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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 23, 2004)
î HUMOR Acting your age very winter, Floyd and 1 leave rainy Portland and fly south for a chance to see that thing we keep hearing about— what’s it called again’ Ah, yes, the SUN. We go to Palm Springs. 1 love everything about Palm “OK, Milwaukee’s in with San Springs. I even love the airport, Diego, right?” I ask Floyd as I return which was built in the 1960s in to my chaise like someone who’s that modem Jetsons-like way that missed part of the game while at people thought the future would the snack stand. look like hut doesn’t. 1 love how “They’ve just brought in Cleve we de-plane right onto the tarmac, land and Atlanta,” he says. “Wow,” I say. “An orgy.” instead of being hustled through by M a rc Acito “N ot quite,” says Boston, who’s the cattle chute. And 1 love stand lying next to Floyd. “It takes five ing at the top of the stairs, my eyes adjusting to that fiery ball in the sky (what’s it to make an orgy.” called again?) and indulging my secret fantasy “Really.7” I ask. This is news to me. “Absolutely,” he says, authoritatively. that I’m Jackie Kennedy just arriving in Dallas. 1 admit it’s bizarre (particularly when you “W hat they’re having is a /orgy consider how badly Jackie’s day in Dallas Who knew this trip would be so educational? turned out), hut I can’t resist imagining myself nfortunately, the weather turned cold and in a pink Chanel suit as I give a little wave to the bewildered baggage handlers below. cloudy this year, which meant the hot tub got so crowded it began to resemble Man Floyd and 1 stay at Inndulge, which is aptly Soup. With no sun to enjoy, Floyd and I caught named. Unlike some gay clothing-optional up on our moviegoing. resorts, Inndulge is sexy without feeling sleazy First we went to see Cold Mountain but were and is, most importantly to a Chatty Cathy thoroughly distracted by Nicole Kidman’s like me, very friendly. W hat’s more, you can discover all kinds of strangely immobile forehead. It was as if they’d cast one of those big stone heads from Easter things about men when you see them naked, Island. But even worse was Cher in the Farrelly not the least of which is whether the carpet brothers’ Stuck on You, the title obviously refer matches the curtains, if you know what I mean. ring to her nose, which looked like it had been This Inndulgent combination of nudity, spackled in place. homosexuality and alcohol quickly leads to so Thank God for Diane Keaton, who was much room-hopping it’s impossible to keep track totally natural-looking and simply luminous in of who is with whom. Even if you dispense with Something’s Gotta Give. But Floyd and I weren’t names and simply refer to people by city (as I interested in her romance with Jack Nicholson; do), you still need a flow chart to keep score. E mature man can walk into a bar, order a Meta mucil Martini and feel proud to act his age. And that, my friends, is The Gospel According to Marc. jH In praise of Palm Springs The Gospel According to Marc U A ll A rth o u s e ★ we wanted to see her end up with the hunky doctor played by Keanu Reeves. Actually, we wanted to see ourselves end up with hunky Keanu Reeves, if only to give the boys around the pool at Inndulge something to talk about. At the other end of the age spectrum, we also saw Peter Pan, which contained so much sexual tension between its 12- and 13-year-old leads I was worried the vice squad was going to swoop into the theater and arrest us. I found it an interesting coincidence that so many of the movies we saw in Palm Springs got us thinking about aging. You see, in Palm Springs you’re either gay or gray— or both, which is partly why I love it so. I’m 38 years old, but in Palm Springs I’m not even a chicken yet. I’m more like an egg. So while I typically hang out with my peers at the video bar Hunters, I always make a point of stopping in first at the Rainbow Cactus Café, a place that skews so old, some call it the Rainbow Casket. It’s unkind but true; they ought to post a sign at the door: “Must be at least 55 to enter.” According to Tim Bergling’s fascinating study on ageism in the gay community, Reeling in the Years, older and younger gay men are like “Italian salad dressing in the fridge. You can shake us all you want, but eventually we’ll lift, separate and retreat to separate halves of the bottle.” But not in Palm Springs, which is per haps the only place in America where a M arc ; A c ito s first novel, How I Paid for College, will he published in September by Doubleday. Write him at m arc@ m arcacito.com . RENTAIS-5 D fo r e ig n i f C u lt C lassics i f G a y & L e s b ia n D o c u m e n ta rie s i f A s ia n C u lt i f The L a t e s t C h a r t B u s te rs The cool—hard to find movies! 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