______________________dflcam b* 13. 2003» J—
> « ^ ¡3 7
ADVICE
SPIRITUALITY
Metro: Spirituality
Ainsworth United Church of C hrist is a multiracial,
multicultural, open and affirming church Sunday worship is at
10 am. church school for children runs concurrently (2941 NE
Ainsworth St 503 284 8767 auccdteleport com.) (7/04)
Anawim Com m unity of gay men meets weekly for
Chnstian meditation and prayer (730 pm Thursday
503 2816722) (7/04)
B ridgeport U nited C hurch o f C h rist is a community
of progressive, political people exploring and celebrating the
Chnstian faith We are sexual mmonty and straight, m ulti
cultural and multiracial, and our children are valued mem
bers (10 30 am Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 503 2580992
www bndgeportucc o rg ) (7/04)
The C ity Church. Portland's 'o lde st gay affirming
Keshet Portland is a potluck group for Jewish members
of the sexual mmonties community and their partners, spous
es and supporters Its purpose is to help build bridges with
the larger Jewish community Monthly social, rekgious and
cultural events (David or Laney 503-226-7079. ext 14 )
(7/04)
Koinonia C atholic Com m unity >s a progressive, smal
faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate Euchanst
at Bridgeport United Church of Chnst A welcoming congre
gation. Catholic m tradition and Ecumenical m membersNp
(6pm Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 503 699 0473
www komoniacommumty org) (7/04)
Lasbian C hristian FaUoiwship meets for study and
social outings Committed Chnstians and s t l unsures
welcome (Barbara 503-760-5791 1(7/04)
Longview United M ethodist Church is welcoming
and reconciling (10 am Sunday 2851 30th Ave.
360-425-4927)( 7/04)
M etanoia Peace Community United M ethodist
C hurch is a 'house church* that bnngs gay and straight
Chnstian church,' offers a spint driven church for today's
diverse generations (W arn Sunday communion and wor
ship service. 6 30 pm Sunday worship service 3830 SE
62nd Ave 503-775 5024) (7/04)
together Daily morning prayer and Sunday evening worship
(503-281 3697 www tearsoup com/metanoia) (7/04)
C ongregation P 'nai O r (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
egalitarian. Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland Meets
several times a month at Portland State University Campus
M inistries (PO Box 42187. Portland. OR 97242 0187
503-248-4500 www pnaiorpdx org ) (7/04)
holds ecumenical Sunday mommg worship services at
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held during the
11 am service (2400 NE Broadway 503-2818868
mfodmccportland com www mccportland com ) (7/04)
Eastroee Fellow ship U nitarian U niversalist. a w el
coming congregation, offers Sunday service and children s
religious education (10 30 am Sunday 1133 NE 181st
Ave. Gresham 503 6652628 east rose dteleport com.
www eastrose o rg ) (7/04)
Faith U nited M ethodist C hurch is a welcoming com
mumty of Chnstians m Troutdale that values and encourages
all people m finding a place of belonging in the family of
God Sunday worship at 10:15 am; Adult Education at 9 am;
children and youth at 10 30 am Wednesday Prayers
6 6 30 pm. (27400 SE Stark St 503 661-4520)( 7/04)
F irst U nitarian C hurch of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offenng a wide range of
programs to nurture spintual growth, community and social
lustice Sunday service 9 and 11 am (1011 SW 12th Ave
503-2286389 www hrstumtananporttand org ) (7/04)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St Philip Nen
Catholic Church celebrates an affirm ing Mass followed by a
social (7 30 pm Fnday Pauhst Center. 2408 SE 16th Ave
503 231 4 9 5 5 ) (7/04)
Gay M editation Group is a casual, nonreligious group
for gay and tx men that meets to meditate together and
socialize (7 30 pm Tuesdays beginning Jan 6 Dean
Sidwell 503 997-6319 )17/04)
Gay Men's Labyrinth Project meets quarterly for a walking
meditation and wisdom arele on the labynnth (Dale
5032332026. ext 3 www ntedathspmtualcenter com.) (7/04)
M etropolitan Community C hurch of Portland
The N ichiren Buddhist Temple o f Portland offers
several weekly gathenngs Everyone welcome1 (10 am
Sunday. 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday 7 30 pm
Wednesday meditation 2025 SE Yamhill St 503-232-8064
www mchiren-shu org/porttand) (7/04)
N orthw est Tw o-Spirit Society of Portland welcomes
new members from the native LGBT (Two-Spints) community
to pm our counal and organize or attend monthly meetings
(Amanda 503 869-0076 thesebraidsdgo com ) (7/04)
Peace C hurch o f the B rethren is a welcoming
congregation. ( I I am Sunday 12727 SE Market St.
503 254 6 3 8 0 )( 7/04)
P ortland C enter fo r S p iritu a l G rowth is a center
for w orshp. growth and leadership that adheres to an
all inclusive spintual philosophy similar to 12 step, Unity
and Religious Science (503-777-0727.
www porttandcenter.org.) (7/04)
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with potkjeks
and circles at the full moon and the new moon Open to al men
seeking alternative spintual growth and community Coffee
hours start 9 30 am Saturdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse.
201 SE 12th Ave (5032350826 otterdpeez com 1(7/04)
Seventh-Day A dventist K inship is a support organize
tion for LGBT people, their families and fnends (PO Box
7320. Laguna Niguel. CA 92607-7320 866 732-5677.
ofhcedsdakmship org www sdakmship org 1(7/04)
chapel service. 10 am Sunday community worship service
12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton 503644 2073
staffdsouthmn com www southmm com. 1(7/04)
Sunday 806 NE AJbeita St 503 281 4429 ) (7/04)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been welcoming
all people since 1863 (12 10 pm Wednesday and 7 45 and
10 am Sunday Sunday school and child care at 10 am
1432 SW 13th Ave 503 223 6424 ) (7/04)
W averiy Heights UCC is open and affirming with wor
ship, children s school and chid care (10 am Sunday
3300 SE Woodward St 503 238 1337
www wavedyucc org. 1(7 /04)
W y'east U nitarian U niversalist Congregation is an
open and liberal rekgwus community offenng mtergenera
tional services and religious education for children, youth
and adults It welcomes gay. lesbian, bi and trans members
It nurtures spintual growth and promotes living by Unitarian
Universalist principles (4 pm Sunday. 5 pm m summer
3915 SE Steele St 503 777-3704
www wyeastpnwd uua o rg ) (7/04)
Zion U nited C hurch o f C h rist an open and affirm ing
congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, b . trans and hetero
sexual people who wish to worship m a Chnst-centered,
warm, canng. m ultiage/race/cultural faith community
( I t am Sunday 2025 N E 23rdA ve , Gresham
503665 8741 1(7/04)
Central Oregon: Spirituality
United C hurch o f C hrist C ongregational is an open
and affirming congregation m The Dalles (920 am adult
Sunday school. 1030 am Sunday worshp 111 E Fifth St-
541 2962909 ucccongKfoetcnct net
www formmstry com/usorucofcucocc 1(7/04)
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life C enter is A New Thought Community for
spintual awakening and transforming lives through love A
safe place where children learn to embody spintual pnnci
pies (W arn Sunday 10006 NE Ninth A v e . Vancouver
Rev Kathleen Vengm. 360573 2 6 2 6 )0 /0 4 )
East Vancouver U nited M ethodist C hurch is recon
cihng and welcoming (10 am Sunday 5701 MacArthur
Btvd 360693 4761)(7104)
First C ongregational Church United Church of Chnst.
In te g rity is a group of sexual mmonty Episcopalians and
friends Various locations throughout Oregon. (Bruce
groups, a drumming aide, workshops and classes Schedule of
events available A l women are welcome (Suite 102. 3430 SE
holds services m an open and affirming congregation (10 am
503 286 91 11 brucepdxorúattbi com
www mtegntyusa org.) (7/04)
Belmont St Mailing address PO Box 9246. Portland. OB
97207 5037363297 sisterspdtelepor1com)(7/04)
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spintual directors from
various world religious tradrtions. who are available for guidance,
classes and retreats (Second Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave
South m inster P resbyterian Church is an active mem
ber of the Community of Welcoming Congregations Sunday
school and nursery care Classes, community service actrvi
ties and events for all ages and interests (9 9 3 0 am Sunday
Sunday worship. 11 15 am adult education 1220 NE 68th
St . Vancouver 360693 1476 vanuccdacd com 1(7/04)
M etropolitan C om m unity C hurch o f the Gentle
Shepherd m Vancouver welcomes you. (1030 am and
6 30 pm Sunday worship. 9 am Sunday Bible study 2200
Broadway The Rev Harriet Barshofsky 360-695-1480)
(7/04)
M ichael Servetus
U nitarian U niversalist
Fellowship, a Welcoming
Congregation, provides a home
for the liberal religious spint
(930 and 11:15 am Sunday
4505 E 18th St.. Vancouver
360695 1891) (7/04)
Willamette Valley:
Spirituality
First Congregational
Church United Church of Chnst
is an open and affirming con
gregation offenng worship and
church school Chid care provided
and wheefeha* accessible
Haie Gallery continues its novel Battle of the Artist Curators through Dec. 31
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Flavors, a social support group fo r sexual m inority
youth o f color 21 and younger m eets on weekends fo r
food and socializing Regular events and a ctivitie s
Flavors is a project o f Love M akes a Fam ily's
M ultiQ ueer program and is supported by B rother to
B rother (Jaye 503-2263892 ¡ayeQimfamtly org 1 (7 /0 4 )
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network
(G LSEN ) fights to end antt-gey bias in K-12 schools
(12700 SW North DakotB St . Suite 180. »129. Tigard. OR
97223 503-5251177 glsendglsenoregon org
www glsenoregon.org) (7/04)
MultiQueer. a program o f Love Makes a Family, provides
advocacy to sexual mmonty youth. O ffers resource« and
support in the community and the school systems, with a
focus on support fo r LGBTQ youth of color (Jaye
503-2263892 ¡ayedtmfamdy org 1(7/04)
O utside In operates a c*m c fo r anyone w ho can t qual
ify fo r the O regon Health Plan as w e* as needle
exchange services that Include those who inject hor
m ones. Can provide tran#itionel housing fo r youth 20
(9 30 am Sunday learning hour.
1030 amworshp 700ManonSt
NE. Salem 503 363 3660) (7/04)
and younger as w ell as fo r those HIV+ and younger than
23 Needs volunteers o f all ages (10 am 6 pm Monday
Eastern Oregon: Youth
Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave. 503-535 3800
www outsidein.org) (7/04)
Eastern Oregon Canter for Independent Living
Sexual M inority Youth Reaource Center a pro
gram o f Cascadia Behavioral HealthCare. o ffe rs support
and recreation to gay. lesbian, b and trans youth 23 and
younger. O ffe rs drop-in com puter access, pool tables
and an Inform al place to hang out W eekly support meet
ings includes Trans Youth G roup and the creative group
Personal D eity Proxy (4 8 pm Monday and Wednesday.
4 pm rmdnight Friday and Saturday. 2100 SE Belmont
St 503-872 9664 TTY 503-231-9286 www smyre o rg )
O ther program s include C lackam as County Sexual
M inority Youth Connection (C O S M Y C ) provides
opportunities fo r queer and questioning youth ages 23
and younger to get together fo r free, fun and supportive
social a ctivitie s O ffers one-on-one support, referral«
and Inform ation on HIV and STD prevention and
resources fo r adults who w ork w ith LGBTQ youth.
(503-9690060 cosnrycyouthOye/hoo com ) P ride
Project bnngs together W ashington C ounty queer and
questioning youth to plan and attend m onthly sooal
events A lso inform ation, referral and advocacy services
m W ashington C ounty (M ofy 503 260-5792
m otydpndsprgpctorgJ (7/04)
Your boots were made for walkin’—
away from selfish lovers
St. Janies Lutheran Church a Reconciled m Chnst con
gregation. welcomes a l people for tracktional. kturgcal wor
stop vrfiere we experience God s reconcfng love that sets al
people free (9 and 11 am Sunday 1315 SW Park Ave
5032272439 www st/amestutheranportland org.) (7/04)
S isterS pirit offers women s spmtuakty celebrations discussxxi
5032332026. ext 3 www ntedaithspmtuatenter com.) (7/04)
Bad love
St. Andrew C atholic Church invites all to pm a
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship (930 am
offers support and advocacy to gey. lesbian, b . trans and
questioning youth xi Eastern Oregon (541-8893119 or
8662468369 eocfdeocd.org w w w eocdorg) (7/04)
Washington: Youth
Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy to gay.
lesbian, b . trans and questtonog youth xi Vancouver. Waah
Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays xi the basement of Youth House.
1112Colum baSt xiVm couver (John3606951325.)(7104)
D
ear
B e
M
s
h a v io r
.
:
I have a ques
tion I’ve been
dying to ask some
one, but it’s kind of
embarrassing. Is it
rude for someone
to just turn over
and go to sleep
after they have
been sexually
pleased, without
returning the
favor?
I don’t mean to sound naive,
but l have only been with three
women, and all of them have
done that to me at least half of
the times I have slept with them.
None of them were long-term
relationships, hut they were all
women who I dated for at least a
couple of months.
In each of these cases, I have
found myself lying in bed, frus
trated and staring at the ceiling,
while the woman snores peace
fully at my side. This isn’t the
way it happens in lesbian novels.
Am I doing something wrong,
Ms. Behavior? Next time it hap
pens, should I say something?
— N ovice at Love
D
ear
N
o v ic e
a t
L o
v e
:
It’s rude (and downright
unlesbian) to drift off into bliss
ful slumber mere moments after
coming without regard for the
person lying next to you. Surely
your sexual partners need to he
taught some manners or at least
trained to he better lovers.
Next time you find you’ve
been left high and dry watching
a selfish bottom sleep, start by
saying something direct like, “I
want to come, too.” If she
doesn’t respond, try touching
yourself.
If even that fails to arouse any
interest, lift one of your shoes
from the heap of clothing that
has been scattered on the flix>r
and hold it in the air near your
future-ex’s head. Smile sweetly
and say, “What about ME, you
self-centered wench?"
If this does not convince her
of the seriousness of her trans
gression and prompt her into
immediate action, do not smash
her with the shoe. Simply put it
on, along with the other one and
the rest of your clothing. Leave
(assuming it isn’t your apart
ment) and don’t lix>k hack.
am able to perform
sexually, and
everything’s been
going OK.
A few days ago,
out of nowhere,
Gretchen asked
me if I’ve ever
been with a man. I
was shocked that
she asked, so 1
denied it. She
seemed reassured,
but I feel guilty for
having lied to her.
Since then, I’ve been think
ing about my sexual experi
ences with men. In all honesty,
they were much more exciting
than my experiences with
women. I think 1 can live with
a not-so-exciting sex life in
exchange for marriage and
children, hut is it wrong for me
to not tell Gretchen about my
gay past?
I rationalize it by telling
myself that if I’m not acting on
it, there’s no reason to mention
it. What do you think?
— Form erly G ay
D
ear
F o
r m e r ly
G
ay
:
If you were comfortable with
yourself in your new “straight”
life, you probably wouldn’t need
to lie about the past or feel
ashamed about it.
The idea that being queer is
just about “acting on it” is proba
bly hound up in religious ideas
about sinning. But sexual orien
tation is not just about who you
screw. If you love men and long
to he near them and arc attract
ed to their scents and think
about sucking their dicks, can
you really think of yourself as
“straight” ?
You say you want an “easier
life,” hut, in reality, it’s only easi
er to he straight if you really are
straight. Pretending to be
straight or trying to “decide" to
he straight sounds like a sad
(and/or lazy) alternative to self
acceptance and being proud of
who you are.
Why don’t you start by com
ing out as “formerly gay” to a
therapist and then move on to
telling the woman you plan to
marry? Whether or not ytxj and
Gretchen decide to stay togeth
er, at least you’ll he making a
decision that’s based on the
tmth. j n
© Meryl Cohn 200)
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Tranagandar and Quo »honing
Youth Group for ages 13 to 18 offers support, informa
tion and fun in Eugene Free, confidential, adult facilitated
(Drop in 4-6 pm Fnday Amazon Community Center.
2700 Htyard St 541 -584-3486.) (7/04)
la sh Ion, Gay, M ssia al. Tranagandar Youth Group for
ages 25 and youigsr meets every Mondsy in Eugene. (5 pm.
Kohonti Center, 1414 IQncm i S t. 54134611)4J (7/04)
D
ear
M
s
. B e
h a v io r
:
I’m 28, and I used to he gay
hut decided to give it up a few
years ago. I’m not a homophobe;
I just wanted an easier life.
I’m engaged to marry
Gretchen, a woman I do love.
Our sex life isn’t thrilling, hut I
M
eryl
C
o h n
is
the authm o f
Do
What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide
to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette
(H ougfium M tfflm ). Signed copies
are available direedy from the author.
Send questions or correspondence to
m sbehauor@ aol.com .