Paul, who, thankfully, was
instead of sharing.
asleep. Since then David and I have
e-mailed each other 50 times a day,
D ear M s . B eh a vio r :
and he leaves messages for me on my
On a recent trip to New York, I
work voice mail.
was all excited to hit the bars! Before
I love Paul and want to marry
my suitcase touched the hotel room
him, hut I’m afraid of what this sud
floor, I was dressed and ready to go
den romantic detour might mean. Is
out and be with the hot N Y C boys.
this just a reaction
W ell...as soon as
to being about to
I walked through the
declare my love
door of the first bar,
and fidelity to Paul
I saw my friend’s
in front of our
hubby loitering
friends and family?
around looking for
Is it some sort of
trade! The problem
innate desire to
is, I am certain my
have one last
friend Marsha has
fling” before tying
no idea that her hus
the knot?
band is cheating on
Or is this a sign
her— let alone with
that Paul and I
the gay boys!
shouldn’t he enter
My friend Jasper
ing into a legal
told me I should tell
commitment to
Marsha; after all, she
each other when
is my No. 1 fag hag.
I’m not absolutely
But I’m afraid to be
sure o f my feelings
the bearer of hurtful
for someone else? If so, I think I
news. So, Ms. B, it’s on you...what
should call the wedding off now. I
should I do?
have visions o f my wedding turning
— Lost in the Sauce
into some kind of tawdry B movie
scene with my true love bursting in
D ear L o st in the S a u ce :
just as we are about to say “I do”
If you’re sure that Marsha’s hus
and my running down Commercial
band was indeed cruising (and not
Street in a wedding dress.
just, say, looking for cute men to cast
— I Do, Don't 1 ?
in a movie or peddling methampheta-
mine to underage hustlers), then you
D ear I Do, D o n ’ t I?:
should inform her.
Whoa, boy. It’s probably no coin
Yes, Marsha might he mad at you
cidence that your first little extra
for bringing this little secret to her
marital make-out session happened
attention. But she’d he way more
right after you planned your wedding.
pissed if she found out that you
Unfortunately, you now need to do
knew her husband was out sucking
the most unappealing thing you can
dick and that you didn’t bother to
possibly imagine: Tell Paul about your
mention it. j n
marriage anxiety and about your feel
ings for David (including the tongue
© Meryl Cohn 2004
insertion).
Although you’re clearly tempted
MERYL C o hn is the author of Do What
to sort out your feelings on your own,
I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay
include Paul in the process; he proba
and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton
bly has some clues about what’s hap
Mifflm). Signed copies are available
pening between the two of you lately
directly from the author. Send questions or
and about what makes you feel afraid.
correspondence to msbehaviaifjiaol.com
I have visions
o f m y wedding
turning Into
some kind of
taw dry B movie
scene with
m y true love
bursting In
ju st as we are
about to say
“I d o ”
33