October 17.2003
ADVICE
SPIRITUALITY
Metro: Spirituality
A insw orth U nited C hurch o f C h rist is a
multiracial, m ulticultural, open and affirm ing church
Sunday vnorship is at 10 am; church school for
children runs concurrently (2941 NE Ainsworth St
503-284 8767 auccQteieport com) (7/0 4 )
Anawim Com m unity of gay men meets weekly
for Chnstian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm
Thursday 503-281 0722 ) (7/03)
A tkinson M em orial C hurch is a Umtanan
Uroversakst welcoming congregation in Oregon
C ity (710 Sixth St 503 656-7296 w w w atkm-
sonchurch com. 7(7/03)
B ridgeport U nited C hurch o f C h rist is a
community of progressive, political people explor
mg and celebrating the Chnstian faith We are
sexual mmonty and straight, m ulticultural and multi
racial, and our children are valued members.
(1030 am Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave
503 2580992 www bndgeportucc org.) (7/0 3 )
The C ity Church Portland's "oldest gay-affirming
Chnstian church." offers a spint-dnven church for
today s diverse generations (10 am Sunday commu
nion and worship service. 630 pm Sunday worship
service. 3830 SE 62nd Ave 503 775-5024.) (7/04)
Congregation Neveh Shalom an open and
progressive Conservative Jewish synagogue,
extends a warm welcome to all sexual m inorities
Shabbat services 8 :15 pm Friday and 9 am
Saturday (2900 SW Peaceful Lane
503 246 8831.) (7/03)
Congregation P'nai O r (Faces of Light) is a
vibrant, egalitarian. Jewish Flenewal congregation in
Portland Meets several times a month m various
locations (PO Box 42187. Portland. OB 97242-0187.
503-248-4500 www pnaxxpdx org ) (7/03)
D ignity P ortland meets for Mass on Sundays
(503-262-6947 7 (7/03)
Eastroee Fellowship U nitarian U niversalist a
welcommg congregation, offers Sunday service and
chkdren s rekgxxis education. (1030 am Sunday
1133 NE 181st Ave . Gresham 503665-2628
eastroseúteleporl com www eastrose org 7 (7/04)
Faith U nited M ethodist C hurch is a welcom
ing community of Chnstians m Troutdale that val
ues and encourages all people in finding a place of
belonging in the family of God Sunday worship at
10:15 am; Adult Education at 9 am: children and
youth at 10 30 am Wednesday Prayers 6-6:30 pm
(27400 SE Stark St 503 661-4520 ) (7/0 3 )
are available for guidance, classes and retreats
St. Andrew C atholic Church invites a* to join
(Second Floor 3910 SE 11th Ave 503233-2026.
ext 3 www mterfaithspintualcenter com. 7 (7/04)
a diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship
K sshst P ortland is a group for Jewish members
of the sexual mmonties community and their part
ners. spouses and supporters M onthly social rek
gtous and cultural events (David or Laney
503 226 7079. ext 14 7(7/03)
Koinonia C atholic Com m unity is a progres
sive. small faith community that gathers weekly to
celebrate Euchanst at Bridgeport United Church of
Chnst A welcoming congregation. Catholic in tradi
tion and Ecumenical in membership
(6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 503-699-0473
www komoniacommunity org ) (7/03)
Lasbian C hristian Fellowship meets for study
and social outings Committed Chnstians and still
unsures welcome (Barbara 503 760-5791 7(7/04)
Longview United M ethodist C hurch is wel
coming and reconciling (10 am Sunday 2851 30th
Ave 36(7-425 4927 7(7/03)
Meta no ia Peace Community United
M ethodist Church is a ‘ house church" that
bnngs gay and straight together Daily morning
prayer and Sunday evening worship (503281 3697
www tearsoup com/metanoia ) (7/04)
M etropolitan Community Church of Portland
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held dunng
the 11 am worship service (2400 NE Broadway
503-281-8868 mfo&mccportland com ) (7/03)
The N ichiren B uddhist Temple o f Portland
offers several weekly gathenngs Everyone wel
come! (10 am Sunday. 730 am Tuesday and
Thursday 7:30 pm Wednesday meditation
2025 SE Yamhill St 503 2328064
www nichiren shu org/portland 7 (7/0 4 )
Peace C hurch o f the B rethren is a welcom
mg congregation (I I am Sunday 12727 SE
Market St. 503 254 6380 .7 (7/04)
P ortland C enter fo r S p iritu a l G row th is a
New Thought, uplifting, refreshing and exciting
place of worship Become a m inister in our mtmste
nal program (10 am Sunday Call for location
503 7/7-0727.7(7/03)
P ortland Church o f R eligious Science is a
liberal, open, progressive New Thought community
welcoming everyone to discover the spirit within
Change your thinking, change your life 1 (10 am
Sunday meditation. 10 30 am service and /umor
church. 6 30 pm Wednesday prayer circle
3983 NE 112th Ave 503261 0 6 7 77 (7 /0 3)
P ortland R adical Faeries meet tw ice a
F irst U nitarian C hurch o f Portland is an open
and affirm ing liberal religious community offenng a
wide range of programs to nurture spmtual growth,
community and social (ustice Sunday service 9 and
11 am. (1011 SW 12th Ave 503 2286389.
www firstunitananportland org.) (7/0 3 )
month w ith potlucks and circles at the full moon
and the new moon Open to all men seeking alter
native spintual growth and community. Coffee
hours start 9 30 am Saturdays at 3 Friends
Coffeehouse. 201 SE 12th Ave (503 235 0826
otterOpce? com.) (7/0 4 )
First United Methodist Church of Portland, a
welcoming and reconciling congregation, believes no
one is left out m God s family Sexual mmonty potlucks
held monthly (10 30 am Sunday 1838 SW Jefferson
St 503228-3195 www fumcpdx org ) (7/03)
Seventh-Day A dventist K inship is a support
organization for LGBT people, their families and
fnends (PO Box 7320. Laguna Niguel. CA 92607-
Gay and Lesbian O utreach (GALO ) of St
S iste rS p irit offers women's spmtuality celebra
Philip Nen Catholic Church celebrates an affirm ing
Mass followed by a social. (7 30 pm Friday Paulist
Center. 2408 SE 16th Ave 503 231 4955 7 (7/0 3 )
tions. discussion groups, a drumming circle, work
shops and classes Schedule of events available All
women are welcome (Suite 102, 3430 SE Belmont
Gay M en's Labyrinth P ro je ct meets quarterly
St Mailing address: PO Box 9246. Portland. OR
97207 503-7363297 sistersp&telepod com )
for a walking meditation and wisdom circle on the
labynnth (Date 503233 2026. ext 3
www mterfaithspintualcenter com. 7(7/04)
Integrity is a group of sexual mmonty
Episcopalians and fnends Various locations through
out Oregon (Bruce Mason 503-286-9111. bm-
cepdxonSattfx com www mtegntyusa org 7 (7/04)
Interfaith S p iritual C enter houses spintual
directors from various world religious traditions, who
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Flavors a social support group fo r sexual m inor
ity youth o f color 21 and younger, m eets on
weekends for food and socializing Regular events
and activities Flavors is a project of Love Makes
a Family's M ultiQueer program and is supported
by Brother to Brother (Jaye 503-228-3892 o r
jayeOImfamily org 7 (7/0 4 )
The Gay, Lesbian and S traight Education
N etw ork (GLSEN) lights to end antigay bias in
K-12 schools (12700 SW North Dakota St..
Suite 180. »129. Tigard. OR 97223.
503 525-1177 glsenOglsenoregon org.
www glsenoregon.org. 7 (7/0 4 )
M ultiQ ueer. a program o f Love Makea a Family,
provides advocacy to sexual m inority youth O ffers
resources and support m the community and the
school systems, with a focus on support for
LG8TQ youth o f color (Jaye 503-228-3892 or
teye&mfamfy org) (7/04)
O utside In operates a cfenc fo r anyone who
can't qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as we* as
needte exchange services that Include those who
n je ct hormones. Can provide transitional housing
for youth 20 and younger as we* as fo r those
HIV* and younger than 23. Needs volunteers o f a*
ages (10 am-6 pm Monday Friday 1132 SW 13th
Ave. 503-5353800 www.outsidem otg.H7/04 )
7320 866-732 5677 ofhceQsdakmship org
www sdakmship org ) (7/04)
(7/04)
Southm inster Presbyterian Church is an active
member of the Community of Welcoming
Congregations Sunday school and nursery care
Classes, community service activities and events for
all ages and interests (9-9 30 am Sunday chapel see
vice. 10 am Sunday community worship service
12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton 503-644 2073
stafMhouthmn com www southmm com) (7/04)
(930 am Sunday 806 NE Alberta St
503281 4429 H7/03)
St. Jame« Lutheran Church a Reconciled m
Chnst congregation, welcomes a* people for tradition
al. Iitunycal worshp where we experience God's rec
oncikng love that sets a l people free (9 and II am
Sunday 1315 SW Park Ave 503-227-2439) (7/03)
St. Stephen'« Episcopal C hurch has been
welcoming all people since 1863 (12 10 pm
Wednesday and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday
school and child care at 10 am Southwest 13th
Avenue at Clay Street 503 223 6424 7 (7/03)
Trinity United M ethodist Church is an open
Chnstian community where faith and life intersect All
invited1 (10 30 am Sunday 3915 SE Steele St. The
Rev Wendy Joy Woodworth 503-777-3901 7(7/03)
W averly Height« UCC is open and affirming
with worship, children's school and childcare
(10 am Sunday 3300 SE Woodward St
503-238 1337 www wavertyucc org 7(7/04)
W y'eest U nitarian U niversalist
Congregation is an open and liberal rekgnus
community offenng mtergeneratxxial services and
rekgious education for children K welcomes gay. les
bian, bi and trans members Nurtures spintual
growth and promotes living by Unitarian Umversafcst
pnnciples (4 pm Sunday 3915 SE Steele St
503-777-3704 www wyeastpnwduua org ) (7/03)
Zion United Church of C hrist an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi,
trans and heterosexual people who wish to worship *i
a Chnst centered, warm, canng. multiage/race/cultur
al faith community ( II am Sunday 2025 NE 23rd
Ave. Gresham 503665-8741 7(7/03)
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life Center is A New Thought
Community for spintual awakening and transforming
kves through love A safe place where children learn to
embody spintual pnncples (I0 am Sunday 10006 NE
Ninth Ave Vancouver 360-573-26267(7/03)
East Vancouver United M ethodist Church is
reconciling and welcoming (10 am Sunday
5701 MacArthur Btvd 3606934761 ourclarkcoun-
ty Columbian com/273/.H7103)
F irst C ongregational Church United Church
of Chnst. holds services m an open and affirming
congregation. (10 am Sunday worship. 11 15 am
adult education 1220NE 68th St . Vancouver
360 693 1476 vanucc9aolcom.) (7/0 4 )
M etropolitan Com m unity Church o f the
Gentle Shepherd in Vancouver welcomes you.
(1030 am and 630 pm Sunday worship. 9 am
Sunday Bible study. 2200 Broadway The Rev
Harriet Barshofsky 360 695 1480 ) (7/03)
M ichael Servetu« U nitarian U niversalist
Fellow ship a Welcoming Congregation, provides
a home for the liberal religious spmt (9 15 and
11 am Sunday 4505 E 18th St.. Vancouver
360-695 -1 891.) (7/03)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
F irst C ongregational Church United Church
of Chnst is an open and affirming congregation
offenng worship and church scliool Child care pro
vided and wheelchair accessible (9 am Sunday
learning hour. 10 am worship 700 Manon St NE.
Salem 503 363 3660 7 (7/03)
Momingside United Methodist Church is a
reconciling congregation where everyone is welcome
to participate in the full kfe of the congregation (830
and II am Sunday 3674 12th St SE. Salem
503364 5013
mm
Sexual M in o rity Youth R esource
C enter, a program o f Cascadia Behavioral
advocacy to gay. lesbian, bi, trans and ques
tioning youth m Eastern O regon (5 4 1 8893119
H ealthcare, o ffers support and recreation to
gay. lesbian, bi and trans youth 23 and 'younger.
O ffers drop-in com puter access, pool tables and
an Inform al place to hang out W eekly support
m eetings includes Trans Youth G roup and the
creative group Personal D eity Proxy. (4-8 pm
or 866 248-8369 eocilQeoal org.
www eocil org 7 (7 /0 4 )
Monday and Wednesday. 4 pm-midnight Friday
and Saturday 2100 SE Belmont St
503-872-9664 TTY 503-231-9286
www smyrc.org.) O ther program s include
C lackam as C ounty Sexual M in o rity
Youth C onnection (C O SM YC ) provides
opportunities fo r queer and questioning youth
ages 23 and younger to get together fo r free,
fun and supportive social activities O ffers one-
on-one support, referrals and inform ation on HIV
and STD prevention and resources fo r adults
who w ork w ith LGBTQ youth (503 9690060.
co$mycyouth9yahoo.com ) P rid e P ro je c t
bnngs together W ashington County queer and
questioning youth to plan and attend m onthly
social events. Also inform ation, referral and
advocacy services m W ashington C ounty (Molly
503-260-5792 molly9pndeprotect org 7 (7 /0 4 )
Washington: Youth
Triple P oint offers education, support and advo
cacy to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning
youth m Vancouver. Wash Meets 6-8 pm
Tuesdays in the basement of Youth House.
1112 Columbia S t In Vancouver. (John
360-695 1325.) d m
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gay, Lesbian, B i, Transgender and
Q uestioning Youth Group lor ages 13 to 18
offers support, information and fun m Eugene.
Free, confidential, adult-facilitated (Drop m 4 6 pm
Friday Amazon Community Center. 2700 FUyatd
St. 541684 3466 ) (7/04)
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender
Youth Group for ages 25 and younger meets
every Monday in Eugene (5 pm. Komorna Canter.
1414 Kincaki S t 541-346-1134 H im
Eastern Oregon: Youth
Rainbow Youth o f Salem for kids 21 and
younger meets twice weekly. (6-8 pm Tuesday.
Eastern Oregon Canter for
Independent Living o ffe rs support and
4 6 pm Thursday 600 State Si. D m
503 930-7260 H 7/03)
........ H ..............
Strange behavior
Sometimes you are a nut,
sometimes you’re not
13 ear Ms. B ehavior :
My anti-virus software
recently located a virus on
my computer that my
boyfriend, Jonathan, acciden
tally downloaded. Jonathan
was very sheepish and a polo-
ire tic, since this particular bug
is only activated by visiting
porno sites.
I had the computer fixed
and now it works fine. I’m
not mad at Jonathan for sign
ing on to pom sites, hut I’m
disturbed that he got the vims from a het-
ero pom site.
Why would my boyfriend get off on
straight porno? I’m not saying he should
he repelled by straight people screwing,
hut why would he seek it out? Docs this
mean something?
— Jonathan's Confused Boyfriend
D ear J o n a th a n ’ s C onfused B oyfriend :
Oh, come on. You’re not worried that
your boyfriend is a closet hetero, are you?
You know the range of human sexual
expression is vast. You know that curiosity
or fascination or even excitement at
watching hetero coupling means nothing.
Lots of men who consider themselves
straight occasionally have gay fantasies or
stop and get a blow job from another guy on
their way home from a king, hard day at the
office. (In fact, some readers would have Ms.
Behavior believe that’s what most straight
dudes do for relaxation.) So
why can’t a homo (OK, your
boyfriend) watch a man and
a woman do the nasty with
out you getting your panties
in a twist?
If Jonathan were getting
off on watching illegal or
immoral acts (e.g., people
hurting children or ani
mals) or just plain gross
ones (please fill in the
blank yourself, because Ms.
Behavior doesn’t want
indignant mail from cow
manure fetishists), you
might have reason to dial 911 or at least
worry about visiting Jonathan in the slam
mer after his computer is seized and
searched.
If you’re truly concerned that his
watching a little guy/girl copulation
means he’ll end up eloping with the girl
next dexir, you might bring it up as a topic
of conversation. But the Internet peep
show was probably just an exciting novel
ty for your still-queer-as-ever boyfriend.
was in classes and Barbara’s
husband was at work. 1 know
Fran was telling the truth,
because she told me all kinds
of disgusting details about
Barbara’s sex toys.
Isn’t this the worst betray
al yixj’ve ever heard? What
kind of person fucks her
friend’s mother? Should I tell
Theresa what Fran told me?
—Concerned Friend
D ear C oncerned F riend :
A person who fucks her friend’s mother
is probably quite twisted and/or sexually
compulsive. She needs help hut probably
not from you. It also seems unlikely that
you can help or control the situation by
playing tattletale.
Is there any reason, other than vindic
tiveness, that you’d get involved? Would it
really help Theresa to know that her
mother had sex with Fran?
Ultimately, Fran will slip up and lose
Theresa as a friend. Motherfuckers always
get caught eventually.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
I’m responding to your recent column
about a woman in doubt about her “fag hag”
status. Though I have learned to live with
the negative connotation of being labeled a
fag hag— there isn’t a positive term for a
straight woman who prefers the company of
gay men— I do take exception to the label of
“pathetic" when describing a
str,light woman who makes
a life choice.
All the important peo
ple in my life are gay. My
first relationships devel
oped when I was a young
and naive 18 and continue
to the present, as a 55
year-old. There are no
guidebtx>ks to address this
lifestyle, hut I would not
have wanted to live any
other way. I still have
some friends I made in
those early years and trea
sure the depth and beauty of those rela
tionships. And 1 continue to make new
friends— gay and straight.
I have poked around in my psyche to
determine possible reasons and will perhaps
agree to some “intimacy issues." And there
was, at the beginning, something to he said
for that statement by Roseanne: “If it
weren’t for gay men, who would fat women
dance with?"
So, this aging fag hag diva will contin
ue to happily pursue her life and hope
there will someday he a more positive
recognition for this alternative-alternative
lifestyle.
— m l
Tm not mad
at Jonathan
for signing
on to porn
sites but
rm disturbed
he got the
virus from a
hetero site
D ear M s . B ehavior :
How do you know whether to betray a
friend’s secret? My friend Fran told me
something horrible. She recently went to
visit our mutual friend Theresa in another
state. Theresa lives in an attic apartment
above her parents because she is a grad stu
dent and can’t afford her own place.
Recently, Fran told me that during her
last visit, she went out drinking with
Theresa’s mother, Barbara, and ended up
having sex with her! They continued
their affair all week long while Theresa
,
jn
© Meryl Cohn 2003
MERYL COHN is the author of Do What I Say:
Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and I-eshian
Etiquette (Houghton Mifflm). Signed copies
are available directly from the author. Send
questions or correspondence to
msbehavurdSaol. com.