January 22. 2004 • J n t M A 33
ADVICE
................ ¥ .................
Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive,
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been wel
sm all faith com m unity that gathers w eekly to celebrate
com ing a l people since 1863 (12 10 pm W ednesday
Metro: Spirituality
Euchanst at Bridgeport United C hurch of C h n st A w el
com ing congregation. Catholic m tradition and
and 7 4 5 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child
care at 10 am. 1432 S W 13th Ave 503-2236424 )
Ainsworth United Church of Christ is a multi
Ecum enical m m em bership (6 pm Sunday 621 N E 76th
A ve 503-699-0473. www komomacommumtyorg )
(7/04)
S P I R I T U A L I T Y
racial, multicultural, open and affirm ing church. Sunday
w orship is at 10 am; church sch o o l for children runs
(7/04)
believes in giving to the community, caring for one
concurrently. (2941 N E Ainsworth St 503-284-8767.
Longview United Methodist Church is w elcom
another and m aking a difference one person at a time.
aucc0teleport co m ) (7/04)
ing and reconciling. (10 am Sunday 2851 30th Ave
C o m e celebrate G o d 's diversity with us! (10 am
360-425-4927) (7104)
Sunday 4775 N Lombard St. The Rev Jeannie
Knepper 503 289- 7 8 4 3 ) (7/04)
Anawim Community of gay m en m eets w eekly for
Christian m editation and prayer (7 30 pm Thursday
503-281-0722.) (7/04)
Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a com m u
nity of progressive, political people exploring and cele
brating the Christian faith W e are sexual m inonty and
straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our children
are valued m em bers. (10:30 am Sunday. 621 N E 76th
Ave 503-258-0992 www bndgeportucc.org ) (7/04)
Ths City Church. Portland's "o ld e st gay-affirm ing
Chnstian church," offers a spint-driven church for
today's diverse generations (W arn Sunday commu
nion and worship service, 6.30 pm Sunday worship
service. 3830 S E 62nd A ve 503- 775-5024 ) (7/04)
Congregation P'nai Or (Faces o f Light) is a vibrant,
egalitarian, Je w ish Renew al congregation in Portland
M e e ts several tim es a m onth at Portland State
Meta no la Peace Community United Methodist
Church is a "h o u se church" that bn n gs gay and
Waveriy Heights U C C is open and affirm ing with
straight together D aily m orning prayer and Sunday
w orship, children's school and child care. (10 am
evening w orship. (503-281-3697.
www tearsoup.com/metanoia ) (7/04)
Sunday 3300 S E Woodward St 503-238 1337
www wavertyucc org.) (7/04)
M etropolitan Com m unity Church of
Portland h o ld s ecum enical S u n d a y m orning w or
is an open and liberal religious com m unity offenng mter-
sh ip se rv ic e s at 9 and 11 am. S u n d a y sch o o l for chil
generational se rvice s and religious education for youth
dren is held during the 11 am service. (2400 N E
and adults W e w elcom e gay. lesbian, bi and trans
m em bers and nurture spintual growth living by Unitarian
Broadw ay 503-281-8868 info0m ccportland com.
w w w mccportland. com . ) (7/04)
The
Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation
Universalist pnnciples (4 pm Sunday 3915 S E Steele
St 503-777-3704 w ww wyeastpnwduua org.) (7/04)
offers several w eekly gathenngs Everyone welcom e!
Zion United Church of Christ, an open and
(10 am Sunday. 7.30 am Tuesday and Thursday
7 3 0 pm W ednesday meditation 2025 S E Yamhill St.
503-232-8064 www nichiren shu org/portland ) (7/04)
affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, b*. trans
U niversity C am p u s M inistries. (PO Box 42187,
Northwest Two-Spirit Society of Portland wel
Portland. O R 97242-0187 503-248-4500
www pnaiorpdx.org.) (7/04)
com es new m em bers from the native queer (Tw o-Spint)
and heterosexual people w ho w ish to w orship in a
Christ-centered, warm, canng. m ultiage/race/cultural
faith com m unity ( I I am Sunday 2025 N E 23rd A v e .
Gresham 503 665 8 7 4 1 ) (7/04)
com m unity to join our council and organize o r attend
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian U niversalis! a
w elcom ing congregation, offers Su n d ay service and
m onthly m eetings (Amanda 503-869-0076.
thesebratdsQgo co m ) (7/04)
children's religious education. (10:30 am Sunday
Peace Church of the Brethren is a w elcom ing
1133 N E 181st A ve , Gresham. 503-665 2628
eastroseQteleport.com www.eastrose.org.) (7 /04)
congregation. (1 1 am Sunday 12727 S E Market St.
Faith United Methodist Church is a w elcom ing
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a center
com m unity of C hristians in Troutdale that values and
encourages all people in finding a place of belonging in
for w orship, grow th and leadership that adheres to an
the family of G od. Su n d ay w orship at 10:15 am; Adult
and R eligious Science. (5 03-777-0727
wwwportlandcenterorg.) (7/04)
Education at 9 am; children and youth at 10:30 am
W ednesday Prayers 6-6 30 pm. (27400 S E Stark St.
503-661-4520.) (7704)
503 25 4-638 0) (7/04)
Central Oregon: Spirituality
United Church of Christ Congregational is an
open and affirming congregation m The Dalles (9 20 am
adult Sunday school. 1030 am Sunday worshp
H I E Fifth St. 541 29 62 90 9 ucccongl0netcnct.net.
www formmstry com /usorucofcucocc ) (7/04)
all-inclusive spiritual philosophy sim ilar to 12-step. Unity
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life Center is A N ew Thought
First Unitarian Church o f Portland is an open and
potlucks and circles at the full m oon and the new
moon. O pen to all m en seeking alternative spintual
affirming liberal religious com m unity offering a wide
grow th and community. C offe e hours start 9:30 am
lives through love A safe place w here children learn to
range of program s to nurture spm tual growth, com m uni
Saturdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse. 201 S E 12th Ave.
em body spintual principles (10 am Sunday. 10006 N E
ty and social justice. Su n d ay service 9 and 11 am
(503 235-0826 otter0pcet.com .)(7/04)
(1 011 S W 12th Ave. 5032 28 -63 89
www.hrstunitananportland.org.) (7/04)
Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support
Ninth A v e . Vancouver The Rev Kathleen Verigin
360-573-2626.) (7/04)
Com m unity for spintual aw akening and transform ing
organization for queer people, th a r fam ilies and fnends
East Vancouver United Methodist Church is
(P O Box 7320. Laguna Niguel. C A 92607-7320
8667 32 -56 77 office0sdakinshiporg.
www sdakinship.org.) (7/04)
reconciling and w elcom ing. (10 am Sunday
5701 MacArthur Bhrd. 3 6 6 6 9 3 4 7 6 1 ) (7/04)
SisterSpirit offers w om en's spirituality celebrations,
Christ, holds se rvice s m an open and affirming congre
Gay M en's Labyrinth Project m eets quarterly for
a walking m editation and w isdom circle on the labyrinth.
d iscu ssio n groups, a drum m ing circle, w orksh o p s and
gation (10 am Sunday worship. 11:15 am adult educa
c la sse s Schedule of events available All w om en are
(wwwgaylabynnthcom.) (7/04)
w elcom e (Suite 102. 3430 S E Belmont St Mailing
tion. 1220 N E 68th St.. Vancouver 360-693 1476.
vanucc0aol co m ) (7/04)
Gay M en's Spirit Group is open to all m en expen-
address P O Box 9246. Portland. O R 97207
503 73 63 29 7 sistersp§teleport com.) (7/04)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (G A LO ) of S t Philip
Neri Catholic C hurch celebrates an affirm ing M a s s fol
lowed by a social (7 3 0 pm Friday. Pauhst Center,
2 4 0 8 S E 16th Ave. 503-23 (-4 9 5 5 7 (7 / 0 4 )
enced or interested m alternative spintual practices
such a s N ew Age. sham anism , meditation,
Southm inster Presbyterian Church is an active
psychic/intuitive, energy w ork and healing.
(503-230- 7 9 4 9 ) (7/04)
m em ber o f the Com m unity of W elcom ing
C on gre gation s Su n day school and nursery care
Integrity is a group of sexual m inority Episcopalians
and friends V arious locations throughout O regon.
(Bruce 5 03 2 8 6 9 1 11 brucepdxorOatttx com.
Interfaith Spiritual Center h o u se s spintual direc
tors from various w orld rekgrous traditions, w ho are
available for guidance, c la sse s and retreats (Second
Floor. 3910 S E 11th Ave 5 0 3 2 3 3 2 0 2 6 . ext 3
wwwmterfaithspintualcenter.com.) (7/04)
Keehet Portland is a potluck group for Jew ish mem
bers of the sexual m inorities com m unity and their part
ners. sp o u se s and supporters Its purpose is to help
build bnd ges with the larger Jew ish community.
M onthly social, religious and cultural events. (David or
Laney 503 226 7079. ext. 14.) (7/04)
Y C)L
I H
First Congregational Church. United C hurch of
Metropolitan Community Church of the
Gentle Shepherd in Vancouver w elcom es you.
(10:30 am and 6 30 pm Sunday worship. 9 am Sunday
Bible study 2200 Broadway The Rev Harriet
Barshofsky 360 695 1480.) (7/04)
Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship, a W elcom ing Congregation, provides a
hom e for the liberal rekgw us spint. (9.30 and 11:15 am
Sunday 4505 E 18th St.. Vancouver 360-6961891.)
(7/04)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
diverse faith com m unity for jyayer and fellow ship
(9 3 0 am Sunday 806 N E Alberta St. 503 2 8 1 4 4 2 9 )
(7/04)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
St. James Lutheran Church a Reconcfed in C hnst
First Congregational Church United Church of
Christ is an open and affirming congregation offenng
worship and church school. C M d care provided and
wheelchair accessible (9 3 0 am Sunday learning hour.
10 30 am worship 700 M anor St NE. Salem
503 363 3660 ) (7/04)
congregation, w elcom es a l people for traditional, kturgeal
w orsh p where we experience G o d 's reconcikng love that
se ts a l people free (9 and 11 am Sunday 1315 S W Park
Ave 503 2 2 72 43 9 www st/ameslutheranportland org.)
(7/04)
of C a sc a d e
a pro
Behavioral HealthCare. offers sup
(541-8893119 or 8662468389. eoc40eoc4.org
www.eoal.org.) (7/04)
port and recreation to gay. lesban. bi and trans youth
23 and younger. O ffers drop-in com puter access, pool
tables and an informal place to hang out. W eekly su p
, a social support group for sexual m nority
youth of color 21 and younger, m eets on w eekends for
food and soaakong. Regular events and aetMbee.
Flavors « a protect of Love M ake s a Fam ly's
MultiQueer program and la supported by Brother to
(Jaye 503-2263892 pye0tmfan4y.org.) (7/04)
Gay, I
Network (G LSEN ) fights to end anti-gay bias in K-12
The
(12700 SW North Dakota St.. Sake 180.
«129. Tigard. OR 97223. 503-5261177.
glsen0gl9enorBgon.org wwwglaanoregonorg) (7/04)
schools.
Muttf Queer a program of Love M ake s a Family, pro
vides advocacy to sexual mmorfty youth O ffers
resources and support In the community and the school
system s, with a focus on support for queer and qu es
tioning youth of color
a g e s and interests. (9 -9 30 am Sunday chapel service.
gram
M etro: Youth
Brother
C la sse s, com m unity service activities and events for aH
10 am Sunday community worship service 12250 S W
Denney Road. Beaverton 503-644 2073
staff0southmm com. www southmin.com.) (7/04)
www integntyusaorg.) (7/04)
(Jaye 503-2283892.
port m eetings includes Trans Youth Group and the cre
(4-8 pm Monday and
weonesoay, 4 pfThfryofygnt rnoay ana omuraay.
2100 SE Belmont St 503872-9664 TTY
503-231 -9286 www.smyrc org.) Other program s
ative group Personal Deity Proxy.
Cte ehamue Com ity Sommi MhmHty
Youth C oaaeclloo (C O S M Y O provides opportuni
include:
so n a i activities O ffers one-on-one support, referrals
and information on r tV and S T D prevention and
(10 am -6 pm
Monday-Fddty 1132 SW 13th Ave 5038363800
wwwoutstdan.org.) (7/04)
than 23. N eed s volunteers of a l ages.
to gey, lesbian, bi, trans and questioning youth in
\fencouver, W ash M eets 6-8 pm Tuesdays In the b ase
ment of Ybuth House. 1112 Colum bia S t in \fencow er
(John 3608961325.) (7/04)
W illam ette Valley: Youth
resources for adults who work with queer and question
ing youth. (503-96570060
cosmycyouthOyahoo com )
Pride P roject brings together W ashington County
queer and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly
social events. A lso information, referral and advocacy
(MrAy 503-260-5792.
1 hi operates a choc for anyone *4x> can't
mones. C an provide transitional housing for youth 20
and younger a s w el a s for those HfV+ and younger
Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy
ties for queer and questioning youth age s 23 and
mo«y0pndepropct org.) (7/04)
qualify for the O regon Health Plan a s wet a s needle
exchange services that Include those who Inject hor
W ashington: Youth
younger to get together for free, fun and supportive
services in W ashington County.
pye0tmfan4y.orgJ (7/04)
Youth G rou p for ages 13 to 18 offers support, nforma-
Hon and fcn In Eugene. Free, confidential. adtA-facAtated.
(Drop n 4 6 pm Friday Amazon Communty Center,
2700 hUyan) St 5418843466.) (V W
— — m ■ ■ . mm m m «
B lm so M o I I Tan
Ol, ■ ■
» -
- — .— —
Group for ages 25 and younger m eets every M onday
n Eugene. (5 pm
Kononie Center, 1414 Kincaid St.
541-3461134.) (1/04)
Eastern O regon: Youth
Custom O rogon Center for !
Living offers support and advocacy to gay. lesbian,
bi. trens and questioning youth in Eastern O regon
Send your
Tops, bottoms and formers
University Parii United Methodist Church
i Y o u * is a safe, confidential support group for
y x r g gay men. lesbians, bisexual*, tansgander. question
(68 pm Wednesday* Mkha Baking. 690
State St.. Salem www aaP mrarbemyouth.org ) (7/04)
Queers telling lies and living them
D
M
e a r
s
. B
e h a v io r
:
Recently 1 met a man
online, and we developed
a rapport very quickly. 1
explained that 1 was a
total top, to which he
replied that he was a
total bottom and had no
interest in being any
thing else.
He invited me to
spend a weekend with
him in another city. Just
as I was about to order
tickets to travel, he suddenly revealed
that he’s actually a top, and a leather
master to boot! He then told me he
wanted me to know before it went
any further and asked if we could be
friends!
1 asked him how he thought we
could be friends when he began by
outright lying to me. He acted as if 1
had an attitude problem, which 1
don’t think I do. How is it possible to
have any relationship, even a friend
ship, when it’s all built on lies?
If he had leveled with me from the
start, maybe we could have been
friends— I’ve been very good friends
with other tops over the years— but 1
can’t help but feel that his actions
showed disrespect and dishonesty. Am
I overreacting?
—M orally Outraged
D
e a r
M
o r a lly
O
u t r a g e d
:
Oh, if only everyone would tell
the truth online! N o one would won
der if the woman who says she’s wear
ing a push-up bra, French-cut bikini
and heels is really a wormy man in a
dirty bathrobe. Everyone would post
real photos, not clippings from glam
orous magazines.
And a big top like you could safely
meet a bottom, without worrying that
he secretly wishes to do terrible things
to you. If everyone would just be hon
est, so many more people would meet
their soul mates!
But not everyone who’s looking
for sex online is looking for a real
connection. Some people want to dis
cuss their sexual fantasies but don’t
want anything more. And, yes, a top
may sometimes fantasize about being
a bottom and vice versa. Like it or
not, the Internet also provides
anonymity and lots of opportunities
for games.
Your faux bottom, who was proba
bly just looking for entertainment, is
unlikely to become your friend. You
think he’s a liar, and he thinks you
have an attitude problem. You should
probably start over and place a per
sonal ad for a sweet, earnest bottom
who values honesty and always tells
the truth.
just out 'dttn Calendar) • P O Box 14400 • Portland O R 97293 0400
Fax submissions to 503 23 6 1257 or e mail justout@ justout.com
Submissions cannot lie an epted over the phone • Please type yout announcements and include full contact information
D ear M r . F oster :
Thinking about a past gay act can
lead to arousal and perhaps a memory
of what one is missing while he clings
to a hyperheterosexual facade that
doesn’t fit. Is that what’s happening
for you?
In his letter “Formerly Gay”
expressed shame about his gay past.
Ms. Behavior merely suggested that
the notion that being queer is just
about “acting on it” is probably bound
up in religious ideas about sinning.
N o one suggested that “Formerly
G ay” was necessarily a follower of
Christianity.
This may come as a surprise, but
preferring sex with men is a fairly reli
able sign o f homosexuality. While
practice might result in greater enjoy
ment, most straight men do not need
to learn to like sex with women. (You
make heterosexual sex sound like as
much fun as learning to walk after a
head injury.)
You assume that a “real ex-gay”
would not write a “so-called lesbian"
for advice, but you apparently still
read gay publications. Perhaps you fol
low queer columns merely to write let
ters disputing what you read with the
hope of converting lost souls who can
he saved from a life of “hell.” Or is it
because you find the articles and pho
tographs in gay magazines arousing,
despite your so-called conversion?
Maybe some o f your anger comes
from the fact that you’re no longer
having sex with men. Maybe you
should come hack to the chains of
the gay plantation and see if you
really miss forcing yourself to date
women. j n
© Meryl Cohn 2004
ing and frlenda
outreach listings to:
though it was never men
tioned nor alluded to.
Secondly, any gay man
who has never had an
experience with a woman
will say, “Sex with men
was better.” OK, so let’s
compare years of sex with
men to a few rolls in the
hay with a woman.
Third, simply thinking
about a past gay act does
make one want to be gay.
But your juvenile com
ment demanded he immediately
plunge back into the hell he came
out of or get chained up on the gay
plantation again.
Fourth, a real ex-gay would not
write a so-called lesbian to get
advice on his now heterosexual
relationship. If that occurred he
wouldn’t be ex-gay, he’d be what
you would call a fool.
— Mr. Foster
D
e a r
M
s
. B
e h a v io r
:
Your fake “ex-gay” column was full
of holes [Dec. 19J. Stevie Wonder
could have seen the propaganda that
it was propped up on.
First, you jumped to the conclusion
that "Formerly Gay” was religious,
M eryl C ohn is the author of Do What
1 Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay
and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton
Mifflm). Signed copies are available
directly from the author. Send questions or
correspondence to msbehavint@aol.com.