Just out., July 18, 2003, Page 17, Image 17

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veryone who comes out of the closet
faces unique challenges. But just for a
|moment, imagine having to sit down
V
with an elderly parent over dinner
and say that after 25-plus years of
marriage, you have come to a realization: You
are gay.
Then imagine also having to tell your chil­
dren, a daughter, now 30, and a son, now 24.
Then facing the task of dismantling a life built
with your wife. Then having to face the
prospects of your peers in the conservative world
of insurance finding out.
More importantly, imagine being in your 50s,
and simply starting life all over again.
Welcome to the world of Bill Findlay. He is a
highly successful businessman, a dedicated and
passionate volunteer and a man who has found
great inspiration from those closest to him.
“Everyone has been incredibly supportive,”
he says of those in his life.
Findlay’s story is not unique to many of those
baby btximers who realized late in life that they
had been kidding themselves about their sexual­
ity through the years. He grew up in Iowa, and
his parents moved to California after his fathers
retirement 28 years ago. Upon graduating from
Iowa State University, Findlay found himself
also moving west, landing in Portland.
He started in the insurance business and
found success with a national firm, moving up
the ranks until he had achieved what anyone
would consider a comfortable lifestyle. He still
works for the same company and has created a
new firm of his own, William S. Findlay and
Associates LLC, which offers business and insur­
ance consulting services.
During most of his adult life, Findlay has
been a dynamic leader with nonprofit groups.
He is a longtime board member of the Oregon
Symphony, was on the national board of YMCA
for eight years and served as chairman of the
Oregon Public Broadcasting board for 5 1/2
years; under his watch OPB moved into a new
facility and transitioned from a totally state-
controlled entity into a nonprofit organization.
His current passion is his work with Oregon
Health »Si Sciences University’s Center for
Healthy Aging, for which he serves as advisory
council chairman.
Perhaps it is the fact that his 93-year-old
father shoots golf scores that equal his age, still
drives and gets around just fine, but aging is
something Findlay has been fascinated by for a
long time. Then again, it might be that he faced
some long-term care concerns when his mother
grew ill. Or maybe his experience in the insur­
ance field, especially with life insurance clients,
piqued his interest in the topic.
Whatever the case, being able to age grace­
fully and meaningfully is something that struck
A ging G racefully
Gay man raises awareness about long-term care for the elderly
by Tom Stevenson
Findlay as incredibly important. And he says
that meeting the needs of the ever-increasing
elderly population, including those in the sexual
minorities community, is going to continue to
become a huge challenge facing the United
States.
“I believe that within 10 years, long-term
care {for the elderly) will be the biggest domestic
and political issue in the country,” says Findlay,
who adds that skyrcxiketing health care costs
and the lack of choice for some are propelling
the hot-button topic into the public forefront.
Part of the work of the OHSU Center for
Health Aging focuses on education. “We are
really working on educating new and existing
practitioners on how to deal with elder
patients,” Findlay says.
Just how critical are issues involving the
elderly? Consider this: OHSU says in one of its
publications that by 2025 one in four Oregoni­
ans will be 65 or older. That is why the center
was created in the first place. The idea is that it
can “marshal the power of the university’s nurs­
ing, family caregiving, genetics and
other medical specialties to help
enhance and prolong human vitali­
ty and independence. And when
sickness and dependence are at
issue, the center’s focus extends
beyond the management of chronic illness to
the preservation of dignity, self-determination
and quality of life in aging adults.”
Findlay notes that along with the traditional
issues facing the elderly, the older queer popula­
tion faces some additional hurdles. For example,
he notes, many traditional families have multi­
ple siblings to help take care of Mom and Dad as
they age. For gay men and lesbians who have no
children, the question must be asked: Who cares
for them?
"The majority (of queer elders] simply don’t
have someone,” Findlay says.
That fact becomes increasingly significant
when considering whether to seek long-term
care in the home or in an institutional setting.
The costs, Findlay says, are about the same.
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and a full-time Portland State University student
who can be reached at ruraltom@yahoo.com .
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“In-home care is more labor intensive vs.
paying for bricks and mortar of the facilities," he
says. But for people who do not have the support
necessary to remain at home, an institution
might be their only option.
Because Findlay has been in the insurance
industry for so long and now has become pas­
sionately involved in long-term care for
the elderly, he can offer some insight
regarding how everyone, especially
those in the gay and lesbian communi­
ty, can prepare for the inevitable.
“Everyone ages differently,” he says,
thus it is vitally crucial to begin think­
ing about elder care early in life.
“People need to ask themselves,
‘What do I want my life to be like 20
years from now?* ” he explains. "They
need to set a goal. They need to deter­
mine how to get there. They need to talk
to those who can help them get there.”
By setting the goal now, Findlay
says, people can avoid facing some
heavy pitfalls when they become older
and need specialized care. The early
. decisions can help keep a multitude of
choices available
later in life.
Findlay can look
at his own life and
see how making
choices and setting
goals can make a
big difference. He
did, after all, make
a dramatic change
in his life when he
finally stepped out
of his marriage and
admitted to himself
and others that he
was a gay man. He
—Bill Findlay credits his home
church, Milwaukie
Presbyterian, his pastor, his family and some
extremely supportive friends with helping him
make the move.
“It was very hard and very scary coming out,"
he says. “But it has worked out fine.”
Findlay looks around today and sees that
many of those he feared telling the most have
turned out to be more supportive than he ever
could have imagined. He did find a partner, but
after 2 1/2 years that ended and he is single
again. Still, he has evolved as a person, thrown
himself into new passions and, well, life is gixxl.
Who could ask for more? JH
"People need to ask
themselves, 'What do I
want my life to be like
20 years from now?'
They need to set a goal.
They? need to determine
how to get there. They
need to talk to those who
can help them get there."
V isualize Y our
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17
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