Just out., October 17, 2003, Page 16, Image 16

12.2001
16
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L ifting
the
V eil
Portland's progressive religious community seeks
to untie the knot of sacred and civil marriage by Timothy Krause
PHOTO BY
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Faith leaders address the differences between civil marriage and religious marriage during the
“Beyond the Veil” forum O ct. 14 at First U nited M ethodist C hurch
espite long-standing separation o f
church and state, marriage in the
United States remains a wedding
o f rights and rites.
Clergy unite in spiritual marriage
whomever they wish, hut hy law convey upon only
opposite-sex couples more than 1,000 federal pro­
tections and responsibilities that accompany civil
marriages. In the growing demand to extend these
benefits to same-sex partners, activists have begun
to seek a clearer division between the sacred and
the secular as a commonsense strategy toward
equal marriage rights for all.
In Portland, a forum titled “Beyond the Veil:
Faith and Civil Rights” brought together mem­
bers o f Portland’s progressive spiritual community
to address implications of such separation. About
60 people gathered O ct. 14 at First United
Methixlist Church in an initiative that grew out
of June’s Love Welcomes All conference, includ­
ing representatives from Love Makes a Family,
Rose City Presbyterian Church and Portland Par­
ents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.
Roey Thorpe, Basic Rights Oregon execu­
tive director, observed how recent events, such
as the removal of sodomy laws in the United
States and Canada’s recognition of same-sex
marriage, have dominated not only national
politics hut also the local spiritual community,
where opinions remain divided when it comes
to gay marriage. According to the Community
of W elcoming Congregations, which represents
4^ communities of faith, among its members
that regularly conduct commitment ceremonies,
only about one-third actually call it “marriage.”
But among forum organizers, that distinction of
“marriage” is important. Full and equal civil mar­
riage rights for same-sex couples must he the goal
because civil unions, such as Vennont’s, remain
discriminatory. “Separate is not equal,” attendees
reminded each other, noting how civil unioas are
not recognized federally, nor hy many states.
Attorney Scott Sorensen-Jolink described
some matters at stake. From taxes to estate plan­
ning, same-sex relationships are seen in courts
every day, hut protections generally are sought
through costly contractual arrangements, in con­
trast to those recognized automatically hy marriage.
“Marriage is many things to many people, hut
it is also a legal institution in which governmen­
tal discrimination has no place,” stated a handout
from Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders, a
Boston-based organization involved with the
same-sex marriage test case before the Massachu­
setts Supreme Judicial Court. “A major myth
about ending discrimination ip civil marriage is
that it will somehow compel religious faiths to
change their doctrine or practices about who they
marry. This is flatly incorrect. We have freedom
of religion in this country. W hen a court or legis­
lature ends discrimination in civil (governmen­
tal) marriage, there is no compulsory impact on
any faith. Each faith is— and will remain— free to
define its own requirements for its marriage rite."
Backlash has been building among right-
wing conservatives, including President Bush,
who proclaimed O ct. 12 to 18 as “Marriage Pro­
tection W eek."
“1 believe in the sanctity of marriage. I believe
a marriage is between a man and a woman. And
1 think we ought to axlify that one way or anoth­
er. And we’ve got lawyers kxiking at the best way
to do that,” Bush said at a July press conference.
Backing him is the religious right wing,
including Fix:us on the Family, the national fun­
damentalist organization that presented an “e x ­
gay” conference last June in Clackamas. G lenn
Stanton, senior policy analyst for Focus, said
that stopping gay marriage “is the only game in
town for us. It is such a huge issue.”
Because opponents frame the debate largely
around moral issues with religious nxits, forum
organizers recognize that a groundswell of sup­
porters is what will effectively forward the cause
hy creating change from within.
G lenna Shepherd, Metropolitan Community
Church of Portland pastor, joined three congre­
gants to share historical testimony of how people
of faith helped churches act as instruments of
social change. They highlighted the role of reli­
gion in social work of the Rev. Martin Luther
King Jr. regarding civil rights, Dorothy Day and
labor issues, Frederick Douglass and slavery, and
Frances Willard about women’s suffrage.
“W e mustn’t let the authority of the church
undermine the calling of the church,” confirmed
the Rev. Tara Wilkins of Ainsworth United
Church of Christ. T he first step, she said, is to
“remove the veil” that can mask discrimination.
Visiting a same-sex couple or attending a
com m itm ent ceremony, for example, PFLAG
mom Ginny Laferriere said she often remarked
how similar everything was to heterosexual
counterparts. Even as a straight ally, she added,
she didn’t immediately notice inequities.
While simply talking about the issue was the
fundamental action recommended by Fkinnie
Tinker of Love Makes a Family and Joyce Lilje-
holm of the Oregon Safe ScFuxils and Com m u­
nities Coalition, they also offered “next steps”
for communities o f faith. For example, congre­
gations can make marriage ceremony practices
identical for all couples, or clergy might perform
only spiritual marriages, having couples seek
civil marriages independently J H
For m ore inform ation, including a full listing o f
faith com munity actions to support m arriage
equality, contact B ask : R ights O rec « on at
5 0 3 -2 2 2 '6 l5 1 or teute. hasicrights.org.