ADVICE
................. ▼ ...................
Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist
Church is a "house church" that bnngs gay and straight
SPIRITUALITY
together Daily morning prayer and Sunday evening worship
(503-281 3697 www tearsoup com/metanoia > (7/04)
Metro: Spirituality
Ainsworth United Church of Christ s a multiracial,
multicultural, open and affirming church Sunday worship is at
10 am. church school for children runs concurrently (2941 NE
Ainsworth Si 503 284-8767 auccQteleport comJ (7/04)
Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for
Chnstian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm Thursday
503 281-0722) (7/04)
Bridgeport United Church of Christ s a community
of progressive, political people exploring and celebrating the
Chnstian faith. We are sexual minonty and straight, m ulti
cultural and multiracial, and our children are valued mem
bers (10 30 am Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 503-258-0992
www bndgeportucc o rg ) (7/04)
The City Church Portland s "oldest gay-affirming
Christian church," offers a spint-dnven church for today's
diverse generations (10 am Sunday communion and wor
ship service. 6 30 pm Sunday worship service 3830 SE
62nd Ave 503- 775-5024.) (7/04)
Congregation P'nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
egalitarian, Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland Meets
several times a month at Portland State University Campus
Mimstnes (PO Box 42187. Portland OR 97242-0187
503-248-4500 www pnatorpdx org ) (7/04)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist. a wel
coming congregation, offers Sunday service and children's
religious education (10 30 am Sunday 1133 NE 181st
A v e . Gresham 503-665-2628 eastrose&teleport com
www eastrose o rg ) (7/04)
Faith United Methodist Church s a welcoming com
munity of Chnstians in Troutdale that values and encourages
all people in finding a place of belonging in the family of
God Sunday worship at 1015 am; Adult Education at 9 am.
children and youth at 10 30 am Wednesday Prayers
6-6 30 pm (27400 SE Stark St 503 661-4520 ) 0 /0 4 )
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offering a wide range of
programs to nurture spintua! growth, community and social
justice Sunday service 9 and 11 am (1011 SW 12th Ave
503 228-6389 www hrstumtananportland org ) (7/04)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St Philip Nen
Catholic Church celebrates an affirming Mass followed by a
social (7 30 pm Friday Paulist Center. 2408 SE 16th Ave
503-231-4955) (7/04)
Gay Men's Labyrinth Project meets quarterly for a walking
meditation and wisdom circle on the labynnth (Date
503-233-2026. ext 3 www mterfaithspintualcenter com.) (7/04)
Integrity s a group of sexual minonty Episcopalians and
fnends Vanous locations throughout Oregon (Bruce
503-286 9111 bnicepdxor@attbi com
www mtegntyusa org.) (7/04)
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland holds
ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held during the
11 am service (2400 NE Broadway 503-2818868
infoQmccportland com www mccportland co m ) (7/04)
The Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland iffers
several weekly gathenngs Everyone welcome* (10 am
Sunday, 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday 7 3 0 pm
Wednesday meditation 2025 SE Yamhill St 503-232-8064
www mchiren-shu.org/portland) (7/04)
Northwest Two-Spirit Society of Portland .welcomes
new members from the native LGBT (Two-Spmts) community
to join our council and organize or attend monthly meetings
(Amanda 503-869-0076 thesebraids§go co m ) (7/04)
Peace Church of the Brethren
a welcoming congregation
(11am Sunday 12727 SE Market St 503-2546380) (7/04)
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth ; a center for
worship growth and leadership that adheres to an all-inclusive
spintual philosophy similar to 12-step, Unity and Religious
Science (503-777-0727 wwwportlandcenterorg)(7/04)
Portland Radical Faeries ■ eet twice a month with potlucks
and circles at the full moon and the new moon Open to all men
seeking alternative spintual growth and community Coffee
hours start 9 30 am Saturdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse,
201 SE 12thAve (503-2350826 otter&pcez com ) (7/04)
Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship - a support organiza
tion for LGBT people, their families and fnends (PO Box
7320. Laguna Niguel. CA 926077320 866-732-5677
office@sdahnship org www sdakmship o rg ) (7/04)
SisterSpirft offers women s spirituality celebrations, discussion
groups, a drumming circle, workshops and classes Schedule of
events available All women are welcome (Suite 102. 3430 SE
Belmont St Moling address PO Box 9246 Portland, OR 97207
503-736-3297 sistersp@teteportcom)(7/04)
Southminster Presbyterian Church is an active mem
ber of the Community of Welcoming Congregations Sunday
school and nursery care Classes, community service activi
ties and events for all ages and interests (9-9 30 am Sunday
chapel service. 10 am Sunday community worship service
12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton 503-644 2073
staffGsouthmm com www southmm com.) (7/04)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been welcoming
all people since 1863 (12 10 pm Wednesday and 7 45 and
10 am Sunday Sunday school and child care at 10 am
1432 SW 13th Ave 503 223 6 4 2 4)1 7/04)
ship, childrens school and child care (W arn Sunday
3300 SE Woodward St 503-238-1337
www waverlyucc o rg ) (7/04)
an
open and liberal religwus community offenng intergenerational
services and religious education for children, youth and adults
It welcomes gay lesbian bi and trans members It nurtures
spintual growth and promotes living by Umtanan Universalist
principles (4 pm Sunday 5 pm m summer 3915 SE Steele
St 503-777-3704 www wyeastpnwduuaorg.)(7/04)
Zion United Church of Christ an open and affirming
congregation, is open to gay lesbian bi. trans and heterosexu
al people who wish to worship in a Chnst-centered, warm car
ing, multiage/race/cultural faith community (11 am Sunday
2025 NE 23rd A v e . Gresham 503-665-8741) (7/04)
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life Center is A New Thought Community for
spintual awakening and transforming lives through love A
safe place where children learn to embody spintual pnnci-
ples (10 am Sunday 10006 NE Ninth Ave Vancouver
Rev Kathleen Vengin. 360 573-2626 H 7 104)
East Vancouver United Methodist Church s recon
cilmg and welcoming (10 am Sunday 5701 MacArthur
Blvd 360 693-4761) (T¡04)
First Congregational Church United Church of Chnst,
holds services in an open and affirm ing congregation
(10 am Sunday worship. 11 15 am adult education
1220 NE 68th S t . Vancouver 360 693 1476
vanuccQao! c o m ) (7/0 4 )
Metropolitan Community Church of the Gentle
Shepherd in Vancouver welcomes you (1030 am and
6 3 0 pm Sunday worship. 9 am Sunday Bible study 2200
Broadway The Rev Harriet Barshofsky 360-6951480)07/04)
Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation provides a home
for the liberal religious spirit (9 3 0 and 11 15 am Sunday
4505 E 18th S t . Vancouver 360-695-1891) (7/04)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship (9 3 0 am
Sunday 806 NE Alberta St 503 281 4 4 2 9 ) (7/04)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in Christ con
gregation welcomes all people for traditional, liturgical wor
ship where we experience God's reconciling love that sets all
people free (9 and 11 am Sunday 1315 SW Park Ave
503-227-2439 www st/ameslutheranportland o rg ) (7/04)
First Congregational Church United Church of Christ
is an open and affirm ing congregation offering worship and
church school Child care provided and wheelchair accessi
ble (9 30 am Sunday learning hour. 10 30 am worship 700
M anonSt NE. Salem 503-363 3 6 6 0 ) (7/04)
Keshet Portland is a potluck group for
Jewish members of the sexual minonties com
munity and their partners, spouses and sup
porters Its purpose is to help build bridges
with the larger Jewish community Monthly
social, religious and cultural events (David or
Laney 503-226- 7079. ext 14 H 7/04)
Koinonia Catholic Community s a
progressive, small faith community that
gathers weekly to celebrate Euchanst at
Bridgeport United Church of C hrist A w el
coming congregation, Catholic in tradition
and Ecumenical in membership (6 pm
Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 503-699-0473
www komomacommumty o rg ) (7/04)
Lesbian Christian Fellowship -eets
for study and social outings Committed
Chnstians and still-unsures welcome
(Barbara 503-760-5791)(7/04)
Longview United Methodist Church is
Victoria Kauffman documents the iconic Walt Disney Concert Hall at Brain Marki Fine Art
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Flavors i social support group fo r sexual m inonty youth of
color 21 and younger, meets on weekends for food and
socializing Regular events and activities. Flavors is a project
of Love Makes a Farmty s M ultiQueer program and « sup
ported by Brother to Brother (Jaye 503-228-3892.
¡ayeQtmfarmly org.) (7/04)
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network
(GLSEN) fights to end anti-gay bias in K -12 schools
(12700 SW North Dakota St . Suite 180. *129. Tigard. OR
97223 503-525-1177 glsenGgtsenoregon org
www glsenoregon org.) (7/04)
MultiQueer . program of Love Makes a Family provides
advocacy to sexual minority youth O ffers resources and
support m the community and the school systems with a
focus on support fo r LGBTQ youth of color. (Jaye
503 22 8 3 8 9 2 ¡ a y e to m M y org ) (7/04)
Outside la 'operates a ckmc for anyone who can t qualify
for the Oregon Health Plan as weB as needte exchange
services that include those who inject hormones Can pro
vide transitional housing fo r youth 20 and younger as well
as for thoee WV+ and younger than 23 Needs volunteers
of aB ages (10 a m 6 pm Monday Fnday 1132 SW 13th
Ave 5 0 3 5 3 5 3 8 0 0 www outsidem org.) (7/04)
Sexual M ino rity Youth Resource C en te r a pro
y a m of Cascadla Behavioral H ealthcare, o ffe ts support
and recreation to gay. lesbian, tu and trans youth 23 and
younger. O ffers drop-m com puter access, pool tables
and an inform al place to hang out W eekly support m eet
ings includes Trans Youth G roup and the creative group
Personal D eity Proxy (4 8 pm Monday and Wednesday.
4 pm-midnight Friday and Saturday 2100 SE Belmont
S t 503-872 9664 TTY 503-231 9286 www sm yreong)
O ther program s include: Clackam as County Sexual
M ino rity Youth Connection (C O S M Y C ) provides
opportunities fo r queer and questioning youth ages 23
and younger to get together fo r free, fun and supportive
social a ctivitie s O ffe rs one-on-one support, referrals
and inform ation on HIV and STD prevention and
resources for adults who w ork w ith LG 8TQ youth
(503 969-0060 cosmycyouthQyaboo com ) Pride
Project bnngs to g eth e r W ashington County queer and
questioning youth to plan and attend m onthly social
events. A lso inform ation, referral and advocacy services
in W ashington C ounty (Molly 503 260 5792
moílyf$pndepro¡ec t o r g ) (7 /0 4 )
Eastern Oregon: Youth
Eastern O regon Center for Independent Living
o ffers support and advocacy to gay. lesbian bi trans
Dating your friend’s ex? Got herpes
from your fling? Know when to talk.
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation
Interfaith Spiritual Center Houses
spintual directors from various worid reli
gious traditions, who are available for guid
anee, classes and retreats (Second Floor.
3910 SE 11th Ave 503-233-2026. ext 3
www mterfaithspintualcenter co m ) (7/04)
welcoming and reconciling (10 am Sunday
2851 30th Ave 360-425-4927.)(7/04)
To tell or not to tell
Waverly Heights UCC is open and affirming with wor
and questioning youth in Eastern O regon.
(541 889-3119 or 866-248 8369 e o c iG e o c ilo rg
www eocil org.) (7 /0 4 )
Washington: Youth
Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy to
gay lesbian, bi. trans and questionmq youth m Vancouver.
Wash M eets 6-8 pm Tuesdays m the basement of Youth
House, 1112 Columbia S t. in Vancouver (John
3 6 0 6 9 6 1 3 2 5 )1 7/04)
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender and
Q uestioning Youth Group fo r ages 13 to 18 o ffe rs
support, inform ation and fun m Eugene Free, confiden
tial. adult fa cilitated (Drop m 4 6 pm Fnday Amazon
Community Center. 2700 Htlyard St. 541 -684-3466)
(7 /0 4 )
Lesbian, Gay. Bisexual, Transgender Youth Group
for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday in Eugene
( 5 pm Komonta Canter. 14)4 Kmcaid St 541 346-1134)
(7/04)
M s .
B ehavio r :
I’ve had four
dates with Emily,
who’s the funni
est, most attrac
tive woman I’ve
been with in
years. O n our
third date, while
expressing her
fears about net
ting seriously
involved, she fold
me all about her
nasty ex, Karen, and their ugly
breakup.
I later figured out, through a
freaky anatomical detail Emily
happened to mention (a third
nipple), that Emily’s Karen is
the same Karen who’s in my
kx>k group. I really like Karen,
and we frequently go out for cof
fee after hook group. Now 1
remember Karen crying last year
over a breakup with a woman
she described as “abusive." I’m
sure it was Emily.
I haven’t told either of these
women that 1 know their exes. 1
don’t want to stop dating Emily,
and I don’t want to stop hanging
out with Karen, either. Do I
have to tell one or Kith of them
akm t the other? l\> I have to
stop spending time with one of
them?
—Confused
D
kar
tor a truly stress
ful moment to
make itself
known, hut I’m
very certain that
Jennifer, a
woman I had sex
with a long time
ago, had a cold
sore on her lip
before going
down on me, and
now I have geni
tal herpes. (I was
young at the time
and didn’t know that “cold
sores” were really herpes or that
you could get the disease
through oral sex.)
I sometimes run into
Jennifer at the gym, and we
make small talk. I’m thinking
akm t it now because ot a
painful outbreak.
I’d feel awkward akm t men
tioning the S T D she gave me,
hut maybe it’s the right thing to
do. What do you say?
— Wondering
D ear W o ndering :
Telling someone that she
gave you an S T D (or that you
gave her one) is the polite thing
to do.
People with herpes outbreaks
of any kind are frequently prone
to recurrences. It Jennifer hasn’t
yet learned through a health
class, a magazine article or
another irate lover that cold
D ear C onfused :
sores are actually herpes, your
Ultimately, you’ll probably he
disclosure to her could save
forced to choose between Emily
legions ot eager women— who
and Karen because you won’t he
think
they’re just getting a little
able to pull off being close with
head— from suffering a similar
Kith of these women who feel
painful outbreak.
betrayed by one another, and it
When you think akm t how
would feel creepy to lie or he
many sexual partners the un
secretive.
witting Jennifer might have in a
Tell each woman the truth
lifetime and how many people
aKiut your relationship with the
each of tht>se partners might
other. Since you’re excited
also have sex with and so on,
akm t your new romantic
your disclosure may ultimately
involvement with Emily (and
save dozens ot people from pass
you’re presumably not having
ing on “the gift that keeps on
sex with Karen), you’ll probably
chtxise Emily.
I giving."
Jennifer might initially he
You’ll find out soon enough
defensive— who likes to hear
if Emily is actually abusive. If
that they’ve given someone gen
she is, you'll dump her and run
ital herpes?— k it the informa
hack to Karen with lots of new
tion will still sink in. And, hope
material to discuss before and
fully, your opening your mouth
after the Kmk group.
will remind Jennifer to keep her
But he forewarned that peo
lips to herself next time she has
ple don’t usually change; Emily
an oral outbreak.
will probably whisper secrets
ak m t your freaky anatomical
© Meryl Cohn 200)
details to her next girlfriend.
jn
D ear M s . B ehavior :
Am I under any kind of
moral obligation to let someone
know she gave me herpes?
I know there’s no true way
of knowing, as herpes simplex
vims can lay dormant in the
k xly for a long time, waiting
M eryl Q min is the author of Do
What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s
Guide to Cray and Lesbian
Etiquette (Houghton Mifflin).
Signed copies are auuLihL' directly
from the author. Send questions or
correspondence to
mshehasvn<n)aol.com.