le M ia r y f i. 2 004
ADVICE
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SPIRITUALITY
Metro: Spirituality
Ainsworth United Church of C hrist is a
multiracial, multicultural, open and affirming church
Sunday worship is at 10 am. church school for children
runs concurrently (294 1 NE Ainsworth St
503-284-8767 aucc@ teleport co m ) (7/04)
Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for
Chnstian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm Thursday
503281 -0722) (7/04)
Bridgeport United Church of C hrist is a com
munity of progressive, political people explonng and
celebrating the Chnstian faith. We are sexual mlnonty
and straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our chil
dren are valued members. (1 0 3 0 am Sunday 621 NE
76th Ave 503-258-0992 www bndgeportucc o rg )
(7/04)
The City Church Portlands "oldest gay-affirming
Chnstian church." offers a spint driven church for
today s diverse generations (10 am Sunday commu
nion and worship service, 6 3 0 pm Sunday worship
service 3830 SE 62nd Ave 503-775-5024 7(7/04)
Congregation P.'nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
egalitarian. Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland
Meets several times a month at Portland State University
Campus Ministries. (PO Box 42187, Portland, OR
97242-0187. 503-248 4500 www pnaiorpdx o rg ) (7/04)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a
welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and
children's religious education (10:30 am Sunday.
1133 NE 181st A v e . Gresham 503-665-2628
eastrose@ teleport.com www eastrose.org)(7704)
Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive,
University Park United Methodist Church
small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate
Euchanst at Bndgeport United Church of Chnst A wel-
coming congregation. Catholic in tradition and
Ecumenical in membership (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th
Ave. 503-699-0473 www koinomacommunity ora.)
(7/04)
believes in giving to the community, canng for one
another and making a difference one person at a time
Come celebrate God's diversity with us! (10 am
Sunday 4775 N Lombard S t The Rev Jeanme
Knepper 503-289-7843.) (7/04)
Longview United Methodist Church is welcom
ing and reconciling (10 am Sunday 2851 30th Ave
360 4 2 5 -4 9 2 7 )( 7/04)
Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist
Church is a "house church" that bnngs gay and
straight together Daily morning prayer and Sunday
evening worship (503-281 3697.
www tearsoup com /m etanoia.) (7/04)
M etropolitan Com m unity C hurch of
P ortland holds ecumenical Sunday morning w or
ship services at 9 and 11 am. Sunday school for chil
dren is held dunng the 11 am service. (2400 NE
Broadway. 503-281 8868 mfo@ mccportland com.
www m ccportland com .) (7 /04)
The Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland
offers several weekly gathenngs. Everyone welcome1
(10 am Sunday. 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday
7 30 pm Wednesday meditation 2025 SE Yamhill St
503-232 8064 www nichiren-shu.org/portland) (7/04)
Peace Church of the Brethren is a welcoming
congregation. ( I I am Sunday 12727 SE M arket St
503-254 6380 ) (7/04)
Portland Center fo r Spiritual Growth is a center
for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an
all-inclusive spintual philosophy similar to 12-step.
Unity and Religious Science. (503-777-0727.
www portlandcenter org.) (7/04)
Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming
community of Chnstians in Troutdale that values and
encourages all people in finding a place of belonging in
the family of God Sunday worship at 10:15 am: Adult
Education at 9 am: children and youth at 10 30 am
Wednesday Prayers 6-6:30 pm. (27400 SE Stark St.
503-661 -4 5 2 0 )0 /04)
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with
potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new
moon. Open to all men seeking alternative spintual
growth and community Coffee hours start 9 30 am
Saturdays at 3 Friends Coffeehouse, 201 SE 12th Ave
(503-235-0826 otter@ pcez com ) (7/04)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offenng a wide
range of programs to nurture spmtual growth, communi
ty and social justice Sunday service 9 and 11 am
(1011 SW 12th Ave 503 228-6389
www firstumtananportland org .) (7/04)
organization for queer people, their families and
fnends. (PO Box 7320. Laguna Niguel. CA
92607-7320. 866-732-5677. office@sdakmship org
www sdakmship o rg ) (7/04)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St Philip
Neri Catholic Church celebrates an affirming Mass fol
lowed by a social (7.30 pm Fnday Paulist Center.
2408 SE 16th Ave 503-231-4955) (7/04)
Gay Men's Labyrinth Project meets quarterly for
a walking meditation and wisdom circle on the labynnth
(www gaylabynnth co m ) (7/04)
Gay Men's S pirit Group is open to all men expen-
enced or interested in alternative spintual practices
such as New Age. shamanism, meditation,
psychic/intuitive. energy work and healing.
(503-230- 7949 ) (7/04)
Integrity is a group of sexual minonty Episcopalians
and fnends Vanous locations throughout Oregon
(Bruce 503 286-9111. bmcepdxor@ attbi com.
www mtegntyusa o rg ) (7/04)
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spintual direc
tors from vanous wodd religious traditions, who are
available for guidance, classes and retreats (Second
Floor, 3910 SE 11th Ave 503-233-2026. ext 3
www mterfaithspmtualcenter com .) (7/04)
Keshet Portland is a potluck group for Jewish mem
bers of the sexual minonties community and their part
ners. spouses and supporters Its purpose is to help
build bndges with the larger Jewish community
Monthly social, religious and cultural events
(David o r Laney 503-226-7079. ext. 14 7 (7/04)
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Flavors, a social support group for sexual minority
youth of color 21 8nd younger, meets on weekends for
food and socializing Regular events and activities.
Flavors is a project of Love Makes a Famrfy s
MultiQueer program and is supported by Brother to
Brother. (Jaye 503-228-3892 ¡aye@ lmfamly.org.) W 0 4 )
The Gay, Lasbian and S traight Education
Natworii (GLSEN) fights to end anti-gay bras m K-12
schools. (12700 SW N orth Dakota St.. Suite 180.
*129. Tigard. OR 97223 503-525-1177
glsen@ glsenoregonorg. www glsenoregon o rg ) (7/04)
Mufti Queer a program of Love Makes a Family,
provides advocacy to sexual minority youth. Offers
resources and support in the community and the school
systems, with a focus on support for queei and ques
tioning youth of color (Jaye 5 0 3 22 8 3 8 9 2
iaye@lmfam4y.org.) (7/04)
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can t
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle
exchange services that include those who inject hor
mones. Can provide transitional housing for youth 20
and younger as w ei as for those fW + and younger
than 23. Needs volunteers of all ages. (10 am-6 pm
Monday Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave 503-535-3800
www outsidein.org.) (7/04)
Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation
is an open and liberal religious community offenng
mtergenerational services and religious education for
youth and adults We welcome gay, lesbian, bi and
trans members and nurture spiritual growth living by
Umtanan Universalist principles. (4 pm Sunday
3915 SE Steele St 503-777-3704
www wyeast pnwd uua. org ) (7/04)
Zion United Church of Christ an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi. trans
and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a
Chnst-centered, warm, canng, multiage/race/cultural
faith community (11 am Sunday 2025 NE 23rd A ve .
Gresham 503 665 8 741 ) (7/04)
Central Oregon: Spirituality
United Church o f C hrist C ongregational is
an open and affirming congregation in The Dalles
(9 2 0 am adult Sunday school. 10.30 am
Sunday worship I I I E F ifth S t 5 4 1 -296-2909
ucccongl@ netcnct. net.
www form inistry.com /usorucofcucocc.) (7/04)
Abundant Life Center is A New Thought
Community for spintual awakening and transforming
lives through love A safe place where children learn to
embody spintual pnnciples (10 am Sunday 10006 NE
Ninth Ave.. Vancouver. The Rev Kathleen Vengm
360-573-2626.) (7/04)
East Vancouver United Methodist Church is
reconciling and welcoming. (10 am Sunday
5701 MacArthur Btvd 360-693 4 7 6 1 7(7/04)
Southminster Presbyterian Church is an active
Metropolitan Community Church of the
Gentle Shepherd in Vancouver welcomes you.
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship
(9 3 0 am Sunday 806 NE Alberta St 503 281 4429.)
(7/04)
St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in
Chnst congregation, welcomes all people for traditional,
liturgical worship where we experience God s reconcil
ing love that sets all people free (9 and 11 am Sunday
1315 SW Park Ave 503 227-2439
www stjameslutheranportland o rg ) (7/04)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been wel
coming all people since 1863 (12:10 pm Wednesday
and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child
care at 10 am 1432 SW 13th Ave 503-223 6424)
(7/04)
Sexual M in o rity Youth R esource Center, a
program o f Cascadia Behavioral Healthcare, offers
support and recreation to gay. lesbian, bi and bans
youth 23 and younger. O ffers drop-in computer
access, pool tables and an informal place to hang
out W eekly support meetings includes Trans Youth
G roup and the creative group Personal Deity Proxy.
(4-8 pm M onday and W ednesday. 4 pm m idnight
Friday and Saturday. 2100 SE Belm ont S t
503-872-9664 TTY 503-231-9286 w ww sm yrc.o rg )
O ther programs include C lackam as C ounty
Sexual M in o rity Youth C onnection (COS-
M YC ) provides opportunities for queer and ques
tioning youth ages 23 and younger to get together
for free, fun and supportive social activities. Offers
one-on-one support, referrals and information on
HIV and STD prevention and resources for adults
who work with queer and questioning youth.
(503-969-0060 cosm ycyoutb@ yahoo.com .) P ride
P ro je c t brings together Washington County queer
and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly
social events. Also information, referral and advoca
cy services in Washington County. (M olly
503 260-5792. molly@p<1deproiect o rg ) (7/0 4 )
(10 30 am and 6 30 pm Sunday worship. 9 am Sunday
Bible study 2200 Broadway The Rev Harriet
Barshofsky 360-695-1480) (7/04)
Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a
home for the liberal religious spint. (9 3 0 and 1115 am
Sunday 4505 E 18th St.. Vancouver 360 695-1891.)
(7/04)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church United Church of
Chnst is an open and affirming congregation offenng
worship and church school Child care provided and
wheelchair accessible (9 3 0 am Sunday learning hour.
10 30 am worship 700 Manon St NE, Salem
503 363 3660 7(7/04)
MCC Two Rivers is a Chnstian church with pnmary
outreach in the sexual minonties community (6 3 0 pm
Sunday 1166 Oak St.. Eugene ) (7/04)
bi, trans and questioning youth in Eastern Oregon
(541 889-3119 o r 866-248 8369. eocil@ eoal org
www eoctl org.) (7/04)
Washington: Youth
Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy
to gay. lesbian, bi, trans and questioning youth in
Vancouver, Wash. Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the base
ment of Youth House, 1112 Columbia S t m Vancouver
(John 360-6951325) (7/04)
Eastern Oregon Canter for Independent
Living offers support and advocacy to gay, lesbian.
Send your
While doing laundry
this week, l was surprised
to discover a pair of extra-
large 2(x)ist white boxer
briefs. What was unusual
is that my boyfriend and l
are quite svelte.
I don’t know which
was more shocking— that
he was cheating on me or
that he is a chubby chas
er. He claims to have
purchased the wrong size
in a shopping frenzy at Filene’s
Basement. Can I trust him, or should
l he indulging in extra sugar and fat?
— Do These Briefs Make Me
Look Fat?
D ear D o T hese B riefs M ake M e
L oo k F a t ?:
It sounds like your boyfriend has
finally surrendered to his cravings
and is sleeping with a big hunky man
who has a hit of a gut.
For the health of your relationship,
you might need to consider giving in
to some of your desires, too, and mak
ing some late-night runs to 7-Eleven
for Ben & Jerry’s “Chubby Hubby.” In
this way, you and your boyfriend can
he bonded in your quest for pleasure
and satiety, instead of your commit
ment to diets and deprivation.
First, it’s unlikely that a
weight-obsessed, svelte
man like you would “acci
dentally” buy Big Boy
underwear. It’s not like you
brought home a medium
pair— the fact that you
went for extra-large sounds
more like a crying-out-for-
help from your un
conscious that goes some
thing like this: “Please
save me from my shallow
attachments to starvation
and fashion, and let me find a big,
hearty man who will sling my bony
body over his shoulder and fuck me
and stuff my face until I can fill out
this pair of big, sexy underwear.”
Ms. Behavior can’t help hut
notice that both you and your
boyfriend claimed to he doing the
laundry when the errant pair o f
underwear was discovered. This sug
gests a deeper problem, perhaps one
of merging, which might ultimately
he resolved if you weren’t Kith Kine-
thin, fashion-victim homos.
Perhaps a good couple’s therapist
might help you embrace your more pri
mal desires instead of secreting them
away (only to have them expressed in
passive-aggressive purchases).
D ear M s . B e h a v io r :
My girlfriend’s ex Pat used to
hang out with us a lot, which was a
nuisance. Pat’s not a had person, hut
My Kiyfriend is delusional, and I
she’s needy and negative.
need your help.
I am obsessed with my weight and
A year or so ago, Pat got involved
the weight of other men. My favorite
with Brenda, who’s a possessive
pastime is to see how fat people got
nightmare. The only benefit to Pat’s
involvement with Brenda is that
since last summer or over the course
now she spends less time with us.
of a couple of years.
I take pride in the fact that I eat
Their relationship is rocky now,
carefully, and others always comment
and Pat often asks our advice. Based
with envy on how thin I am. There
on Brenda’s psycho Khavior, I’d
is nothing worse than a chubby man. ! ordinarily advise Pat to kick her to
the curb. But I find myself holding
Recently while on a shopping
hack, because I know that if Pat
extravaganza at Filene’s Basement I
found a Valentino coat, which made
becomes single again, she’ll spend a
me ecstatic. I got so distracted by my
lot more time with us, which I dread.
find that I accidentally Kiught extra- j
Is it unethical for me to withhold
large 2(x)ist Kixer briefs instead of
my opinion so that I’m spared a
my usual size small.
heavier dose of Pat’s company?
When I got home and did the
— Rock and Hard Place
laundry, my Kiyfriend worried that I
was having a sexual escapade with
D ear R o c k a n d H a r d P la c e :
another man because there was strange
Ethics don’t really come into play
underwear in our basket. I explained
here. You’re not Pat’s therapist nor
her mother, and it’s not your job to
the scenario, hut he didn’t believe me.
protect hen
How can I convince my Kiyfriend
that if I were to have a hot sexual
If Brenda were truly abusive (as
encounter, it would clearly he with
opposed to just garden-variety psy
someone who wears size small and
cho), you might K ' more motivated
that l am N O T a chubby chaser?
to say what you think. But in this
Our relationship is strained, and now
case, if what’s at stake is Pat’s sanity
vs. your own, withholding your opin
he doesn’t trust me.
ion seems OK. j n
— Thin and Wearing
a Fabulous Coat j
© Meryl Cohn 2004
D ear M s . B e h a v io r :
*
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gey. Lesbian, Bi, Transgander and Questioning
Youth Group for ages 13 to 18 offers support, informa
tion and fun In Eugene Free, confidential, adult-facitated
(Drop in 4-6 pm Fncby Amazon Community Center.
2700 hUyard St. 541684-3466 )0 /0 4 )
Lasbian, Gay, Bisexual. Transgender Youth
Group for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday
in Eugene (5 pm Komorua Center. 1414 Kincaid St
541-346-1134.) 0 104)
Eastern Oregon: Youth
D ear M s . B e h a v io r :
Washington: Spirituality
First Congregational Church United Church of
Christ, holds services in an open and affirming
congregation (10 am Sunday worship. 11 15 am
adult education 1220 NE 68th St.. Vancouver
360-693 1476. vanucc@aol com.) (7/04)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
Is there a subliminal message
in your new pair of underwear?
Sunday 3300 SE Woodward St 503-238-1337
www wavertyucc org ) (7/04)
S isterS pirit offers women's spintuality celebrations,
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes. Schedule of events available All women are
welcome (Suite 102. 3430 SE Belmont St. Mailing
address PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207.
503-736-3297 sistersp@ teleport.com ) (7/04)
member of the Community of Welcoming
Congregations Sunday school and nursery care
Classes, community service activities and events for
all ages and interests. (9-9 3 0 am Sunday chapel serv
ice. 10 am Sunday community worship service
12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton 503-644 2073
staff@southmm com www southm m .com ) (7/04)
A brief encounter
Waverly Heights UCC is open and affirming with
worship, children's school and child care (W arn
Rainbow Youth is a safe, confidential support group for
young gay men. lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, question
ing and friends. (66 pm Wednesdays Mkha Baking. 690
State St . Salem www.salemfamixywyoutb.org ) (7/04)
outreach listings to:
just out (attn Calendar) • PO Box 14400 • Portland OR 97293 0400
Fax submissions to 5 0 3 -2 3 6 1 25 7 or e mai ju s to u t@ ju s to u t.c o m
Submissions cannot be accepted over the phone • Please type your announcements and include full contact information
D ear T h in a n d W
F abu lo u s C o a t
e ar in g
a
MERYL C ohn is the author of Do What
If you’re indeed not engaging in
extracurricular activities with a
chuhster, deeper problems lurk
beneath the fashionable fabric of
your relationship.
I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay
and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton
Mtfflm). Signed copies are available
directly from the author. Send questions or
correspondence to msbehavior@anl com.
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