___________________________ novanta 2L.2Û03 | M t « t a 3 9
ADVICE
▼
SPIRITUALITY
Sunday evening worship (503 281 3697
www tearsoup com/metanoia 7 (7/0 4 )
Metro: Spirituality
M etropolitan Com m unity C hurch of
P ortland holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship
A insw orth United C hurch o f C h rist is a multi
services at 9 and 11 am Sunday school for children
is held dunng the 11 am service (2400 NE
racial, multicultural, open and affirm ing church.
Sunday worship is at 10 am; church school for chil
dren runs concurrently (2941 NE Ainsworth St
503 284 8767 auccdteleport com ) (7/04)
Ana w im Com m unity of gay men meets weekly
for Chnstian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm
Thursday 503 281-0722 7(7/04)
The C ity C hurch Portland's "oldest gay
affirm ing Chnstian church," offers a spirit driven
church fo r today's diverse generations (10 am
Sunday communion and worship service. 6 30 pm
Sunday worship service 3830 SE 62nd Ave
503 775-5024 ) (7/0 4 )
C o n g re g a tio n P 'n a i O r (Faces of Light) is a
vibrant, egalitanan. Jewish Renewal congregation in
Portland M eets several times a month at Portland
State University Campus Mmistnes (PO Box 42187.
Portland. OR 97242 0187 503 248 4500
www pnaiorpdx org ) (7/04)
Eastrose Fellow ship U nitarian U niversalist
a welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and
children s religious education (10 30 am Sunday
1133 NE l8 ls tA v e . Gresham 503 665-2628
eastrose&teleport com www eastrose org ) (7/04)
Faith U nited M ethodist C hurch is a welcoming
community of Chnstians in Troutdale that values and
encourages all people in finding a place of belonging
in the family of God Sunday worship at 10:15 am,
Adult Education at 9 am. children and youth at
10 30 am Wednesday Prayers 6 6 30 pm
(27400 SE Stark St 503 66 f -4520 7 (7/04)
F irst U nitarian C hurch of Portland is an open
and affirm ing liberal religious community offenng a
wide range of programs to nurture spintual growth,
community and social justice Sunday service 9 and
11 am (1011 SW 12th Ave 503 228-6389
www firstunitananportlandorg ) (7/04)
Gay Men's Labyrinth P roject meets quarterly
for a walking meditation and wisdom circle on the
labynnth (Dale 503 233 2026. ext 3
www mterfaithspintualcenter com ) (7/04)
In te g rity is a group of sexual mmonty Episcopalians
and friends Vanous locations throughout Oregon
(Bruce 50328691 I 1 brucepdxordattbi com
www.mtegntyusa.org.) (7/04)
In te rfa ith S p iritu a l C enter houses spintual
directors from vanous world religious traditions, who
are available for guidance, classes and retreats
(Second Floor. 3910 SE llth Ave 503-233 2026.
ext 3 www mterfaithspmtualcenter com.) (7/04)
Keshet P ortland is a potluck group for Jewish
members o f the sexual m inorities com m unity and
their partners, spouses and supporters Its purpose
is to help build bridges with the larger Jewish com
m unity M onthly social, religious and cultural
events (David or Laney 503-226-7079. ext 14 )
(7 /0 4 )
Broadway 503281 8868 mfoQmccportland com
www mccportland com 7 (7/04)
The N ichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland
offers several weekly gathenngs Everyone welcome1
(tO am Sunday. 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday
730 pm Wednesday meditation 2025 SE Yamhill St
503-2328064 www mchiren-shu org/portland ) ( 7/04)
N orthw est Tw o-S pirit S ociety o f Portland
welcomes new members from the native LGBT (Two-
Spints) community to pm our council and organize or
attend m onthly meetings (Amanda 503 869-0076
thesebraids&go com ) (7/04)
Peace C hurch o f the B rethren is a welcoming
congregation ( I I am Sunday 12727 SE Market St
503 254 6380 H I /04>
P ortland C enter fo r S p iritu a l G rowth is a
center for worship growth and leadership that
adheres to an all-inclusive spintual philosophy similar
to 12-step. Unity and Religious Science
(503- 777-0727 www portlandcenter org 7 (7/0 4 )
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month
with potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new
moon Open to all men seeking alternative spintual
growth and community Coffee hours start 9 30 am
Saturdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse, 201 SE 12th
Ave (503 235-0826 otterdpeez com ) (7/04)
Seventh-Day A dventist K inship is a support
organization fo r LGBT people, their families and
fnends (PO Box 7320. Laguna Niguel. CA 92607-
7320 866 732 5677 office&sdakmship org
www sdakmship org ) (7/04)
S iste rS p irit offers women's spmtuality celebrations,
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes Schedule of events available All women are
welcome (Suite 102. 3430 SE Belmont St Mailing
address PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207
503 736 3297 sisterspdleleport com ) (7/04)
S outhm inster P resbyterian C hurch is an
active member of the Community of Welcoming
Congregations Sunday school and nursery care
Classes, community service activities and events for
all ages and interests (9-930 am Sunday chapel
service. 10 am Sunday community worship service
12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton 503 644-2073
staffdsouthmm com www southmm com 7 (7/04)
St. Stephan's Episcopal Church has been we!
coming all people since 1863 ( 12 10 pm Wednesday
and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and
child care at 10 am 1432 SW 13th Ave
503-223 6424) (7/04)
W y'east U nitarian U niversalist
C ongregation is an open and liberal religious com
mumty offenng intergenerational services and rek
gious education for children, youth and adults It wel
comes gay. lesbian, bi and trans members It nur
tures spintual growth and promotes living by
Umtanan Universalist pnnciples (4 pm Sunday. 5 pm
in summer 3915 SE Steele St 503 777-3704
www wyeast pnwd uua org 7 (7/04)
Zion United Church of C hrist an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay lesbian, tx.
trans and heterosexual people who wish to worship
in a Chnst-centered, warm, canng m ultiage/race/cul-
tural faith community (11 am Sunday 2025 NE 23rd
Ave . Gresham 503-665 8741.) (7/0 4 )
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life C enter is A New Thought
Community for spintual awakening and transforming
lives through love A safe place where children learn
to embody spintual pnnciples ( 10 am Sunday
10006 NE Ninth Ave Vancouver Rev Kathleen
Vengm 360 573 2626 )(V 04)
East Vancouver U nited M ethodist Church is
reconciling and welcoming (10 am Sunday
5701 MacArthur Blvd 360 693 4761 7(7/04)
F irst Congregational C hurch United Church of
Chnst. holds services in an open and affirming con
gregation (10 am Sunday worship. 11 15 am adult
education 1220 NE 68th S t. Vancouver
360693 1476 vanuccdaol com.) (7/04)
M etropolitan Community Church o f the
Gentle Shepherd in Vancouver welcomes you
(10 30 am and 630 pm Sunday worship. 9 am
Sunday Bible study 2200 Broadway The Rev
Harriet Barshofsky 360 695 1480 7(7/04)
M ichael Servetus U nitarian U niversalist
Fellow ship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a
home for the liberal religious spmt (9 30 and
11 15 am Sunday 4505 E 18th St.. Vancouver
360-695-1891.)(T/04)
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in
Chnst congregation welcomes all people lor tradi
tional. liturgical worship where we expenence God s
reconciling love that sets all people free (9 and
11 am Sunday 1315 SW Park Ave 503 227 2439
www st/ameslutheranportland org 7 (7/04)
Lesbian C hristian
Fellow ship meets for study
F irst C ongregational Church United Church of
Chnst is an open and affirming congregation offenng
worship and church school Child care provided and
wheelchair accessible (9 30 am Sunday learning
hour, 1030 am worship 700 Manon St NE. Salem
503 363 3660) (7/04)
Three director«,
one Bertolt Brecht
in The Exception
and the Rule at
Lightbox Studio
and social outings Committed
Chnstians and still unsures
welcome (Barbara
503-7605791 7(7/04)
Longview U nited
M e th o d ist C hurch
is welcom ing and
reconciling (10 am
Sunday 2851 30th
Ave
360 425 4927)
(7 /0 4 )
M etanoia Peace
Community
U nited M ethodist
C hurch is a "house
church" that bnngs gay
and straight together Daily
morning prayer and
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Flavors a social support group for sexual mnonty
youth of color 21 and younger, meets on weekends for
food and socializing Regular events and activities
Flavors is a protect of Love Makes a Family s MuftKJueer
program and is supported by Brother to Brother (Jaye
503228-3892 or ¡ayedknfam4y.org) (7/04)
The Gay. Lesbian and Straight Education
N a tw o rh (GLSEN) fights to end antrgay bes n K-12
schools. (12700 SW North Dakota St . Suite 180.
*129 Tigard. OR 97223 5035251177
gfaendgTsenomqonorg www glsenoregon org 7 (7/04)
M uM Q u a a r a proyam of Love Makes a Fandy. pro
vides advocacy to sexual mmonty youth. Offers
resources and support in the commurvty and the school
systems, with a focus on support for LGBTQ youth of
color Uaye 5 05228-3892 or fayedknfarmfy org 7 (7/04)
Outs Ida In operates a d n e for anyone vdx> can't
quaMy for the Oregon Health Plan as w e l as needk
exchange services that include those who inject hor
mones Can provide transitional housing for youth 20
and younger as w e l as fo r those H fV* and younger
than 23 Needs volunteers o f a l ages (10am-6pm
Monday Friday 1132 SW 13th Arm 5035353800
wwwoutstdetn.org.) (7704)
Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center a
program o f Cascadw Behavioral Healthcare, offers
support and recreation to gay. lesbian, tx and trans
youth 23 and younger O ffers drop-in computer
access, pool tables and an informal place to hang out.
Weekly support m eetngs «eludes Trans Youth Group
and the creative group Personal Deity Proxy (4-8 pm
Monday and Wednesday. 4 pm-midnght Friday and
Saturday 2100 SE Belmont St. 503872-9664 TTY
503231 9286 www smyre o rg ) O ther programs
«dude Clack ernes County Sexuel Minority
Youth Connection (C O S M Y Q provides oppor
tunities for queer and queshonmg youth ages 23 and
younger to get together for free, fun and supportive
social activities O ffers one-on-one support, referrals
and «form ation on M V and STD prevention and
resources fo r addts who work with LGBTQ youth
bi. trans and questioning youth « Eastern Oregon.
(5418898119 or 866-2488369 eocrldeoal.org
www eoci.org. 7 (7/04)
Washington: Youth
Triple Point offers education, support and advo
cacy to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning
youth in Vancouver. W ash. M eets 6-8 pm
Tuesd
uesdaya in the basement of Youth House.
1112 Colum bia St. « Vancouver (John
3608901325.) (7 /0 4 )
(503 969-0060 coemycyouthOyahoocom.) P ride
Project brings together Washington County queer
Willamette Valley: Youth
and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly
social events Also «form ation, referral and advocacy
services « Washington County. (M oty 503 2605792
motyOpndepcofect org 7 (7/04)*
Gay. LeoM en, BL Transponder end
Questioning Youth Group for ages 13 to 18
Eastern Oregon: Youth
U vM p offers support and advocacy to gay. leabtan.
Sometimes it’s a bad idea;
then there are the other times
Sunday 3300 SE Woodward St 503 238 1337
www wavedyucc org 7 (7/04)
St. A ndrew C atholic C hurch invites all to p in a
(930 am Sunday 806 NE Alberta St
503 281 4429 ) ( 7/04)
Excommunicated
W averiy Heights UCC is open and affirm ing with
worship, children's school and child care (10 am
offers support, «form ation and fun n Eugene Free,
confidential adult fachteted (Drop In 4 8 pm Fndey
Amazon Commurvty Center. 2700 Htyerd St.
5 4 1 8843466 7 (7/04)
Leebien, Gey, M eexuel Transponder Y o u *
G roup fo r ages 2S and younger meets every
Monday in Eugene (5 pm Kanorva Center.
1414K fic a 4 & 5 4 1 -3 4 *IfJ 4 J (7 /0 4 )
I'te A R
Ms.
coming-out process. Make
sure to notify your parents
anytime you have a televi
sion appearance.
B e h a v io r :
A tew years ago, 1
came out to my family
about being gay. My
parents are still some
what furious; they call it
“destroying the family
D e a r M s . B e h a v io r :
name."
I had explained to
them that, while o ff in
college, I had some
thing serious happen
to me. I had hoped
by M8ryl
that they would sup
port me while I was
seeking therapy about being raped.
O f course, they think it was a situa
tion that I caused.
N ow that 1 am older and made up
in my mind that 1 am happy being with
a guy, they refuse to talk to me. 1 was
told by them not to visit when I come
hack home from schix)l.
I have other family members to visit,
hut I would like to he able to visit my
parents and my siblings when 1 come
home for the holidays. W hat should I
do? Respect their
wishes and not visit
or just say the hell
with it? I need your
help.
— Lovable Noel
I’m a long-term member
o f a lesbian poetry group.
W e meet twice a month to
share our inspiration and
our writing.
Through the years a
woman named Dora has
Cohn
shown up several times.
Each time she comes, she
brings a bundle o f lesbian sonnets and
asks for our feedback. W e politely sit
and listen and carefully critique her
work.
T h e pœrns are mediocre, hut that’s
not the problem. Dora never recipro*
cates by offering suggestions to others;
she never even comes to the group
unless she needs feedback on her own
work. In fact, the last time Dora did
this, we implemented a new rule requir
ing new members to come and listen at
least five times
before reading
their work.
Dora recently
allied and asked
me for directions
to our new loca
tion, so I know
she’s planning a
comeback. I may
he the only mem
ber still in the
group who knows
about Dora’s past
Ms. Behavior
D ear L o vab le
N o e l :
I f they
blame you
for being raped
and w on’t
talk to you
or let you visit
because y o u ’r e gay,
they have problems
so serious that
they should have
their own
reality T V show
If saying “ the
hell with it” means
just showing up at
your parents’ dtxir
with your gtxxJ
wishes and a holi
day fmitcake, it
dix'sn’t seem like a
gixxJ idea.
Your parents
don’t seem ready to
welcome or support
you, which is quite sad and also their
problem. If they blame you for being
raped and won’t talk to you or let you
visit because you’re gay, they have
problems so serious that they should
have their own reality T V show.
Unfortunately, your parents are
unlikely to get help for themselves, hut
it’s gixxl that you’ve sought therapy, at
least to deal with the trauma o f having
been raped. Spend time with other
family members who’d like to see you,
including your siblings if they’re open
to visiting with yixj away from your
parents’ house.
Send a holiday card letting your
parents know that you care ahxit them
and hope to he able to spend future
holidays with them. It’s best to leave
the door open to the possibility o f a
reconciliation someday; some people do
eventually have a spiritual awakening
(or an aneurysm) that makes them real
ize life is short.
In the meantime, try to develop
relationships with your extended family
and yixir friends. And someday, when
you’re in the nruxxl, write and puhlush a
book about your childhixxl and your
history. Should I
warn everyone?
Should I try to
prevent D ira from
once again dump
ing her pxx;ms on
us and then leav
ing? I worry that she’ll get mad.
— Fed Up
D ear F ed Ur:
Selfish participants in groups (like
selfish lovers) need to he stopped, even
if you need to shame them. If Dora
shows up and expects everyone to
respond to her work, let her know that
her past participation led to a new mle
that helped the group to better define
itself. Then explain that the new mle
requires each pœ t to come five times
before reading her poetry.
W h o cares if Dora gets mad? W h at’s
she going to do? Throw a chair? Maybe
she’ll think you’re mean and she’ll write
a poem akxjt you. Either way, it seems
better than having to sit through an
evening o f kxisy lesbian sonnets. JH*1
© Meryl Cohn 2003
M eryl C oh n is the author o f D o W hat I
Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and
Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton Mifflm).
Signed copies are available dtreedy from
the author. Send questions or
correspondence to msbehavxnfàaol com.